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(The Onion)   Mexico killed in drug deal   (theonion.com) divider line 48
    More: Satire, Mexico, drug cartels, Tijuana, Mexican state, President Felipe Calderon, Drug Enforcement Administration, ransoms, Mexico killed  
•       •       •

9239 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Sep 2010 at 12:05 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2010-09-23 10:09:30 AM  
You know, just taking lessons from the Godfather, this actually wouldn't be bad for business.
 
2010-09-23 10:36:56 AM  
Laughter OL
 
2010-09-23 12:06:26 PM  
I can't help thinking if they had a wise Latina woman in charge, with rich life experiences, none of this would have happened.
 
2010-09-23 12:06:35 PM  
Heh
 
2010-09-23 12:07:01 PM  
So long, and thanks for all the tacos!
 
2010-09-23 12:08:14 PM  
lordaction: I can't help thinking if they had a wise Latina woman in charge, with rich life experiences, none of this would have happened.

Mexican, New Yorican, what's the difference. Amirite? They all eat tacos anyway.
 
2010-09-23 12:08:37 PM  
If only this were true!

/I'd be headed to Cabo to snag one of those fancy cliffside mansions
 
2010-09-23 12:10:09 PM  
Mexico, Ron?
2.bp.blogspot.com
Herpes takes its next victim? who the Eagles going to start on Sunday now?
 
2010-09-23 12:11:07 PM  
Sure, it may be satire....now....but they're working on it, yes, they are.
 
2010-09-23 12:11:07 PM  
So... the "30 million undocumented workers" here in the U.S. can move back home now?
 
2010-09-23 12:17:56 PM  
A++, would read again.
 
2010-09-23 12:18:10 PM  
i love the onion
 
2010-09-23 12:19:07 PM  
I hate onions, but I love The Onion.

Next: Mexican President sues The Onion for falsehoods about his country being violent.
 
2010-09-23 12:21:56 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

/well, that's what he'd say if he wasn't already dead
 
2010-09-23 12:22:14 PM  
This is terrible. There's nothing on CNN or MSNBC about it yet.
 
2010-09-23 12:23:32 PM  
"Episodes like this are simply unacceptable and will not be tolerated by the United States government."

icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-09-23 12:24:56 PM  
Maybe that is how the dinosaurs died...a drug deal gone wrong
 
2010-09-23 12:25:35 PM  
This business got out of hand and we weren't lucky enough to live through it.
 
2010-09-23 12:31:41 PM  
It was horrible when it happened.

It was so soon, too bloody, but no one really was caught surprised. It was just too much, however.

Now we're displaced. most people don't have their papers in order (not that it matters now), I tried to apply for French citizenship, but they told me that, since the country's dead, I have no nation, and therefore, not legible for citizenship. Same thing in Spain and Canada.

I'm sending my papers to the Embassy of Biafra right now, hopefully I'll get an answer soon.
 
2010-09-23 12:35:45 PM  
Ron Mexico frowns upon your shenanigans

blogs.trb.com
 
2010-09-23 12:41:55 PM  
i939.photobucket.com
Meet her? You mean meet him.

/thatsthejoke.jpg?
 
2010-09-23 12:43:59 PM  
Cute. But like all too many Onion stories in recent years, once you've read the headline and maybe the first sentence or two, you've got the joke and the rest is surplus. Contrast that with an older Onion classic like You Will Suffer Humiliation When The Sports Team From My Area Defeats The Sports Team From Your Area, which just gets funnier with every sentence. (Granted, that one set a standard you can't expect to be met very often.)
 
2010-09-23 12:46:05 PM  
it is really sad how the US farked up drug policies continues to fark with south and central america.

they need to wake up and just legalize drugs in their own countries.
hell, the drug vacations alone would pay for any lost aid from the US.

why go to floriduh and get arrested for smoking pot, when you could go to cancun and live the high life.

/sweet
/when do they wake up??
 
2010-09-23 12:51:18 PM  
Imagine the years of therapy we'd all be in because of the enormous guilt over the secret feeling of relief that would rush through us if this really happened.
 
2010-09-23 12:56:58 PM  
Tridentata: Cute. But like all too many Onion stories in recent years, once you've read the headline and maybe the first sentence or two, you've got the joke and the rest is surplus. Contrast that with an older Onion classic like You Will Suffer Humiliation When The Sports Team From My Area Defeats The Sports Team From Your Area, which just gets funnier with every sentence. (Granted, that one set a standard you can't expect to be met very often.)

Sony's stupid piece of shiat that doesn't do the goddamn thing it's farking supposed to is fairly new and is hilarious. It is a video though.

This Onion story is quite old now but is still my favorite article they've done.
 
2010-09-23 12:58:00 PM  
Wouldn't there have to be one last person left? Unless the last two people shot each other at the same time.
 
2010-09-23 01:01:56 PM  
ohdoublereally: Wouldn't there have to be one last person left? Unless the last two people shot each other at the same time.

Nah. It was a Mexican standoff, of course.
 
2010-09-23 01:03:04 PM  
Sweet. That was a pretty good lulz.

"A four-gram bag of cocaine was also recovered by agents," Leonhart added.

I was waiting on the street value to come out and be a half a billion dollars, as with all cop math.
 
2010-09-23 01:03:20 PM  
Strange this being Fark im amazed the other story on the front page hasnt gotten mentioned it mentioning one of Farks favorite things and one of its favorite trolls.
Link
 
2010-09-23 01:27:28 PM  
Thank god they sent an "escape pod" up to the states.

Just kidding I love the immigrants here and I ♥ (love) Mexico
 
2010-09-23 01:47:29 PM  
ohdoublereally: Wouldn't there have to be one last person left? Unless the last two people shot each other at the same time.

or grenades and bombs
 
2010-09-23 01:48:22 PM  
Gerald Tarrant: Strange this being Fark im amazed the other story on the front page hasnt gotten mentioned it mentioning one of Farks favorite things and one of its favorite trolls.
Link


Don't get me wrong. I am huge fan of (or maybe that is the other way around) gonzagas or anything loosely (or jiggly) affiliated with them but that article was LAME.
 
2010-09-23 01:50:19 PM  
401kman: Thank god they sent an "escape pod" up to the states.

Just kidding I love the immigrants here and I ♥ (love) Mexico


if the illegal immigrants organized and had a "let's not work for 7 days" and held it at the height of vegetable picking season, imagine the panic in the country?

imagine all the produce that would go unpicked, the houses and lawns unkept, the construction which would be delayed "sorry I have no workers"

would be fricking hillarious
 
2010-09-23 02:12:48 PM  
o.onionstatic.com

I don't want to be accused of being an overly sensitive liberturd or anything but it kind of kills the joke when you're looking at a pile of freshly executed dead bodies. I mean dead baby jokes are only funny because you're not actually in possession of a truck load of dead babies. If that is staged, which I doubt, then I have the same reservations but full kudos to the staging/photo people.
 
2010-09-23 02:23:22 PM  
namatad: 401kman: Thank god they sent an "escape pod" up to the states.

Just kidding I love the immigrants here and I ♥ (love) Mexico

if the illegal immigrants organized and had a "let's not work for 7 days" and held it at the height of vegetable picking season, imagine the panic in the country?

imagine all the produce that would go unpicked, the houses and lawns unkept, the construction which would be delayed "sorry I have no workers"

would be fricking hillarious


Dear Mexicans,

We would like to hire you back with a special new health care plan. Its called "You work for me for 3rd world wages while you get sick and die in a place out my sight." This would be a win-win situation for you. You could be gainfully (but not by much) employed while also learning to become your own amateur doctor. You can learn to tell your kids that they are gonna die, just like on TV! It will be like House! Except you will be called Casa. Remember everyone lies senior.

As long as you don't kill any important ranchers, you can be my little brown bff and stay in this country to do my bidding. Just remember though, you can't be a citizen, and my family came over on a boat a few hundred years ago so I am a citizen. So when I decide that you are not my brown bff anymore, you get to go back to Mexico!

Regards,

Anglo saxons that came here a little sooner than you did
 
2010-09-23 02:24:59 PM  
OscarTamerz: I don't want to be accused of being an overly sensitive liberturd or anything but it kind of kills the joke when you're looking at a pile of freshly executed dead bodies. I mean dead baby jokes are only funny because you're not actually in possession of a truck load of dead babies. If that is staged, which I doubt, then I have the same reservations but full kudos to the staging/photo people.

These people are not Americans, so it doesn't phase me.
 
2010-09-23 02:43:02 PM  
This is terrible news!!! Where are we going to get the majority of our oil now?
 
2010-09-23 02:53:15 PM  
davidab: This is terrible news!!! Where are we going to get the majority of our oil now?

depends what type of oil you seek.

there are still plenty of babies that can be squeezed for fresh baby oil.
 
2010-09-23 03:01:14 PM  
El Farquistador: ohdoublereally: Wouldn't there have to be one last person left? Unless the last two people shot each other at the same time.

Nah. It was a Mexican standoff, of course.


Hi.
 
2010-09-23 03:05:26 PM  
we import ~ 11m bpd
~ 1m bpd comes from mexico
so losing 9% of our oil imports would be bad, m'kay.
 
2010-09-23 03:13:11 PM  
401kman: namatad: 401kman: Thank god they sent an "escape pod" up to the states.

Just kidding I love the immigrants here and I ♥ (love) Mexico

if the illegal immigrants organized and had a "let's not work for 7 days" and held it at the height of vegetable picking season, imagine the panic in the country?

imagine all the produce that would go unpicked, the houses and lawns unkept, the construction which would be delayed "sorry I have no workers"

would be fricking hillarious

Dear Mexicans,

We would like to hire you back with a special new health care plan. Its called "You work for me for 3rd world wages while you get sick and die in a place out my sight." This would be a win-win situation for you. You could be gainfully (but not by much) employed while also learning to become your own amateur doctor. You can learn to tell your kids that they are gonna die, just like on TV! It will be like House! Except you will be called Casa. Remember everyone lies senior.

As long as you don't kill any important ranchers, you can be my little brown bff and stay in this country to do my bidding. Just remember though, you can't be a citizen, and my family came over on a boat a few hundred years ago so I am a citizen. So when I decide that you are not my brown bff anymore, you get to go back to Mexico!

Regards,

Anglo saxons that came here a little sooner than you did


Dear Anglos,

No. Perhaps the rednecks of our country might benefit from such a deal, but I won't. I didn't bust my ass through highschool and college, just so I could work in sub-par conditions, let alone let anyone else you.

I am at your front door right now. Watching. I just set up a few things. Don't worry, they won't kill you... Now, at least.

Enjoy your cancer, and you vermin-infested house.

Sincerely,

Disgruntled Mexican

PS: Your wife is cheating you with the Chinese delivery guy.

/This is kinda fun
 
2010-09-23 04:09:46 PM  
Meh...

I normally LOVE the Onion. But hearing my Mexican girlfriend's survival stories of Mexican gang wars makes this not-so-funny.

The pile of dead bodies isn't doing it for me.
 
2010-09-23 04:22:33 PM  
CygnusDarius: It was horrible when it happened.

It was so soon, too bloody, but no one really was caught surprised. It was just too much, however.

Now we're displaced. most people don't have their papers in order (not that it matters now), I tried to apply for French citizenship, but they told me that, since the country's dead, I have no nation, and therefore, not legible for citizenship. Same thing in Spain and Canada.

I'm sending my papers to the Embassy of Biafra right now, hopefully I'll get an answer soon.


i suggest you make yourself the new president of mexico while there is a power vacuum
apply for aid from the UN, and then i got nothing else
 
2010-09-23 04:25:09 PM  
davidab: This is terrible news!!! Where are we going to get the majority of our oil now?

new south texas
 
2010-09-23 05:11:03 PM  
The Onion might have went to far on this one, although the prediction of Mexico going in the direction of Somolia is dead on.

If the headline was 'Juarez, Mexico killed in drug deal', that might not cross the line.

/Sorry to anyone living in Juarez
 
2010-09-23 05:23:31 PM  
El Farquistador: ohdoublereally: Wouldn't there have to be one last person left? Unless the last two people shot each other at the same time.

Nah. It was a Mexican standoff, of course.


img18.imageshack.us

There must be a name for this?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2010-09-23 05:40:19 PM  
The pile of dead bodies isn't doing it for me.

Imagine one live one at the bottom eating its way out.
 
2010-09-23 10:39:56 PM  
From the sidebar:
Poll: 1 In 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus (new window):

A growing segment of the population believes the president is pollinated by moths and hummingbirds.
 
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