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(Some Guy)   Meet the saddest woman alive. Yes, it's Twilight related   (theaustralian.com.au) divider line 102
    More: Sad, UN Human Rights Council, twihards, fan convention, twilight books, Greenwich Village, Barnes & Noble, lotions, hand models  
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14676 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 04 Oct 2010 at 1:13 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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ZAZ [TotalFark]
2010-10-03 07:26:42 PM
This picture gives me an idea what she can do with those star hands.
farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2010-10-03 08:24:11 PM
mimg.ugo.com
It's a conspiracy!
 
2010-10-03 09:31:28 PM
Did anyone else read that as pinky sized hole?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2010-10-03 09:33:05 PM
Did anyone else read that as pinky sized hole?

Not until you mentioned it, but you've given me another idea what she can do.
 
2010-10-03 09:56:54 PM
She's got nothing on Ray McKigney. He was the best.
 
2010-10-03 09:57:08 PM
i299.photobucket.com
 
2010-10-03 10:11:25 PM
oh dear. That is about as pathetic as it gets.
 
2010-10-03 11:57:00 PM
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,


This could be the closest thing she'll ever be to fame.

And she's probably closer than 90 percent of us on Fark.
 
2010-10-04 01:15:56 AM
Dear woman,


You got paid $300 to hold an apple. You've already cashed in on the Twilight franchise. Please move on.
 
2010-10-04 01:20:31 AM
images.tvrage.com
Shares her pain (if her pain is cilantro related)
 
2010-10-04 01:29:12 AM
Wouldn't most people be ashamed of this and be trying to hide the fact they were on the cover of a Twilight book?
 
2010-10-04 01:30:01 AM
img214.imageshack.us

I'd give her some hands-on glory.
 
2010-10-04 01:33:40 AM
"I see people reading it on the subway and I say, 'Those are my hands! I'm a hand model!'" she explained. "I'm sure they think I'm crazy - a crazy lady on the subway."

Well, gee. I wonder.

Subby's headline is painfully spot on... this is the saddest woman alive. Yeesh.
 
2010-10-04 01:35:24 AM
Hickey sometimes hangs out near the cash register at the Barnes & Noble book store near her Greenwich Village apartment to spread the word

WOW. I spent a half year period after a bad breakup going straight home from working and drinking myself to sleep on a daily basis, and even I think that's more pathetic than I was.
 
2010-10-04 01:46:00 AM
nicotommer: Hickey sometimes hangs out near the cash register at the Barnes & Noble book store near her Greenwich Village apartment to spread the word

WOW. I spent a half year period after a bad breakup going straight home from working and drinking myself to sleep on a daily basis, and even I think that's more pathetic than I was.


That is more pathetic. Seriously I've never heard such a pathetic person in my life. She's so desperate for fame that she hangs out at barnes and noble? Seriously?

Wow I know I'm pathetic but sheesh I have nothing on this woman.
 
2010-10-04 01:50:38 AM
nimawai: nicotommer: Hickey sometimes hangs out near the cash register at the Barnes & Noble book store near her Greenwich Village apartment to spread the word

WOW. I spent a half year period after a bad breakup going straight home from working and drinking myself to sleep on a daily basis, and even I think that's more pathetic than I was.

That is more pathetic. Seriously I've never heard such a pathetic person in my life. She's so desperate for fame that she hangs out at barnes and noble? Seriously?

Wow I know I'm pathetic but sheesh I have nothing on this woman.


Decent looking, desperate, AND pathetic? I bet if you strike up a conversation with her, she'll give you a hand job in the history section.
 
2010-10-04 01:53:50 AM
That is pretty sad. However, I bet if one were so inclined, you could easily get this woman in bed by gushing over her fame and filling the void which is her self-esteem.

/Not saying it's right, just sayin'
//Post is just beggin' to be Rotsky'd
 
2010-10-04 01:54:41 AM
AR55: Decent looking, desperate, AND pathetic? I bet if you strike up a conversation with her, she'll give you a hand job in the history section.

Honestly, she sounds crazy enough to let you photograph the hand job and sign the picture.

I think I have an idea for my next trip to NY.
 
2010-10-04 01:54:49 AM
Damn, AR55 beat me to it.
 
2010-10-04 01:56:53 AM
Not to get all politicky, but I'd chalk up spending $130,000,000.00+ of your own money on a race you probably won't win sadder than Ms. Hand Model.
 
2010-10-04 03:00:23 AM
The headline made me think this was likely something about the felt vagina puppet (or whatever it was) creator, because that shiat was pretty sad. But this chick is worse off.

"It was too big of a deal just to let it be," she said, although she admitted that she has become "a little goofy" about the whole thing.

Yeah, just a *little* goofy to tell every goddamn person you see whilst wasting your life away standing around in a bookstore or the subway that you were the hand model for the dust jacket of a terrible kids' book that will mostly be forgotten within another five to ten years.
 
2010-10-04 03:18:47 AM
I don't get it.

Sure if your face was on something that became a sensation, even though it was not because of your involvement, I can see how someone might walk around all day saying "hey look I'm on the book!". You'd be annoying, but at least people can see that it is you.

Two disembodied hands? Well, that's sad but not AS sad as even one person who asks her for an autograph or traces her hand on the book jacket. It could be anyone's hands! That's why she only got paid $300 for it.

That said, if they could work her into the last movie, perhaps by showing her hand(no pun intended) a candied apple to a naked Ashley Greene who then proceeds to rub it all over Anna Kendrick's equally naked body prior to licking off the sticky sweetness, well let's just say I won't complain.
 
2010-10-04 03:20:17 AM
The Chewbacca Defense: However, I bet if one were so inclined, you could easily get this woman in bed by gushing over her fame and filling the void which is her self-esteem.

I think that you meant "fame" and "self-esteem", amirite?
 
2010-10-04 03:31:17 AM
Hickey had to file her nails extra short so her tiny hands didn't look like an adult's.

i15.photobucket.com

/keep passing the open windows, crazy hand lady
 
2010-10-04 04:19:17 AM
It gets even sadder. Her official website's address is...

http://www.handsoftwilight.com (new window)
 
2010-10-04 04:52:18 AM
alohomora: It gets even sadder. Her official website's address is...

http://www.handsoftwilight.com (new window)


I wonder whether Meyer gave her permission to use the books' design on her website.
Otherwise that's a farking big lawsuit waiting to happen...
 
2010-10-04 04:57:11 AM
"She even carries around a Gala apple in her purse at times so she can recreate the pose for people."

This whole thing is a bummer. What is wrong with this world?
 
2010-10-04 05:14:42 AM
Link (new window)
 
2010-10-04 05:18:43 AM
This lady needs to get some cats. Quickly.
 
2010-10-04 05:32:13 AM
I don't know - the 4 people who got the book cover tattoos are right up there with this woman in terms of 'pathetic'.
 
2010-10-04 05:37:15 AM
s.bebo.com

Feels her pain.

www.wearysloth.com

As does he.
 
2010-10-04 05:56:19 AM
I used to do a lot of sessions background vocals in the 1970's and I never ONCE stood in a record store telling people that the album they were buying had my voice on it.

The reason? Because I'd walk into the studio with the rest of the background vocalists, sing my parts, go home and cash my checks when they arrived. There was no reason for me to get "attached" to my performance. Hell, the only people that knew my legal name back then was the clerks in accounts payable that cut my checks.

Three hundred dollars for two hours work? Heck, I only made $75 an hour back then and worked 10-15 hours a week.

This chick needs to get over it. She's about as important to the book as the guy that sold the apple to the photographer.
 
2010-10-04 06:30:49 AM
alohomora: It gets even sadder. Her official website's address is...

http://www.handsoftwilight.com (new window)


From the website's intro:

"She never imagined being on the cover of a
teenage vampire romance would thrust her hands into the
international spotlight."

Well - what's the problem them? She's been thrust.
 
2010-10-04 06:41:34 AM
"Hickey sometimes hangs out near the cash register at the Barnes & Noble book store near her Greenwich Village apartment to spread the word"

That is sad.
 
2010-10-04 06:46:22 AM
Well, MY hands were featured in a Lipton Instant Iced Tea commercial. On TV!

in 1978

for a grocery store

in Iowa
 
2010-10-04 06:59:37 AM
SpinStopper: Well, MY hands were featured in a Lipton Instant Iced Tea commercial. On TV!

in 1978

for a grocery store

in Iowa


That was YOU?!?

Please tell me it was a Hy-Vee commercial.
 
2010-10-04 07:34:32 AM
Headline covered that very accurately.

Bet she could could make a bundle offering twilight hand jobs.

/except most of the fans tend not to have dicks.
 
2010-10-04 07:44:22 AM
Who the fark cares? Tell her to get into porn or make a pie outta those apples.
 
2010-10-04 07:50:45 AM
alohomora: It gets even sadder. Her official website's address is...

http://www.handsoftwilight.com (new window)


She really does seem like the most pathetic person ever. But. She is making all this money going to conventions and signing autographs. And her ridiculousness is getting her publicity. She just might be a brilliant self-promoter and we're totally off base.

I need coffee.
 
2010-10-04 08:17:35 AM
Why are her thumbs so big? What does it mean?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2010-10-04 08:17:49 AM
She is making all this money going to conventions and signing autographs.

Like the guy from Galaxy Quest who turned a bit part into a career attending cons.
 
2010-10-04 08:29:00 AM
Hickey had to file her nails extra short so her tiny hands didn't look like an adult's.
t3.gstatic.com
 
2010-10-04 08:37:47 AM
Hot, shallow, and pathetic?

Quelle Suprise.
 
2010-10-04 08:39:20 AM
But is she queen of the castle?

/I won a contest
 
2010-10-04 08:42:13 AM
She has small hands............so they would make "things" look bigger when she puts them in her hands.
 
2010-10-04 08:43:05 AM
truly sad.
 
2010-10-04 08:58:43 AM
Wow, this woman is pathetic.
 
2010-10-04 09:05:32 AM
What does the hand holding the Apple have to do with sparkly, stalkerish vampires?
 
2010-10-04 09:14:27 AM
imgod2u: What does the hand holding the Apple have to do with sparkly, stalkerish vampires?

Everything!

If Eve had stayed away from that stupid apple, we'd still be in paradise, and Meyer would have better things to do than to write stoopid books, and we'd all be too busy hanging around on clouds with our harps to read her books.
 
2010-10-04 09:14:41 AM
I am SO going to the Barnes and Noble to see if she is there.
 
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