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(Sun Journal (Maine))   Some pickup lines are really natures way of saying you shouldn't breed. 'Is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.' ' Does this rag smell like chloroform?'   (sunjournal.com) divider line 294
    More: Fail, middle-age, hot tubs, parking garage, pockets, schoolyards, Homo habilis, nature  
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11923 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Sep 2010 at 1:21 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-09-19 10:34:13 AM  
Me: Do you know the difference between a Caesar salad and a blowjob?

Her: No

Me: Good, let's go out to dinner
 
2010-09-19 10:53:59 AM  
"Are your parents retarded? Because you are so special, girl."
 
2010-09-19 10:54:20 AM  
Me: Hi, my name is BigSnatch.

Her:
What kind of name is that?

Me: It's my Fark handle. I'm actually a TFer to be honest.

Her: You're a TFer?! OMG do me so hard!

/works every single time
 
2010-09-19 11:17:54 AM  
Hi, I'm a millionaire.
 
2010-09-19 11:43:13 AM  
eddyatwork: Hi, I'm a millionaire.

*flings panties overseas*
 
2010-09-19 12:04:00 PM  
You take the blue pill with the "e" and feel real randy, or you take the red pill and wake up naked in my bed feeling a little sore not remembering anything from the night before.
 
2010-09-19 12:07:35 PM  
I was always fond of "Slap my picture on a milk carton, I'm about to get lost in your eyes"

I was never good at pick up lines.

/My aunt is very sick.
 
2010-09-19 12:20:45 PM  
I_Am_Weasel: I was always fond of "Slap my picture on a milk carton, I'm about to get lost in your eyes"

I was never good at pick up lines.

/My aunt is very sick.


Wait... your aunt told you that?
She is sick.
 
2010-09-19 12:23:05 PM  
BigSnatch: Me: Hi, my name is BigSnatch.

Her: What kind of name is that?

Me: It's my Fark handle. I'm actually a TFer to be honest.

Her: You're a TFer?! OMG do me so hard!

/works every single time


PacManDreaming: Me: Do you know the difference between a Caesar salad and a blowjob?

Her: No

Me: Good, let's go out to dinner


So, are you going to tell me the difference, or do I need to go out to dinner with you to find out?
 
2010-09-19 01:05:27 PM  
LittleBlondeJug: So, are you going to tell me the difference, or do I need to go out to dinner with you to find out?

Chicken, not sausage?
 
2010-09-19 01:27:28 PM  
The one that always worked for me is: "Hi, I'm former American President Bill Clinton, and I'd like you to be my intern."
 
2010-09-19 01:27:48 PM  
I_Am_Weasel: I was always fond of "Slap my picture on a milk carton, I'm about to get lost in your eyes"

I was never good at pick up lines.

/My aunt is very sick.


That is funny as hell.
A friend of mine said she heard the following pickup line told to a girl at a bar in Amsterdam and the guy got the digits: "Imma put a baby in you."

WTF
 
2010-09-19 01:29:15 PM  
Fact: Pickup lines are 40% more effective when delivered using your best Zapp Brannigan voice.
 
2010-09-19 01:30:07 PM  
Baby, you're like a tear in my eye.
Now don't make me cry because I don't want to lose you!
 
2010-09-19 01:30:24 PM  
i51.tinypic.com

"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."
 
2010-09-19 01:31:14 PM  
"Wow, those are really nice shoes. Want to fark?"


Slam dunk line right there, boys. Works every time.
 
2010-09-19 01:32:06 PM  
The sqrt(69) = ate something.
 
2010-09-19 01:33:15 PM  
No, no LoneVVolf, the article says you gotta use the Lou Rawls voice!
 
2010-09-19 01:34:18 PM  
DID SOMEONE LOSE A BOOK, CUZ YOU'RE FINE

/or something like that
//... pickup lines are gay
///fingering a chick at the bar? now that's cool
 
2010-09-19 01:37:11 PM  
You see this face?
It leaves town in 20 minutes
Be on it.

/or something like that
 
2010-09-19 01:39:32 PM  
Dinner or a movie? I'm going to kill you either way...
 
2010-09-19 01:39:45 PM  
Personal favorite: "How do you like your eggs, scrambled or fertilized?"
 
2010-09-19 01:40:45 PM  
Are those astronaut pants? Because, baby, your ass is out-of-this-world
 
2010-09-19 01:42:28 PM  
Spit on her, spit on yourself and suavely say "What say you and me get out of these wet clothes?"

Works every time.
 
2010-09-19 01:42:46 PM  
As long as I got a face, you got a place to sit....
 
2010-09-19 01:44:31 PM  
hey baby if i found your corpse i'd hide it under my bed for a week
then i'd fark it
 
2010-09-19 01:44:51 PM  
And for a couple of years my pick up line was "Hey, check this out." And then I'd whip out my dick. It actually did work every time.

I'm quite surprised I never got maced.
 
2010-09-19 01:45:26 PM  
YodaBlues: Dinner or a movie? I'm going to kill you either way...


Did this line ever work??? HAHAHA!!!

(Hilarious and scary)
 
2010-09-19 01:45:42 PM  
I forgot my phone number... Can I have yours?
 
2010-09-19 01:46:16 PM  
Wanna smoke a bowl?


/Always worked for me!
 
2010-09-19 01:47:06 PM  
My two favorite things are commitment, and changing myself.

/60% of the time, it works every time
 
2010-09-19 01:47:10 PM  
Do you want to blow me or do I owe you an apology?

/Why yes, I am single.
 
2010-09-19 01:47:19 PM  
"Pleased to meet you, with meat to please you."
 
2010-09-19 01:47:32 PM  
WTF.. seems like deja vu all over again.
I could swear we just did this thread a few days ago...
 
2010-09-19 01:48:33 PM  
One that worked on a german friend of mine while working in London:
"Grab your coat love, you've pulled".
 
2010-09-19 01:48:37 PM  
Would any nice farkets like to smurfme?4real
 
2010-09-19 01:50:27 PM  
"is $200 an hour okay?"
 
2010-09-19 01:51:33 PM  
Have I ever told you about my penis? It's shaped like a foot and wants to be in your butt.
 
2010-09-19 01:51:51 PM  
Wanna Fark?
Wanna go halves in one?
Well do you mind laying down while I have one?

/It'll work one day
 
2010-09-19 01:52:16 PM  
BigSnatch: Me: Hi, my name is BigSnatch.
Her: What kind of name is that?
Me: It's my Fark handle. I'm actually a TFer to be honest.
Her: You're a TFer?! OMG do me so hard!
/works every single time


uhhhhhh....to be honest, if I met a guy who told me he was a regular Farker, that would probably work. Provided I was attracted to him in the first place.

farkin_Gary: Wanna smoke a bowl?
/Always worked for me!


Yes, I know of a few guys I'd like to use that one on. Probably to find out that they're violently anti-pot. Oh well.
 
2010-09-19 01:52:37 PM  
I want to put my penis in your vagina.
 
2010-09-19 01:52:53 PM  
Tymast

hey baby if i found your corpse i'd hide it under my bed for a week
then i'd fark it



Smooooth.

Stolen.
 
2010-09-19 01:53:58 PM  
"So, do you wanna do it?"
 
2010-09-19 01:54:21 PM  
Fark all that crap, just bail a hooker out of jail for the weekend. They will love ya for it.
 
2010-09-19 01:54:24 PM  
"Hey look over there!"

*ninja rape*
 
2010-09-19 01:54:27 PM  
"My cock died and it's final request was to be buried in your ass..."

/at least remember to keep your mouth open so you get a free drink.
 
2010-09-19 01:54:59 PM  
Fallout Boy: I want to put my penis in your vagina.

Subtle one, ain't ya.
 
2010-09-19 01:55:04 PM  
Antonio Scarpacci (I'm paraphrasing)"I love your dress, it would look great crumpled into a ball next to my bed in the morning."
 
2010-09-19 01:55:33 PM  
"Do you have a bladder control problem or are you just happy to see me?"
 
2010-09-19 01:57:37 PM  
I will tattoo my name on your soul with my penis.

dogtime.com
 
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