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Octomom's giant hiding place, spontaneously combusting bankers, and Emma Watson's Boobies-Potter role: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/19 - 9/25
Posted by Drew at 2010-09-30 7:37:00 PM (31 comments) | Permalink
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20405 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Sep 2010 at 7:41 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



From Unfreakable:

No posting from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-09-19 to Sat 2010-09-25:

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  WWII hero Manfred Gans, who combed war-torn Germany searching for his parents and found them in a concentration camp, dead at 88. He is also remembered for his awesome cover of Bruce Springsteen's "Blinded By the Light"    
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  Missing banker "either met with foul play, voluntarily left the area, or took his own life." At least they ruled out spontaneous combustion    
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  Gene linked to rapid Alzheimer's onset, but he can't remember why    
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  Town council bans 100 activities at a popular beach, including kite flying, taking pictures, and digging holes. Leaves only conventional Australian beach pastimes like drowning and being eaten by sharks    
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  College girls with heavy roommates gain less weight, mainly because there's nothing left to eat    
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  Chicago man arrested for 253rd time, making him eligible for political office    
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  Supposably, there is problems alot of people has with what the right words are and where in the sentence they are at    
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  In ten years, 75 percent of Americans will be fat. USA USA U... gonna eat that?    
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  Indiana teen dies from "choking game." No word if he was wearing his Peyton Manning jersey at the time    
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  Airborne laser being tested for US Missile Defense Agency goes off-target due to software glitch that KENT STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF    
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  Train kills seven elephants in India. Local Hindus up in arms    
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Sports:

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  Add "liquor" to the list of things Jets WR Braylon Edwards is unable to hold    
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  NASCAR to take good look at the Clint Bowyer car that won the last race. Preliminary findings state "he says he's from Wichita, but his license plate says Kansas"    
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  David Beckham upset over claims he slept with a prostitute that he wasn't married to    
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Geek:

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  Scientists discovers food like flax and soy beans thrive in the soil around Chernobyl. Ho, ho, ho, Green Giant    
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  Researchers in Sweden confirm that fat people are more likely to have heart attacks. Fat people vow to take this sitting down, wheezing slightly    
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  Goodnight texting man. Martin King, father of T9 predictive text software did    
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Showbiz:

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  Owner of Octomom's house says she's hiding money. Subby can only think of one place big enough to store that much cash    
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  Jodie Foster says that despite everything, she won't abandon her close friend Mel Gibson. Gibson, for his part acknowledges that for a heretic sodomite destined to burn in hell, she ain't so bad herself    
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  Emma Watson lines up Boobies-Potter role    
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Politics:

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  Substance sickens 11 on Capitol Hill. This is completely understandable since Congress is unfamiliar with anything of substance    
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  Thanks to a new law passed by Congress, you can no longer say "mentally retarded". From now on, Congress is to be referred to as having an "intellectual disability"    
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  In the Arizona criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police who fake a crime, and the governors who pass legislation demonizing minorities. These are their stories. *DERP DERP*  


Music:

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  Spandau Ballet's Martin Kemp wants us all to know George Michael is doing okay in prison. He'd also like us to know that today's special is grilled tilapia served on a bed of rice pilaf with a baked potato on the side    
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  Vince Neil says he never really had a voice in Motley Crue. Agreed    
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  Rumor mill: Justin Bieber says he feels like "the Kurt Cobain of my generation." Let's all hope he's right    
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Business:

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  KFC pays college women for ad space on their butts, an investment guaranteed to double in returns over four years    
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  Top eBay executive leaving. Time left: 190d 17h 28m    
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  Mexico's jobless rate drops to 5.4%. Americans to start hopping the border for work    
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· · ·

31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2010-09-30 07:52:11 PM  
What the flippity-fark is this?!
 
2010-09-30 07:52:12 PM  
Emma Watson!
 
2010-09-30 07:52:23 PM  
The newest "Skyline" trailer proves once and for all that an alien-based apocalypse will be so much cooler-looking than a zombie-apocalypse. Bonus: Aliens stomping sports cars Link

Like Arrested Development, "Running Wilde" features Will Arnett as a lovable D-bag, incredibly sharp comedy writing, and lots of laughs. Also like Arrested Development, it'll likely be cancelled before you watch a single episode
Link

These missed the cut? For shame!
 
2010-09-30 07:53:03 PM  
1 second!

/shakes tiny fist
 
2010-09-30 07:58:15 PM  
Octomom's hiding place? Can't she just, you know, pull her lips over her head?
 
2010-09-30 07:58:41 PM  

AnubisMan: The newest "Skyline" trailer proves once and for all that an alien-based apocalypse will be so much cooler-looking than a zombie-apocalypse. Bonus: Aliens stomping sports cars Link

Like Arrested Development, "Running Wilde" features Will Arnett as a lovable D-bag, incredibly sharp comedy writing, and lots of laughs. Also like Arrested Development, it'll likely be cancelled before you watch a single episode
Link

These missed the cut? For shame!


check your dates.

Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/19 - 9/25


christ, the Skyline link just hit the main pages 4 hours ago.
 
2010-09-30 08:05:29 PM  
Emma Watson's Boobies

Yes, go on...

-Potter

D'oh.

/best of the batch
 
2010-09-30 08:08:44 PM  
Octomom's giant hiding place

Her own vagina?
 
2010-09-30 08:26:18 PM  

calbert: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/19 - 9/25

christ, the Skyline link just hit the main pages 4 hours ago.


True enough, though it was meant as jab at shady greenlights.
 
2010-09-30 08:28:20 PM  

Ow My Balls: Octomom's giant hiding place

Her own vagina?


images.starcraftmazter.netView Full Size
 
2010-09-30 08:36:00 PM  
Laughing almost uncontrollably, Alayna_jf. It's my night-before-vacation and I'm on beer #5...

/not Rolling Rock, either
//Homebrew, perhaps 7 percent?
 
2010-09-30 08:41:49 PM  

AnubisMan: calbert: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/19 - 9/25

christ, the Skyline link just hit the main pages 4 hours ago.

True enough, though it was meant as jab at shady greenlights.


[image from i53.tinypic.com too old to be available]
 
2010-09-30 08:54:30 PM  

KhamanV: AnubisMan: calbert: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/19 - 9/25

christ, the Skyline link just hit the main pages 4 hours ago.

True enough, though it was meant as jab at shady greenlights.


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2010-09-30 09:26:21 PM  
Emma Watson's Boobies-Potter role

WIN!
 
2010-09-30 09:33:59 PM  
 
2010-09-30 10:27:07 PM  
First Boobies Post Boobies

/Boobies
 
2010-09-30 10:35:50 PM  

ramen_for_all: HOTW and no MEMEMEMEME MEMEMEME MEMEMEMEMEME {{boom}} WTF?


Seconded. That was the absolute best yet (well, maybe tied with the Emma Watson headline), and I even bookmarked it for future nomination/voting.

WTH, Unfreakable?
 
2010-09-30 10:44:03 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: ramen_for_all: HOTW and no MEMEMEMEME MEMEMEME MEMEMEMEMEME {{boom}} WTF?

Seconded. That was the absolute best yet (well, maybe tied with the Emma Watson headline), and I even bookmarked it for future nomination/voting.

WTH, Unfreakable?


because you have to click the link to understand the headline.

headline doesn't make sense on its own.
 
2010-09-30 11:06:29 PM  
The airborne laser thread inspired me to stop lurking after all these years. I took my name from my favorite line in the comments. I had a fark account back in 2001, but I forgot the password and let it go.

So back to lurking for 9 more beers years.
 
2010-09-30 11:07:27 PM  
I don't want to sound like a whore but I really need to know.

Are we really going to get to see Emma Watson's boobs?
 
2010-10-01 12:22:31 AM  

Alyna_jf: Ow My Balls: Octomom's giant hiding place

Her own vagina?


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Oh ho ho! Is funny, because she have so many children, her halla-hallah must be very very big! Is very funny, yes!
 
2010-10-01 12:53:55 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Seconded. That was the absolute best yet (well, maybe tied with the Emma Watson headline), and I even bookmarked it for future nomination/voting.

WTH, Unfreakable?


The main criteria for HOY is that they be understandable on their own. My basic idea is that if you wrote the headline on a napkin and slid it across the table to somebody, they'd be able to get the joke. If the link expired (a very real possibility by December), people who hadn't read the original attached link would have NO idea why it's funny. Those are "context" headlines, where the headline works in relation to the link.

In the past I've excluded those for that reason, but this year I'm adding a category to the HOY contest with "context" headlines in their own category. This one has already been flagged for that contest.
 
2010-10-01 02:30:31 AM  
Best. Filter pwn. Ever.
 
2010-10-01 06:06:08 AM  
Filter pwn was not the Boobies-Potter, I'm sure it was intentional.

The T9 thread didn't get nearly as much love as it should've. Bunch of deadweights in there that have never seen T9 w/ prediction, versus straight T9.
 
2010-10-01 07:46:08 AM  

ramen_for_all: HOTW and no MEMEMEMEME MEMEMEME MEMEMEMEMEME {{boom}} WTF?


This and

Train kills seven elephants in India. Local Hindus up in arms

is a great headline.
 
2010-10-01 08:33:50 AM  
Dang. I was hoping my Waffle House headline would make the cut this week.
 
2010-10-01 08:51:15 AM  
ekdikeo4: Filter pwn was not the Boobies-Potter, I'm sure it was intentional.

This.
 
2010-10-01 09:55:46 AM  
I think I'm missing something with the elephant Hindu headline... Don't really get it. Ganesh is an elephant...is that it?
 
2010-10-01 10:11:02 AM  

Masterdog: I think I'm missing something with the elephant Hindu headline... Don't really get it. Ganesh is an elephant...is that it?


You got it.
 
2010-10-01 10:48:39 AM  

the_rev: Dang. I was hoping my Waffle House headline would make the cut this week.


That one's been flagged for the Puns and Wordplay contest.
 
2010-10-01 12:34:05 PM  
No comment from Drew -- can we have the thoughts of Chairman Wampler?
 
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