We're launching some new stuff today: new email notifications.

For years now, we've had an option for emailing NewsFlash links to people who want to be the first in their office to know what the hell is going on -- since we watch all the other news sites so you don't have to.

A few months back, we extended this and added an option for emailing you when any links you submit get greenlit for Fark's main page or any tabs.

Today, we're adding a few more options:

- Notifications of new Fark Parties submitted nearby
- Notifications of comments that are replies to yours, or quote you, mention you, etc
- Notifications of any new comments in threads you've posted in lately
- Notifications of any new comments in threads you're watching

We wrote up an FAQ entry about it, explaining in a lot more detail how it all works and where to find it. But briefly, to enable or disable these email notifications, go to your MyFark profile, and at the very top of your profile, entering your password and click "Edit". From there, scroll down to the "Subscriptions section", which is right below Contacts and right above Bio.

Some of the new comment notifications are available directly under the comment posting box as well, for convenience. Also, there are unsubscribe links at the bottom of every single email, so you can just click on those if you want to shut 'em off at any time without having to go back to your profile.

We plan on turning the notifications of replies to your own comments on by default, and everything else off by default.

For the new Fark Party notifications, there are a few prerequisites:

- You have to set your home location in your profile. All we need is your zip code or postal code -- nothing more specific.
- The party has to be submitted to the Fark Party database at http://www.fark.com/cgi/party.pl -- which we give a link to on the normal link submission page if you submit a party there.

TotalFarkers got a head start on this about two weeks ago, and now we're releasing it for everyone else. For a shameless plug, this, and another new mobile-related feature we're previewing for them today, is one of the perks of joining TotalFark. :-)

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-10-17 to Sat 2010-10-23:

  Drunken goat sacrifice goes horribly wrong. As if it could have gone horribly right    

  Kid steals parents pot and turns it in at school after DARE lesson. Next week's lesson: How to handle life in foster care    

  Numerous health problems linked to phthalates, according to the Sylvester Cat Research Institute    

  Woman arrested in St. Helens shooting. Witnesses say she just blew her top    

  Large bag of marijuana found floating in Massachusetts river. Cops knew immediately knew it was pot since the tide was high    

  Old men more likely to favor legal prostitution. There goes your inheritance    

  Dear Fark: I never thought I'd be writing one of these headlines, but Bob Guccione is dead at 79    

  States with abstinence-only sex education have higher rates of teen pregnancy, while other states see a drop. You're doing it    

  Man caught groping woman on airplane. Authorities immediately removed him from the airplane and put a TSA uniform on him    

  Speaking slowly and enunciating very carefully, Ugandan Health Minister blames jiggers for 20 deaths and more than 20,000 illnesses in his country in the last few months    

  NASA begins planning "100 year spaceship" program aimed at settling other worlds, sleeping with green women    


Sports:

  Mediate scores his third eagle at Fry's Open, says he just tried to regulate, deviate, alleviate, try not to hate, love his mate, appreciate, the truth dilate, hallucinate, elevate, gravitate, liberate, designate his 9-iron as fate    

  A day after selling his interest in the Lakers, Magic Johnson sells 105 of his Starbucks franchises for over $100 million dollars, or about 18 venti mocha half-caff double tall soy/skim triple shot lattes    

  Crazed fan tackled by security after he runs onto the field at Yankee Stadium to fight A-Rod for Cameron Diaz's heart. Silly boy, if he had only waited a few more days he could have gotten A-Rod on the golf course    


Geek:

  Check out this Fark headline that I retweeted and liked on Facebook that got copied by Digg and posted to Reddit about social networking overload    

  AMD reveals their new APU chip which combines ATI graphics and AMD CPUs on one chip, and call it "Llano". If installed backwards it will undo all civilization, but otherwise pretty cool    

  Bread has been around for 30,000 years. Which means that the "Best of Bread" album has been around for 29,999 years    


Showbiz:

  "Avatar" wins Environmental Media Award. Considering how many ideas, characters, and shots were recycled from other movies, it's a fitting honor    

  Bruce Willis "regrets some movies." He doesn't specifically mention Hudson Hawk or Look Who's Talking Too or Color of Night or Bonfire of the Vanities or The Last Boy Scout or North or The Jackal or... you get the point    

  Oprah Winfrey, Sandra Bullock, and Meryl Streep to star in new comedy tentatively titled "I Will Chew My Own Tongue Off Before I Even Remotely Consider Watching This"    


Politics:

  Desperately courting the pro-Kari Byron and/or geek vote, Obama to appear on an episode of "Mythbusters". Show will determine if Archimedes using a giant magnifying glasses could forge a birth certificate    

  Sarah Palin endorses John Raese in Pennsylvania Senate race, apparently not bothered by the fact that he's running in West Virginia    

  Christine O'Donnell's hair length in her "I am not a witch" commercial means A) it's shopped, B) she's wearing extensions now, or C) she's a witch    


Music:

  Kings of Leon, with their tight trousers, pointy shoes, sleeveless tops and earnest lyrics are one can of Aqua Net away from turning into a Bon Jovi tribute band    

  Adam Lambert plays Metallica's Enter Sandman. James Hetfield is rolling over in his grave, and he's not even dead yet  

  Celine Dion gives birth to twin boys. She'll probably give them names that ran in her family, names like "Mephisto" and "Beelzebub"    


Business:

  Fark-ready headline: "Seven inches is enough, RIM tells Jobs"    

  Bible.com sued by investors for lack of prophets    

  First Hooters restaurant to open in Tokyo - beer served in smaller cups, of course    
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