februarymakeup: Theaetetus: februarymakeup: I'LL SPONSOR MEMBERS OF TEAM HANDJOB!

In spite of the fact that I just got sponsored, I would like to state for the record that I did not give febs a handjob.

/thanks, anonysponsor!

No no no, I don't want any of you to touch me. Ever.

I just wanna hear about the folks that prefer them to blowjobs.

Meh. I'm married. I don't get either any more.

;-()

Bagelox-99: You're responding intelligently and appropriately, actually. mongbiohazard responded intelligently too, but made the mistake of taking me at face value.


I got it on your second reply. ;)

quietwalker: Far be it from me to steer things towards something serious, but statistically speaking, women outperform men in business.

... when they adopt stereotypically male traits ...

In the US at least, men tend to place higher priority on money while women tend to focus on quality of life.

That's why there's a lot of female managers who are decades younger than their male counterparts (well, that and affirmative action tax laws), but not many female CEOs. You need a lifelong devotion to get to the very top, but you only need to be good at what you do to reach the middle quickly.

Could it be that what you need to be devoted to to reach the top is money - and of course its handmaiden, power? That that desire for quality of life is actually what's holding females (and presumably non-money-and-power-motivated girlymen) back from the top jobs?

As an aside, why is it that none of these lists have "Do your job competently, perform the tasks you are assigned to the best of your ability," on the list?

Maybe because that's a necessary-but-not-sufficient condition to be there at all? Doing the best you can use to be the work ethic. It, and we, have grown way, way beyond that.

mongbiohazard: Bagelox-99: You're responding intelligently and appropriately, actually. mongbiohazard responded intelligently too, but made the mistake of taking me at face value.


I got it on your second reply. ;)

I'm glad. Saved me R. Lee Ermeying the thread into submission.

/It's a good thread, but a MAN's gotta do what a MAN's gotta do.

thejoyofpi: tsalaroth: Kuroshin: I also don't believe it's real. There are far too many errors for those to be legitimate corporate communiques. Having written and proofed plenty, something of that quality would never be approved (technical errors, not tone).

That and the "source" at the bottom of the card is some guy's book on how women can get ahead.

I think some 'tard read this, made a little placard out of it, then had it laminated.

OCCAM'S RAZOR suggests otherwise.

wat?

thejoyofpi: I meant Occam's handjob.

Oh.

ItsJustJake: februarymakeup: Theaetetus: februarymakeup: I'LL SPONSOR MEMBERS OF TEAM HANDJOB!

In spite of the fact that I just got sponsored, I would like to state for the record that I did not give febs a handjob.

/thanks, anonysponsor!

No no no, I don't want any of you to touch me. Ever.

I just wanna hear about the folks that prefer them to blowjobs.

Meh. I'm married. I don't get either any more.

;-()



/hot

EasyWind: Ladies, the list is simple.

1. Come to work
2. Do the job you were hired to do
3. Don't complain to anyone within earshot that every other woman at work is trying to 'destroy' you
4. Don't cry to get out of trouble or to get your way - we know its an act because well, you are a woman
5. Go home

Oh, to make life better at home include your husband with regard to number 3. That way, you can be reasonably sure that you wont find him hovering over you in the middle of the night with a roll of duct tape and a hammer.

I like that last idea. You got a newsletter I can sub to? Too many people fail to understand that sometimes duct tape and a hammer ARE the solution to intergender relations.

What the hell is this thread about?

RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

I just got back, and, yeah..I'm not entirely sure. I was going to reply to a few things and then realized that none of them were really the mainstream topic. I think it's a biker hate thread though.

Boy do I hate bikers.

Araj: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

I just got back, and, yeah..I'm not entirely sure. I was going to reply to a few things and then realized that none of them were really the mainstream topic. I think it's a biker hate thread though.

Boy do I hate bikers.

Notice my TotalFark? You're not so special now, are you?

RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

What the hell is your profile about?

Timmy the Tumor: tsalaroth: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

What the hell is your profile about?


I think it's the second coming of Cousin Itt

It can't be. Her profile says she's only 19.

RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

I just got back, and, yeah..I'm not entirely sure. I was going to reply to a few things and then realized that none of them were really the mainstream topic. I think it's a biker hate thread though.

Boy do I hate bikers.

Notice my TotalFark? You're not so special now, are you?

Somebody sponsor you? Or are you one of those rich people who can afford to shell out $5 at will?

tsalaroth: Timmy the Tumor: tsalaroth: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

What the hell is your profile about?


I think it's the second coming of Cousin Itt

It can't be. Her profile says she's only 19.

She left out a few zeros.

tsalaroth: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

What the hell is your profile about?

What do you mean?

Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

I just got back, and, yeah..I'm not entirely sure. I was going to reply to a few things and then realized that none of them were really the mainstream topic. I think it's a biker hate thread though.

Boy do I hate bikers.

Notice my TotalFark? You're not so special now, are you?

Somebody sponsor you? Or are you one of those rich people who can afford to shell out $5 at will?

Totally got sponsored. Didn't even have to do anything for it.

What depraved thing did you do for yours?

Timmy the Tumor: tsalaroth: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

What the hell is your profile about?


I think it's the second coming of Cousin Itt


I never even thought about that.

Araj: tsalaroth: Timmy the Tumor: tsalaroth: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

What the hell is your profile about?


I think it's the second coming of Cousin Itt

It can't be. Her profile says she's only 19.

She left out a few zeros.

.0019?

RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

I just got back, and, yeah..I'm not entirely sure. I was going to reply to a few things and then realized that none of them were really the mainstream topic. I think it's a biker hate thread though.

Boy do I hate bikers.

Notice my TotalFark? You're not so special now, are you?

Somebody sponsor you? Or are you one of those rich people who can afford to shell out $5 at will?

Totally got sponsored. Didn't even have to do anything for it.

What depraved thing did you do for yours?

I instantly believe you.

I had to write a novel about some idiots dying on a train track a few threads down. I think it had a Fail tag.

Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

I just got back, and, yeah..I'm not entirely sure. I was going to reply to a few things and then realized that none of them were really the mainstream topic. I think it's a biker hate thread though.

Boy do I hate bikers.

Notice my TotalFark? You're not so special now, are you?

Somebody sponsor you? Or are you one of those rich people who can afford to shell out $5 at will?

Totally got sponsored. Didn't even have to do anything for it.

What depraved thing did you do for yours?

I instantly believe you.

I had to write a novel about some idiots dying on a train track a few threads down. I think it had a Fail tag.

Wonder why I got one?

RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

I just got back, and, yeah..I'm not entirely sure. I was going to reply to a few things and then realized that none of them were really the mainstream topic. I think it's a biker hate thread though.

Boy do I hate bikers.

Notice my TotalFark? You're not so special now, are you?

Somebody sponsor you? Or are you one of those rich people who can afford to shell out $5 at will?

Totally got sponsored. Didn't even have to do anything for it.

What depraved thing did you do for yours?

I instantly believe you.

I had to write a novel about some idiots dying on a train track a few threads down. I think it had a Fail tag.

Wonder why I got one?

That I do. My first guess would be bie?

Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

I just got back, and, yeah..I'm not entirely sure. I was going to reply to a few things and then realized that none of them were really the mainstream topic. I think it's a biker hate thread though.

Boy do I hate bikers.

Notice my TotalFark? You're not so special now, are you?

Somebody sponsor you? Or are you one of those rich people who can afford to shell out $5 at will?

Totally got sponsored. Didn't even have to do anything for it.

What depraved thing did you do for yours?

I instantly believe you.

I had to write a novel about some idiots dying on a train track a few threads down. I think it had a Fail tag.

Wonder why I got one?

That I do. My first guess would be bie?

It is well known that I give it to anyone that asks.

RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

I just got back, and, yeah..I'm not entirely sure. I was going to reply to a few things and then realized that none of them were really the mainstream topic. I think it's a biker hate thread though.

Boy do I hate bikers.

Notice my TotalFark? You're not so special now, are you?

Somebody sponsor you? Or are you one of those rich people who can afford to shell out $5 at will?

Totally got sponsored. Didn't even have to do anything for it.

What depraved thing did you do for yours?

I instantly believe you.

I had to write a novel about some idiots dying on a train track a few threads down. I think it had a Fail tag.

Wonder why I got one?

That I do. My first guess would be bie?

It is well known that I give it to anyone that asks.

Of course. You should send me some.

I've seen women cry in the workplace, but never a man.

How outrageously sexist!

Women smile more often because they do not pretend that humans have no emotion.

Women sit differently because they HAVE DIFFERENT PARTS. This affects their posture and mannerisms.

Women speak softly because their vocal cords are shorter.

Women speak last in meetings because they tend to look at business problems objectively rather than considering every meeting a dick wagging contest.

I could go on and on...

Have we figured out if this is for real, or was this thread just a TF circle jerk?

Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

I just got back, and, yeah..I'm not entirely sure. I was going to reply to a few things and then realized that none of them were really the mainstream topic. I think it's a biker hate thread though.

Boy do I hate bikers.

Notice my TotalFark? You're not so special now, are you?

Somebody sponsor you? Or are you one of those rich people who can afford to shell out $5 at will?

Totally got sponsored. Didn't even have to do anything for it.

What depraved thing did you do for yours?

I instantly believe you.

I had to write a novel about some idiots dying on a train track a few threads down. I think it had a Fail tag.

Wonder why I got one?

That I do. My first guess would be bie?

It is well known that I give it to anyone that asks.

Of course. You should send me some.

I haven't already?

Frank and Beans: I've seen women cry in the workplace, but never a man.

So you've never been to a strip club?

quietwalker: In the US at least, men tend to place higher priority on money while women tend to focus on quality of life.

Let's be clear. What you really mean is "men work as hard as needed to do the job, and women work as hard as they're willing to without making sacrifices".

I disagree that it's all that accurate, but that's what "focusing on quality of life" means; it means you're saying "I won't do that" because you want to go home that night. Your coworker who overhears and says "Hey, I can handle that for you, boss" is the one who's going to get the promotion.

/Dude who focuses on quality of life
//Also far from wealthy, but I'm odd in not caring, apparently.


As an aside, why is it that none of these lists have "Do your job competently, perform the tasks you are assigned to the best of your ability," on the list?

Pure honest answer; the kinds of people reading these lists aren't doing their job competently, and they want to know the magic secret so they can still be incompetent but get a promotion.

Same reason women's magazines in supermarkets are filled with "Lose 12 lbs in 10 days with this easy chocolate diet!" and "How to make the man of your dreams find YOU!" Those who can, already have, those who can't want a magic secret they didn't know to explain their failure, so they don't have to admit that it's them.

Aisling McStabby: Frank and Beans: I've seen women cry in the workplace, but never a man.

So you've never been to a strip club?

Is there alot of crying in stripping?

RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: Araj: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

I just got back, and, yeah..I'm not entirely sure. I was going to reply to a few things and then realized that none of them were really the mainstream topic. I think it's a biker hate thread though.

Boy do I hate bikers.

Notice my TotalFark? You're not so special now, are you?

Somebody sponsor you? Or are you one of those rich people who can afford to shell out $5 at will?

Totally got sponsored. Didn't even have to do anything for it.

What depraved thing did you do for yours?

I instantly believe you.

I had to write a novel about some idiots dying on a train track a few threads down. I think it had a Fail tag.

Wonder why I got one?

That I do. My first guess would be bie?

It is well known that I give it to anyone that asks.

Of course. You should send me some.

I haven't already?

I uh lost it. Email got hacked. It was stolen. By pirates. Virus deleted it. You sent it to the wrong email. My computer broke. I would like some more?

mciann: How outrageously sexist!

Women smile more often because they do not pretend that humans have no emotion.

Men don't pretend other people don't have emotions. We just don't CARE about their emotions, and do our damn job rather than comforting Sally for two hours that afternoon because her goldfish died three days ago.


Women sit differently because they HAVE DIFFERENT PARTS. This affects their posture and mannerisms.

Yes, my balls are so heavy they literally pull me forward, whereas your bosoms are lighter than air and push you backwards.

Basic physics calls bollocks on this. If anything, women have more physical reason to lean forward on their elbows.


Women speak softly because their vocal cords are shorter.

You're confusing volume with pitch.


Women speak last in meetings because they tend to look at business problems objectively rather than considering every meeting a dick wagging contest.

If it took you to the end of the meeting to figure out a solution to offer when everyone else was providing solutions in the meeting, you're a slower thinker than everyone else at the table.

The dickwagging comes when we play golf or raquetball.



Basically, you're arguing that women are inherently and biologically bad at doing business. While calling everyone else a misogynist for suggesting it's in their heads.

sniff - sniff

Smells kind of funny in here....

RedEmily: Is there alot of crying in stripping?

Only if you're lucky.

Thorak: RedEmily: Is there alot of crying in stripping?

Only if you're lucky.

Those walnuts won't crack themselves.

Thorak: The dickwagging comes when we play golf or raquetball.

And oddly, two places where I've seen men cry.

/work on the follow through
//wear a cup for the other

Ceteris Paribus says: #11 Never admit having attended tOSU

jealousy does not suite you

Kyro: ami5000: I don't even understand the smile inappropriately thing. WTF are they talking about?

I didn't get that either. I keep picturing the Grinch's sneer, but I can't think of one real-world application.


"Bob, even though you had high marks in all areas on your quarterly review I'm not putting you in for a raise. Oh yeah, and your contributions helped me meet my management goals and with my bonus I'm going to Tahiti."

*smiles*

Timmy the Tumor: RedEmily: Aisling McStabby: Frank and Beans: I've seen women cry in the workplace, but never a man.

So you've never been to a strip club?

Is there alot of crying in stripping?


Yes. Stretch marks are scary.

And not nearly as erotic as a cesarean scar. Yum.

RedEmily: tsalaroth: RedEmily: What the hell is this thread about?

What the hell is your profile about?

What do you mean?

Nothing. Just never seen you post on the TF side of things.

Aisling McStabby: And not nearly as erotic as a cesarean scar. Yum.

I see now you don't want to be sponsored. I guess that's why ya never showed up a year ago.

I've never understood the women who cry that they'll be perceived as a biatch if they "act like a man." Act like a decent businessperson, and you'll hit middle management easily, and not be declared a biatch.

/firm handshake, curt nod, and a quick greeting are appropriate
//wears appropriate-height pumps to interviews, stilettos are for after you've got the job
///do your job, do it well, don't be an ass, and don't be afraid to speak up
////and I ain't pretty, so not being perceived as a biatch has nothing to do with my rack

Timmy the Tumor: Aisling McStabby: Timmy the Tumor: RedEmily: Aisling McStabby: Frank and Beans: I've seen women cry in the workplace, but never a man.

So you've never been to a strip club?

Is there alot of crying in stripping?


Yes. Stretch marks are scary.

And not nearly as erotic as a cesarean scar. Yum.


I prefer that to having a placenta fall out when getting a handjob

sorry, couldn't resist

Timmy the Tumor: Aisling McStabby: Timmy the Tumor: RedEmily: Aisling McStabby: Frank and Beans: I've seen women cry in the workplace, but never a man.

So you've never been to a strip club?

Is there alot of crying in stripping?


Yes. Stretch marks are scary.

And not nearly as erotic as a cesarean scar. Yum.


I prefer that to having a placenta fall out when getting a lap dance

Just prop that up with a potato. Problem solved.