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(Denver Channel)   "Balloon Boy" dad Richard Heene does his best Billy Mays to pitch his wondrous "BEAR SCRATCH" back scratcher, which is pretty much a stick glued to the wall (with video)   (thedenverchannel.com) divider line 119
    More: Amusing, Balloon Boy, walls  
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10570 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Oct 2010 at 5:40 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-10-26 03:16:29 PM
Meth is a hell of a drug.
 
2010-10-26 03:25:16 PM
Those poor kids never stood a chance.
 
2010-10-26 03:46:14 PM
Inanimate Carbon Rod frowns upon these shenanigans.
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2010-10-26 03:59:14 PM
Hey, ya' know? That gives me an idea for a great new toy for the kids ...

www.boingboing.net

/Join the beta testing for half price of only $19.99
//EIP, I accept paypal
 
2010-10-26 04:08:18 PM
He needs to finish the Billy Mays impression.
 
2010-10-26 05:03:15 PM
Someone needs to put his nads in a Slap Chopper and shave his head with a Ped Egg.
 
2010-10-26 05:43:53 PM
Or just use a door frame, or a tree outside.
 
2010-10-26 05:44:31 PM
Why won't these people just go away. Yeah I'm looking at you Snooki.
 
2010-10-26 05:44:40 PM
AdolfOliverPanties: He needs to finish the Billy Mays impression.

Hahahahah THIS
 
2010-10-26 05:44:45 PM
DOES HIS WHAT?
www.wheresbillymays.com
/HOT LIKE HELL, AMIRIGHT BILLY?
 
2010-10-26 05:44:51 PM
BUTTSCRATCHEEEEERRR!
 
2010-10-26 05:46:27 PM
I like how the secret is that it has all these little knots but it also has a thick gel coating (thus leading to a more uniform surface)...

Child services needs to start building a case to get the kids while there is still hope for those kids.
 
2010-10-26 05:47:21 PM
I'm almost embarrased for this guy.

/almost
 
2010-10-26 05:47:33 PM
It is a smooth surface with dimples. It would be like scratching your back with roller skates. Just use an actual tree, dumbass.
 
2010-10-26 05:47:51 PM
lglp.org.uk
 
2010-10-26 05:49:14 PM
the thing is someone will actualy pay for this. Which is what makes it all the more enjoyable. Please excuse me while i run outside to the pine in my back yard and get my bear on.
 
2010-10-26 05:50:22 PM
I dunno about anyone else but my back isn't itchy enough to plague me with thoughts of how I can scratch it enough.
 
2010-10-26 05:50:45 PM
Why isn't he getting his back scratched by his cell mate Bubba?
 
2010-10-26 05:51:12 PM
Wow, who needs the Onion gag gift boxes for pranks when you can get this!
 
2010-10-26 05:51:53 PM
That has got to be in contention for the stupidest farking thing I've ever seen.
 
2010-10-26 05:52:46 PM
So 4chan will work to ruin the life of a pre-teen but does nothing to this guy?
 
2010-10-26 05:53:02 PM
I bought a bamboo backscratcher at Pier 1 for a buck. Best backscratcher ever.
 
2010-10-26 05:53:35 PM
catmacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-10-26 05:54:31 PM
I watched that with the same mouth breather look on my face as I get when reading a political thread on reddit.
 
2010-10-26 05:54:52 PM
Jay Dee: BUTTSCRATCHEEEEERRR!

Buttscratcher?
 
2010-10-26 05:55:09 PM
Ok, no matter what the dad invents or does, there is no worse thing that could be done than this mess of a theme song for his "reality show"

/not a rick roll
//that would be too merciful
 
2010-10-26 05:55:31 PM
He stole that idea!

For the past 20 years you can buy a cat brusher/scratcher that fits in a corner while mounted on the wall (low down where the cats can reach it).

Actually the cat scratcher just blends into it's surroundings, unlike a stick nailed on a wall....

Must be fun to be a redneck! dur dur dur
 
2010-10-26 05:55:44 PM
Jay Dee: BUTTSCRATCHEEEEERRR!

BUTTSCRATCHERRRRRRRR!!
 
2010-10-26 05:56:31 PM
Oh gee, I would totally buy this. If I wasn't able to reach every inch of my back with my hands. Or if I'm feeling lazy, pick up a pen.

Seriously the fact that it has basically no protrusions and is covered in hardened goo renders it useless.
 
2010-10-26 05:56:57 PM
"HONEY! I DON'T NEED YOU ANY MORE!"

/...hidden masturbation joke?
 
2010-10-26 05:58:23 PM
Does anyone else ever watch these awkward videos and feel embarrassed for the people in them?

Thanks a lot, Richard, for making me feel the shame you won't!
 
2010-10-26 05:58:34 PM
Is that the "balloon boy" himself, in the right of the picture?
 
2010-10-26 05:58:39 PM
ha-ha-guy: Child services needs to start building a case to get the kids while there is still hope for those kids.

No kidding.
 
2010-10-26 05:58:41 PM
The web site is priceless: http://www.bearscratch.com/Default.asp.

The About Us page is hilarious. "Most of Richard's inventions are geared to help make life easier for people or to save human lives."

Add in the fact that the main page's title is "Volusion Demo Store" its like something some one just slapped up there to scam credit card info.
 
2010-10-26 05:59:15 PM
akede: So 4chan will work to ruin the life of a pre-teen but does nothing to this guy?

He wants attention. They like to call out AW's, from what I've seen. Calling him out would do no good, he's already a pariah and doesn't seem to care at all.
 
2010-10-26 05:59:31 PM
And Teeny Heene is featured once again!

blogs.nyu.edu
 
2010-10-26 06:00:03 PM
davidphogan: akede: So 4chan will work to ruin the life of a pre-teen but does nothing to this guy?

He wants attention. They like to call out AW's, from what I've seen. Calling him out would do no good, he's already a pariah and doesn't seem to care at all.


Good point.
 
2010-10-26 06:00:35 PM
I want this guy to die.
 
2010-10-26 06:00:44 PM
It looks pretty useless, but if I can beat Heene with it, I'll take one.
 
2010-10-26 06:02:09 PM
thinks_on_feet: I want this guy to die.

Dude!
 
2010-10-26 06:03:50 PM
He should make a 3/4 inch hole in the wall, put the stick in it, and use whatever is left sticking out as a "Go Fark Yourself" stick.
 
2010-10-26 06:04:13 PM
From the article: ... moved his family to Bradenton, Fla., last August.


Anyone who is surprised that the Heenes now live in the state with its own Fark tag, please raise your hand.

Anyone? Bueller?
 
2010-10-26 06:04:22 PM
Patent pending?

I want to see that patent application. "Prior art includes long sticks of rough wood and a method for sticking shiat up on the wall."
 
2010-10-26 06:04:58 PM
Amusing that this guy moved to my town. I wonder if I share an apartment complex with him.
 
2010-10-26 06:05:46 PM
Crazy meth-eyes.

Beat the beast to death with a log.
 
2010-10-26 06:06:55 PM
"HONEY! I DON'T NEED YOU ANY MORE!"

/He started saying that while in jail
 
2010-10-26 06:07:40 PM
Adding comments has been disabled for this video.

Dammit.
 
2010-10-26 06:08:19 PM
What's wrong with that nice looking trim right next to the bear scratcher? I think that would work...and hey, they're all over the house!!

There's a reason no one invented this...it's like inventing a hole in the wall to put your finger in so you can pop your nuckle.
 
2010-10-26 06:08:34 PM
I'd rather see him demonstrate one of these:

t2.gstatic.com
 
2010-10-26 06:09:48 PM
00.15.01
 
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