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(NewsMax)   U.S. to probably strike Iran, Iraq, Syria and Sudan next. Followed by missile strikes on England, France, Fiji, Switzerland, Canada and Cuba.   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
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5814 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2001 at 4:27 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

55 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-10-10 04:32:33 PM  
Stupid headline, not even funny.
2001-10-10 04:34:42 PM  
Hey, cool... be sure to check those countries off on your WWIII checklist! Keep a tally until you've collected them all!
2001-10-10 04:36:56 PM  
Gotta Nuke 'em all!
2001-10-10 04:37:51 PM  
We should stop farking around and just nuke the first four on the list.....
2001-10-10 04:38:24 PM  
Drew, come on, this is unacceptable
2001-10-10 04:39:05 PM  
Hey! I put that in as "Asinine"

Maybe I am in the minority when it comes to bombing Tehran.


At least we can be assured that Bush came up with the "We aren't bombing the Afghan people, we are bombing the Taliban" excuse, somehow expecting us to think that the Taliban are not Afghan people.

Uzbekistan is a great democracy, much better than Iran (where they ELECT their leaders in ELECTIONS.)

Afghanistan will flourish with the Northern Alliance back in power, raping, pillaging.

This is begging for satire down the road. Or even revelations that we are harboring terrorists.
2001-10-10 04:42:09 PM  
fark solution 10085:
drop a bio-dome over the middle east (pauly shore included) let the farkers jihad all over each other untills they cant jihad no more, and pump the oil from underneath them.
2001-10-10 04:42:53 PM  

Very fark E D UP!
2001-10-10 04:43:59 PM  
2001-10-10 04:44:49 PM  
Yeah, bad headline and worse tag.
2001-10-10 04:46:59 PM  
Holy bleep. Tom Daschle is on board with using the military as something more than a bunch of human shields for 3rd-world warring factions. They must be building ice-rinks in hell about now.
2001-10-10 04:48:57 PM  
I did not pick the cool tag, I did make the headline.

Of course, after we beat the Afghanis (leaders, not the people, oh heavens no!), we will bomb the Swiss, since they have to be harboring terrorists, I'm sure if we can destroy mountainous Afghanistan, the Swiss have no chance.

Why ask countries to turn over terrorists? they are just gonna say that they don't have terrorists anyways, so bomb them first and demand terrorists later.
2001-10-10 04:49:40 PM  
Well, let's see....Have the press let everyone in on our little secret. Way to go Tom...

Like we knew they were going to hit Iraq....whoa, big surprise.
2001-10-10 04:50:21 PM  
If any of our political leaders are reading this:

During this war, car we please go in and attack Alaska and Hawaii? They're getting a little too big for their britches, IMNSHO.

They're not even REAL states if you think about it; they don't even touch us for crying out loud.

Thank you.
2001-10-10 04:59:16 PM  
CNN is gonna have one hell of time coming up with a map if we ever do bomb Switzerland...
2001-10-10 05:01:21 PM  
uh... wtf? What a shlty title.
2001-10-10 05:15:37 PM  

Tom is giving Iran time to reconsider it's "Not hate America" policy and replace it with a "Hate America" shindig. Plus, McCain let the secret out.

and for the countries around Afghanistan.


President: Imomali Sharipovich Rakhmonov (1992/1999) HDKT
Prime minister: Akil Akilov (1999) HDKT
The president is elected for a five year term by the people. The government is formed by HDKT and independents.

President: 6 november 1999 %

Imomali Sharipovich Rakhmonov 97%
Davlat Ismonov 2%

Source: Associated Press

Majlis Mamoyandogan: 27 february and 12 march 2000 % 63

People's Democratic Party of Tajikistan, pro-presidential HDKT 64.5 30
Communist Party (communist) CP 20.6 13
Islamic Renaissance Party (islamist) IRP 7.5 2
Democratic Party HD 3.5 -
Hizb Adolatkhoh (Justice Party) HA 1.4 -
Socialist Party (socialist) SP 1.2 -
Non-partisans (pro-HDKT) - - 15
not available/vacant - - 3

"Travellers should also note that the economy is in ruins, and in many places trade takes place using a bartering system rather than cash. Food, and just about every other commodity, is in short supply, especially in the mountains. Do not venture out at night in Dushanbe and keep hotel doors locked at all times."


President: Saparmyrat Nyyazow [known as: Turkmenbashy] (1990/1992) TDP
The president is elected for a five year term by the people. The president was elected unopposed at 21 june 1992. In a referendum in january 1994 it was decided that he will be president until 2002. In 1999 parliament decided that he will be president for life. The government is formed by the TDP.

The Majlis (Assembly) has 50 members, elected for a five year term in single seat constituencies. At the last Majlis elections, 12 december 1999 (turnout 98.9 %), the only allowed party, the dictatorial communist Democratic Party of Turkmenistan, got all seats. Next to the Majlis a Halk Maslakaly (People's Council) exists with as members the 50 members of the Majlis, 50 directly elected members and additional executive and judicial officials


President: Pervez Musharraf (2001, since 1999 chief executive)
The president is self-appointed and the government is formed by a military regime.

After the military coup parliament has been dissolved. The Majlis-l-Shura had two chambers. The National Assembly had 217 members, elected for a five year term, 207 members elected in single seat constituencies and 10 members elected by non-muslim minorities. The Senate had 87 members, elected for a six year term by the provincial parliaments (and the National Assembly members of the Federal areas and territories, every three years one half is renewed.

If ever there was a time to reconsider a visit to Pakistan, this is it."

"Health risks: malaria, dengue fever, hepatitis A, dysentery and, in rural areas, Japanese encephalitis"


President: Seyyed Mohammad Khatami (1997/2001)
Rahbar (Leader of the Islamic Republic and of the Nation): Seyyed Ali Khamenei (1989)
The president is elected for a four year term by the people. The government is formed by reformists. Most important party of the reformers' coaltion is the Iran Islamic Participation Front. Islamic conservatives remain influential.

President: 8 june 2001 (67 %) %

Seyyed Mohammad Khatami (reformist) 78.3
Ahmad Tavakoli (conservative) 15.9
Ali Shamkhani (conservative) 2.7
Abdolah Jasbi (conservative) 0.9
Mahmud Kashani 0.9
Hassan Ghafuri Fard (conservative) 0.5
Mansur Razavi (conservative) 0.4
Shahabeddin Sadr (conservative) 0.2
Ali Fallahian (conservative) 0.2
Mostafi Hashemi Taba (reformist) 0.1

Source: Iranmania

The Majlis ye-Shura-ye-Eslami (Islamic Consultative Assembly) has 290 members, elected for a four year term in multi- and single-seat constituencies. All candidates have to be approved by the Council of Guardians.

Majlis ye-Shura-ye-Eslami: 18 february and 5 may 2000 (83.0 %) 290

Reformists (2nd of Khordad) 189
Radical Islamists 54
Independents 42
Religious minorities 5

Source: Iranmania.

"This is the wrong place to finish that class paper on Satanic Verses and shouldn't be on your A-list for an all-over tan, but Iran does have a vast amount to offer the traveller who doesn't mind covering up (preferably not in that Reagan poncho), and eschewing ale and heartfelt feminist discourse."

"Health risks: Diarrhea, malaria, cholera, schistosomiasis, altitude sickness, sunburn"


President: Islam Abduganievich Karimov (1991/2000)
Prime minister: Otkir Sultonov (1995/2000) CDP
The president is elected for a five year term by the people. Government is formed by CDP and independents.

President: 9 january 2000 %

Islam Abduganievich Karimov 91.9
Abulchafiz Dzjalalov 4.1
Source: NRC-Handelsblad

The Oli Majlis (National Assembly) has 250 members, elected for a five year term, 83 members directly and 167 members by the local councils. Most parties are excluded.

Oli Majlis: 5 and 19 december 1999 % 250

Chalk Demokratik Partijasi (Democratic People's Party, communist) CDP . 48
Fidokorlar (Self Sacrifice) F . 34
Vatan Taraqiyotti (Progress of the Fatherland) VT . 20
Adolat (Justice) A . 11
Millyi Tiklanish (National Renaissance) NT . 10
Initiative groups - . 16
Local authorities - . 110
vacant - - 1

Source: Central Eurasia Project

"It's incredibly frustrating for travellers that the republic with arguably the most to offer has the worst attitude towards visitors. Politically the old USSR is alive and kicking here, and for individuals not under the wing of the state travel conglomerate, Uzbektourism, travel tends to be an endless series of petty bureaucratic irritations and official hassles. Uzbekistan's government likes its foreign visitors in pre-programmed, obedient pods; independent travellers can expect to be on the receiving end of unwelcome official attention"

in that whole area.. we have..

1 non-competitive Democratic nation with a ruined economy
1 country with a President for life
1 country with a general running the place
1 country with democratic elections
and one country run by former communists.

What a lovely part of the world

So of course we bomb the Democratic country. USA!

At least the Uzbeks have drinking water that a Mexican can love. "Health risks: Hepatitis A & E, diphtheria & undulant fever. Play it safe and don't drink the water even if locals say it's OK to drink."

Sources: Elections around the world and Lonely Planet

Lonely Planet rules..

"Even if you're brave (read: suicidal) enough to visit Afghanistan these days, you should still avoid large gatherings, particularly those marking national and Muslim holidays. But, should curiosity get the best of you, cover yourself according to the strictest local custom and check out these celebrations."
2001-10-10 05:16:04 PM  
If we threaten all the Middle-eastern countries they will have no choice but to join together against us.

Are we going to war against these countries because of what some of their people did in the past? Isn't that the same excuse the Taliban use?

Shouldn't we, rather, state that, from now-on, any attack from a citizen or occupant of any country against the USA can be construed as an act of war by that country? Can we demand that these countries be responsible for the actions of their occupants?
2001-10-10 05:20:41 PM  
During this war, car we please go in and attack Alaska and Hawaii? They're getting a little too big for their britches, IMNSHO.

They're not even REAL states if you think about it; they don't even touch us for crying out loud.

That's small-time thinking, RobbieFal. It's clearly the moment to attack and conquer Canada to reconnect the people of the continental U.S. with their northern brethren up in Alaska. Lebensraum, I tell you, lebensraum. The only downside is that we'll have nowhere to deport Peter Jennings.
2001-10-10 05:21:03 PM  
The headline is fine, Drew. We have just as much of a chance of bombing Iran as we do Canada. Don't listen to these nancy boys from the Great White North!!
2001-10-10 05:27:11 PM  
RobbieFal: thanks for the research. i'm going to paste it into Word and hold on to it.

but... "Iranmania"??? lol!
2001-10-10 05:27:22 PM  
'That's small-time thinking, RobbieFal.'

Uh dude.. I didn't post that. I posted the long thing on Afghanistan's farked up neighbors.
2001-10-10 05:28:16 PM  
This newsmax crap really gets to me. Why wasn't there an Anthrax attack at their offices?

Besides Alaska has enough gun toting hunters and many military bases to hold the rest of the united states off until we get support from Canada. haha
2001-10-10 05:29:13 PM  

it involved multitasking, HTML, copying and pasting. Not like a term paper of anything. :)

Iranmania is running while brotha!
2001-10-10 05:29:38 PM  

Iran-a-mania is running wild brotha!
2001-10-10 05:31:27 PM  
When we bomb France lets use the kind of bomb that gets rid of the people but leaves all the structures standing.
I would love to go to Paris but do not want to encounter any rude, smelly Frenchmen.
2001-10-10 05:38:18 PM  
When we bomb France let's use the kind of bomb that makes everyone's clothes disappear, but keeps the people and buildings intact.
2001-10-10 05:43:43 PM  
Breer: aren't you the guy that thinks OJ was framed?
2001-10-10 05:45:18 PM  
2001-10-10 05:47:48 PM  
It's a bit possible that O.J.'s kid did it, but didn't you have some big conspiracy theory about Goldman slitting his throat and all that?
2001-10-10 05:50:12 PM  
'Why wasn't there an Anthrax attack at their offices?'
Heh. Yes, let's all wish for the deaths of those who commit the horrible crime of having a differing opinion. Heh. It was my impression that liberals considered themselves the more compassionate group. Ah well.
2001-10-10 05:50:43 PM  
Ah, I don't remember. I come up with crazy shiate all the time.

Too hard to remember all the BS I make up everyday.
2001-10-10 05:52:44 PM  
bomb the english?
like in the gulf war you mean?

2001-10-10 06:01:25 PM  
there is a bright side, though. After we are done screwing them over, we can spend zillions to fix them up again.
The Arab nations voted that they were opposed to our doing anything beyond Afghanistan (which ;they accepted!) or they would be pissed. But the welathy guys there need our scotch and mercedes and we need their oil so they may swing with whatever we do. Hope it all takes place before Christmas so I can sing Peace on Earth and Merecy Mild
2001-10-10 06:45:25 PM  
Remember, this war is fought on many front is military strength...there is also financial, political, etc. I dont think the plans is to open some whipass on the rest but other measures...less bloody and perhaps more effective for moderate countries...Saturate the Iranians with western programs and we can stupify the public over suprised what a few hundred episodes of Buffy can do to a populous.

and bombing England...I think that relates to the stolen whiskey article...different bombing all together...
2001-10-10 06:56:06 PM  
McCain for president,
or at least secretary of state
2001-10-10 07:06:13 PM  
My sympathy for the "war on terrorism" has begun to fade...if the US starts attacking these nations at will, you can forget about this not being a war on Islam, at least to the muslim world.

I really was hoping I would never see WWIII.
2001-10-10 07:29:00 PM  
Acadian: This ISN't a war on Islam, unless Islam is another word for terrorist. From the beginning they have said the terrorists are in many nations...some working covertly, some being supported by the governments. Even in America...and yes, we are currently attacking America also..just not militarily...we are handling that aspect with the FBI and CIA and other law enforcement branches.
We are not gonna be bombing Saudi Arabia's government but rather working with the Saudi's to destroy terrorist outposts...same with other nations...the only trouble we will have is when the government stands in a protective stance over the terrorists...then are we at war with the government also.

It matters little if your "sympathy" for the WAR on TERRORISM is fading...just dont jump in the way and side with cold blooded murderers...else you shall be associated with the crowd you select...All the Islamic nations know get it through your head.
2001-10-10 07:31:06 PM  
oh, and I also was hoping to never see a ww3...or an act of terrorism on anyones soil...or my dog die...or...

shiat happens.
2001-10-10 07:39:15 PM  
2001-10-10 07:40:00 PM  
Well... seeing as there is very likely to be a popular revolution in Pakistan to over throw the military regime there, this whole thing can easily go down hill very quickly.

Lets see...
Islamic Extremists tired of Pakistans support of US attacks against Afghanistan overthrow the government and replace it with a theocratic government like the Taliban. India on that cue increases their military activity in Kashmir, possibly even crossing the border into Pakistan to rid them selfs of Kashmir Seperatists who hide and train in Pakistan. Pakistan lobs a nuke at India, and vice versa.

2001-10-10 08:13:27 PM  
Stupid Farking Taliban supporter setting himself on fire when trying to burn the US flag.

[image from too old to be available]
2001-10-10 08:38:58 PM  

Thanks for the info on those other countries.


Thanks for the crappy headline.
2001-10-10 08:54:32 PM  
Y'all will look back in a year or two ( maybe only a few months from now )and say "911 was the first day of WWIII"
2001-10-10 10:15:05 PM  
'Why wasn't there an Anthrax attack at their offices?'

Did you ever stop for a minute and think that perhaps not all of the employees of NewsMax are republicans? Did it ever occur to you that many of them might be liberals, and *gasp* even socialists? In a time where jobs of a technical nature are difficult to come by people will take a position with a company not for their views, but to make sure they don't default on their mortgage.

Try to think about that before you wish death on someone.
2001-10-10 10:24:46 PM  
Well Canada and France had it coming. Especially France.

They bugged me with their frenchness.
2001-10-10 11:17:25 PM  
Geez, everybody suddenly lose their sense of humor? I thought the headline was hysterical. Kudos, RobbieFal.
2001-10-11 12:15:38 AM  
But it's still okay to wish for the horrible deaths of conservatives? Pheh.
2001-10-11 01:38:27 AM  
Yes and America is full of saints....... Pick a fight with everyone why dont you.
2001-10-11 02:30:09 AM  
"the New York Post reported"...I read that rag every din-dong day on the ferry boat and they haven't had any foreign correspondents in years. So, where did the quote come from?
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