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(11 Alive)   Church sign: "To whoever stole my air conditioners, you are going to need them - God"   (11alive.com) divider line 94
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7147 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Oct 2010 at 1:08 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-10-22 10:08:19 AM  
If someone stole my air conditioner, my response would be "That sucks; I guess I'll have to buy a new one." If someone steals God's air conditioner, his response is "I'm going to torture you for all eternity." Nice God you've got there, Christians.
 
2010-10-22 10:24:48 AM  
Okay, I laughed.
 
2010-10-22 10:35:32 AM  
ne2d: If someone stole my air conditioner, my response would be "That sucks; I guess I'll have to buy a new one." If someone steals God's air conditioner, his response is "I'm going to torture you for all eternity." Nice God you've got there, Christians.

You don't live in the South, do you? Stealing air conditioning should be a damnable offense.
 
2010-10-22 10:40:10 AM  
Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain
 
2010-10-22 10:46:41 AM  
The next day the sign read "You are God, just conjure up some more bro - the thieves".
 
2010-10-22 10:52:07 AM  
What does god need of air conditioners?
 
2010-10-22 11:09:47 AM  
ne2d: Nice God you've got there, Christians.

Oh chill out.
 
2010-10-22 11:13:32 AM  
Aarontology: What does god need of air conditioners?

Came here to say this, leaving happy.
 
2010-10-22 11:14:42 AM  
img88.imageshack.us

Hopefully the thief will be good at scrabble.
 
2010-10-22 11:15:27 AM  
Diogenes: ne2d: Nice God you've got there, Christians.

Oh chill out.


Hell no.
 
2010-10-22 11:48:41 AM  
Seeing as how God is omniscient, wouldn't he know who stole them?
 
2010-10-22 12:30:53 PM  
I'm pretty sure the thieves already knew they needed them. Thats why they took them. You would think if God was going to personaly letter a sign He/She might state something other than the bleeding obvious.
 
2010-10-22 12:55:08 PM  
Eddie Adams from Torrance: Seeing as how God is omniscient, wouldn't he know who stole them?

quickdraw: I'm pretty sure the thieves already knew they needed them. Thats why they took them. You would think if God was going to personaly letter a sign He/She might state something other than the bleeding obvious.

You're both missing the point. God is saying that since He is God, he is cognizant of both the identity of the petitioner and their need, even before they themselves realize it. It's a statement of God's eternal love and infinite forgiveness.
 
2010-10-22 01:01:13 PM  
God's grammar is atrocious. To WHOMEVER. Not whoever.
 
2010-10-22 01:03:19 PM  
I_C_Weener: God's grammar is atrocious. To WHOMEVER. Not whoever.

Or am I wrong? Maybe I'm going to grammar nazi hell.
 
2010-10-22 01:03:46 PM  
I_C_Weener: God's grammar is atrocious. To WHOMEVER. Not whoever.

Give him a break, God may be omnipotent, but he is an ESL student. Going from Hebrew to English is a bit of a leap.
 
2010-10-22 01:09:38 PM  
ne2d: If someone stole my air conditioner, my response would be "That sucks; I guess I'll have to buy a new one." If someone steals God's air conditioner, his response is "I'm going to torture you for all eternity." Nice God you've got there, Christians.

That didn't take long.
 
2010-10-22 01:09:54 PM  
Lighten up, atheists.
 
2010-10-22 01:11:25 PM  
When "turn the other cheek" is too hard to do, just fall back on the old "burn in hell mother@#$!" parts of the gospel. Religious is my favorite kind of hypocrisy.
 
2010-10-22 01:12:16 PM  
So god actually finished his sentence by saying "dash god"?
 
2010-10-22 01:14:31 PM  
Because of global warming?
Wait. Isn't god causing that?
 
2010-10-22 01:14:36 PM  
kunochan.com
Why does God need an air conditioner?
 
2010-10-22 01:15:44 PM  
So there are power outlets in hell?

Sweet, I'll bring the kegerator
 
2010-10-22 01:16:03 PM  
I got a good chuckle out of that.

/lighten up, Francises.
 
2010-10-22 01:16:23 PM  
LOL ... empty threats. That should get the A/C back.
 
2010-10-22 01:16:41 PM  
URAPNIS: Because of global warming?
Wait. Isn't god causing that?


this
 
2010-10-22 01:17:32 PM  
Gig103: I_C_Weener: God's grammar is atrocious. To WHOMEVER. Not whoever.

Give him a break, God may be omnipotent, but he is an ESL student. Going from Hebrew to English is a bit of a leap.


This.
 
2010-10-22 01:18:01 PM  
ne2d: If someone stole my air conditioner, my response would be "That sucks; I guess I'll have to buy a new one." If someone steals God's air conditioner, his response is "I'm going to torture you for all eternity." Nice God you've got there, Christians.

Someone steals your air conditioner and your response is a casual shrug as you shuffle off to drop 5 grand on a new one? That's not even considering the damage that AC thieves usually do to the lines when they cut them.

As someone who has actually had more than one A/C stolen I think eternal damnation sounds like someone is getting off light.
 
2010-10-22 01:19:55 PM  
Dear God,
It's "whomever", not "whoever".

Love,
JNowe
 
2010-10-22 01:20:05 PM  
Hypothetical Imperative: ne2d: If someone stole my air conditioner, my response would be "That sucks; I guess I'll have to buy a new one." If someone steals God's air conditioner, his response is "I'm going to torture you for all eternity." Nice God you've got there, Christians.

Someone steals your air conditioner and your response is a casual shrug as you shuffle off to drop 5 grand on a new one? That's not even considering the damage that AC thieves usually do to the lines when they cut them.

As someone who has actually had more than one A/C stolen I think eternal damnation sounds like someone is getting off light.


Did your hvac company happen to have a 'slightly used' model just like your old one??
 
2010-10-22 01:20:08 PM  
carlip22: Gig103: I_C_Weener: God's grammar is atrocious. To WHOMEVER. Not whoever.

Give him a break, God may be omnipotent, but he is an ESL student. Going from Hebrew to English is a bit of a leap.

This.


Shouldn't that be Aramaic?

/I could be wrong ... not that current on my fairy tales.
 
2010-10-22 01:21:14 PM  
So forgive them?
 
2010-10-22 01:21:36 PM  
I_C_Weener: God's grammar is atrocious. To WHOMEVER. Not whoever.

I_C_Weener: I_C_Weener: God's grammar is atrocious. To WHOMEVER. Not whoever.

Or am I wrong? Maybe I'm going to grammar nazi hell.


No, no. You're not wrong.

img.photobucket.com
 
2010-10-22 01:21:38 PM  
www.blogcdn.com
 
2010-10-22 01:22:34 PM  
ne2d: If someone stole my air conditioner, my response would be "That sucks; I guess I'll have to buy a new one." If someone steals God's air conditioner, his response is "I'm going to torture you for all eternity." Nice God you've got there, Christians.

[lightenupfrancis.jpg]
 
2010-10-22 01:22:45 PM  
Gig103: Give him a break, God may be omnipotent, but he is an ESL student.

Yew mean to say Gawd is one o'them thar eeleegals?

YEW TAKE THAT BACK, YEW MURCA-HATIN' FREAK!
 
2010-10-22 01:22:49 PM  
URAPNIS: Because of global warming?
Wait. Isn't god causing that allowing that to happen?


FTFY, Free will is a biatch, isn't it?
 
2010-10-22 01:23:46 PM  
Eddie Adams from Torrance: Seeing as how God is omniscient, wouldn't he know who stole them?

PsyLord: Why does God need an air conditioner?

just maybe your image of who/what god is incorrect. he might not know and he might just need one.

/it was a funny sign.
 
2010-10-22 01:23:47 PM  
Ever heard of insurance?
 
2010-10-22 01:23:58 PM  
Farking Canuck: carlip22: Gig103: I_C_Weener: God's grammar is atrocious. To WHOMEVER. Not whoever.

Give him a break, God may be omnipotent, but he is an ESL student. Going from Hebrew to English is a bit of a leap.

This.

Shouldn't that be Aramaic?

/I could be wrong ... not that current on my fairy tales.


Like Joseph of Aramathea?
 
2010-10-22 01:23:58 PM  
Notabunny: No, no. You're not wrong.

Ooh lordy, the awesome is too much to bear.
 
2010-10-22 01:23:58 PM  
PhiloeBedoe [TotalFark]

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain

Isn't "God" more of a title, than a name?
 
2010-10-22 01:24:16 PM  
Sooo... God doesn't KNOW who took 'em? Why doesn't it say, 'To Greg Peterson ... - God'?
 
2010-10-22 01:24:46 PM  
Dear God,

You take away rape and torture and I'll give you your a/c's back.

Thanks dude,

sinistermonk
 
2010-10-22 01:26:22 PM  
Tricky Chicken: So god actually finished his sentence by saying "dash god"?

Maybe he was dictating!?

/aaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh
 
2010-10-22 01:28:08 PM  
Jesus Christ, some of you Atheists need to lighten up. If you can't find humor in this then maybe you should take a deep breath and realize that not everything religion related needs your wharrrgarblwtfomgchristianstheconceptofgodmakesmeexplodearggggghhh.

You are God, just conjure up some more bro - the thieves

^ was funny as well
 
2010-10-22 01:28:23 PM  
For he is a vengeful god. And also materialistic, apparently...
 
2010-10-22 01:30:08 PM  
OnlyM3: Isn't "God" more of a title, than a name?

Applicable (new window)
 
2010-10-22 01:30:24 PM  
My favorite ever was "What in God's name are you doing?"
 
2010-10-22 01:30:25 PM  
"Really just disappointed, disappointed somebody would do that and take the time to come and steal from a church," said pastor Troy Dixon.

Why should churches be exempt from theft?
 
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