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(Some Guy)   The top ten lies your teachers told you in school   (degreescout.com) divider line 302
    More: Interesting, Van Gogh, John Smith, Benjamin Franklin, lightning storms, Educational stages, middle schools, peppered moth, non-compete  
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39366 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Sep 2010 at 4:06 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-09-24 05:58:45 PM
slumus lordicus: mass every day sans monday

Jesus christ. I went to Catholic school for 13 years and never had mass every day. In grade school from second through eighth grade it was once a week. In high school it was only a handful of school masses each year.
 
2010-09-24 05:58:45 PM
Vanetia: Figured someone else would post this but here it is:

Whoa, that's terrifying.
 
2010-09-24 06:00:14 PM
lockers: redmid17: I realize that South America is part of the Americas, but generally people just refer to the as the Maya or Aztec or Inca.

The Maya and Aztec are from different regions of Mexico. While you may not like "dirty brown people", they are still from the same continent as "american indians".


Yes I clearly dislike dirty brown people and only clarified my stance on American Indians because no one else holds that opinion (LIKE THE US CENSUS). It's even on page one for lazy people who don't know how to use ctrl+f.

That's also aside from the fact that the OP was referring to Indians found in what is now the US and Canada. Anyone who has spent more than 2 days in school knows that the Aztec, Inca, and Mayans had writing and science. Hell I think that's 95% of the apocalyptic content on the History Channel.
 
2010-09-24 06:00:18 PM
When you are older, you will miss these days...
 
2010-09-24 06:02:13 PM
WhyteRaven74: He was wrong about van Gogh. Van Gogh never cut off his ear or had his ear cut off. It was part of the ear lobe and van Gogh did the cutting himself.

4chan Ambassador: Er, yeah, citation needed on a lot of these. Van Gogh didn't lose his ear in a fight,

The guy is basing it on this claim^, which has not been generally accepted.
 
2010-09-24 06:05:02 PM
it was all pretty much true. times change.
 
2010-09-24 06:08:17 PM
I remember a mistake taught in my social studies/civics class.

In Michigan, you have to be a registered Democrat or Republican to vote.

Truth: Only in the primaries.
 
2010-09-24 06:08:44 PM
JNowe: Oznog: Ehh: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon
23. There will be cake.


24. There will be no math.
 
2010-09-24 06:12:08 PM
WhyteRaven74: slumus lordicus: mass every day sans monday

Jesus christ. I went to Catholic school for 13 years and never had mass every day. In grade school from second through eighth grade it was once a week. In high school it was only a handful of school masses each year.


Only go go on the two important days now. figured that I have a stockpile of mass goings. i will have to start going more regularly since I have a kid entering kindergarten soon to be bumped up the waiting list.

/ still know all the hymnals by heart
// brother and friends start singing them on float trips after a few beers (don't tell me you wouldn't do the same with a bunch of other drunk cath. grade school grads)
 
2010-09-24 06:13:24 PM
Scientific method? Really? I mean we all know social science is total BS but don't knock the "hard" sciences.
 
2010-09-24 06:14:50 PM
A grasp of the scientific method, in its fundamental principles, is essential as a part of understanding how science works. It's a shame that they don't teach it any more widely, and a shame that it would not be much more widely understood for its real relevance throughout human experience - the relevance of real scientific method, not only in laboratories.

That they're teaching about it, at all, that should certainly not disappear. If anything should change, about it, educators should emphasize it, much more, and require a demonstration of an understanding of the scientific method, as a matter of demonstrating core competence as a student whatsoever of the sciences.

Any science teacher in any public school should be required to demonstrate a substantial understanding of the method, in its forms, and the essential principles in the same - such as: That a hypothesis, to be valid as a hypothesis, must be formed in such a way as that it would be fallible - as in, able to be disproved, if observations made in an actual experiment would not support it, or proved, if and only if observations made in an actual experiment clearly would support it.

Without an understanding of scientific method, the rest of science is mere information.
 
2010-09-24 06:15:34 PM
What an absolute crock. The worst mistake is the fatuous statement that lies don't need to be corrected.

No witches were burned at Salem. Capital punishment is certainly wrong in that instance, but it is different from the torture of burning. Why is it OK to lie about it?
 
2010-09-24 06:18:30 PM
I'm not going to read the whole thread to see if this has been covered, but...

George Washington and the Cherry Tree? C'mon, that has to be the most thoroughly debunked story in American history. No one believes this. Take it away, Grant Wood:

Parson Weems' Fable (new window)

The Native Americans and Pilgrims had a potluck dinner/lovefest filled with fat turkeys and corn. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Again, nobody believes this. They believe the Pilgrims and the Indians had a meal together. Which is true.
 
2010-09-24 06:18:46 PM
I love you too.
 
2010-09-24 06:20:02 PM
If you take LSD you will mistakenly believe that you can fly and jump off of tall buildings.

The guy with the withered arm that came to the school assembly had his arm petrify after shooting heroin

(Teacher) Remember the guy with the petrified arm that was here two weeks ago?
(Us) Yeah?
(Teacher) It fell off yesterday.
Somehow it always grew back before the next year, though.
 
2010-09-24 06:20:54 PM
Oh god, no, please don't bring the scientific method into question.
I thought we all knew it was rigid and flawless, as explained in many Fark threads.
 
2010-09-24 06:24:36 PM
keypusher: I'm not going to read the whole thread to see if this has been covered, but...

George Washington and the Cherry Tree? C'mon, that has to be the most thoroughly debunked story in American history. No one believes this. Take it away, Grant Wood:

Parson Weems' Fable (new window)

The Native Americans and Pilgrims had a potluck dinner/lovefest filled with fat turkeys and corn. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Again, nobody believes this. They believe the Pilgrims and the Indians had a meal together. Which is true.


Children do. Then they grow up.
 
2010-09-24 06:24:58 PM
Newton and the Apple

Lie Told

Isaac Newton discovered the law of gravity when an apple fell on his head.

Why It Is a Lie

This story was never mentioned by Newton. It didn't come into existence until around sixty years after it allegedly happened. The lie was first told by John Conduitt, who was most likely using the apple as a literary device. The part about the apple viciously attacking Newton's noggin was added later.

Why It Shouldn't Change

It gives children hope that one day they could have that "lightbulb moment" just like one of mankind's geniuses.


So, we should lie to the children?
 
2010-09-24 06:25:41 PM
If you have sex, no matter what precautions you take, you'll probably get AIDS.

If you so much as even look at or touch "drugs" (they were always some type of nebulous pills) then you'll die.

No college will accept you unless you get straight As and have never been in trouble.

I echo the comments someone made on cursive writing. In 3rd grade we had to learn it and it seemed so pointless and indecipherable to me that I promptly forgot it the next year. Then sometime around 8th grade I had an english teacher who made us write all of our papers in cursive. She didn't believe me when I said I'd forgotten how to do it and that I'd never had a teacher who made me use it before, but eventually relented to allowing typed papers.
 
2010-09-24 06:26:49 PM
meat0918: keypusher: I'm not going to read the whole thread to see if this has been covered, but...

George Washington and the Cherry Tree? C'mon, that has to be the most thoroughly debunked story in American history. No one believes this. Take it away, Grant Wood:

Parson Weems' Fable (new window)

The Native Americans and Pilgrims had a potluck dinner/lovefest filled with fat turkeys and corn. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Again, nobody believes this. They believe the Pilgrims and the Indians had a meal together. Which is true.

Children do. Then they grow up.


Nope, I have a child, and I know many other children. If there is one thing children are not being taught, and have not been taught for decades, it's a romanticized view of White-Indian relations.
 
2010-09-24 06:28:24 PM
Vanetia: Figured someone else would post this but here it is:

Wow. Mr. Hilliker needs a good ass kicking.

When my oldest daughter was in sixth grade, she came home and proudly announced that the reason there was a big hurricane going on because the planets had aligned. When we questioned here about it, she told us her teacher had taught this in science. I went and talked to the teacher and she insisted that it was a fact. I tried to explain to her that it had nothing to do with planets, but she could not be dissuaded. We finally got the school administration to place my daughter in a different class, but they would not do anything disciplinary towards the teacher as she was tenured.
 
2010-09-24 06:29:01 PM
Lampmonster: TommyymmoT: Hell, I went to Catholic school.

Where do I start?

Um, I went to catholic school, and they didn't teach us any of that nonsense. Well except the moth thing, but as pointed out above it's not false. Maybe your Catholic school sucked, but mine did a good job. In fact when I transfered to public school, I was shocked at what was being taught.

Not a Catholic by the way.


Same.

I was taught evolution and big bang. Nothing about intelligent design or creationism either.

Sure, we had to take a religion class, but anyone could bullshiat through them. Our non-religion classes were non-religious.
 
2010-09-24 06:29:01 PM
fizzix_is_fun In 1st grade I was taught that pigs were extremely unhealthy and dangerous to eat.

In 3rd grade I was taught that the only time you can balance an egg on its end was on the equinox.

In 5th grade I was taught that the ark had recently been discovered on Mt. Ararat and there was a fancy new documentary to prove it.

In 6th grade I was taught that the bible is the unerring word of god.

In 7th grade I was taught that dinosaur bones were placed on earth by god as a test of our faith.

In 8th grade I was taught that the Jewish people have a divine right to the land of Israel and everyone else should just scoot off.

In 9th grade I was taught that there was an unbroken verbal chain of instructions passed down for over 1000 years with no errors introduced.

In 10th grade I was taught that geological strata can't be trusted as age markers because everything got moved around in the flood.

In 11th grade I was taught that homosexuals need to control their urges just like rapists.

yeah, this guy didn't even get close to the top 10 lies.


You went to a Jewish day school, I'm guessing. I went to one for three years (7th - 9th grade) Fun times, right?
 
2010-09-24 06:30:04 PM
keypusher: meat0918: keypusher: I'm not going to read the whole thread to see if this has been covered, but...

George Washington and the Cherry Tree? C'mon, that has to be the most thoroughly debunked story in American history. No one believes this. Take it away, Grant Wood:

Parson Weems' Fable (new window)

The Native Americans and Pilgrims had a potluck dinner/lovefest filled with fat turkeys and corn. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Again, nobody believes this. They believe the Pilgrims and the Indians had a meal together. Which is true.

Children do. Then they grow up.

Nope, I have a child, and I know many other children. If there is one thing children are not being taught, and have not been taught for decades, it's a romanticized view of White-Indian relations.


My jab at the right wing historical revisionists seems to have been to far too subtle.

//My apologies.
 
2010-09-24 06:30:20 PM
WhyteRaven74: slumus lordicus: mass every day sans monday

Jesus christ. I went to Catholic school for 13 years and never had mass every day. In grade school from second through eighth grade it was once a week. In high school it was only a handful of school masses each year.


Maybe he left out an apostrophe:

m'ass every day sans monday
 
2010-09-24 06:31:46 PM
Gimbal: scientific method...

Just this week, my 13 year old was given lessons in it, so all is not lost.

I think it should be taught as one of the fundamental operating principles of a rational human.
 
2010-09-24 06:32:14 PM
LAUGHTER OL how retarded of the teacher must this person have if they say that the pepper moth did the evolution during the revolution of industries? No one has ever said this. What they say is that at this time the rate of these of each color had done a change which is quite the true situation but that does not mean that one did not exist before.

This article was very much as bad as some sort of sexing child of the Consumerist and Cracked with Sarah Palin as the grandmother of this child like she is of Mister Trigonometry Palin.
 
2010-09-24 06:34:33 PM
1) The government is a benevolent benefactor and can be trusted not to do any wrong. It can and will care for you like a loving parent from the cradle to the grave.
 
2010-09-24 06:35:14 PM
Any quote on the Aztec, Inca, and Mayans having obsidion blades that were much much sharper than steel ( or bronze or copper ), which perversly would make metalurgy a step backwards in weapondry? Although, I'm pretty sure a bronze breastplate would work better than an obsidion one..

OK, how about:
Day 1 - Lazers!
 
2010-09-24 06:37:23 PM
1) You can be anything you want when you grow up.
2) Anyone can be president including poor people.
3) If you do that again it'll stick that way.
4) You're a smart and intelligent boy and everyone loves you!
 
2010-09-24 06:37:52 PM
DVDave: JNowe: Oznog: Ehh: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon
23. There will be cake.

24. There will be no math.


25. I'll love you forever.
26. Southern Comfort doesn't get you that drunk.
 
2010-09-24 06:39:08 PM
prancer: Any quote on the Aztec, Inca, and Mayans having obsidion blades that were much much sharper than steel ( or bronze or copper ), which perversly would make metalurgy a step backwards in weapondry? Although, I'm pretty sure a bronze breastplate would work better than an obsidion one..

OK, how about:
Day 1 - Lazers!


Approves?

filmjournal.net
 
2010-09-24 06:40:07 PM
meow said the dog: This article was very much as bad as some sort of sexing child of the Consumerist and Cracked with Sarah Palin as the grandmother of this child like she is of Mister Trigonometry Palin.

That's it. We're cutting you off now. You've clearly had too much and need to go sleep it off somewhere.
 
2010-09-24 06:41:55 PM
Devil's Playground: Vanetia: Figured someone else would post this but here it is:

Wow. Mr. Hilliker needs a good ass kicking.

When my oldest daughter was in sixth grade, she came home and proudly announced that the reason there was a big hurricane going on because the planets had aligned. When we questioned here about it, she told us her teacher had taught this in science. I went and talked to the teacher and she insisted that it was a fact. I tried to explain to her that it had nothing to do with planets, but she could not be dissuaded. We finally got the school administration to place my daughter in a different class, but they would not do anything disciplinary towards the teacher as she was tenured.


I don't look forward to the day when I'll have to stand toe to toe with one of my daughter's teachers and tell them to stop being retarded while shoving page after page after page of evidence in their face.

I was lucky enough to not have terrible teachers for the most part. The ones I had were in English and Social Studies so who cares?

Tenure is bullshiat.
 
2010-09-24 06:42:54 PM
meat0918: keypusher: meat0918: keypusher: I'm not going to read the whole thread to see if this has been covered, but...

George Washington and the Cherry Tree? C'mon, that has to be the most thoroughly debunked story in American history. No one believes this. Take it away, Grant Wood:

Parson Weems' Fable (new window)

The Native Americans and Pilgrims had a potluck dinner/lovefest filled with fat turkeys and corn. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Again, nobody believes this. They believe the Pilgrims and the Indians had a meal together. Which is true.

Children do. Then they grow up.

Nope, I have a child, and I know many other children. If there is one thing children are not being taught, and have not been taught for decades, it's a romanticized view of White-Indian relations.

My jab at the right wing historical revisionists seems to have been to far too subtle.

//My apologies.


Your post was stupid, not subtle. Apology accepted.

/And everyone is revising history at all times, on the left as well as the right. Just look at a history textbook now versus one from 30 years ago versus one from 60 years ago.
 
2010-09-24 06:45:46 PM
Barakku: Bullshiat. Lying to kids at school is never acceptable and natural selection is NOT that farking complicated.

Agreed.

I forgive the article though, because they put "the scientific method" on the list. Given the way that's typically taught in schools, it would be 10x better not to mention it at all.

Ten other "lies" we are taught in school:

1) Glass is a slowly flowing liquid.
2) Ice melting under ice skates in an example of Le Chatelier's principle.
3) Pandas are not bears. They are not carnivores because they only eat bamboo.
4) The Viceroy butterfly is not toxic, but the Monarch is. (The Viceroy is a Batesian mimic of a Monarch.)
5) Electricity takes the shortest path. (obviously meant as a simplification, but still a horrible one)
6) [Mammal] is completely colorblind, for several different examples of [mammal].
7) The Great Wall of China is the only man-made structure visible from space.
8) Balboa named the Pacific.
9) Amerigo Vespucci named America.
10) A bill becomes a law by starting in the House and then, if passed, proceeding to the Senate.
 
2010-09-24 06:46:16 PM
This list sucks for so many reasons.
I can't even begin.
 
2010-09-24 06:47:17 PM
DreamyAltarBoy: This will go down on your Permanent Record.

Lol, yeah, I see I'm beaten to that one by you and several others. It's almost hard to believe now that for a while those words actually sounded like a serious threat, back in elementary school. As if those paper airplanes you launched out the classroom window or the spitballs fired in the cafeteria were going to come back to haunt you when you applied, years later, for college or a job.

"I must say, your resume is quite impressive, and this interview has only solidified that impression. I think you'll fit in very-- Oh wait, what's this in your permanent record? A note from Ms. Tompkins, back in third grade? Hrmmmm... I see..."
 
2010-09-24 06:50:21 PM
Skyrmion: 10) A bill becomes a law by starting in the House and then, if passed, proceeding to the Senate.

www.astrobetter.com

Never heard the "glass is a liquid" thing, though. Wtf?
 
2010-09-24 06:54:54 PM
prancer: Any quote on the Aztec, Inca, and Mayans having obsidion blades that were much much sharper than steel ( or bronze or copper ), which perversly would make metalurgy a step backwards in weapondry? Although, I'm pretty sure a bronze breastplate would work better than an obsidion one..

You can knapp obsidian to be sharper than a steel blade, but there's a lot more to a good blade than sharpness.

A myth I see a lot is that iron weapons were a major improvement in quality over bronze ones. They certainly weren't for a long time; rather the advantage of iron was in its abundance (especially over tin).
 
2010-09-24 06:55:13 PM
LMark:
You went to a Jewish day school, I'm guessing. I went to one for three years (7th - 9th grade) Fun times, right?


None of my siblings did. They're all orthodox now. I'm the lone atheist in my family.
 
2010-09-24 06:55:27 PM
Almost Pure: 1) You can be anything you want when you grow up.

www.pbfcomics.com
 
2010-09-24 06:57:39 PM
impaler: while that belief was popular, it was never official cannon.

Right. Just like we've always been at war with Eastasia.
 
2010-09-24 06:58:03 PM
res_nihil: I echo the comments someone made on cursive writing. In 3rd grade we had to learn it and it seemed so pointless and indecipherable to me that I promptly forgot it the next year. Then sometime around 8th grade I had an english teacher who made us write all of our papers in cursive. She didn't believe me when I said I'd forgotten how to do it and that I'd never had a teacher who made me use it before, but eventually relented to allowing typed papers.

I had a professor who insisted our papers be hand written, but made it clear that he wouldn't accept any written in cursive.
 
2010-09-24 07:01:51 PM
res_nihil: I echo the comments someone made on cursive writing. In 3rd grade we had to learn it and it seemed so pointless and indecipherable to me that I promptly forgot it the next year. Then sometime around 8th grade I had an english teacher who made us write all of our papers in cursive. She didn't believe me when I said I'd forgotten how to do it and that I'd never had a teacher who made me use it before, but eventually relented to allowing typed papers.

Other than my signature, I haven't used cursive since the third grade.
 
2010-09-24 07:02:43 PM
Vanetia: Never heard the "glass is a liquid" thing, though. Wtf?

That one is even common enough to get its own section in the wiki article on glass.

On the issue of Congress, I should also add "the Vice President presides over the Senate". IIRC, the number of days when Cheney actually performed that role was under a dozen.
 
2010-09-24 07:02:56 PM
unheatedgarage: res_nihil: I echo the comments someone made on cursive writing. In 3rd grade we had to learn it and it seemed so pointless and indecipherable to me that I promptly forgot it the next year. Then sometime around 8th grade I had an english teacher who made us write all of our papers in cursive. She didn't believe me when I said I'd forgotten how to do it and that I'd never had a teacher who made me use it before, but eventually relented to allowing typed papers.

I had a professor who insisted our papers be hand written, but made it clear that he wouldn't accept any written in cursive.


Same here. And a history professor, no less! Talk about living in the past...
 
2010-09-24 07:03:00 PM
Cursive is useful for writing to yourself in indecipherable code that only you can read... sometimes...
 
2010-09-24 07:06:39 PM
Skyrmion: Vanetia: Never heard the "glass is a liquid" thing, though. Wtf?

That one is even common enough to get its own section in the wiki article on glass.

On the issue of Congress, I should also add "the Vice President presides over the Senate". IIRC, the number of days when Cheney actually performed that role was under a dozen.


"The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided."
- (Article I, Section 3, Clause 4) US Constitution
 
2010-09-24 07:10:59 PM
LouDobbsAwaaaay: Besides my signature, I've had to use cursive ONCE since learning it in elementary school.

Let me guess... was it on the GRE?

When I took that exam, they told me to copy out a paragraph by hand, in cursive, stating that I will not cheat on the exam, and then sign the bottom. It had been so long since I had written anything in cursive that it took me nearly half an hour to legibly write the few sentences.

/the entire test was computerized
//irony tag seen snickering in the corner
 
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