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(Contact Music)   Bad: Cleopatra remake. Worse: Starring Angelina Jolie. You've Gotta Be F*CKING KIDDING ME: Directed by James Cameron   (contactmusic.com) divider line 96
    More: Fail, Angelina Jolie, Catherine Zeta Jones, Elizabeth Taylor, Scott Rudin, 3-D films, Sony Pictures  
•       •       •

2682 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 15 Oct 2010 at 12:59 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



96 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-10-15 09:27:48 AM  
Well, on the plus side it would tie them both up for at least 10 years.
 
2010-10-15 09:45:34 AM  
Bad: Cleopatra remake

A few things are in play here.

1. Not all old movies are great and untouchable.
2. Telling the same story that has previously been told by another is not necessarily a remake.
3. Did I mention the original wasn't that great
 
2010-10-15 09:49:40 AM  
I hope there are lots of explosions.
 
2010-10-15 10:08:33 AM  
The first one was a bloated disaster. There were huge cost overruns, it was late, the movie itself is incredibly long and just meanders from one elaborate set piece to the next, and it wasn't well-received by critics or audiences. Just because an expensive period piece was shot with major stars and filmed in Cinemascope and Technicolor does not make it a masterpiece.
 
2010-10-15 10:08:56 AM  
Worse: Starring Angelina Jolie.

How so?
 
2010-10-15 10:14:56 AM  
This gives my remake of Citizen Kane starring Zach Braff new hope.
 
2010-10-15 10:20:26 AM  
Blues_X: Worse: Starring Angelina Jolie.

How so?


Because the last thing on God's green Earth anybody wants to see is her doing her shiatty Alexander/Beowulf English lisp, accent, whatever the fark.
 
2010-10-15 10:21:31 AM  
mitchcumstein1: Blues_X: Worse: Starring Angelina Jolie.

How so?

Because the last thing on God's green Earth anybody wants to see is her doing her shiatty Alexander/Beowulf English lisp, accent, whatever the fark.


Why would an ancient Egyptian queen speak with an English accent?
 
2010-10-15 10:24:17 AM  
Nabb1: mitchcumstein1: Blues_X: Worse: Starring Angelina Jolie.

How so?

Because the last thing on God's green Earth anybody wants to see is her doing her shiatty Alexander/Beowulf English lisp, accent, whatever the fark.

Why would an ancient Egyptian queen speak with an English accent?



www.wolfereports.com

Becosh.
 
2010-10-15 10:36:27 AM  
Nabb1: mitchcumstein1: Blues_X: Worse: Starring Angelina Jolie.

How so?

Because the last thing on God's green Earth anybody wants to see is her doing her shiatty Alexander/Beowulf English lisp, accent, whatever the fark.

Why would an ancient Egyptian queen speak with an English accent?


Why did Olympias of Epirus speak with...whatever the fark accent that was she spoke with in Alexander?
 
2010-10-15 10:42:51 AM  
mitchcumstein1: Why did Olympias of Epirus speak with...whatever the fark accent that was she spoke with in Alexander?

Point taken.

Blues_X: Becosh.

That one, too.
 
2010-10-15 10:46:37 AM  
Nabb1: mitchcumstein1: Blues_X: Worse: Starring Angelina Jolie.

How so?

Because the last thing on God's green Earth anybody wants to see is her doing her shiatty Alexander/Beowulf English lisp, accent, whatever the fark.

Why would an ancient Egyptian queen from Greece speak with an English accent?


FTFY. Still don't have an answer, though.
 
2010-10-15 11:19:17 AM  
Nabb1: mitchcumstein1: Why did Olympias of Epirus speak with...whatever the fark accent that was she spoke with in Alexander?

Point taken.

Blues_X: Becosh.

That one, too.


I would be fine if they used the proper ancient languages (ala Sugartits Gibson).
 
2010-10-15 11:20:11 AM  
Sounds like I'll get to see 3D Angelina Jolie with barely any plot and just 2 full hours of her lips popping out of the screen at me.

I'm sold.
 
2010-10-15 11:33:59 AM  
Blues_X: I would be fine if they used the proper ancient languages (ala Sugartits Gibson).

I hate that shiat. I don't mind subtitles if it's necessary. Meaning if it's actually a foreign film but film is largely a visual medium and subtitles are distracting. There's no need to put them there if they're not needed.

I don't see the problem with this. I'm not foaming at the mouth to see it or anything but it's not like the Liz Taylor version was some masterpiece not to be touched. In fact, I think I remember reading that it was a huge bomb.

Jolie just needs to gain some weight back. And Cameron is going to have to sink some of that fancy FX tech into erasing her tats.

/that's tats, with an "A"
 
2010-10-15 11:43:34 AM  
Blues_X: Nabb1: mitchcumstein1: Why did Olympias of Epirus speak with...whatever the fark accent that was she spoke with in Alexander?

Point taken.

Blues_X: Becosh.

That one, too.

I would be fine if they used the proper ancient languages (ala Sugartits Gibson).


No, I don't need that, just speak like a normal human being. We all know you're not British, or Greek, or Macedonian, or whatever the hell Grendel's mother would be, Scandinavian I guess? Just speak normally, she's not a good enough actress to pull off an accent.
 
2010-10-15 11:44:38 AM  
Blues_X: I would be fine if they used the proper ancient languages (ala Sugartits Gibson).

They should also walk like an Egyptian.
 
2010-10-15 12:05:27 PM  
mitchcumstein1: Blues_X: Worse: Starring Angelina Jolie.

How so?

Because the last thing on God's green Earth anybody wants to see is her doing her shiatty Alexander/Beowulf English lisp, accent, whatever the fark.


Yeah but Cleopatra was often topless, or wore sheer, see through Egyptian linen. And had wild orgies with Antony. Seems to be spot on casting.
 
2010-10-15 12:39:58 PM  
djkutch: Because the last thing on God's green Earth anybody wants to see is her doing her shiatty Alexander/Beowulf English lisp, accent, whatever the fark.

Yeah but Cleopatra was often topless, or wore sheer, see through Egyptian linen. And had wild orgies with Antony. Seems to be spot on casting.


Yeah. The last thing that came to my mind was listening to Jolie.

Also, Cleopatra was queen of the Roman breadbasket. So does this mean Jolie is going to have to eat a sammich to fill her roll?
 
2010-10-15 12:49:22 PM  
We're never going to get Battle Angel, are we?
 
2010-10-15 01:03:10 PM  
C'mon, you want to see those tits in 3D. If this goes well maybe they will reissue Gia and Original Sin 3D.
 
2010-10-15 01:03:41 PM  
I loved the Taylor original because it was a bloated, hammy piece of shiat. The scenery-chewing was amazing. Cleopatra's parade arrival was glorious, overblown, and hilarious, feeding Halloween costuming for decades.

How can James "I will show you a magic blue hippie land and you farkers will LIKE IT" screw up that? He'll make it shinier? Fark it, I'm in.

Just not if Antony is played by Sam Worthington. Please, anything but that.
 
2010-10-15 01:04:14 PM  
Shostie: This gives my remake of Citizen Kane Dr. Acula starring Zach Braff new hope.

FTFY.
 
2010-10-15 01:04:32 PM  
This will make millions of dollars and still be a piece of shiat.
 
2010-10-15 01:10:07 PM  
Nabb1: Just because an expensive period piece was shot with major stars and filmed in Cinemascope and Technicolor does not make it a masterpiece.

The 1963 Cleopatra was shot in TODD-AO 70mm.
 
2010-10-15 01:15:33 PM  
Needs Ninjas
Nazi Zombie Vampire Werewolf Pirate Ninjas
Only then will it be historically accurate
 
2010-10-15 01:15:36 PM  
Nabb1: The first one was a bloated disaster. There were huge cost overruns, it was late, the movie itself is incredibly long and just meanders from one elaborate set piece to the next, and it wasn't well-received by critics or audiences. Just because an expensive period piece was shot with major stars and filmed in Cinemascope and Technicolor does not make it a masterpiece.

img145.imageshack.us

Look, Richard Burton got to pork Elizabeth Taylor when she was at her very juciest/peak of ripness. That has to count for something.
 
2010-10-15 01:23:11 PM  
impaler: djkutch: Because the last thing on God's green Earth anybody wants to see is her doing her shiatty Alexander/Beowulf English lisp, accent, whatever the fark.

Yeah but Cleopatra was often topless, or wore sheer, see through Egyptian linen. And had wild orgies with Antony. Seems to be spot on casting.

Yeah. The last thing that came to my mind was listening to Jolie.

Also, Cleopatra was queen of the Roman breadbasket. So does this mean Jolie is going to have to eat a sammich to fill her roll?


SeeWhatYouDidThere.gif

And i hope they do feed her. Angie went from female perfection in Tomb Raider to uncanny valley.
 
2010-10-15 01:24:41 PM  
Jolie? - Ptooey!

Give me Catherine Zeta-Jones!
 
2010-10-15 01:30:21 PM  
I personally enjoyed the 1963 Cleopatra.

Was it art? God no.

But was it glorious eye-candy that featured Richard Burton in centurion gear?

Hell yes.
 
2010-10-15 01:32:32 PM  
Traditionally, non-English speaking cultures in movies are giving British accents to distinguish them from 'Murricans. This was more common in older films, these days you'll hear a myriad of accents.
 
2010-10-15 01:35:30 PM  
Should be played by Aishwarya Rai
/That is all
 
2010-10-15 01:35:35 PM  
If there is plenty of sex and nudity, it will be a hit!
 
2010-10-15 01:37:50 PM  
Remake of which Cleopatra?

The one made in 1912, 1917, 1920, 1934, 1963, or 1999?
 
2010-10-15 01:39:33 PM  
Lt. Cheese Weasel:
Look, Richard Burton got to pork Elizabeth Taylor when she was at her very juciest/peak of ripness. That has to count for something.


Actresses. Actresses. Strip them naked as any other woman, they are no longer actresses.
 
2010-10-15 01:40:10 PM  
SweetSilverBlues: Remake of which Cleopatra?

The one made in 1912, 1917, 1920, 1934, 1963, or 1999?


This one:

webspace.webring.com
 
2010-10-15 01:41:15 PM  
mitchcumstein1: Why did Olympias of Epirus speak with...whatever the fark accent that was she spoke with in Alexander?

Not that I particularly enjoyed the accent, but to my ears, it's a Greek accent. I spent some time in Greece and English-speaking Greeks all have pretty much that accent. I thought she nailed it.

/but maybe I'm just an idiot.
 
2010-10-15 01:41:26 PM  
GameSprocket: SweetSilverBlues: Remake of which Cleopatra?

The one made in 1912, 1917, 1920, 1934, 1963, or 1999?

This one:


And they're using Jolie instead of Gina Torres?!

I am offend.
 
2010-10-15 01:44:25 PM  
SweetSilverBlues: GameSprocket: SweetSilverBlues: Remake of which Cleopatra?

The one made in 1912, 1917, 1920, 1934, 1963, or 1999?

This one:

And they're using Jolie instead of Gina Torres?!

I am offend.


What is she is busy on a new Firefly?
 
2010-10-15 01:48:54 PM  
GameSprocket: SweetSilverBlues: GameSprocket: SweetSilverBlues: Remake of which Cleopatra?

The one made in 1912, 1917, 1920, 1934, 1963, or 1999?

This one:

And they're using Jolie instead of Gina Torres?!

I am offend.

What is she is busy on a new Firefly?


According to IMDB, a lot of voiceover work, but not much else.

And a new Firefly would be interesting, since Whedon killed off most everyone.
 
2010-10-15 01:51:10 PM  
tallguywithglasseson: We're never going to get Battle Angel, are we?

=(
 
2010-10-15 01:51:38 PM  
SweetSilverBlues:And a new Firefly would be interesting, since Whedon killed off most everyone.

Wash and Shepherd Book count as most everyone?
 
2010-10-15 01:54:01 PM  
I realize she is stunningly beautiful, but she is one of the biggest non-actresses of all time. She's the weakest part of any movie she's in.
 
2010-10-15 01:54:18 PM  
No one posted this yet?

mimg.ugo.com

Or this?

static.tvguide.com
 
2010-10-15 01:56:56 PM  
This will be amazing. I can't wait to see how Cameron recreates Egyptian architecture and culture.

And in 3D! It'll be almost like being there.
 
2010-10-15 02:04:31 PM  
The current theory, based on coins minted at the time and contemporary descriptions, is that Cleopatra was not a looker, and if anything was ugly ( generations of dynastic inbreeding will do that)but she made up for that with her (again from contemporary records)charm, intelligence and knowing how to make a scene.
 
2010-10-15 02:08:29 PM  
They should have cast Natalie Dormer (new window).

Now I just have to hope they remake GWTW and she gets to be Scarlet.
 
2010-10-15 02:09:08 PM  
Cleopatra was not Egyptian
 
2010-10-15 02:11:26 PM  
Hardy-r-r: Cleopatra was not Egyptian

She was of Greek descent, but she was definitely Egyptian
 
2010-10-15 02:12:13 PM  
Ohh, can the asp be 12' tall and CGI?
 
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