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(Wired)   One Tickle Me Elmo will stop giggling on January 9th and start announcing that the owner won a sweepstakes contest. Taliban unavailable for comment   ( divider line
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4424 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2001 at 12:33 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

41 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-10-11 12:36:42 PM  
"Tickle Me Elmo is almost inert -- it's lobotomized."

That's the funniest thing I've read today.
2001-10-11 12:41:50 PM  
Yeah, but can't you try it out by pulling the string out of the back of the box before you buy it?
. . . Hmm. . . think I'll be taking a week off in January to tour every "Toys R Us" in the country.
2001-10-11 12:42:49 PM  
Okay Pretnar, article first, THEN post.
God dammit.
2001-10-11 12:45:51 PM  
Future news headlines:

Scores of Tickle Me Elmo dolls found brutally gutted on store shelves. Several vengeful mothers held for questioning.
2001-10-11 12:46:44 PM  
Ten years from now, when some dimwitted parents finally remember where they hid the xmas gifts from 2001, they will discover an entirely new reason to hate thier lives.
2001-10-11 12:52:22 PM  
On January 9th......'Tickle Me Elmo' viruses, bombs, etc. Yay.....
2001-10-11 12:58:45 PM  
That's farkin creepy:

"Ha ha ha ha...My name is Tickle Me Elmo, and I'm going to kill you!"
2001-10-11 12:59:58 PM  
Rival: Feeling a little dark today?
2001-10-11 01:03:40 PM  
Good job Rival; that made me laugh.
2001-10-11 01:04:33 PM  
Marge: Your doll is trying to kill my husband! [pause] Yes, I'll hold.

Repairman: [pointing to a Good/Evil switch on the back of the doll] Yup, here's your problem. Someone set this thing to "Evil".
2001-10-11 01:15:26 PM  
Diogenes: Nah...

Pretnar: Glad to be of service. I'll be here all week and please remember to tip your waiter.
2001-10-11 01:20:20 PM  
This is just begging for a hack. Why, I don't know. But it would be cool to set the clock ahead.
2001-10-11 01:26:44 PM  
What scares me is the thought of a VW beetle decorated like Elmo. I hope it doesn't vibrate and giggle whenever you stop suddenly. Actually, maybe I do hope for that...
2001-10-11 01:30:00 PM  
A few years ago we were playing in the toy isle and found that you could easily switch the voice boxes inside Tickle Me Elmo with Tickle Me Big Bird, Tickle Me Cookie Monster and Tickle Me Bert. We switched them all.

Woulda been great to see a kid open his Tickle Me Elmo present and hear it do an impressive Big Bird impression.
2001-10-11 01:32:08 PM  
Once, before the orignal craze, they had a stack of these things in a display bin at a local K-mart. I picked one up, looked at it in disgust, and touched the stomach. When it started convulsing in my hands, I got an evil idea...

I set off about a dozen of them in rapid succession and walked away. From behind me... manaical laughter, followed by the sounds of the display collapsing in an Elmoquake.

Next time I came to the store all the Elmos were tightly wedged into a shelf. :)
2001-10-11 01:32:28 PM  
...ok, and what happens if it's still on the store shelf on January 9th? Last I checked, those things DO come with batteries, and you can play with them on the store shelves, your original idea might be a good one.

...and I DID read the article before posting this. It just said that the batteries must be in it. The article didn't say anything about them not coming with batteries.

  I JUST saw one of those the other day at Wal-Mart...I KNEW I should have tickled it...this might be a fun hack. :)

Oh, and Diogenes...excellent Simpson's reference.
2001-10-11 01:34:41 PM  
2001-10-11 01:53:22 PM  
I want to know how to enter the contest without making a purchase. The law requires that option.
2001-10-11 01:53:33 PM  
As a parent of a toddler this is the STUPIDest idea I have ever heard. If you buy a kid a toy for Christmas, it is broken or thrown in a storage box by New Years Day, everyone with kids knows that.
2001-10-11 02:04:59 PM  

Three words: "Steal This Elmo"
2001-10-11 02:12:33 PM  
Damn WalkenChick, what kind of demon kids do you have? Our kids toys don't break that fast ever. Broken and/or thrown in storage in under a week?? Sheesh..
2001-10-11 02:13:24 PM  
HAW!! Good one, Hiker_Yote. I did that too at a KB Toy Store but failed to generate said "elmolanche."
2001-10-11 02:14:07 PM  
I love accurate fark descriptions.

Title: One Tickle Me Elmo will stop giggling on January 9th and start announcing that the owner won a sweepstakes contest. Taliban unavailable for comment

Quote: On January 9, 2002, select Elmos will stop chortling and announce to five people that they are winners of a big-money sweepstakes competition.

Unless these dolls have sophisticated image recognition and its one doll that will tell 5 different people...

Nice of them to put a cool sweepstakes in a childs toy that may break. Great way for them to get people to pick up an old toy years later and not have to pay anything to do it.
2001-10-11 02:31:59 PM  
No body wins those contests anyway. As evidence take my 3 year run on Still no loot comin' my way
2001-10-11 02:47:01 PM  
on january 9th, a tickle me elmo will stop laughing, instead issuing a steady stream of airborne anthrax..... taliban unavailable for comment. big bird held for questioning.

*the ill*
2001-10-11 02:49:23 PM  
Hiker Yote: I did the same thing. They were like Lemmings, leaping off the shelves. Cooler yet, my Mom helped me do it. No one suspects the sweet looking housewife with Tupperare and Downy in her cart.
2001-10-11 02:57:47 PM  
These things gotta have some date timer in them. Cant imagine them being programmed with the inteligence.
2001-10-11 03:09:33 PM  
It's creeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.....
2001-10-11 03:24:36 PM  
I heard next will be a Burt doll that screams "INFIDELS"
2001-10-11 03:31:00 PM  
"The grand prize winner will receive a $200,000 check toward the purchase of a new house, $60,000 in savings bonds for their child's education, a Volkswagen Beetle, a new PC and a ride-on battery-operated VW car for the child.

All the prizes are decorated in an Elmo theme, including the Beetle."

If you win the grand prize, I hope only the check is decorated with Elmo, and not the house. I would hate to have to put Elmo shiate all over my brand new 200,000 dollar house.
By the way, where I live on Long Island. 200,000 dollars only gets a shack with no property.
2001-10-11 03:40:42 PM  
I'd be taking the cash option on the Elmo VW Bettle. Those cars are dumb enough looking without some sort of Elmo theme.
2001-10-11 03:44:41 PM  
Proximo: But how many nuts would shovel out cash for the Elmo Bug? One girl I went to school with is just nuts about Elmo, and she's a teacher now in a snooty district. So I'm sure she could afford to fark out some cash for it :).
2001-10-11 04:12:59 PM  
I'm not sure an Elmo VW Beetle would be any uglier than this thing I've seen roaming the streets a few times in and around Hollywood:
[image from too old to be available]

What are the odds that any kid won't be bored with the damned doll over two weeks past Christmas?
2001-10-11 04:13:36 PM  
Isn't Sesame Street already in enough trouble with the whole Bert is Evil thing? I hope everyone is ready for round 2 of the Elmo craze.
2001-10-11 04:18:34 PM  
What it should be called is, "Screw the Consumer by buying this Stupid Toy for a No Chance in Hell you will Win Elmo"
2001-10-11 04:25:50 PM  
Sell the elmo bug on e-bay.

LOL @ elmo house, when people ring the doorbell the whole farking house vibrates and emits laughter. Fun for the whole hood.
2001-10-11 04:27:42 PM  
"The way we've programmed him, they won't be able to do it," he stated. "We have a couple safeguards that will make it impossible for them". Gee, isn't that what the Pentagon and other high security facilities say about hacking? What makes the Elmo people think they're any match for people capable of hacking the NSA and White House?
2001-10-11 05:17:01 PM  
Eb, I have one very destructive child I call him "tornado boy" he can mess up the downstairs in 10 minutes flat - my brothers were the same way. It really isn't anything unusual. Maybe you aren't remembering that age well. Haha
2001-10-11 05:58:43 PM  
Seems to me the guy they interviewed didn't get his erector set when he was a little kid and it pissed him off:

"Christmas is traditionally a time of greed and this toy speaks directly to that tradition"

Oh, shut up. Get over yourself and have fun at Christmas, buzzkill
2001-10-11 06:52:53 PM  
I don't care what the grand prize is, I still wouldn't buy an ass-fark me elmo. That little bastard is sooo annoying!
2001-10-11 07:50:15 PM  
we had a homework thing at school where we had to bring in a news article about a new technology.
if only i'd seen this a day earlier.
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