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(Some Sith)   Let's not forget that Luke wanted to be a Storm Trooper until he was convinced by an old, bearded, non-Christian, cave dweller living among the sand people, to commit terrorist attacks against the legitimate government   (rumormiller.com) divider line 255
    More: Satire  
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20144 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Oct 2010 at 12:45 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-10-13 01:00:58 PM  
Doc Daneeka: Was the Empire a "legitimate government"? Really?

Seeing as how the Emperor seized power in a coup d'etat, it seems obvious that the toppled Republic was the legitimate government, and the Rebellion actually restored the legitimate government.


Kind of like how the American Revolution overturned the rightful government of the colonies in a coup d'etat and seized it for the Guerillas.
 
2010-10-13 01:01:06 PM  
tricycleracer: Rawry: As if it wasn't obvious.

Too late for me.


You shot first?
 
2010-10-13 01:01:08 PM  
bestuff.com
 
2010-10-13 01:01:17 PM  
Pants full of macaroni!!: birchman: "But what would you expect from group whose leader is named Akbar; I don't know about you but that sounds pretty Muslimy to me."

Are these people serious when they say stuff like this? I'm asking a serious question because I don't watch it. Please tell me this was tongue-in-cheek.

Wasn't the seldom-used Satire tag enough of a tipoff?

/i know, i know, Poe's Law


dammit
 
2010-10-13 01:01:23 PM  
img831.imageshack.us
 
2010-10-13 01:01:25 PM  
Oops, wrong thread.
 
2010-10-13 01:01:32 PM  
Masturbation is not the sexual release you are looking for.

Christine O'Donnell: She wants to jerk YOU around.
 
2010-10-13 01:01:55 PM  
is it me or is lindsy kinda hot
 
2010-10-13 01:02:01 PM  
I_C_Weener: BKITU: Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.

Whoa. I forgot that. But he also tells Obi Wan that he hates the Empire as much as anyone long before Beru-b-cue.


The Imperial Academy while part of the Empire (like everything else) is not a direct branch of the military. Think of it more like The Citadel than West Point. After his Academy training Biggs became an officer on what was basically a merchant marine ship, the Rand Eliptic. Biggs later decided to join the rebellion before he got conscripted by the Imperial military.
 
2010-10-13 01:02:08 PM  
The one thing I've learned from the first three movies and the Clone Wars animated series is Darth Sidious is the greatest Sith lord ever.

I mean he got his enemies to destroy one another, exposed the Jedi for the weak and corrupt fools they were, and got legally elected Grand Chancellor of the Republic. All the while pretending to be a friend to the Jedi, concealing his Dark Side, and hiding in plain sight.

Truly an inspiring individual.
 
2010-10-13 01:02:09 PM  
www.motifake.com
 
2010-10-13 01:02:23 PM  
meat0918: They cut out the part where he talks to Biggs about the Rebellion, but it is in the old Star Wars picture book from the late 70s.

the baleeted scene (new window)

Biggs came back from the Imperial Academy (and "Star Fleet," I guess), saying he wanted to jump ship and join the rebel alliance before the Empire drafted him.

It was what he and Luke had "always talked about" doing.

So, you can want to join the Imperial Academy, become a pilot, and still hate the Empire.
 
2010-10-13 01:02:42 PM  
jshine: Doc Daneeka: Was the Empire a "legitimate government"? Really?

Seeing as how the Emperor seized power in a coup d'etat, it seems obvious that the toppled Republic was the legitimate government, and the Rebellion actually restored the legitimate government.

Sure, but that's not uncommon. Hell, US government was formed after violent insurrection against Britain -- the legitimate government at the time. Is it illegitimate as a result?


The victors write history. The only "legitimate" government on this continent would be some kind of counsel of elders.

blogs.misd.k12.wa.us
 
2010-10-13 01:02:59 PM  
Doc Daneeka: What a difference a decade makes. Remember where we were when Clinton left office?

Check out this blast from the past. It makes amazing reading nowadays.

President Clinton: The United States on Track to Pay Off the Debt by 2010

Nine consecutive years of fiscal improvement. FY 2001 will be the fourth year in a row of overall surpluses and the second year in a row of a surplus without counting Social Security or Medicare. It will be the ninth consecutive year of fiscal improvement, the longest such period in history.

The U.S. is on track to eliminate the publicly held debt this decade. Under OMB's new baseline projection, the public debt would be eliminated in FY 2009. This budget "baseline" by definition includes no new initiatives or policy changes and therefore the entire budget surplus is dedicated to debt reduction (including the Social Security, Medicare, and on-budget surpluses). A fiscally responsible budget that includes new investments in moderate tax relief, a Medicare prescription drugs proposal, and key domestic priorities could eliminate the public debt by FY 2010.

The most fiscally conservative President of the last 30 years, and the Republicans impeached him over trivial personal indiscretions lying while under oath.
 
2010-10-13 01:03:03 PM  
BKITU: Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.


According to the Wookiepedia, Biggs attended an Imperial Academy under the assumption that Luke would follow him as soon as possible. Their plan was to buy a starship after graduation and go into business together. So it sounds like they were planning on joining the Imperial Academy just as a way of making a few bucks, seeing a few sights, and getting on with their lives. So yes, sounds like you're right. Any lingering allegiance that Biggs and Luke had to the Empire was destroyed when the stormtroopers attacked.
 
2010-10-13 01:03:24 PM  
My favorite part of the whole article was when Rumormill hijacked my browser and showed me pages of ads without letting me close the tab.
 
2010-10-13 01:03:31 PM  
As long as we're on the topic of celebrities in stormtrooper costumes, here's Mythbuster Adam Savage's costume from this year's San Diego Comic-Con:
i224.photobucket.com
 
2010-10-13 01:03:48 PM  
All Luke wanted to do was go into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters. He never wanted to be a stormtrooper, man. Weren't they all clones, anyway?

And why does every rumormiller article have to include somebody ejaculating? It's like he knows his satire isn't good enough to be realized as satire on its own.
 
2010-10-13 01:05:04 PM  
www.unnecessaryumlaut.com
 
2010-10-13 01:05:40 PM  
Doc Daneeka: What a difference a decade makes. Remember where we were when Clinton left office?

Check out this blast from the past. It makes amazing reading nowadays.

President Clinton: The United States on Track to Pay Off the Debt by 2010

Nine consecutive years of fiscal improvement. FY 2001 will be the fourth year in a row of overall surpluses and the second year in a row of a surplus without counting Social Security or Medicare. It will be the ninth consecutive year of fiscal improvement, the longest such period in history.

The U.S. is on track to eliminate the publicly held debt this decade. Under OMB's new baseline projection, the public debt would be eliminated in FY 2009. This budget "baseline" by definition includes no new initiatives or policy changes and therefore the entire budget surplus is dedicated to debt reduction (including the Social Security, Medicare, and on-budget surpluses). A fiscally responsible budget that includes new investments in moderate tax relief, a Medicare prescription drugs proposal, and key domestic priorities could eliminate the public debt by FY 2010.

The most fiscally conservative President of the last 30 years, and the Republicans impeached him over trivial personal indiscretions.


You misspelled perjury. Let's not change history. The President lied under oath. I get that it was his personal business and don't care. I don't think he was a bad leader except that he lied. Let's not change history. He lied under oath.
 
2010-10-13 01:05:51 PM  
Sybarite: I_C_Weener: BKITU: Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.

Whoa. I forgot that. But he also tells Obi Wan that he hates the Empire as much as anyone long before Beru-b-cue.

The Imperial Academy while part of the Empire (like everything else) is not a direct branch of the military. Think of it more like The Citadel than West Point. After his Academy training Biggs became an officer on what was basically a merchant marine ship, the Rand Eliptic. Biggs later decided to join the rebellion before he got conscripted by the Imperial military.


that makes sense.
 
2010-10-13 01:05:57 PM  
Freakin Rican: is it me or is lindsy kinda hot

This. I'd like to plow her dark side.
 
2010-10-13 01:06:39 PM  
Can I equate "Imperial Academy" to "State School"? Was he essentially trying to get into Tatooine U?
 
2010-10-13 01:07:16 PM  
www.bellaonline.com

In another deleted scene, Biggs provided the code for the Death Star's force field generator.
 
2010-10-13 01:08:01 PM  
Underwater Bystander: Can I equate "Imperial Academy" to "State School"? Was he essentially trying to get into Tatooine U?

Flight school.
 
2010-10-13 01:08:09 PM  
Doc Daneeka: What a difference a decade makes. Remember where we were when Clinton left office?

Check out this blast from the past. It makes amazing reading nowadays.

President Clinton: The United States on Track to Pay Off the Debt by 2010

Nine consecutive years of fiscal improvement. FY 2001 will be the fourth year in a row of overall surpluses and the second year in a row of a surplus without counting Social Security or Medicare. It will be the ninth consecutive year of fiscal improvement, the longest such period in history.

The U.S. is on track to eliminate the publicly held debt this decade. Under OMB's new baseline projection, the public debt would be eliminated in FY 2009. This budget "baseline" by definition includes no new initiatives or policy changes and therefore the entire budget surplus is dedicated to debt reduction (including the Social Security, Medicare, and on-budget surpluses). A fiscally responsible budget that includes new investments in moderate tax relief, a Medicare prescription drugs proposal, and key domestic priorities could eliminate the public debt by FY 2010.

The most fiscally conservative President of the last 30 years, and the Republicans impeached him over trivial personal indiscretions.


He was impeached because he lied under oath..
 
2010-10-13 01:08:14 PM  
Speedofdarkness: Didn't it turn out that all the Storm Troopers were clones? Talk about being the odd man out in that organization.

I believe only the first generation were clones, and they were made in one big batch. By the time episode 4-6 came around, if they were clones, they would need galactic walkers or some shiat.
 
2010-10-13 01:09:07 PM  
BKITU: Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.


Google "anchorhead story". There was a gutted scene... a lengthy one, that takes place before the start of Star Wars. It's Luke, Biggs, and a couple of their buddies shooting the shiat.

Biggs' plan was always to join the Imperial academy and then jump ship and join the Rebellion after his training was complete.

Apparently some versions of the film (TV broadcasts, drive-in movies) had used an early edit of Star Wars that left this scene in.
 
2010-10-13 01:09:19 PM  
Contrabulous Flabtraption: Freakin Rican: is it me or is lindsy kinda hot

This. I'd like to plow her dark side.


she is a liar and a spy for the rebel alliance....

bring her to my quarters!
 
2010-10-13 01:09:49 PM  
meat0918: BKITU: Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.

They cut out the part where he talks to Biggs about the Rebellion, but it is in the old Star Wars picture book from the late 70s.


Yup. And as it was removed, it was never put into the canon.

And it is "canon", not "cannon".

/Grammar Stormtrooper is on the case.
 
2010-10-13 01:10:03 PM  
The Case For The Empire (new window)


/you rebel scum!
 
2010-10-13 01:10:09 PM  
FTFA:

"Lets not forget that Luke wanted to be a Storm Trooper until he was convinced by an old, bearded, non-Christian, cave dweller living among the sand people, to commit terrorist attacks against the legitimate government. Also remember that it was the Empire that brought an end to the big government waste of the Federation. The Rebel Alliance was terrorist menace that wanted nothing more than to blow up towers in the Federation's capital city at Coruscant.

What makes this satire piece all the more sweet is how these sentiments have actually been voiced by a well-connected conservative spokesman that has appeared on Fox News (new window). And how other conservatives (new window) still think the Empire are their idea of good guys (new window, "Unlike Fidel Castro, Princess Leia is prettier, doesn't have a beard, and doesn't wear a bra") with the good ideas (new window).
 
2010-10-13 01:10:10 PM  
BKITU: Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.


I always took it that Luke had it in his mind to go with the Rebels, and Owen that Luke would go to the Imperial Academy.

I'd be like "I need your help on the farm this year, son, if you stay, next year we'll see about getting you signed up for the Corps." Dad is suggesting the US Marines. The kid could be thinking PeaceCorps.

I donno. Again, bad farking writing.
 
2010-10-13 01:10:12 PM  
Harry Freakstorm: Ignorance of the law does not protect you.

Of the law ignorance does not you protect, hmmmmm?

FTFY

(fixed that for Yoda)
 
2010-10-13 01:11:42 PM  
img838.imageshack.us
 
2010-10-13 01:12:19 PM  
Doc Daneeka: Was the Empire a "legitimate government"? Really?

Seeing as how the Emperor seized power in a coup d'etat, it seems obvious that the toppled Republic was the legitimate government, and the Rebellion actually restored the legitimate government.


The legitimate government gave power to Palpatine for their security. he didn't relinquish power, but he acted within the government's rules, so yes...they were the established government even if corrupted.
 
2010-10-13 01:13:01 PM  
erveek: Subby: Let's not forget that Luke wanted to be a Storm Trooper...

Isn't he a little short for a stormtrooper?


You're right.

img651.imageshack.us
 
2010-10-13 01:13:15 PM  
vaconex: You misspelled perjury. Let's not change history. The President lied under oath. I get that it was his personal business and don't care. I don't think he was a bad leader except that he lied. Let's not change history. He lied under oath.

I don't really want to continue this discussion here after admitting I accidentally posted in the wrong thread...but "perjury" and "lying under oath" are not the same thing.

Perjury means lying under oath about matters material to a judicial proceeding. Whatever transpired between Clinton and Lewinsky, it was completely immaterial to the scope of the investigation of the Independent Counsel. Ken Starr had by then wandered far afield of his original mandate to investigate Whitewater.
 
2010-10-13 01:13:43 PM  
She can waste time with her friends when her chores are done.
 
2010-10-13 01:13:43 PM  
birchman: "But what would you expect from group whose leader is named Akbar; I don't know about you but that sounds pretty Muslimy to me."

Are these people serious when they say stuff like this? I'm asking a serious question because I don't watch it. Please tell me this was tongue-in-cheek.


Does the tag 'Satire' mean anything to you?
 
2010-10-13 01:14:16 PM  
deleted scenes of Biggs and Luke in anchorhead prior to luke meeting Ben
Link (new window)
Link (new window)
 
2010-10-13 01:14:58 PM  
jst3p: The victors write history. The only "legitimate" government on this continent would be some kind of counsel of elders.

Yea, but they just got the land by killing off the saber-tooth cats & mammoths.
 
2010-10-13 01:14:58 PM  
the Clone factories will be shutdown after the clone wars as the DNA is compromised and the clones find out they have a limited lifespan (ie bladerunner) but they served their purpose of arming the Republic with non-jedi troops and once the Empire is established at the end of Episode III the clones are replaced by humans who are not as trained as clones but get the job done..
 
2010-10-13 01:14:59 PM  
pdee: One mans terrorist is another mans freedom fighter.


WRONG!

This is dangerously stupid thing to let people believe. Terrorists are NOTHING like freedom fighters.

If our founding fathers were terrorists they would have sent agents to poison water supplies in London.

Terrorism is not relative to side. It has a specific meaning that does not concern sides or causes. It's about tactics. A person could be a terrorist in the Tastes Great, Less Filling jihad if he plants pipe bombs in school busses.
 
2010-10-13 01:15:02 PM  
astralvortex: Speedofdarkness: Didn't it turn out that all the Storm Troopers were clones? Talk about being the odd man out in that organization.

I believe only the first generation were clones, and they were made in one big batch. By the time episode 4-6 came around, if they were clones, they would need galactic walkers or some shiat.


Even more so since they altered the genetics so that they would age faster..
 
2010-10-13 01:15:53 PM  
Stealing our headlines from Reddit now, are we?
 
2010-10-13 01:16:11 PM  
vaconex: Doc Daneeka: What a difference a decade makes. Remember where we were when Clinton left office?

Check out this blast from the past. It makes amazing reading nowadays.

President Clinton: The United States on Track to Pay Off the Debt by 2010

Nine consecutive years of fiscal improvement. FY 2001 will be the fourth year in a row of overall surpluses and the second year in a row of a surplus without counting Social Security or Medicare. It will be the ninth consecutive year of fiscal improvement, the longest such period in history.

The U.S. is on track to eliminate the publicly held debt this decade. Under OMB's new baseline projection, the public debt would be eliminated in FY 2009. This budget "baseline" by definition includes no new initiatives or policy changes and therefore the entire budget surplus is dedicated to debt reduction (including the Social Security, Medicare, and on-budget surpluses). A fiscally responsible budget that includes new investments in moderate tax relief, a Medicare prescription drugs proposal, and key domestic priorities could eliminate the public debt by FY 2010.

The most fiscally conservative President of the last 30 years, and the Republicans impeached him over trivial personal indiscretions.

You misspelled perjury. Let's not change history. The President lied under oath. I get that it was his personal business and don't care. I don't think he was a bad leader except that he lied. Let's not change history. He lied under oath.



This is a Star Wars thread
 
2010-10-13 01:16:16 PM  
Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

thank the Force this was corrected in the first
 
2010-10-13 01:16:17 PM  
apeiron242: If our founding fathers were terrorists they would have sent agents to poison water supplies in London.

Yea, they were more like insurgents than terrorists. Firing from the bushes rather than in formation was the "roadside IED" of its day.
 
2010-10-13 01:16:20 PM  
Or maybe the academy was just an educational institution, nothing to do with becoming a Storm Trooper.
 
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