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(Some Guy)   The top ten lies your teachers told you in school   (degreescout.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Van Gogh, John Smith, Benjamin Franklin, lightning storms, Educational stages, middle schools, peppered moth, non-compete  
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39379 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Sep 2010 at 4:06 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



302 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2010-09-24 02:08:51 PM  
Human blood is blue.
 
2010-09-24 02:09:41 PM  
"You're the best I've ever had."
 
2010-09-24 02:13:30 PM  
11) You'll get a job right after you graduate
12) You need to learn ________ (calculus, etc) for your future
 
2010-09-24 02:14:31 PM  
He told me masturbating would help me grow and make me smarter and happy.
 
2010-09-24 02:20:48 PM  
Just the tip, just to see how it feels.
 
2010-09-24 02:20:50 PM  
It seems to me a good portion of the "lies" they're reporting on have to deal with teachers over-simplifying things, when their reporting of what teachers teach is what is over-simplified.
 
2010-09-24 02:22:48 PM  

impaler: It seems to me a good portion of the "lies" they're reporting on have to deal with teachers over-simplifying things, when their reporting of what teachers teach is what is over-simplified.


Or perpetuating apocrypha.
 
2010-09-24 02:27:11 PM  
Christopher Columbus discovered America.

/but on the plus side he was a genocidal rapist
 
2010-09-24 02:38:13 PM  

Mama's Boy: He told me masturbating would help me grow and make me smarter and happy.

t2.gstatic.com
 
2010-09-24 02:46:06 PM  
That we live in a democracy.
 
2010-09-24 02:58:13 PM  
I generally wonder why people are unaware that smallpox(and other disease) killed 90 to 95 percent of the population of the Americas in shockingly rapid waves of death. This was done hundreds of years before people understood the disease and hundreds of years before the first possible use of smallpox as biological warfare.

Its like people imagine a medieval force somehow achieved such enormous levels of genocide. Its insane. Instead, Europeans were aided by a deadly secret weapon they weren't even aware they were carryingx.
 
2010-09-24 03:05:36 PM  

Party Boy: I generally wonder why people are unaware that smallpox(and other disease) killed 90 to 95 percent of the population of the Americas in shockingly rapid waves of death. This was done hundreds of years before people understood the disease and hundreds of years before the first possible use of smallpox as biological warfare.


Not only that, most of the natives had been killed off before even the Roanoke colony. The Spanish were apparently some dirty buggers.

As for smallpox's role as "weapon," Jared Diamond makes some interesting points on disease's role in conquest.
 
2010-09-24 03:14:55 PM  

Party Boy: I generally wonder why people are unaware that smallpox(and other disease) killed 90 to 95 percent of the population of the Americas in shockingly rapid waves of death. This was done hundreds of years before people understood the disease and hundreds of years before the first possible use of smallpox as biological warfare.

Its like people imagine a medieval force somehow achieved such enormous levels of genocide. Its insane. Instead, Europeans were aided by a deadly secret weapon they weren't even aware they were carryingx.


There is some evidence that indicates the story is actually true: Link (new window)
 
2010-09-24 03:16:55 PM  

ParallelUniverseParking: There is some evidence that indicates the story is actually true


I know about Amherst. its exactly what I'm referring to when i say hundreds of years before the first possible use of smallpox as biological warfare.

Amherst is at the 1760s. The population was decimated centuries before this.
 
2010-09-24 03:19:15 PM  
The moron writing that blog has a bunch of mistakes where he makes massive assumptions about how things are taught and generalizes them to everyone.

He starts of by saying Peppered Moths are not a good example of natural selection, when it was shown using statistics that the dark moth gene became more prevalent over time as the lichens died and soot became a more beneficial camouflage. The only semi-professional claiming otherwise is Jonathan Wells of the Discovery Institute. Fail!

Major error 2) The scientific method is not flavorless and it doesn't stifle creativity. The very first part of the scientific method is "ask questions, dumbshiate". Right there is a ton of creativity. Then postulating hypothesis through various methods includes massive amounts of creativity. What the fark is the author's issue? He doesn't explain.

Those are just the first couple I picked up, making this nothing more than a typical subby blog posting with absolutely nothing of use because of those major errors.
 
2010-09-24 03:20:40 PM  
The peppered moths of Britain evolved from light to dark because of the pollution caused by the industrial revolution.

This isn't a lie, it's what happened. The genetic variation became more limited to dark moths. That's all evolution by natural selection is. The fact white and black ones predate pollution is really besides the point.
 
2010-09-24 03:21:43 PM  
"This'll only hurt for a little while, I'll only put the head of it in, I promise that I'll never try to come in your mouth"?
 
2010-09-24 03:23:34 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: "This'll only hurt for a little while, I'll only put the head of it in, I promise that I'll never try to come in your mouth"?


There is only do and do not, there is no try :D
 
2010-09-24 03:23:55 PM  
Evolution.
 
2010-09-24 03:24:12 PM  
... and civ v has just downloaded. see you all after the timewarp.
 
2010-09-24 03:26:23 PM  
Hell, I went to Catholic school.

Where do I start?
 
2010-09-24 03:26:33 PM  
He was wrong about van Gogh. Van Gogh never cut off his ear or had his ear cut off. It was part of the ear lobe and van Gogh did the cutting himself.
 
2010-09-24 03:30:47 PM  

TommyymmoT: Hell, I went to Catholic school.

Where do I start?


Start big with the whole God and Jesus thing, and work down the list from there.
 
2010-09-24 03:31:03 PM  
The following are all false

1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
 
2010-09-24 03:32:01 PM  

BinkyBoy: The moron writing that blog has a bunch of mistakes where he makes massive assumptions about how things are taught and generalizes them to everyone.

He starts of by saying Peppered Moths are not a good example of natural selection, when it was shown using statistics that the dark moth gene became more prevalent over time as the lichens died and soot became a more beneficial camouflage. The only semi-professional claiming otherwise is Jonathan Wells of the Discovery Institute. Fail!

Major error 2) The scientific method is not flavorless and it doesn't stifle creativity. The very first part of the scientific method is "ask questions, dumbshiate". Right there is a ton of creativity. Then postulating hypothesis through various methods includes massive amounts of creativity. What the fark is the author's issue? He doesn't explain.

Those are just the first couple I picked up, making this nothing more than a typical subby blog posting with absolutely nothing of use because of those major errors.


That is pretty much EXACTLY what I was thinking too. Those were the biggest 2 errors I found, for the exact same reason.
 
2010-09-24 03:32:40 PM  
Er, yeah, citation needed on a lot of these. Van Gogh didn't lose his ear in a fight, and I'm pretty sure the peppered moth story is legit. Anyone have a debunking of the peppered moth that's not a creationist site?
 
2010-09-24 03:33:23 PM  

Party Boy: ParallelUniverseParking: There is some evidence that indicates the story is actually true

I know about Amherst. its exactly what I'm referring to when i say hundreds of years before the first possible use of smallpox as biological warfare.

Amherst is at the 1760s. The population was decimated centuries before this.


So what? My point is simply somebody put one and one together, came up with an idea for crude bio-warfare...and used it. It does not matter how many were killed in the end - using bio warfare against somebody who is inferior to you is just mean.

BTW: "medieval forces" were not that stupid. India and China had not only a rough understanding of the disease, they were even inoculating people in 11th century already. I believe even sooner than that but I'm not sure.
 
2010-09-24 03:35:39 PM  

4chan Ambassador: Anyone have a debunking of the peppered moth that's not a creationist site?


Even creationists don't deny that. They just say it shows that natural selection works, which they don't have a problem with (usually), but it doesn't show evolution working, because the dark moths existed prior to their prevalence.
 
2010-09-24 03:35:40 PM  

WhyteRaven74: He was wrong about van Gogh. Van Gogh never cut off his ear or had his ear cut off. It was part of the ear lobe and van Gogh did the cutting himself.


Well, it's kind of unclear. The only witnesses to anything were Van Gogh pulling the razor on Gauguin, him giving the earlobe to a prostitute, and Gauguin visiting him in the hospital later due to the severity of his wounds. Pretty much everything else can't really be verified. He likely did cut his own earlobe off, distraught from his illness and the fight he had with Gauguin.
 
2010-09-24 03:36:01 PM  
Ok, this seems to be a good article on the moths:

The fact that peppered moths do not normally rest on tree trunks invalidates Kettlewell's experiments and poses a serious problem for the classical explanation of industrial melanism in peppered moths. Although cryptic coloration and selective predation have not been ruled out, one recent review concludes that "there is little persuasive evidence, in the form of rigorous and replicated observations and experiments, to support this explanation at the present time."

Link (new window)

Huh, didn't know that :)
 
2010-09-24 03:36:48 PM  

WhyteRaven74: The following are all false

1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short

6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
 
2010-09-24 03:41:06 PM  

ParallelUniverseParking: WhyteRaven74: The following are all false

1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male

8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
 
2010-09-24 03:43:04 PM  
ParallelUniverseParking: 7. J. Edgar Hoover was male

*snort*
 
2010-09-24 03:43:25 PM  

4chan Ambassador: Er, yeah, citation needed on a lot of these. Van Gogh didn't lose his ear in a fight, and I'm pretty sure the peppered moth story is legit. Anyone have a debunking of the peppered moth that's not a creationist site?


I have in on pretty good authority (Christine O'Donnell) that his ear withered, and fell off while listening to The Divinyls (new window)
 
2010-09-24 03:54:45 PM  
Wrong about the Newton thing too. No, he didn't get hit on the head by an apple, but a colleague of Newton's wrote this in his memoirs:
"After dinner, the weather being warm, we went into the garden & drank thea under the shade of some apple tree; only he & myself," Stukeley wrote in the meticulously handwritten manuscript released by the Royal Society.

"Amid other discourse, he told me, he was just in the same situation, as when formerly the notion of gravitation came into his mind. Why sh[oul]d that apple always descend perpendicularly to the ground, thought he to himself; occasion'd by the fall of an apple, as he sat in contemplative mood.

"Why sh[oul]d it not go sideways, or upwards? But constantly to the Earth's centre? Assuredly the reason is, that the Earth draws it. There must be a drawing power in matter. And the sum of the drawing power in the matter of the Earth must be in the Earth's centre, not in any side of the Earth.

"Therefore does this apple fall perpendicularly or towards the centre? If matter thus draws matter; it must be proportion of its quantity. Therefore the apple draws the Earth, as well as the Earth draws the apple."

Article about it. (new window)
Actual page from the manuscript. (new window)
 
2010-09-24 03:56:00 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Christopher Columbus discovered America.

/but on the plus side he was a genocidal rapist


came here to add this lie, left happy
 
2010-09-24 04:07:51 PM  

Trig Paxson Van Palin: FirstNationalBastard: "This'll only hurt for a little while, I'll only put the head of it in, I promise that I'll never try to come in your mouth"?

There is only do and do not, there is no try :D


If you think about baseball, it doesn't hurt as much.
 
2010-09-24 04:08:38 PM  
Pretty much every single factoid that has ever been refuted on QI.
 
2010-09-24 04:08:38 PM  
It tastes like vanilla ice cream.
 
2010-09-24 04:09:30 PM  

Quasar: 11) You'll get a job right after you graduate
12) You need to learn ________ (calculus, etc) for your future


And you won't always have a calculator available so you need to be able to do it in your head.
 
2010-09-24 04:09:40 PM  
"It'll just be the tip to see how it feels."
 
2010-09-24 04:10:50 PM  

Barbigazi: Just the tip, just to see how it feels.


God damn you.
 
2010-09-24 04:11:19 PM  

NutWrench: That we live in a democracy.


this
 
2010-09-24 04:11:57 PM  
"There are no such thing as giant squid."

My Kindergarten teacher told me that after I had watched "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" during the previous weekend. (I was telling my classmates about it.)

/She was wrong, damn it!
 
2010-09-24 04:12:20 PM  
1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls.
Have you ever seen a cats penis?
 
2010-09-24 04:12:29 PM  
I'm sure you weren't adopted.
 
2010-09-24 04:12:53 PM  
What a lame list. Primary education is one long propaganda broadcast, and the "top ten" here are among the most innocuous of the lies.
 
2010-09-24 04:14:02 PM  

WhyteRaven74: He was wrong about van Gogh. Van Gogh never cut off his ear or had his ear cut off. It was part of the ear lobe and van Gogh did the cutting himself.



When I was in elementary school, we were told that he gave it to his girlfriend.

Years later, I heard that he gave it to his favorite hooker.
 
2010-09-24 04:14:39 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: "This'll only hurt for a little while, I'll only put the head of it in, I promise that I'll never try to come in your mouth"?


I see you went to Catholic School.
 
2010-09-24 04:15:02 PM  

Heroic Poser: 9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls.
Have you ever seen a cats penis?



What's up, Troy?
 
2010-09-24 04:15:18 PM  
Girls aren't as horny as boys.
 
2010-09-24 04:15:20 PM  
"Yes anal sex is part of Physical Education"
 
2010-09-24 04:15:26 PM  
They told me that BIE was real.

I now know better. It's a myth.

/eip
 
2010-09-24 04:17:02 PM  

4chan Ambassador: Ok, this seems to be a good article on the moths:

The fact that peppered moths do not normally rest on tree trunks invalidates Kettlewell's experiments and poses a serious problem for the classical explanation of industrial melanism in peppered moths. Although cryptic coloration and selective predation have not been ruled out, one recent review concludes that "there is little persuasive evidence, in the form of rigorous and replicated observations and experiments, to support this explanation at the present time."

Link (new window)

Huh, didn't know that :)


That article was written by Jonathan Wells, a creationist/IDer. I wouldn't put too much stock in it. Here's the Talk Origins discussion (new window) about his claims with the peppered moths.
 
2010-09-24 04:18:18 PM  
you will have normal bowel movements in a week....
 
2010-09-24 04:18:23 PM  
"Last but not least, John Smith had a well recorded tendency to exaggerate and embellish stories."

Yeah but "I swear to god she told me she was 18!" isn't really becoming a national hero.
 
2010-09-24 04:18:42 PM  
www.degreescout.com

Apparently part of Franklin's research involved nude, cherub-like boys getting struck by lightning.
 
2010-09-24 04:19:04 PM  
It will go on your Permanent Record...
 
2010-09-24 04:19:40 PM  
1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls.

10. Helen Keller hid from Nazi oppressors in an attic in Austria. With hyenas.
 
2010-09-24 04:19:50 PM  

BinkyBoy: The moron writing that blog has a bunch of mistakes where he makes massive assumptions about how things are taught and generalizes them to everyone.

He starts of by saying Peppered Moths are not a good example of natural selection, when it was shown using statistics that the dark moth gene became more prevalent over time as the lichens died and soot became a more beneficial camouflage. The only semi-professional claiming otherwise is Jonathan Wells of the Discovery Institute. Fail!

Major error 2) The scientific method is not flavorless and it doesn't stifle creativity. The very first part of the scientific method is "ask questions, dumbshiate". Right there is a ton of creativity. Then postulating hypothesis through various methods includes massive amounts of creativity. What the fark is the author's issue? He doesn't explain.

Those are just the first couple I picked up, making this nothing more than a typical subby blog posting with absolutely nothing of use because of those major errors.


Major Error 3: Pocahontas married John Rolfe, not John Smith. Disney decided that John Smith was a more fun character for her to marry. Take that, history!
 
2010-09-24 04:20:14 PM  

Lamune_Baba: Apparently part of Franklin's research involved nude, cherub-like boys getting struck by lightning.


How do you fly a kite?
 
2010-09-24 04:22:14 PM  
You can't get pregnant if it is your first time.
 
2010-09-24 04:22:21 PM  

Torchsong: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls.
10. Helen Keller hid from Nazi oppressors in an attic in Austria. With hyenas.


11. Mr. Reynolds in fourth grade was making it with that new teacher Miss Swasko.
 
2010-09-24 04:24:01 PM  
Anna Leon Owen is a governess who rescus Siam from Slavery and humbled King Mongkut by her tenacity.


Truth: Just go to Wikipedia. More or less. The King and I is a total misrepresentation. King Mongkut modernize Siam, beloved by his people. The story of execution of Tuptim is totally fake. Slaves in Siam is treated BETTER than European servants according to western observers.
 
2010-09-24 04:24:03 PM  
1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls

10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
 
2010-09-24 04:24:56 PM  

ParallelUniverseParking: Party Boy: ParallelUniverseParking: There is some evidence that indicates the story is actually true

I know about Amherst. its exactly what I'm referring to when i say hundreds of years before the first possible use of smallpox as biological warfare.

Amherst is at the 1760s. The population was decimated centuries before this.

So what? My point is simply somebody put one and one together, came up with an idea for crude bio-warfare...and used it. It does not matter how many were killed in the end - using bio warfare against somebody who is inferior to you is just mean.


Not sure what your point is here. The English were in a war against the Indian and their French allies in 1760, but because the indians were 'inferior', they shouldn't have been mean to them?

BTW: "medieval forces" were not that stupid. India and China had not only a rough understanding of the disease, they were even inoculating people in 11th century already. I believe even sooner than that but I'm not sure.

Again, what is your point? Surely if the early explorers were aware of inoculation, they might have tried it regardless of whether they might encounter a native people who had never been exposed. It's not like smallpox was like the hiccups to them.

Party Boy's point is that the early explorers brought smallpox with them and didn't have the awareness that the native americans were overly susceptible. The tribes around plymouth were absolutely devastated by disease that they caught from spanish fishermen and traders a few years before the Pilgrims even showed up.

Of course, knowledge that they were carriers of a disease that would ravage the native population wouldn't have dissuaded the early explorers from arriving anyway, it may have encouraged them.
 
2010-09-24 04:25:33 PM  
It's high in protein and it'll keep your face from getting wrinkles.
 
2010-09-24 04:26:15 PM  
5. The Founding Fathers' religious beliefs

Lie Told


The Founding Fathers were all Christians.

Why It Is a Lie


The Founding Fathers held a wide array of religious beliefs, ranging from Christianity to Deism. Thomas Jefferson rejected the concept of the Trinity and loathed the idea of a national religion. Benjamin Franklin and John Adams were Deists.

Why It Should Change


It is important that the reality of our founding fathers beliefs be understood, but it is most important that the emphasis of the separation of church and state be taught.


A million times THIS!!!
 
2010-09-24 04:26:24 PM  
1) Do what we say or you'll go hell.
2) Sex is sinful.
3) Priests are trustworthy.
4) God gives dispensation if you kill enemies in war.
5) The 10% tithe is better-used by the Church than your poor family.
6) Satan is evil, but I'm the bad guy if I flip off the ground to make the point.
7) The Pope knows best.
8) The Confirmation retreat is not for heavy petting.
9) Girls will get pregnant if you're so much as naked together. Every time.
10) Not going to the public schools saves you from indoctrination.

/Catholic schools
 
2010-09-24 04:26:37 PM  

TheMaskedArmadillo: It will go on your Permanent Record...


Came here to say this.
I was in college before I found out that I should have f'd off a lot more in high school...should have kissed Steve Harvel in the hallway between classes...shoudl have smoked behind the gym...
Dammit dammit dammit
 
2010-09-24 04:27:09 PM  

Gunderson: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls

10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.

14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
 
2010-09-24 04:27:43 PM  
#1. That "evolutionists" believe we evolved from a rock.
#2. That purported transitional fossils are all animals that had birth defects.
#3. That Chinese fishermen had recovered a relatively fresh carcass of a plesiosaur, proving a young earth.
#4. That if UFOs exist, they are demonic in nature.
#5. That if scientists ever tried to build a living organism, it would remain inert, as "only God can provide the spark of life".
#6. Those of other religions unwittingly worship Satan in disguse. We were told this during a tour of a mosque, a synagogue and a Buddhist temple.


(I went to a private Christian school.)

farm5.static.flickr.com
 
2010-09-24 04:28:08 PM  
"These are the best days of your life"
 
2010-09-24 04:28:15 PM  
Ok, I went to Catholic school too, so I'll give my favorite:

Unbaptized babies can't go to Heaven. They go to Limbo. So if you pull a baby from a burning house and you are not sure if it has been baptized, spit in your hand and baptize it yourself so it can get into Heaven. (learned that gem in 7th grade).
 
2010-09-24 04:28:16 PM  

Arxane: That article was written by Jonathan Wells, a creationist/IDer. I wouldn't put too much stock in it. Here's the Talk Origins discussion (new window) about his claims with the peppered moths.


Durr, thanks for that.
 
2010-09-24 04:28:16 PM  

Red Shirt Blues: Gunderson: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls

10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.

15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
 
2010-09-24 04:29:03 PM  
I won't cum in your mouth.
Sorry I came in your mouth.
 
2010-09-24 04:29:14 PM  

TommyymmoT: Hell, I went to Catholic school.

Where do I start?


Um, I went to catholic school, and they didn't teach us any of that nonsense. Well except the moth thing, but as pointed out above it's not false. Maybe your Catholic school sucked, but mine did a good job. In fact when I transfered to public school, I was shocked at what was being taught.

Not a Catholic by the way.
 
2010-09-24 04:29:16 PM  
The Native Americans were an "advanced society living at one with nature and at peace with each other"..

Reality: they routinely destroyed the environment they lived in, frequently engaged in cannibalism, fought wars constantly, and typically never advanced beyond the stone age.
 
2010-09-24 04:29:33 PM  

paj3: Ok, I went to Catholic school too, so I'll give my favorite:

Unbaptized babies can't go to Heaven. They go to Limbo. So if you pull a baby from a burning house and you are not sure if it has been baptized, spit in your hand and baptize it yourself so it can get into Heaven. (learned that gem in 7th grade).


That was retracted a few years ago. Unbaptized babies are now safe to die.
 
2010-09-24 04:30:18 PM  
My 5th grade teacher was an active and passionate member of the John Birch Society. Our social studies lessons may not have been accurate but they were quite interesting and entertaining. Did you know that South Americans still practiced cannibalism in the 1980's? We sure did! She explained how the FARC would kidnap people and take them into the jungle where they would smoke various jungle plants and go into a drug induced murderous frenzy that ended with them eating the hostages alive. She even passed out copies of an article from the National Enquirer as reading material for us.
 
2010-09-24 04:30:53 PM  
Also the Emancipation Proclamation did not free any slaves, because it only purported to free slaves in the states that had broken away from the Union and thus no longer recognized Lincoln's authority as President of the United States.
 
2010-09-24 04:30:54 PM  

TommyymmoT: Hell, I went to Catholic school.

Where do I start?


I went to a Catholic school in small town Illinois in in the early '80s. We were taught things like the old age of the earth, evolution and the (general) truth about the church's history. Even the black marks like the crusades.

The propoganda stuff was limited to religion class (5th-8th grade),Wednesday afternoon mass and a few special assemblies. And our propoganda wasn't that bad, it basically boiled down to "Love God and treat others with respect". The latter being a pretty good plan.

I assume your situation was different, but it's always a double take to see comments like yours considering my own experiences.
 
2010-09-24 04:31:24 PM  

LordZorch: The Native Americans were an "advanced society living at one with nature and at peace with each other"..

Reality: they routinely destroyed the environment they lived in, frequently engaged in cannibalism, fought wars constantly, and typically never advanced beyond the stone age.


source?
 
2010-09-24 04:31:45 PM  

TommyymmoT: Hell, I went to Catholic school.

Where do I start?


I walked into Catholic High School as a Muslim, and walked out 4 years later as an Atheist.
 
2010-09-24 04:31:52 PM  
Pluto is a planet.
 
2010-09-24 04:32:10 PM  

paj3: Unbaptized babies can't go to Heaven. They go to Limbo. So if you pull a baby from a burning house and you are not sure if it has been baptized, spit in your hand and baptize it yourself so it can get into Heaven. (learned that gem in 7th grade).


I think the Catholic church as since clarified that they don't believe babies go to limbo before baptism, and while that belief was popular, it was never official cannon.
 
2010-09-24 04:32:42 PM  

Rawry: Red Shirt Blues: Gunderson: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls

10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.

16. It taste like chicken
 
2010-09-24 04:33:18 PM  
The_Sponge: "There are no such thing as giant squid."

That squeaks by on a technicality. Truly giant squid weren't confirmed until not long ago.

paj3: . They go to Limbo

And just recently the church got rid of limbo.
 
2010-09-24 04:33:30 PM  
11) Ronald Reagan did not completely destroy America from within

/that one's my favorite! :D :|
 
2010-09-24 04:34:24 PM  

Gunderson: 10. Hitler had only one nut


That one was actually true (new window).
 
2010-09-24 04:34:57 PM  

impaler: Catholic church as since clarified


That is not a mistake. I mean for the reader to use a cockney accent.
 
2010-09-24 04:35:07 PM  
I think the mean "hanged."
 
2010-09-24 04:35:07 PM  

barelypassing: LordZorch: The Native Americans were an "advanced society living at one with nature and at peace with each other"..

Reality: they routinely destroyed the environment they lived in, frequently engaged in cannibalism, fought wars constantly, and typically never advanced beyond the stone age.

source?


I know about destroying environment and consistent war. But I'm putting a brake on cannibalism and stone age.
 
2010-09-24 04:35:10 PM  
By the time you get out of high school we will all be on the metric system.
 
2010-09-24 04:35:19 PM  

paj3: Ok, I went to Catholic school too, so I'll give my favorite:

Unbaptized babies can't go to Heaven. They go to Limbo. So if you pull a baby from a burning house and you are not sure if it has been baptized, spit in your hand and baptize it yourself so it can get into Heaven. (learned that gem in 7th grade).


Wow, that's a good one. 7th grade, huh? We stopped getting bs stories by then, probably because they ran out of nuns.

We were told that if you missed weekly mass once and died, you'd go to hell. Unless you went to confession, of course. If you are on our way to church to confess but got hit by a car, you should say an act of contrition on the ground or on way to the hospital in the ambulance. If you are hurt too badly and don't have time to say the full contrition, then just apologize to God and maybe he'll let you into heaven after some time in purgatory. If the tire crushes your head before you can do anything, well, you go to hell.

/actual class discussion with Sr. Grace in 3rd grade.
 
2010-09-24 04:35:21 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Christopher Columbus discovered America.

/but on the plus side he was a genocidal rapist


Came here for this, also.

I've been meaning to get that book "Lies my teachers told me." It'd be a fun and interesting read.

I always hated the "Pluto is the farthest from the Sun" lie. Even ignoring that the poor planetary body has been downgraded, it trades places with Neptune.

I remember a guy's little girl actually getting in trouble for pointing that out in class because "that's not how we teach things here." THAT is the worst problem with lying by teachers; they then punish students even when they're correct because they're not respecting their authoritah.
 
2010-09-24 04:35:32 PM  

homarjr: I walked into Catholic High School as a Muslim, and walked out 4 years later as an Atheist.


Same here. Catholic schools probably produce more atheists per capita than any other institution on earth.
 
2010-09-24 04:36:15 PM  
What? No posts about the author's use of the "irony" in the cherry tree item? Is that reserved for subby/tags?
 
2010-09-24 04:36:19 PM  

TheMaskedArmadillo: I


From experience, responding "Oh no! I'll never get into college now" doesn't go down well.
 
2010-09-24 04:36:33 PM  

Red Shirt Blues: paj3: Ok, I went to Catholic school too, so I'll give my favorite:

Unbaptized babies can't go to Heaven. They go to Limbo. So if you pull a baby from a burning house and you are not sure if it has been baptized, spit in your hand and baptize it yourself so it can get into Heaven. (learned that gem in 7th grade).

That was retracted a few years ago. Unbaptized babies are now safe to die.


I saw that, finally. They haven't retracted Jesus yet though.

Another gem: Father Jerry is a really nice guy. He actually ended up on the front page of the NY Post. The church just kept moving him around so he could find fresh meat. No, I wasn't a victim, but there were some from my school.
 
2010-09-24 04:37:21 PM  
Women use Sex to get Love, Men use Love to get Sex.

/told to us by our health teacher, who was on her third pregnancy.
 
2010-09-24 04:37:28 PM  

thetromboner: Pluto is a planet.


came here to say this and what not.
 
2010-09-24 04:37:30 PM  

cig-mkr: Rawry: Red Shirt Blues: Gunderson: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls

10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken

17. These lists are awesome
 
2010-09-24 04:38:26 PM  

turtleking: cig-mkr: Rawry: Red Shirt Blues: Gunderson: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome

19. There is a number 18.
 
2010-09-24 04:38:47 PM  
These are the best days of your life.
 
2010-09-24 04:39:04 PM  
For the most part, those are allegory or metaphor...a better plan would be to teach children the difference between that and history.
 
2010-09-24 04:39:14 PM  
I'm not having sex with Mr. Gymteacher and you, really it's only you.
 
2010-09-24 04:39:24 PM  
The NAACP was founded by CPs.
 
2010-09-24 04:39:35 PM  

turtleking: cig-mkr: Rawry: Red Shirt Blues: Gunderson: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls

10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome

18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
 
2010-09-24 04:39:53 PM  

Jster422: Women use Sex to get Love, Men use Love to get Sex.


Wait a second, that's a myth?
 
2010-09-24 04:40:34 PM  
Anyone notice that the recommendations in the article seem really random and inconsistent? Some of them he thinks should change because they make nice stories, but others (that are nice stories) he thinks should change because it's bete for kids to know the truth.

Personally, I don't think teachers or doctors should ever lie to their students/patients. Simplifying something complicated to make it more simple to understand is fine.

I always get annoyed with eye doctors who tell me the light will "get close to my eye" when I know it's going to touch my eye.
 
2010-09-24 04:41:24 PM  

WhyteRaven74: The_Sponge: "There are no such thing as giant squid."

That squeaks by on a technicality. Truly giant squid weren't confirmed until not long ago.

paj3: . They go to Limbo

And just recently the church got rid of limbo.


Damnit. I used to like to watch them do the limbo.
 
2010-09-24 04:41:37 PM  
FTA: witches were hung if they managed to survive death row.

img714.imageshack.us

"...they said you was hung!"

"And they was right!"

/hanged: learn it, live it, love it
 
2010-09-24 04:41:50 PM  
Said aloud in front of the class- "Timmy you're a sweet little boy but I'm too old for you..."

Whispered secretly into Timmy's ear- "Meet me at the park at 4 o'clock and we will go to my house for a creamy delicious treat!"
 
2010-09-24 04:41:58 PM  

Podmore: I always get annoyed with eye doctors who tell me the light will "get close to my eye" when I know it's going to touch my eye.


I always get annoyed when my doctor tells me his fingers will "get close" to my anus.
 
2010-09-24 04:44:13 PM  
The Nazis caught Helen Keller because her dad gave her a drum set for her birthday.
 
2010-09-24 04:44:42 PM  
'No' means 'maybe.'
 
2010-09-24 04:45:06 PM  
If you know anything about anyone doing drugs, you should turn them in to the police.
 
2010-09-24 04:47:03 PM  
If you know anyone doing police, you should turn them into drugs.
 
2010-09-24 04:47:30 PM  

WhyteRaven74


paj3: . They go to Limbo

And just recently the church got rid of limbo.


Since the lambada became "the forbidden dance" it's all been downhill.
 
2010-09-24 04:49:09 PM  
The police are your friends, and they have this cool game where you get to play with pads of ink and sheets of paper!
Don't tell your parents.
 
2010-09-24 04:49:34 PM  
Timmy I need your help in the supply closet. I need an extra hand passing out the workbooks...
 
2010-09-24 04:49:57 PM  

JRoo: If you know anything about anyone doing drugs, you should turn them in to the police.


No way!? They did drugs???

www.soulbounce.com
 
2010-09-24 04:50:08 PM  

Lampmonster: If you know anyone doing police, you should turn them into drugs.


If the police know drugs, they should turn them into you.
 
2010-09-24 04:51:59 PM  

Rapmaster2000: It's high in protein and it'll keep your face from getting wrinkles.



It is good for your complection, though. ;) So that isn't really a myth.


yes, speaking from experience :)
 
2010-09-24 04:51:59 PM  
#8 always kills me. If scientific advancement were that simple, someone would have developed a computer program to do it for us a long, long time ago.

Quasar: 12) You need to learn ________ (calculus, etc) for your future


Motherf*ckin cursive. I was made to believe that if I didn't master the art of loopy, incomprehensible script, I'd spend my adult years straining rubbing alcohol through pieces of burnt toast behind Zelda's Diner and giving hand-jobs for scrap meat because I'd be completely unemployable. Besides my signature, I've had to use cursive ONCE since learning it in elementary school.
 
2010-09-24 04:52:06 PM  
"I know you're one of the little bastards that egged my house and I'm going to prove it if it's the last thing I do!"
 
2010-09-24 04:52:41 PM  
You'll get paid a lot more if you get a masters.
 
2010-09-24 04:53:00 PM  
11. "You can be whatEVER you want to be when you grow up."
 
2010-09-24 04:53:39 PM  
"The Frogs do not feel pain."
 
2010-09-24 04:54:09 PM  
Lie told:
Asians have small dicks

The truth:
Asian have small dicks

Why this shouldn't change:
To ensure American children (non-asian) garner a sense of superiority to the yellow people.
 
2010-09-24 04:54:34 PM  

Debeo Summa Credo: paj3: Ok, I went to Catholic school too, so I'll give my favorite:

We were told that if you missed weekly mass once and died, you'd go to hell. Unless you went to confession, of course. If you are on our way to church to confess but got hit by a car, you should say an act of contrition on the ground or on way to the hospital in the ambulance. If you are hurt too badly and don't have time to say the full contrition, then just apologize to God and maybe he'll let you into heaven after some time in purgatory. If the tire crushes your head before you can do anything, well, you go to hell.

/actual class discussion with Sr. Grace in 3rd grade.


Fascinating. So, did you ask why a week is so special? Why does it have to be weekly mass, and not daily, or bi-monthly? Do the midi-chlorians leak out of your body over the course of a week?

What if you fly on a space ship to a planet that has a day longer than 24 hours? Do you have to go to mass less often, or is the week based on an earth week?
 
2010-09-24 04:54:38 PM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: I'd spend my adult years straining rubbing alcohol through pieces of burnt toast behind Zelda's Diner and giving hand-jobs for scrap meat


Interestingly enough, this is what I did instead of going to college. Now I realize it was all because I failed cursive handwriting.
 
2010-09-24 04:54:57 PM  
That article was so infuriatingly stupid that I now find myself more infuriateder than I have ever been infuriated.
 
2010-09-24 04:55:17 PM  
History is a series of lies we agree on.
 
2010-09-24 04:56:12 PM  

Masso: barelypassing: LordZorch: The Native Americans were an "advanced society living at one with nature and at peace with each other"..

Reality: they routinely destroyed the environment they lived in, frequently engaged in cannibalism, fought wars constantly, and typically never advanced beyond the stone age.

source?

I know about destroying environment and consistent war. But I'm putting a brake on cannibalism and stone age.


I can't speak one way or the other about cannablism

The American Indian as a technological culture plateaued somewhere between inventing fire but not quite inventing the wheel. All their tools prior to contact with the Europeans (the earliest being the Spanish) were simple stone axes, arrowheads and mortar/pestle. All other materials were animal bone, sinew and skins. There was no written language not even pictographs until AFTER the Indians observed Europeans doing these things. Ditto with metal tools.

They were NOT intellectually incapable of abstract concepts like writing and math but sometime loooong ago as a people they chose to abandon or simply never begin that path in human development. When confronted with a people that had advanced technology they, as a culture, were wiped out.

/Pick up the book "Guns, Germs and Steel" for a more thorough explanation
 
2010-09-24 04:56:43 PM  

canyoneer: What a lame list. Primary education is one long propaganda broadcast, and the "top ten" here are among the most innocuous of the lies.


I, too, remember the self-serving propaganda forced down my throat by the pro-phonetics movement, those assholes with their absurd "arithmetic", and don't even get me started on the whole idea of "reading."
 
2010-09-24 04:57:07 PM  

Vanetia: I always hated the "Pluto is the farthest from the Sun" lie. Even ignoring that the poor planetary body has been downgraded, it trades places with Neptune.

I remember a guy's little girl actually getting in trouble for pointing that out in class because "that's not how we teach things here." THAT is the worst problem with lying by teachers; they then punish students even when they're correct because they're not respecting their authoritah.


My sister was chastised by her history teacher when she asked about the "triangle" part of the slave trade. Africa's tribal involvement was completely retconned out of their year's printing of the history books when she was in school. It was all just evil white men invading to capture the negros.
 
2010-09-24 04:59:26 PM  
"I didnt become a teacher in order to get summers off".
 
2010-09-24 05:00:41 PM  
Speaking foreign languages is the key to the future.
Knowledge of english literature is really important.

/if you mean JavaScript, maybe
//cannot beleive I wasted 5 years trying to learn French and reading boring novels and plays no one cares about
 
2010-09-24 05:00:53 PM  
1. We've moved on from racism.

2. Get a degree, you'll be set for a job.

3. America will dominate for another 200 years.

4. (saw this fall apart a year later) The Cold War is a neverending cycle.

5. German unification scares me.

6. America is a classless society. (Right in one definition, but not the one she was reaching for. And this was coming from a Brit expat English teacher)
 
2010-09-24 05:02:54 PM  
One Bad Apple: There was no written language not even pictographs until AFTER the Indians observed Europeans doing these things. Ditto with metal tools.

The Maya and Aztecs would like a word...
 
2010-09-24 05:03:29 PM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: #8 always kills me. If scientific advancement were that simple, someone would have developed a computer program to do it for us a long, long time ago.

Quasar: 12) You need to learn ________ (calculus, etc) for your future

Motherf*ckin cursive. I was made to believe that if I didn't master the art of loopy, incomprehensible script, I'd spend my adult years straining rubbing alcohol through pieces of burnt toast behind Zelda's Diner and giving hand-jobs for scrap meat because I'd be completely unemployable. Besides my signature, I've had to use cursive ONCE since learning it in elementary school.


So you just chose to spend your adult years straining rubbing alcohol through pieces of burnt toast behind Zelda's Diner and giving hand-jobs for scrap meat? Way to stick it to the man. Maybe if you had used cursive more often, you'd have gotten a real job.

/stupid hooker hobos
//how much you charge?
 
2010-09-24 05:03:37 PM  
I was told in the fourth grade that water is the only liquid in existence. I asked about oil, and was told "it's the water in it that makes it a liquid".

My mother took a course for certification as an occupational therapist, and got a test question wrong for marking light and ultrasound therapy as separate. The teacher responded "light and sound are the same thing".
 
2010-09-24 05:04:27 PM  
Whole language reading and creative spelling are the new standards.
 
2010-09-24 05:04:42 PM  

redmid17: So you just chose to spend your adult years straining rubbing alcohol through pieces of burnt toast behind Zelda's Diner and giving hand-jobs for scrap meat?


Yeah, but I don't have to do it. That's the difference.
 
2010-09-24 05:06:18 PM  

Debeo Summa Credo: ParallelUniverseParking: Party Boy: ParallelUniverseParking: There is some evidence that indicates the story is actually true

I know about Amherst. its exactly what I'm referring to when i say hundreds of years before the first possible use of smallpox as biological warfare.

Amherst is at the 1760s. The population was decimated centuries before this.

So what? My point is simply somebody put one and one together, came up with an idea for crude bio-warfare...and used it. It does not matter how many were killed in the end - using bio warfare against somebody who is inferior to you is just mean.

Not sure what your point is here. The English were in a war against the Indian and their French allies in 1760, but because the indians were 'inferior', they shouldn't have been mean to them?

BTW: "medieval forces" were not that stupid. India and China had not only a rough understanding of the disease, they were even inoculating people in 11th century already. I believe even sooner than that but I'm not sure.

Again, what is your point? Surely if the early explorers were aware of inoculation, they might have tried it regardless of whether they might encounter a native people who had never been exposed. It's not like smallpox was like the hiccups to them.

Party Boy's point is that the early explorers brought smallpox with them and didn't have the awareness that the native americans were overly susceptible. The tribes around plymouth were absolutely devastated by disease that they caught from spanish fishermen and traders a few years before the Pilgrims even showed up.

Of course, knowledge that they were carriers of a disease that would ravage the native population wouldn't have dissuaded the early explorers from arriving anyway, it may have encouraged them.


My point is only this one: yes, settlers brought diseases with them that devastated tribes. Yes, they didn't do that on purpose at first. But apparently later they actually figured it out and used that knowledge to kill natives. The majority might not have been killed by this crude 'bio-warfarish' method maybe just a fraction...it is still atrocious to do that.

It's not like smallpox was like the hiccups to them.
True, but I believe I read somewhere that even simple chicken pox had a similar devastating effect on natives. Everything you never got in contact with before can be a real challenge for an immune system, I guess. I assume the fact that Europeans were farmers and were used to live with their animals 'under one roof' must have had an impact too.
 
2010-09-24 05:06:37 PM  

WhyteRaven74: One Bad Apple: There was no written language not even pictographs until AFTER the Indians observed Europeans doing these things. Ditto with metal tools.

The Maya and Aztecs would like a word...


I think you missed the part where he said American Indians. I realize that South America is part of the Americas, but generally people just refer to the as the Maya or Aztec or Inca. I'm not intimately familiar with American Indians, but I believe the Anasazi (or Pueblo people or whatever) exceeded what he was describing in some fashions too.
 
2010-09-24 05:06:45 PM  
When I was in junior high, the teachers used to say "you guys better get used to taking better notes, they won't be using overhead projectors in high school, you'll just have to listen to the lecture and write it down". Then when we got to high school, they all used overhead projectors. And HS teachers said the same thing about college, but when I got to college, most professors there used the overhead as well.
 
2010-09-24 05:07:02 PM  

barelypassing: LordZorch: The Native Americans were an "advanced society living at one with nature and at peace with each other"..

Reality: they routinely destroyed the environment they lived in, frequently engaged in cannibalism, fought wars constantly, and typically never advanced beyond the stone age.

source?


You might try any number of history texts concerning pre-Columbian history and technology. None of it is in dispute, though it is frequently glossed over.
 
2010-09-24 05:07:03 PM  

4chan Ambassador: Arxane: That article was written by Jonathan Wells, a creationist/IDer. I wouldn't put too much stock in it. Here's the Talk Origins discussion (new window) about his claims with the peppered moths.

Durr, thanks for that.


For anyone else who's interested:

Majerus, M.E.N. (2009): Industrial Melanism in the Peppered Moth, Biston betularia: An Excellent Teaching Example of Darwinian Evolution in Action. Evolution: Education and Outreach, 2, 1, 63-74, doi:10.1007/s12052-008-0107-y

ABSRTRACT: The case of industrial melanism in the peppered moth has been used as a teaching example of Darwinian natural selection in action for half a century. However, over the last decade, this case has come under attack from those who oppose Darwinian evolution. Here, the main elements of the case are outlined and the reasons that the peppered moth case became the most cited example of Darwinian evolution in action are described. Four categories of criticism of the case are then evaluated. Criticisms of experimental work in the 1950s that centered on lack of knowledge of the behavior and ecology of the moth, poor experimental procedure, or artificiality in experiments have been addressed in subsequent work. Some criticisms of the work are shown to be the result of lack of understanding of evolutionary genetics and ecological entomology on the part of the critics. Accusations of data fudging and scientific fraud in the case are found to be vacuous. The conclusion from this analysis of criticisms of the case is that industrial melanism in the peppered moth is still one of the clearest and most easily understood examples of Darwinian evolution in action and that it should be taught as such in biology classes.
 
2010-09-24 05:08:16 PM  

thetromboner: Pluto is a planet.


IT'S STILL A PLANET TO ME, DAMMIT!
 
2010-09-24 05:08:45 PM  
(Some Other Guy) img1.fark.net More lies your teachers will soon be telling your kids in school
 
2010-09-24 05:09:17 PM  

Diogenes: "You're the best I've ever had."


She told you that too?! That lying biatch!
 
2010-09-24 05:09:28 PM  

AnotherBluesStringer: The Nazis caught Helen Keller because her dad gave her a drum set for her birthday.


Thanks a lot. Now I'm going to Hell for laughing loudly at that.
 
2010-09-24 05:10:03 PM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: redmid17: So you just chose to spend your adult years straining rubbing alcohol through pieces of burnt toast behind Zelda's Diner and giving hand-jobs for scrap meat?

Yeah, but I don't have to do it. That's the difference.


At least you're putting that science degree to good use.
 
2010-09-24 05:10:09 PM  

WhyteRaven74: One Bad Apple: There was no written language not even pictographs until AFTER the Indians observed Europeans doing these things. Ditto with metal tools.

The Maya and Aztecs would like a word...


Would that word be "extinct" ?
 
2010-09-24 05:10:31 PM  

Rawry: turtleking: cig-mkr: Rawry: Red Shirt Blues: Gunderson: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
19. There is a number 18.

20. There are four lights!
 
Ehh
2010-09-24 05:11:18 PM  
1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls

10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
 
2010-09-24 05:12:01 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Christopher Columbus discovered America.


"Everybody believed that the Earth was flat until Columbus proved it was round."
 
2010-09-24 05:13:18 PM  
Oh, another one I was taught: Vietnam fell to communism because they wouldn't convert to Catholicism, and the monk that immolated himself was simply demonstrating that Satan's faithful have no fear of fire, since they all know they're going to hell anyway.

Even as a kid, I was like...wha-huh?

The brother that promulgated that bit about the monk was sent out to pasture a few years later.
 
2010-09-24 05:14:38 PM  

Vanetia: Marcus Aurelius: Christopher Columbus discovered America.

/but on the plus side he was a genocidal rapist

Came here for this, also.

I've been meaning to get that book "Lies my teachers told me." It'd be a fun and interesting read.

I always hated the "Pluto is the farthest from the Sun" lie. Even ignoring that the poor planetary body has been downgraded, it trades places with Neptune.

I remember a guy's little girl actually getting in trouble for pointing that out in class because "that's not how we teach things here." THAT is the worst problem with lying by teachers; they then punish students even when they're correct because they're not respecting their authoritah.


Had the same thing in seventh grade Ohio History. Our text said that Marietta was the first settlement in the Ohio Territory. It was not- Martins Ferry, about 75 miles upriver, was. Marietta was the first incorporated settlement, but there is written record of settlement in Martins Ferry a decade before Marietta.

Got thrown out of class for that one.

Number whatever) That anyone will ever care about your "permanent record" after you graduate
Number whatever +1) The SAT/ACT matters after college
 
2010-09-24 05:14:43 PM  

TheMaskedArmadillo: It will go on your Permanent Record...


Oh yeah?
 
2010-09-24 05:15:29 PM  
"Science and religion are inherently in conflict."
 
2010-09-24 05:18:31 PM  

Zamboro: #1. That "evolutionists" believe we evolved from a rock.
#2. That purported transitional fossils are all animals that had birth defects.
#3. That Chinese fishermen had recovered a relatively fresh carcass of a plesiosaur, proving a young earth.
#4. That if UFOs exist, they are demonic in nature.
#5. That if scientists ever tried to build a living organism, it would remain inert, as "only God can provide the spark of life".
#6. Those of other religions unwittingly worship Satan in disguse. We were told this during a tour of a mosque, a synagogue and a Buddhist temple.


(I went to a private Christian school.)


Seventh Day Adventist?
 
2010-09-24 05:20:02 PM  
I want my 2 minutes back.
 
2010-09-24 05:22:14 PM  

Ehh: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls

10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.

20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon
 
2010-09-24 05:22:20 PM  
Weed is a gateway drug. Biggest lie ever.
 
2010-09-24 05:23:11 PM  

redmid17: I realize that South America is part of the Americas, but generally people just refer to the as the Maya or Aztec or Inca.


The Maya and Aztec are from different regions of Mexico. While you may not like "dirty brown people", they are still from the same continent as "american indians".
 
2010-09-24 05:24:40 PM  
Columbus set out to prove the Earth was round
 
2010-09-24 05:26:37 PM  
How about "do what you like and the money will follow"?
 
2010-09-24 05:27:24 PM  
Abraham Lincolin abolished slavery / The Emancipation Proclomation freed the slaves.

/High School history teacher
//getting a kick
 
2010-09-24 05:27:59 PM  
While we're debunking stuff...

Statement: Before modern times, the average person never went X number of miles away from home.

The Facts: Besides that all of our ancestors were nomad hunter-gatherers who traveled over huge distances over the course of their yearly round and that humans were doing this for 100,000 years, the statement is really using the 19th Century as a surrogate for all history. True people did settle down quite a bit after agriculture came to where they lived in various incarnations of a regional neolithic, but this doesn't mean that they were confined to their home regions. Then, as now, they had armies, fishermen, hunters, foresters, herders, traders, refugees, still more nomads, people chasing gold and silver strikes, boat people, the exiled, invaders, slaves, priests and just about every other individual or person in any ancient society did actually go lots of places that were "farther than a few miles from home". In fact, its not possible for all surviving children to live off of an agricultural plot so the others are naturally expected to be neolocal when they come of age. All societies have rules for this dispersion of people.

It wasn't until the 19th Century that people HAD to stay in one place, with the invention of the factory. Even then, thousands of people moved from the country to the city to get those jobs, and thousands similarly emigrated away from their home countries to pursue a livelihood.

I don't know why this type of thing persists because logically it can't possibly be true.
 
2010-09-24 05:28:59 PM  
Figured someone else would post this but here it is:

www.shipmentoffail.com
 
2010-09-24 05:32:04 PM  
The thanksgiving one seems strange:

TFA:Lie Told

The Native Americans and Pilgrims had a potluck dinner/lovefest filled with fat turkeys and corn. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Why It Is a Lie

The entire story is a romanticized version of history. While the Pilgrims and Native Americans did break bread many times, it was never a tradition or annual occurrence.

Why It Should Change

Learning the reality of the relationship between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans would give students a better historical insight into the foundations of America, and the impact of our arrival here on the Native American way of life.


...so, the fundamental bit about how "the Pilgrims and Native Americans did break bread many times" is deemed to be correct, but the story should change because it wasn't "annual" or "traditional" at the time?

If we accept the statements of fact that the author makes (which is a whole different question), then I can't follow his/her reasoning. As presented, the store is more correct than many of the others that he/she presents and would like to stay as-is.
 
2010-09-24 05:34:02 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Christopher Columbus discovered America.

/but on the plus side he was a genocidal rapist


Yeah, am surprised that one was absent. Why it should Change: Christopher Columbus was a horrible man, and plenty of people discovered North America before him.

Not to mention it goes hand in hand with the other lie, that they thought the world was round at that time. Its what I was taught in school, that they thought they were going to fall off the Earth. Bah. :P
 
2010-09-24 05:34:06 PM  

ScouserDuck: Abraham Lincolin abolished slavery / The Emancipation Proclomation freed the slaves.

/High School history teacher
//getting a kick


Abraham Lincoln abolished slavery / The Emancipation Proclamation freed the slaves.

/Turning in my final draft
//FTFM
 
2010-09-24 05:35:12 PM  
i56.tinypic.com
 
2010-09-24 05:36:22 PM  

Oznog: Ehh: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls

10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon


23. There will be cake.
 
2010-09-24 05:36:31 PM  

NutWrench: That we live in a democracy.


We do, just a representative democracy, yes yes, we know the United States is a Republic. Well, I would hope so.
 
2010-09-24 05:37:59 PM  
This will go down on your Permanent Record.
 
2010-09-24 05:38:59 PM  

Red Shirt Blues: paj3: Ok, I went to Catholic school too, so I'll give my favorite:

Unbaptized babies can't go to Heaven. They go to Limbo. So if you pull a baby from a burning house and you are not sure if it has been baptized, spit in your hand and baptize it yourself so it can get into Heaven. (learned that gem in 7th grade).

That was retracted a few years ago. Unbaptized babies are now safe to die.


"They say the Church might eliminate Limbo. You know, that place where unbaptized babies go? Geez, I hope they put them in Heaven or something. Hate to think of all those babies just floating around in space for all eternity."
 
2010-09-24 05:39:15 PM  
5th grade I was told that Texas was the largest state. This was in the 80's in the Florida public school system.
 
2010-09-24 05:39:41 PM  

bbfreak: Marcus Aurelius: Christopher Columbus discovered America.

/but on the plus side he was a genocidal rapist

Yeah, am surprised that one was absent. Why it should Change: Christopher Columbus was a horrible man, and plenty of people discovered North America before him.

Not to mention it goes hand in hand with the other lie, that they thought the world was round at that time. Its what I was taught in school, that they thought they were going to fall off the Earth. Bah. :P



Indeed. As I understand it, Columbus was an incarnation of Satan, with who kills men by the hundreds. If he were here today, he'd consume the natives with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his ass.

/Columbus was aware of at least 1 (fairly accurate) measure of the diameter of the planet, and more than one measurement had been made at that time ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spherical_Earth )
 
2010-09-24 05:40:19 PM  

Son of Thunder: thetromboner: Pluto is a planet.

IT'S STILL A PLANET TO ME, DAMMIT!


Hey it still has planet in categorization! That's something! Dwarf planet! Just think of Pluto as the 8th Dwarf in Snow White!
 
2010-09-24 05:41:13 PM  

Ehh: 14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.


If they aren't safe, how many people have been killed by American civilian nuclear power reactors?

/my count is 0
 
2010-09-24 05:41:27 PM  
Why It Shouldn't Change

Middle school students don't really need to grasp the complexities of natural selection. Further explanation in later grade levels builds on this basic, but not complete concept.


Bullshiat. Lying to kids at school is never acceptable and natural selection is NOT that farking complicated.
 
2010-09-24 05:46:31 PM  
I remember having textbooks talking about the possibility of man landing on the moon.

/Early 80's Eastern Washington public schools baby!
 
2010-09-24 05:47:35 PM  
"Our fundraiser will allow us to buy new gym equipment for our high school."

I went to a catholic high school. Every year, we would have a fundraiser walk to earn money so that the school could buy new things.

One year, the target was gym equipment. If you got sponsers and walked, you spent a day out of school and no homework for the day, walking along the lake and earning money per mile walked. If you decided not to participate, you stayed at school for the whole day doing homework and staring out the windows.

It turned out that the money collected (if memory serves it was around $30,000) was not used for new gym equipment but instead for refurbishing the priests' rectory (new wood paneling, new kitchen, new televisions, mini-bar, etc.).

I just love getting the alumni letters from my old high school asking for donations. My paper shredder just loves those letters.
 
2010-09-24 05:48:29 PM  

Barakku: Why It Shouldn't Change

Middle school students don't really need to grasp the complexities of natural selection. Further explanation in later grade levels builds on this basic, but not complete concept.

Bullshiat. Lying to kids at school is never acceptable and natural selection is NOT that farking complicated.


I agree.

The argument presented in the TFA is strangely similar to the arguments I've seen Fark Athiests™ make against organized religion: lie to your kids early so they accept it as true when they're adults. (IE: Santa and the Easter bunny.)

So it's strange to see someone say that lying to kids is ok as long as it promotes natural selection.
 
2010-09-24 05:49:00 PM  

Rann Xerox: "Our fundraiser will allow us to buy new gym equipment for our high school."

I went to a catholic high school. Every year, we would have a fundraiser walk to earn money so that the school could buy new things.

One year, the target was gym equipment. If you got sponsers and walked, you spent a day out of school and no homework for the day, walking along the lake and earning money per mile walked. If you decided not to participate, you stayed at school for the whole day doing homework and staring out the windows.

It turned out that the money collected (if memory serves it was around $30,000) was not used for new gym equipment but instead for refurbishing the priests' rectory (new wood paneling, new kitchen, new televisions, mini-bar, etc.).

I just love getting the alumni letters from my old high school asking for donations. My paper shredder just loves those letters.


I see where you might have been confused. It was for Father Jim's equipment.
 
2010-09-24 05:49:37 PM  
Rann Xerox: walking along the lake and earning money per mile walked. If you decided not to participate, you stayed at school for the whole day doing homework and staring out the windows.

My high school had a similar sounding walk each year. But participation wasn't optional. Everyone walked. Save for the cross country teams which had meets the day after every year.
 
2010-09-24 05:51:15 PM  
"You won't be allowed to use a pencil in middle school."
"You won't be allowed to use a pencil in high school."
"You won't be allowed to use a pencil in college."
 
2010-09-24 05:51:17 PM  
In 1st grade I was taught that pigs were extremely unhealthy and dangerous to eat.

In 3rd grade I was taught that the only time you can balance an egg on its end was on the equinox.

In 5th grade I was taught that the ark had recently been discovered on Mt. Ararat and there was a fancy new documentary to prove it.

In 6th grade I was taught that the bible is the unerring word of god.

In 7th grade I was taught that dinosaur bones were placed on earth by god as a test of our faith.

In 8th grade I was taught that the Jewish people have a divine right to the land of Israel and everyone else should just scoot off.

In 9th grade I was taught that there was an unbroken verbal chain of instructions passed down for over 1000 years with no errors introduced.

In 10th grade I was taught that geological strata can't be trusted as age markers because everything got moved around in the flood.

In 11th grade I was taught that homosexuals need to control their urges just like rapists.

yeah, this guy didn't even get close to the top 10 lies.
 
2010-09-24 05:52:38 PM  
The list is flawed without global warming on it.
 
2010-09-24 05:53:30 PM  
James Loewen is awesome. A great author who also wrote "Sundown Towns"
 
2010-09-24 05:55:06 PM  

Ringtailed79: TommyymmoT: Hell, I went to Catholic school.

Where do I start?

I went to a Catholic school in small town Illinois in in the early '80s. We were taught things like the old age of the earth, evolution and the (general) truth about the church's history. Even the black marks like the crusades.

The propoganda stuff was limited to religion class (5th-8th grade),Wednesday afternoon mass and a few special assemblies. And our propoganda wasn't that bad, it basically boiled down to "Love God and treat others with respect". The latter being a pretty good plan.

I assume your situation was different, but it's always a double take to see comments like yours considering my own experiences.


Same here. Kansas, except mass every day sans monday and rel. class 1-12 (high school class actually taught about other religions).
 
2010-09-24 05:57:08 PM  
Forgot to mention, at least the walks at my high school had decent names each year. Best was the year when it was Walk On the Wild Side, and yes the theme song was the Lou Reed song. I've had a few people be all surprised by this given it was a Catholic school. The Jesuits though, can be quite laid back.
 
2010-09-24 05:58:00 PM  

Scottathon: "You won't be allowed to use a pencil in middle school."
"You won't be allowed to use a pencil in high school."
"You won't be allowed to use a pencil in college."


well done
 
2010-09-24 05:58:45 PM  
slumus lordicus: mass every day sans monday

Jesus christ. I went to Catholic school for 13 years and never had mass every day. In grade school from second through eighth grade it was once a week. In high school it was only a handful of school masses each year.
 
2010-09-24 05:58:45 PM  

Vanetia: Figured someone else would post this but here it is:


Whoa, that's terrifying.
 
2010-09-24 06:00:14 PM  

lockers: redmid17: I realize that South America is part of the Americas, but generally people just refer to the as the Maya or Aztec or Inca.

The Maya and Aztec are from different regions of Mexico. While you may not like "dirty brown people", they are still from the same continent as "american indians".


Yes I clearly dislike dirty brown people and only clarified my stance on American Indians because no one else holds that opinion (LIKE THE US CENSUS). It's even on page one for lazy people who don't know how to use ctrl+f.

That's also aside from the fact that the OP was referring to Indians found in what is now the US and Canada. Anyone who has spent more than 2 days in school knows that the Aztec, Inca, and Mayans had writing and science. Hell I think that's 95% of the apocalyptic content on the History Channel.
 
2010-09-24 06:00:18 PM  
When you are older, you will miss these days...
 
2010-09-24 06:02:13 PM  

WhyteRaven74: He was wrong about van Gogh. Van Gogh never cut off his ear or had his ear cut off. It was part of the ear lobe and van Gogh did the cutting himself.


4chan Ambassador: Er, yeah, citation needed on a lot of these. Van Gogh didn't lose his ear in a fight,


The guy is basing it on this claim^, which has not been generally accepted.
 
2010-09-24 06:05:02 PM  
it was all pretty much true. times change.
 
2010-09-24 06:08:17 PM  
I remember a mistake taught in my social studies/civics class.

In Michigan, you have to be a registered Democrat or Republican to vote.

Truth: Only in the primaries.
 
2010-09-24 06:08:44 PM  

JNowe: Oznog: Ehh: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon
23. There will be cake.


24. There will be no math.
 
2010-09-24 06:12:08 PM  

WhyteRaven74: slumus lordicus: mass every day sans monday

Jesus christ. I went to Catholic school for 13 years and never had mass every day. In grade school from second through eighth grade it was once a week. In high school it was only a handful of school masses each year.


Only go go on the two important days now. figured that I have a stockpile of mass goings. i will have to start going more regularly since I have a kid entering kindergarten soon to be bumped up the waiting list.

/ still know all the hymnals by heart
// brother and friends start singing them on float trips after a few beers (don't tell me you wouldn't do the same with a bunch of other drunk cath. grade school grads)
 
2010-09-24 06:13:24 PM  
Scientific method? Really? I mean we all know social science is total BS but don't knock the "hard" sciences.
 
2010-09-24 06:14:50 PM  
A grasp of the scientific method, in its fundamental principles, is essential as a part of understanding how science works. It's a shame that they don't teach it any more widely, and a shame that it would not be much more widely understood for its real relevance throughout human experience - the relevance of real scientific method, not only in laboratories.

That they're teaching about it, at all, that should certainly not disappear. If anything should change, about it, educators should emphasize it, much more, and require a demonstration of an understanding of the scientific method, as a matter of demonstrating core competence as a student whatsoever of the sciences.

Any science teacher in any public school should be required to demonstrate a substantial understanding of the method, in its forms, and the essential principles in the same - such as: That a hypothesis, to be valid as a hypothesis, must be formed in such a way as that it would be fallible - as in, able to be disproved, if observations made in an actual experiment would not support it, or proved, if and only if observations made in an actual experiment clearly would support it.

Without an understanding of scientific method, the rest of science is mere information.
 
2010-09-24 06:15:34 PM  
What an absolute crock. The worst mistake is the fatuous statement that lies don't need to be corrected.

No witches were burned at Salem. Capital punishment is certainly wrong in that instance, but it is different from the torture of burning. Why is it OK to lie about it?
 
2010-09-24 06:18:30 PM  
I'm not going to read the whole thread to see if this has been covered, but...

George Washington and the Cherry Tree? C'mon, that has to be the most thoroughly debunked story in American history. No one believes this. Take it away, Grant Wood:

Parson Weems' Fable (new window)

The Native Americans and Pilgrims had a potluck dinner/lovefest filled with fat turkeys and corn. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Again, nobody believes this. They believe the Pilgrims and the Indians had a meal together. Which is true.
 
2010-09-24 06:18:46 PM  
I love you too.
 
2010-09-24 06:20:02 PM  
If you take LSD you will mistakenly believe that you can fly and jump off of tall buildings.

The guy with the withered arm that came to the school assembly had his arm petrify after shooting heroin

(Teacher) Remember the guy with the petrified arm that was here two weeks ago?
(Us) Yeah?
(Teacher) It fell off yesterday.
Somehow it always grew back before the next year, though.
 
2010-09-24 06:20:54 PM  
Oh god, no, please don't bring the scientific method into question.
I thought we all knew it was rigid and flawless, as explained in many Fark threads.
 
2010-09-24 06:24:36 PM  

keypusher: I'm not going to read the whole thread to see if this has been covered, but...

George Washington and the Cherry Tree? C'mon, that has to be the most thoroughly debunked story in American history. No one believes this. Take it away, Grant Wood:

Parson Weems' Fable (new window)

The Native Americans and Pilgrims had a potluck dinner/lovefest filled with fat turkeys and corn. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Again, nobody believes this. They believe the Pilgrims and the Indians had a meal together. Which is true.


Children do. Then they grow up.
 
2010-09-24 06:24:58 PM  
Newton and the Apple

Lie Told

Isaac Newton discovered the law of gravity when an apple fell on his head.

Why It Is a Lie

This story was never mentioned by Newton. It didn't come into existence until around sixty years after it allegedly happened. The lie was first told by John Conduitt, who was most likely using the apple as a literary device. The part about the apple viciously attacking Newton's noggin was added later.

Why It Shouldn't Change

It gives children hope that one day they could have that "lightbulb moment" just like one of mankind's geniuses.


So, we should lie to the children?
 
2010-09-24 06:25:41 PM  
If you have sex, no matter what precautions you take, you'll probably get AIDS.

If you so much as even look at or touch "drugs" (they were always some type of nebulous pills) then you'll die.

No college will accept you unless you get straight As and have never been in trouble.

I echo the comments someone made on cursive writing. In 3rd grade we had to learn it and it seemed so pointless and indecipherable to me that I promptly forgot it the next year. Then sometime around 8th grade I had an english teacher who made us write all of our papers in cursive. She didn't believe me when I said I'd forgotten how to do it and that I'd never had a teacher who made me use it before, but eventually relented to allowing typed papers.
 
2010-09-24 06:26:49 PM  

meat0918: keypusher: I'm not going to read the whole thread to see if this has been covered, but...

George Washington and the Cherry Tree? C'mon, that has to be the most thoroughly debunked story in American history. No one believes this. Take it away, Grant Wood:

Parson Weems' Fable (new window)

The Native Americans and Pilgrims had a potluck dinner/lovefest filled with fat turkeys and corn. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Again, nobody believes this. They believe the Pilgrims and the Indians had a meal together. Which is true.

Children do. Then they grow up.


Nope, I have a child, and I know many other children. If there is one thing children are not being taught, and have not been taught for decades, it's a romanticized view of White-Indian relations.
 
2010-09-24 06:28:24 PM  

Vanetia: Figured someone else would post this but here it is:


Wow. Mr. Hilliker needs a good ass kicking.

When my oldest daughter was in sixth grade, she came home and proudly announced that the reason there was a big hurricane going on because the planets had aligned. When we questioned here about it, she told us her teacher had taught this in science. I went and talked to the teacher and she insisted that it was a fact. I tried to explain to her that it had nothing to do with planets, but she could not be dissuaded. We finally got the school administration to place my daughter in a different class, but they would not do anything disciplinary towards the teacher as she was tenured.
 
2010-09-24 06:29:01 PM  

Lampmonster: TommyymmoT: Hell, I went to Catholic school.

Where do I start?

Um, I went to catholic school, and they didn't teach us any of that nonsense. Well except the moth thing, but as pointed out above it's not false. Maybe your Catholic school sucked, but mine did a good job. In fact when I transfered to public school, I was shocked at what was being taught.

Not a Catholic by the way.


Same.

I was taught evolution and big bang. Nothing about intelligent design or creationism either.

Sure, we had to take a religion class, but anyone could bullshiat through them. Our non-religion classes were non-religious.
 
2010-09-24 06:29:01 PM  
fizzix_is_fun In 1st grade I was taught that pigs were extremely unhealthy and dangerous to eat.

In 3rd grade I was taught that the only time you can balance an egg on its end was on the equinox.

In 5th grade I was taught that the ark had recently been discovered on Mt. Ararat and there was a fancy new documentary to prove it.

In 6th grade I was taught that the bible is the unerring word of god.

In 7th grade I was taught that dinosaur bones were placed on earth by god as a test of our faith.

In 8th grade I was taught that the Jewish people have a divine right to the land of Israel and everyone else should just scoot off.

In 9th grade I was taught that there was an unbroken verbal chain of instructions passed down for over 1000 years with no errors introduced.

In 10th grade I was taught that geological strata can't be trusted as age markers because everything got moved around in the flood.

In 11th grade I was taught that homosexuals need to control their urges just like rapists.

yeah, this guy didn't even get close to the top 10 lies.


You went to a Jewish day school, I'm guessing. I went to one for three years (7th - 9th grade) Fun times, right?
 
2010-09-24 06:30:04 PM  

keypusher: meat0918: keypusher: I'm not going to read the whole thread to see if this has been covered, but...

George Washington and the Cherry Tree? C'mon, that has to be the most thoroughly debunked story in American history. No one believes this. Take it away, Grant Wood:

Parson Weems' Fable (new window)

The Native Americans and Pilgrims had a potluck dinner/lovefest filled with fat turkeys and corn. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Again, nobody believes this. They believe the Pilgrims and the Indians had a meal together. Which is true.

Children do. Then they grow up.

Nope, I have a child, and I know many other children. If there is one thing children are not being taught, and have not been taught for decades, it's a romanticized view of White-Indian relations.


My jab at the right wing historical revisionists seems to have been to far too subtle.

//My apologies.
 
2010-09-24 06:30:20 PM  

WhyteRaven74: slumus lordicus: mass every day sans monday

Jesus christ. I went to Catholic school for 13 years and never had mass every day. In grade school from second through eighth grade it was once a week. In high school it was only a handful of school masses each year.


Maybe he left out an apostrophe:

m'ass every day sans monday
 
2010-09-24 06:31:46 PM  

Gimbal: scientific method...


Just this week, my 13 year old was given lessons in it, so all is not lost.

I think it should be taught as one of the fundamental operating principles of a rational human.
 
2010-09-24 06:32:14 PM  
LAUGHTER OL how retarded of the teacher must this person have if they say that the pepper moth did the evolution during the revolution of industries? No one has ever said this. What they say is that at this time the rate of these of each color had done a change which is quite the true situation but that does not mean that one did not exist before.

This article was very much as bad as some sort of sexing child of the Consumerist and Cracked with Sarah Palin as the grandmother of this child like she is of Mister Trigonometry Palin.
 
2010-09-24 06:34:33 PM  
1) The government is a benevolent benefactor and can be trusted not to do any wrong. It can and will care for you like a loving parent from the cradle to the grave.
 
2010-09-24 06:35:14 PM  
Any quote on the Aztec, Inca, and Mayans having obsidion blades that were much much sharper than steel ( or bronze or copper ), which perversly would make metalurgy a step backwards in weapondry? Although, I'm pretty sure a bronze breastplate would work better than an obsidion one..

OK, how about:
Day 1 - Lazers!
 
2010-09-24 06:37:23 PM  
1) You can be anything you want when you grow up.
2) Anyone can be president including poor people.
3) If you do that again it'll stick that way.
4) You're a smart and intelligent boy and everyone loves you!
 
2010-09-24 06:37:52 PM  

DVDave: JNowe: Oznog: Ehh: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon
23. There will be cake.

24. There will be no math.


25. I'll love you forever.
26. Southern Comfort doesn't get you that drunk.
 
2010-09-24 06:39:08 PM  

prancer: Any quote on the Aztec, Inca, and Mayans having obsidion blades that were much much sharper than steel ( or bronze or copper ), which perversly would make metalurgy a step backwards in weapondry? Although, I'm pretty sure a bronze breastplate would work better than an obsidion one..

OK, how about:
Day 1 - Lazers!


Approves?

filmjournal.net
 
2010-09-24 06:40:07 PM  

meow said the dog: This article was very much as bad as some sort of sexing child of the Consumerist and Cracked with Sarah Palin as the grandmother of this child like she is of Mister Trigonometry Palin.


That's it. We're cutting you off now. You've clearly had too much and need to go sleep it off somewhere.
 
2010-09-24 06:41:55 PM  

Devil's Playground: Vanetia: Figured someone else would post this but here it is:

Wow. Mr. Hilliker needs a good ass kicking.

When my oldest daughter was in sixth grade, she came home and proudly announced that the reason there was a big hurricane going on because the planets had aligned. When we questioned here about it, she told us her teacher had taught this in science. I went and talked to the teacher and she insisted that it was a fact. I tried to explain to her that it had nothing to do with planets, but she could not be dissuaded. We finally got the school administration to place my daughter in a different class, but they would not do anything disciplinary towards the teacher as she was tenured.


I don't look forward to the day when I'll have to stand toe to toe with one of my daughter's teachers and tell them to stop being retarded while shoving page after page after page of evidence in their face.

I was lucky enough to not have terrible teachers for the most part. The ones I had were in English and Social Studies so who cares?

Tenure is bullshiat.
 
2010-09-24 06:42:54 PM  

meat0918: keypusher: meat0918: keypusher: I'm not going to read the whole thread to see if this has been covered, but...

George Washington and the Cherry Tree? C'mon, that has to be the most thoroughly debunked story in American history. No one believes this. Take it away, Grant Wood:

Parson Weems' Fable (new window)

The Native Americans and Pilgrims had a potluck dinner/lovefest filled with fat turkeys and corn. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Again, nobody believes this. They believe the Pilgrims and the Indians had a meal together. Which is true.

Children do. Then they grow up.

Nope, I have a child, and I know many other children. If there is one thing children are not being taught, and have not been taught for decades, it's a romanticized view of White-Indian relations.

My jab at the right wing historical revisionists seems to have been to far too subtle.

//My apologies.


Your post was stupid, not subtle. Apology accepted.

/And everyone is revising history at all times, on the left as well as the right. Just look at a history textbook now versus one from 30 years ago versus one from 60 years ago.
 
2010-09-24 06:45:46 PM  

Barakku: Bullshiat. Lying to kids at school is never acceptable and natural selection is NOT that farking complicated.


Agreed.

I forgive the article though, because they put "the scientific method" on the list. Given the way that's typically taught in schools, it would be 10x better not to mention it at all.

Ten other "lies" we are taught in school:

1) Glass is a slowly flowing liquid.
2) Ice melting under ice skates in an example of Le Chatelier's principle.
3) Pandas are not bears. They are not carnivores because they only eat bamboo.
4) The Viceroy butterfly is not toxic, but the Monarch is. (The Viceroy is a Batesian mimic of a Monarch.)
5) Electricity takes the shortest path. (obviously meant as a simplification, but still a horrible one)
6) [Mammal] is completely colorblind, for several different examples of [mammal].
7) The Great Wall of China is the only man-made structure visible from space.
8) Balboa named the Pacific.
9) Amerigo Vespucci named America.
10) A bill becomes a law by starting in the House and then, if passed, proceeding to the Senate.
 
2010-09-24 06:46:16 PM  
This list sucks for so many reasons.
I can't even begin.
 
2010-09-24 06:47:17 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: This will go down on your Permanent Record.


Lol, yeah, I see I'm beaten to that one by you and several others. It's almost hard to believe now that for a while those words actually sounded like a serious threat, back in elementary school. As if those paper airplanes you launched out the classroom window or the spitballs fired in the cafeteria were going to come back to haunt you when you applied, years later, for college or a job.

"I must say, your resume is quite impressive, and this interview has only solidified that impression. I think you'll fit in very-- Oh wait, what's this in your permanent record? A note from Ms. Tompkins, back in third grade? Hrmmmm... I see..."
 
2010-09-24 06:50:21 PM  

Skyrmion: 10) A bill becomes a law by starting in the House and then, if passed, proceeding to the Senate.


www.astrobetter.com

Never heard the "glass is a liquid" thing, though. Wtf?
 
2010-09-24 06:54:54 PM  

prancer: Any quote on the Aztec, Inca, and Mayans having obsidion blades that were much much sharper than steel ( or bronze or copper ), which perversly would make metalurgy a step backwards in weapondry? Although, I'm pretty sure a bronze breastplate would work better than an obsidion one..


You can knapp obsidian to be sharper than a steel blade, but there's a lot more to a good blade than sharpness.

A myth I see a lot is that iron weapons were a major improvement in quality over bronze ones. They certainly weren't for a long time; rather the advantage of iron was in its abundance (especially over tin).
 
2010-09-24 06:55:13 PM  

LMark:
You went to a Jewish day school, I'm guessing. I went to one for three years (7th - 9th grade) Fun times, right?


None of my siblings did. They're all orthodox now. I'm the lone atheist in my family.
 
2010-09-24 06:55:27 PM  

Almost Pure: 1) You can be anything you want when you grow up.


www.pbfcomics.com
 
2010-09-24 06:57:39 PM  

impaler: while that belief was popular, it was never official cannon.


Right. Just like we've always been at war with Eastasia.
 
2010-09-24 06:58:03 PM  

res_nihil: I echo the comments someone made on cursive writing. In 3rd grade we had to learn it and it seemed so pointless and indecipherable to me that I promptly forgot it the next year. Then sometime around 8th grade I had an english teacher who made us write all of our papers in cursive. She didn't believe me when I said I'd forgotten how to do it and that I'd never had a teacher who made me use it before, but eventually relented to allowing typed papers.


I had a professor who insisted our papers be hand written, but made it clear that he wouldn't accept any written in cursive.
 
2010-09-24 07:01:51 PM  

res_nihil: I echo the comments someone made on cursive writing. In 3rd grade we had to learn it and it seemed so pointless and indecipherable to me that I promptly forgot it the next year. Then sometime around 8th grade I had an english teacher who made us write all of our papers in cursive. She didn't believe me when I said I'd forgotten how to do it and that I'd never had a teacher who made me use it before, but eventually relented to allowing typed papers.


Other than my signature, I haven't used cursive since the third grade.
 
2010-09-24 07:02:43 PM  

Vanetia: Never heard the "glass is a liquid" thing, though. Wtf?


That one is even common enough to get its own section in the wiki article on glass.

On the issue of Congress, I should also add "the Vice President presides over the Senate". IIRC, the number of days when Cheney actually performed that role was under a dozen.
 
2010-09-24 07:02:56 PM  

unheatedgarage: res_nihil: I echo the comments someone made on cursive writing. In 3rd grade we had to learn it and it seemed so pointless and indecipherable to me that I promptly forgot it the next year. Then sometime around 8th grade I had an english teacher who made us write all of our papers in cursive. She didn't believe me when I said I'd forgotten how to do it and that I'd never had a teacher who made me use it before, but eventually relented to allowing typed papers.

I had a professor who insisted our papers be hand written, but made it clear that he wouldn't accept any written in cursive.


Same here. And a history professor, no less! Talk about living in the past...
 
2010-09-24 07:03:00 PM  
Cursive is useful for writing to yourself in indecipherable code that only you can read... sometimes...
 
2010-09-24 07:06:39 PM  

Skyrmion: Vanetia: Never heard the "glass is a liquid" thing, though. Wtf?

That one is even common enough to get its own section in the wiki article on glass.

On the issue of Congress, I should also add "the Vice President presides over the Senate". IIRC, the number of days when Cheney actually performed that role was under a dozen.


"The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided."
- (Article I, Section 3, Clause 4) US Constitution
 
2010-09-24 07:10:59 PM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: Besides my signature, I've had to use cursive ONCE since learning it in elementary school.


Let me guess... was it on the GRE?

When I took that exam, they told me to copy out a paragraph by hand, in cursive, stating that I will not cheat on the exam, and then sign the bottom. It had been so long since I had written anything in cursive that it took me nearly half an hour to legibly write the few sentences.

/the entire test was computerized
//irony tag seen snickering in the corner
 
2010-09-24 07:12:13 PM  

redmid17: "The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided."
- (Article I, Section 3, Clause 4) US Constitution


Oh, I'm well aware that they technically have that title. They almost never actually do it, though. High School civics left me with the impression that they were down there in the Senate every day gettin' shiat done.
 
2010-09-24 07:19:26 PM  

Skyrmion: redmid17: "The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided."
- (Article I, Section 3, Clause 4) US Constitution

Oh, I'm well aware that they technically have that title. They almost never actually do it, though. High School civics left me with the impression that they were down there in the Senate every day gettin' shiat done.


Yeah I always thought that too, but when I visited DC in 8th grade I saw sleeping senators in a C-SPAN hearing about farm aid. That's when I figured that the VP didn't give 2 shiats.
 
2010-09-24 07:26:57 PM  

heinekenftw: Lampmonster: TommyymmoT: Hell, I went to Catholic school.

Where do I start?

Um, I went to catholic school, and they didn't teach us any of that nonsense. Well except the moth thing, but as pointed out above it's not false. Maybe your Catholic school sucked, but mine did a good job. In fact when I transfered to public school, I was shocked at what was being taught.

Not a Catholic by the way.

Same.

I was taught evolution and big bang. Nothing about intelligent design or creationism either.

Sure, we had to take a religion class, but anyone could bullshiat through them. Our non-religion classes were non-religious.


My personal experience with lies told to me by catholic schools:

1. The Crusades were a 100% noble undertaking (Taking back the 'holy land'. Politics anyone?)
2. Popes were always good and pure and could not sin because they were so 'holy' (Borgia Popes, anyone?)
3. Henry VIII was one of the worst villains in history because he was a bigot to Catholics (Really about English sovereignty. Politics again)
4. All the Jews converted to Christianity after the Resurrection. (Yeah, right!)

I was shocked when I heard the 'different' versions after going to a non-religious school. A few visits to the school library sealed it for me.

It appears that these inconsistencies were eventually noticed by the Catholic school boards as they must have been quietly played down. The curriculum is generally identical to secular schools; the religion classes are electives. While still insisting on uniforms, at least they seem to be eliminating those skirts and see-through blouses that make the girls look like a Japanese fetish.
 
2010-09-24 07:28:44 PM  
fizzix_is_fun LMark:
You went to a Jewish day school, I'm guessing. I went to one for three years (7th - 9th grade) Fun times, right?

None of my siblings did. They're all orthodox now. I'm the lone atheist in my family.


Ironic, huh? Wouldn't call myself an atheist, but I certainly have rejected Judaism to a large extent, including the Conservative Judaism of my parents. I leaned towards being religious before going to an orthodox day school, and my mother thought that this should be encouraged, as her father had just died, and she thought about increasing her own observance. But going to a school like that with an open mind may actually cause you to see all the holes in the reasoning behind the religion, and, from the point of view of a parent who wants you to be relgious, be counterproductive.
 
2010-09-24 07:30:49 PM  

redmid17: Skyrmion: redmid17: "The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided."
- (Article I, Section 3, Clause 4) US Constitution

Oh, I'm well aware that they technically have that title. They almost never actually do it, though. High School civics left me with the impression that they were down there in the Senate every day gettin' shiat done.

Yeah I always thought that too, but when I visited DC in 8th grade I saw sleeping senators in a C-SPAN hearing about farm aid. That's when I figured that the VP didn't give 2 shiats.


I think in practice the veep takes over a lot of the ceremonial duties the president doesn't have time for, and acts as an adviser and policy spokesman for the administration. His role in the Senate is usually delegated to the President Pro Tempore (who delegates further still to some junior senator most of the time).
 
2010-09-24 08:05:48 PM  
The "Domino Theory" of Communism -- "Which is why, boys and girls, we are fighting a just war in Vietnam."
 
2010-09-24 08:06:01 PM  
"Just shut up and do it, you'll need this later in life."
 
2010-09-24 08:07:27 PM  
1. There was such thing as a Brontosaurus.
2. Santa Claus has nothing to do with Christianity.
 
2010-09-24 08:10:33 PM  

curtainsmatchcarpet: DVDave: JNowe: Oznog: Ehh: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon
23. There will be cake.
24. There will be no math.
25. I'll love you forever.
26. Southern Comfort doesn't get you that drunk.

27. This is going on your permanent record.
 
2010-09-24 08:15:53 PM  

Desterion: The list is flawed without global warming on it.


img821.imageshack.us
 
2010-09-24 08:25:49 PM  
Just remembered one from Sunday School: "Babies go to hell because they haven't taken Jesus Christ as their lord and savior."

This was the swift beginning of the end of my belief in God and everything that is holy. At about 7 or 8 years old. I figured if God and Jesus were that creepy, there was something seriously wrong about worshiping and praising them. I do remember asking about Moses and Noah, since they weren't around in time for Jesus, and was told they MAYBE got a pass. But probably not.
 
2010-09-24 08:49:42 PM  
That the phases of the moon were caused by the shadow of the earth.
 
2010-09-24 09:04:44 PM  

Fifi Le Pew: Just remembered one from Sunday School: "Babies go to hell because they haven't taken Jesus Christ as their lord and savior."

This was the swift beginning of the end of my belief in God and everything that is holy. At about 7 or 8 years old. I figured if God and Jesus were that creepy, there was something seriously wrong about worshiping and praising them. I do remember asking about Moses and Noah, since they weren't around in time for Jesus, and was told they MAYBE got a pass. But probably not.


It's too bad you haven't taken the time to investigate this further. Always sad when some wacknut in a position of authority turns people off Christianity just because that person nutty.

Jesus used a small child as an example of the attitude his followers were to have (Matthew 18:2). Since all the teachings about being saved in the Bible involve taking personal responsibility for one's actions, there is no way someone can expect one who cannot yet understand the consequences of their actions to take the steps toward salvation.
 
2010-09-24 09:10:18 PM  
Skyrmion: redmid17: "The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided."
- (Article I, Section 3, Clause 4) US Constitution

Oh, I'm well aware that they technically have that title. They almost never actually do it, though. High School civics left me with the impression that they were down there in the Senate every day gettin' shiat done.


And the VP also protects the space/time continueum
 
2010-09-24 09:20:05 PM  

No Line For Beer: curtainsmatchcarpet: DVDave: JNowe: Oznog: Ehh: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon
23. There will be cake.
24. There will be no math.
25. I'll love you forever.
26. Southern Comfort doesn't get you that drunk.
27. This is going on your permanent record.


28. Cafeteria food tastes delicious.
 
2010-09-24 09:20:34 PM  
1. Sheriff Thomas E. Weikel is an honorable man.
2. So are his Deputies.
 
2010-09-24 09:23:33 PM  
God is real and Jesus is alive and loves you.
Looks aren't important.
Authority - especially a teacher - always has your best interests at heart.
Smart kids make more money as adults.
Education (read: schooling) is the way to happiness.
 
2010-09-24 10:10:07 PM  
The Founding Fathers held a wide array of religious beliefs, ranging from Christianity to Deism. Thomas Jefferson rejected the concept of the Trinity and loathed the idea of a national religion. Benjamin Franklin and John Adams were Deists.

All of which were variants of Christianity. Yes the founding fathers rejected the idea of a national church but that was because they felt that a man should be free to worship God in the manner he saw fit, atheism never seemed to occur to any of them.

Before any heavy bashing starts, Im an atheist myself. That doesn't change the fact that they were christians
 
2010-09-24 10:12:13 PM  

The_Sponge: WhyteRaven74: He was wrong about van Gogh. Van Gogh never cut off his ear or had his ear cut off. It was part of the ear lobe and van Gogh did the cutting himself.


When I was in elementary school, we were told that he gave it to his girlfriend.

Years later, I heard that he gave it to his favorite hooker.


Same thing
 
2010-09-24 10:13:52 PM  

Galileo's Daughter: No Line For Beer: curtainsmatchcarpet: DVDave: JNowe: Oznog: Ehh:

28. Cafeteria food tastes delicious.


Sadly, the way my folks cooked, cafeteria food was pretty darn good. If I was on death row, my last meal would be the turkey, mashed potatoes/gravy and green beans that we seemed to have at least once a month.
 
2010-09-24 10:20:02 PM  

Quasar: 11) You'll get a job right after you graduate
12) You need to learn ________ (calculus, etc) for your future


Yeah, can I get a "you need to go to college so you'll make money?"
 
2010-09-24 10:22:40 PM  

zato_ichi: Galileo's Daughter: No Line For Beer: curtainsmatchcarpet: DVDave: JNowe: Oznog: Ehh:

28. Cafeteria food tastes delicious.

Sadly, the way my folks cooked, cafeteria food was pretty darn good. If I was on death row, my last meal would be the turkey, mashed potatoes/gravy and green beans that we seemed to have at least once a month.



My mom was a great cook, but I'd be so down on the springs with meat sauce they served at my Catholic school. And the seasoned macaroni. OOMMMM NOM.
 
2010-09-24 10:47:00 PM  

Galileo's Daughter: 8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU


No shiat. How could a blind person have founded an organization like the ACLU?
 
2010-09-24 10:48:01 PM  
I remember when the big man from the bank came to my elementary school to teach us about banking.

He told us about interest and how our money would grow in the years to come to huge sums for doing nothing.

We gathered up our pennies, nickels and dimes. Some of us even had quarters and dollars. Money was real back then.

Anyway they gave us tiny little versions of the same bank books as our parents. Sometimes we would travel to the bank to add a penny or a nickel more when we could spare it.

Mostly we tried to forget about it so it would remain there and grow like they promised...and we did.

A couple of years went by and someone noticed a tiny little notice in the paper that said they were closing all of our accounts. We had so many days to get down there and get our money if we wanted it.

Some bean counter had decided that the banking lesson they were trying to teach us wasn't making them any money. They went with a new lesson plan.

One many of us, I'm sure, have never forgotten.
 
2010-09-24 10:53:00 PM  
I was told (25 years ago) by a song my English Teacher used to play that "50 thou a year will buy alot of beer".

I now make that much, but can only buy "a little beer and pot".
 
2010-09-24 11:20:00 PM  
I remember when the big man from the United States Post Office came into our class room to teach us about stamps and a program they was set up so people could save for savings bonds.

He told us how stamps were just like money. He said if you bought a stamp for three cents you could always come in and get your three cents back for it.

Then he went on to tell us about another special kind of stamp they had that you could buy and stick in a little book. When you had enough stamps in the little book, you could trade it in for a United States Savings Bond. Bonds were pretty special back then because they were a good way to save and help your country at the same time.

Anyway many of us got our little books and started buying savings bond stamps. The post office was closer than the bank so I could get stamps and add them to my book.

A couple of years went by and a little notice in the paper said they were not going to do the program any more.

If there was a grace period I missed it before I got to the post office to redeem my stamps. They were suppose to be as good as money. The big man behind the counter explained they didn't refund money on Savings Bond Stamps anymore and I raised hell. I told him what the big man had told us all and how the stamps were as good as money and at any time we wanted we could, not only bring in these stamps, but ANY stamp and get our money back.

I went on about it and I think he knuckled and redeemed my little book. I can't remember for sure if he took the money out of the drawer or his own pocket.

About forty five years later that little seven year old or so was revived. I gathered up all of my old stamps and took them in for a refund. They were of all sorts of out dated denominations that were hard to just stick on an envelope to get rid of. Like one said, "this stamp and any F stamp is good for first class postage".

I went in there for a refund and the little lied to kid came out pissed off as all get out when they didn't give me money back like the big post office man promised they would.

Nobody cared about the United States Post Office's word any more. I think they sold out to some foreign outfit years ago.
 
2010-09-24 11:21:58 PM  

jshine: Ehh: 14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.

If they aren't safe, how many people have been killed by American civilian nuclear power reactors?

/my count is 0


Why selectively only say American civilian reactors? way to prove a false point by being deceptive.
 
2010-09-25 12:08:19 AM  
SuperNinjaToad: Why selectively only say American civilian reactors? way to prove a false point by being deceptive.

I would guess the careful wording would allow the exclusion of some of the early accidents in American reactors like the one that blew the containment dome off and they still couldn't find one of the workers for a while. Someone finally noticed him pasted to the ceiling.

Then there was a story about a guy that, through quick action, may have save the lives of his co-workers. A radioactive pellet fell out of a container and he reached down, grabbed it and stuck it back in. He was burned where he touched it. The sore got worse and his fingers came off. The decay worked up his arm until he had no arm. More and more fell away until his shoulder was gone and it was making into vital areas in his chest.
 
2010-09-25 12:11:32 AM  

violetvolume: zato_ichi: Galileo's Daughter: No Line For Beer: curtainsmatchcarpet: DVDave: JNowe: Oznog: Ehh:

28. Cafeteria food tastes delicious.

Sadly, the way my folks cooked, cafeteria food was pretty darn good. If I was on death row, my last meal would be the turkey, mashed potatoes/gravy and green beans that we seemed to have at least once a month.


My mom was a great cook, but I'd be so down on the springs with meat sauce they served at my Catholic school. And the seasoned macaroni. OOMMMM NOM.


Get outta here...and out of my head! I'm totally with you on the mac-n-cheese. Went to Catholic school from K-8 and that was great food. The sisters cooked, and really, everything was good.
My son now goes to the same school, and sadly, the sisters no longer cook, but they still cook in-house.

Meatless Fridays FTW!
 
2010-09-25 12:20:24 AM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: #8 always kills me. If scientific advancement were that simple, someone would have developed a computer program to do it for us a long, long time ago.


Determining the correct questions designing an appropriate hypothesis and then reanalyzing that hypothesis based on the information gained is pretty much impossible barring a sentient computer. So far as I know, we're still a ways of from our war with machines.

Still, we do have learning programs which can duplicate the scientific method to an extent.

Really if you want to teach the scientific method I'd think a bigger point of contention would be teaching students the meaning of a falsifiable hypothesis, and how that fits into determining 'science' from 'not science'
 
2010-09-25 12:26:34 AM  

hipster_slayer: Scientific method? Really? I mean we all know social science is total BS but don't knock the "hard" sciences.


A number of social sciences hold more rigorously to the premise of falsifiability than I've seen many hard sciences. The "hard" or "soft" sciences means very little for the academic rigor of the paper, course, or discipline in question.
 
2010-09-25 12:37:11 AM  

StokeyBob: SuperNinjaToad: Why selectively only say American civilian reactors? way to prove a false point by being deceptive.

I would guess the careful wording would allow the exclusion of some of the early accidents in American reactors like the one that blew the containment dome off and they still couldn't find one of the workers for a while. Someone finally noticed him pasted to the ceiling.

Then there was a story about a guy that, through quick action, may have save the lives of his co-workers. A radioactive pellet fell out of a container and he reached down, grabbed it and stuck it back in. He was burned where he touched it. The sore got worse and his fingers came off. The decay worked up his arm until he had no arm. More and more fell away until his shoulder was gone and it was making into vital areas in his chest.


I was actually thinking bigger like Chernobyl but your examples are all good too.
 
2010-09-25 12:47:55 AM  

Prison-Sex: I was told (25 years ago) by a song my English Teacher used to play that "50 thou a year will buy a lot of beer".

I now make that much, but can only buy "a little beer and pot".


See the devils and the angels
See how shamelessly they dance
Defyin' the laws of gravity
On the shoulders of romance

How grim our lives would be
If not for children's laughter
Like scary old fairy tales
With no happily-ever-after

Bow down to the standard white Jesus on the cross
Then read the letters that the children write
To the standard white Santa Claus

--excerpt, Timbuk 3, Standard White Jesus
 
2010-09-25 01:53:24 AM  

StokeyBob: I went in there for a refund and the little lied to kid came out pissed off as all get out when they didn't give me money back like the big post office man promised they would.


Dude, If you're 52 (or older), it's time to get over it.

/Turned 50 yesterday. Not so pissed off at the gov't anymore.

//Disappointed? Yes.
 
2010-09-25 03:19:58 AM  

Galileo's Daughter: No Line For Beer: curtainsmatchcarpet: DVDave: JNowe: Oznog: Ehh: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon
23. There will be cake.
24. There will be no math.
25. I'll love you forever.
26. Southern Comfort doesn't get you that drunk.
27. This is going on your permanent record.

28. Cafeteria food tastes delicious.


29. Catherine the Great was farked to death by a horse.
 
2010-09-25 03:37:43 AM  

Gordon Bennett: Galileo's Daughter: No Line For Beer: curtainsmatchcarpet: DVDave: JNowe: Oznog: Ehh: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon
23. There will be cake.
24. There will be no math.
25. I'll love you forever.
26. Southern Comfort doesn't get you that drunk.
27. This is going on your permanent record.
28. Cafeteria food tastes delicious.
29. Catherine the Great was farked to death by a horse.


30. There's only going to be three or four people at the party.
31. Read my lips. No new taxes.
 
2010-09-25 04:13:19 AM  
Worst.article.ever. Almost everything in it is wrong. The moth event actually happened. There had to be some black moths before but the point is the MAJORITY changed to black as the industrial revolution got underway.
No one ever claimed Ben Franklin discovered electricity. He only set out to prove that lightning was a form of electricity. Lies about lies. hmmm
 
2010-09-25 04:32:34 AM  

dobro: MAJORITY changed to black as the industrial revolution got underway.


I don't think any "changed to black" at all. The gene for black out-competed the gene for spotted because it gave an evolutionary advantage, so more moths with the black gene survived to breed and pass it on, so eventually the spotted virtually disappeared.

Unless you're touting Lamarckism?
 
2010-09-25 04:55:30 AM  
My teacher in grade 2 told us that Iran was our friends.
 
2010-09-25 06:35:28 AM  

paj3: Ok, I went to Catholic school too, so I'll give my favorite:

Unbaptized babies can't go to Heaven. They go to Limbo. So if you pull a baby from a burning house and you are not sure if it has been baptized, spit in your hand and baptize it yourself so it can get into Heaven. (learned that gem in 7th grade).


They (nuns) taught us that one in 2nd grade. Really, no shait, I kid you not. It was like emergency first aid for the soul. Nuns in my day had really weird ideas about unbaptized babies, and we had to do everything in our power to prevent babies dieing unbaptized. We even had practice emergency baptism sessions When my little brother was born, I laid awake at night worrying about him dieing. I asked my older brother if we should do it, just to be safe. He told me I had to stop listening to nuns. Best piece of advice I ever got.
 
2010-09-25 07:45:37 AM  

james1878: dobro: MAJORITY changed to black as the industrial revolution got underway.

I don't think any "changed to black" at all. The gene for black out-competed the gene for spotted because it gave an evolutionary advantage, so more moths with the black gene survived to breed and pass it on, so eventually the spotted virtually disappeared.

Unless you're touting Lamarckism?


You're right. They didn't change to black. The darker variations survived in greater numbers than the lighter colored. Individual animals aren't going to change. It takes years, sometimes millions, for a noticeable effect in a species. And not all changes are beneficial. They only must be not detrimental. Giraffes don't need 7 foot long necks but it doesn't impair their ability to survive.
 
2010-09-25 08:34:10 AM  

Siskabush: My teacher in grade 2 told us that Iran was our friends.


Apparently neglecting the grammar portion of the lesson.
 
2010-09-25 09:57:46 AM  

Gordon Bennett: Galileo's Daughter: No Line For Beer: curtainsmatchcarpet: DVDave: JNowe: Oznog: Ehh: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon
23. There will be cake.
24. There will be no math.
25. I'll love you forever.
26. Southern Comfort doesn't get you that drunk.
27. This is going on your permanent record.

28. Cafeteria food tastes delicious.

29. Catherine the Great was farked to death by a horse.


No, no, no. The crane/contraption responsible for holding the horse broke resulting in her being crushed to death.

At least that's how I heard it.

Such a great story.
Kudos to you for beinging that one up.
 
2010-09-25 10:05:24 AM  
In most cases we read history as written by the victor or major players of the time, thus most is embellished lies.
/You'll still be a virgin if I stick it in your pooper ;]
//What did he win Jim?
 
2010-09-25 01:07:39 PM  

Masso: I know about destroying environment and consistent war. But I'm putting a brake on cannibalism and stone age.


People are a convenient food source - every society in the world has engaged in cannibalism at some point (ditto with slavery)

With the exception of using gold by Mayans, etc. name one other example of NA technology that had advanced beyond the stone age.
 
2010-09-25 02:15:29 PM  

LordZorch: With the exception of using gold by Mayans, etc. name one other example of NA technology that had advanced beyond the stone age.


I would say though that it is fair to classify most North American tribes as "stone age". However, a number of them deserve to be called at least "chalcolithic", and the Incas did use some copper and bronze knives and axes. [link]
 
2010-09-25 03:15:22 PM  
IIS is the only web server that allows you to name your home page any filename you want.
/the textbook's listing of acceptable JavaScript date formats is wrong because it includes this one that I didn't know about
//he got tenure the next semester

Why It Should Change

Learning the reality of the relationship between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans would give students a better historical insight into the foundations of America, and the impact of our arrival here on the Native American way of life.


So this is the only time when reality matters in an academic institution?

Why It Shouldn't Change

It gives children hope that one day they could have that "lightbulb moment" just like one of mankind's geniuses.


Oh, because it gives them false hope, like religion does. Gotcha. farking idiot.
 
2010-09-25 04:56:47 PM  
1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon
23. There will be cake.
24. There will be no math.
25. I'll love you forever.
26. Southern Comfort doesn't get you that drunk.
27. This is going on your permanent record.
28. Cafeteria food tastes delicious.
29. Catherine the Great was farked to death by a horse.

30. Duke Nukem Forever will be released in 1997 / 1998 / 1999 / 2000 / 2001 / 2002/ I don't know / I don't care / when it's done / it's cancelled / its uncancelled / we're screwed / we're out of business / another company has it / 2011
 
2010-09-25 08:21:30 PM  
+ Betsy Ross sewed the first American flag.
 
2010-09-26 05:25:05 AM  
Unheatedgarbage: "Seventh Day Adventist?"

They just identified as Christian. I never really asked for specifics. I just went along to get along as my parents wanted me to go to anything but a public school and I wanted to make them happy.
 
2010-09-27 09:55:12 AM  

unheatedgarage: Zamboro: #1. That "evolutionists" believe we evolved from a rock.
#2. That purported transitional fossils are all animals that had birth defects.
#3. That Chinese fishermen had recovered a relatively fresh carcass of a plesiosaur, proving a young earth.
#4. That if UFOs exist, they are demonic in nature.
#5. That if scientists ever tried to build a living organism, it would remain inert, as "only God can provide the spark of life".
#6. Those of other religions unwittingly worship Satan in disguse. We were told this during a tour of a mosque, a synagogue and a Buddhist temple.


(I went to a private Christian school.)

Seventh Day Adventist?


Hey now. Seventh Day Adventist may be a weirdo, but they're not that weird.

Yes, I did go to Seventh Day Adventist school. My class teacher would have no problem teaching evolution, saying it doesn't interfere with Bible, the other class have it easier. The teacher would just skip it saying "God created all animals, the end". One teacher also had a theory that, yes, human once live with dinosaurs, citing leviathan as some dinosaur. But he also taught me that Lot's wife was buried under volcanic eruption ash that she looks like pillar of salt.

Just one contradiction after another the Seventh Day Adventist when it comes to science.
 
2010-09-27 11:13:45 AM  

ScouserDuck: Gordon Bennett: Galileo's Daughter: No Line For Beer: curtainsmatchcarpet: DVDave: JNowe: Oznog: Ehh: 1. Slaves built the pyramids and various other Egyptian structures
2. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
3. Attila the Hun was a savage/barbarian
4. The vikings were brutish marauding rapers and pillagers
5. Napoleon was short
6. Hitler was Austrian
7. J. Edgar Hoover was male
8. Anne Frank founded the ACLU
9. All dog are boys and all cats are girls
10. Hitler had only one nut
11. Cops don't have quotas
12. Throwing Rice at weddings kills birds.
13. The Super bowl and Presidential Elections are legitimate, uncorrupted contests.
14. Nuclear power plants are safe and will provide pollution free power.
15. All drugs are equally bad for you.
16. It taste like chicken
17. These lists are awesome
18. Mildred Pierce was the wife of Franklin Pierce.
19. Giant squid started World War II.
20. Clean coal
21. Size doesn't matter
22. We actually landed men on the Moon
23. There will be cake.
24. There will be no math.
25. I'll love you forever.
26. Southern Comfort doesn't get you that drunk.
27. This is going on your permanent record.
28. Cafeteria food tastes delicious.
29. Catherine the Great was farked to death by a horse.
30. I'll tell you before I come



/catholic school
 
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