'Actually Being Attractive' is really the only strategy that works.

SilentStrider: Fuller: 'Actually Being Attractive' is really the only strategy that works.

I hear "having a shiatload of money" helps too.

Same thing as far as many women are concerned, isn't it?

Asking her to suck it in the first two sentences is RIGHT OUT.

Hector Remarkable: Asking her to suck it in the first two sentences is RIGHT OUT.

Third sentence though, well, depends on the girl.

Fuller: Hector Remarkable: Asking her to suck it in the first two sentences is RIGHT OUT.

Third sentence though, well, depends on the girl.

I find "Nice tits. Can I take a shiat on them?" works from time to time.

/goddammit Sven

Check out my magic watch, it can tell me all kinds of things. For instance, you aren't wearing panties right now.

- if she says "Your right!", then you continue
- if she says "Your a perv", then you say "Huh, must be fast"


Or the old classic

Hi my name is ______, do you have herpes?

When they say no, act relieved and introduce yourself.

/60% of the time, every time.

So do you use windex on your pants? because I can see myself in them.

Be attractive. Don't be unattractive.

You: Hey, I bet you a dollar my hand are so quick and so gentle I can grab your tit and you not even know it

Her: WTF ever

You- Darn, guess I owe you a dollar.

Is heaven missing an angel? 'Cause you got niiice cans.

/Futurama FTW

Someone with less ethics, or under the guise of science needs to compile thousands of hours of dating footage (where only one party knows, hence the less ethics), with different males and females in different situations.

Then make up some bs study on it, and release the data.

Yea there are books, but with thousands of hours of footage and enough different individuals at different beauty/social skills you can learn to see what works and what doesn't, and subtle human gestures

/would of been useful in my more akward highschool days "when do I kiss, what do I say...is that a sign to put my hand on her thight... oh god htis date ended with a hug again."

I agree... "Hello", is an excellent opener. But you had better follow it up with something worthwhile. If not, no amount of, "hello", is going to help.

I slapped a man's face for inappropriate touching ... it felt so good, really good ... the slap, I mean. It made my hand sting and his face was glowing red.

Popcorn time

Wadded Beef: Is heaven missing an angel? 'Cause you got niiice cans.

/Futurama FTW

My two favorite things are commitment, and changing myself.

True story:

sonarbison: Hey, um, if I asked you out, would you say yes?
random lass: Well, I'm seeing this guy and he's kinda like my boyfriend...
sonarbison: That's cool! I have this hamster, who's kinda like my pet.
random lass: *stares quizzically*
sonarbison: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about things that didn't matter!

...aaaand I got her number.

JohnnyC: I agree... "Hello", is an excellent opener. But you had better follow it up with something worthwhile. If not, no amount of, "hello", is going to help.

"Hello"
"...hi"
"Hello"
"...."
"HELLO"

Attention to detail. Be someone you would like to be around. Until then, stay out of the game so you don't mess up someone else, or yourself.

I just ask what her name is. I met a girl the other night using this method. Her name is Buzz Off Bozo.

HelenKellersFingers: I slapped a man's face for inappropriate touching...

He was just trying to talk to you.

sonarbison: True story:

sonarbison: Hey, um, if I asked you out, would you say yes?
random lass: Well, I'm seeing this guy and he's kinda like my boyfriend...
sonarbison: That's cool! I have this hamster, who's kinda like my pet.
random lass: *stares quizzically*
sonarbison: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about things that didn't matter!

...aaaand I got her number.

I use goldfish, I read it in a book.

I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.

Gyrfalcon: Fuller: 'Actually Being Attractive' is really the only strategy that works.

Usually for me, "Not being stupid" will trump "Actually being attractive" for anyone, provided they're marginally more attractive than Quasimodo on a bad hair day.

How marginally are we talking here?

Consult this oracle of Mysterious Wisdom: the TV told me he's all-knowing concerning the 'mystery' of women, and it hasn't led me astray, even up till this cusp of a new day.


I haven't gotten laid using his method, yet, but I'm sure if we exchanged knowledge in the old-fashioned greek style, things would be very, very different.

One of my few successes involved a drunken ramble that included, but was not limited to:

"I'm also a spy. A ninja one. With lots of money. In outer space. Rock star outer space. I'm made of chocolate."

VvonderJesus
HelenKellersFingers: I slapped a man's face for inappropriate touching...

He was just trying to talk to you.


I didn't stutter. He touched me and I didn't like it so I slapped his face really hard.

GAT_00: Fuller: Hector Remarkable: Asking her to suck it in the first two sentences is RIGHT OUT.

Third sentence though, well, depends on the girl.

I find "Nice tits. Can I take a shiat on them?" works from time to time.

/goddammit Sven

Is this your first non-troll? Heh.

HelenKellersFingers: VvonderJesus
HelenKellersFingers: I slapped a man's face for inappropriate touching...

He was just trying to talk to you.


I didn't stutter. He touched me and I didn't like it so I slapped his face really hard.

Sorry, I guess I was going for a joke based off your Fark handle :/

Not really interested in reading a thread full of socially autistic masturbators tell bullshiat stories about how they supposedly tricked the Victoria's Secret models into blowing them.

"Hello. My name is _______. Do you like music?"

Prepare for a vast variety of responses - be on your toes.

If you can tactfully follow up with a smidgen of humor and a pinch or two of wit, you'll soon find yourself betwixt his/her sheets.

Note: This is an all-in approach. If you fail, you're out for good. But if you can fetch a laugh and a twinkle in his/her eye, get ready for a love of the hottest sort!

VvonderJesus
HelenKellersFingers: VvonderJesus
HelenKellersFingers: I slapped a man's face for inappropriate touching...

He was just trying to talk to you.


I didn't stutter. He touched me and I didn't like it so I slapped his face really hard.

Sorry, I guess I was going for a joke based off your Fark handle :/

Sorry, sometimes jokes don't come across very well. Believe it or not, I felt bad for slapping him, so I told him to keep his hands to himself and bought him a beer.

HelenKellersFingers: I slapped a man's face for inappropriate touching ... it felt so good, really good ... the slap, I mean. It made my hand sting and his face was glowing red.

I've never actually slapped anyone, mostly cause I'm such a non-confrontational type that my luck if I ever did I'd get the guy who isn't afraid to hit back and beat the crap out of me for it


had some guy try to pick me up at a taco bell once, he was three times my age too, really creepy, was filling my soda at the fountain and he just stood behind me and kept saying "wow....I really like you, here let me give you my phone number, here's my phone number take it, I want to go out with you here's my phone number" to the point I flat out said "geez, I just want to eat my crappy lunch do you mind?"

had some guy whip it out at me on the bus once too, luckily it was at my stop so I shot him a nasty look and got up to leave, he tried to grab my chest, I pushed his hand away and stormed off


/I know I'm not the best looking person out there so every guy who hits on me has a total "what the hell is wrong with you" vibe to begin with

VvonderJesus: HelenKellersFingers: VvonderJesus
HelenKellersFingers: I slapped a man's face for inappropriate touching...

He was just trying to talk to you.


I didn't stutter. He touched me and I didn't like it so I slapped his face really hard.

Sorry, I guess I was going for a joke based off your Fark handle :/

I LOL'd

Saying hello and following that up with being charming usually works well for me.

.....and not treating a girl like she's an idiot helps too.