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(SFGate)   It's never a good sign when the prison they send you to has its own condom vending machines   (sfgate.com) divider line 83
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9818 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2010 at 5:27 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-09-08 10:04:34 PM  
And it's even worse when then hang it so low on the wall that you have to bend over to put the coins in.
 
2010-09-08 10:06:41 PM  
It's an even worse sign when someone sends you a prison.
 
2010-09-08 10:07:03 PM  
Will it have a slot to insert cigarettes as payment?
 
2010-09-08 10:09:18 PM  
Send you TO, Subby. The prison they send you TO.

/or to which they send you, if you wanna get all grammary about it.
 
2010-09-08 10:19:40 PM  
qualopec: or to which they send you

We should always strive to use cromulent grammar.

Really, subby, I must disagree w/you. As the cliché on Fark is "PMTIA" prison, I think most of us would want to be protected if surprise buttsecks were to happen.
 
2010-09-08 10:31:19 PM  
Whatever. You can't stop people from f*ckin'. And... that includes prison rape, too, I guess. If they can do something to combat the spread of AIDS and other STDs, then that's something.
 
2010-09-08 11:19:57 PM  
Well if I was going to be raped I'd at least want my rapist to wear a condom... french ticklers, black mambas, crocodile ribs, sheaths designed not only to protect but to enhance the sexual congress...
 
2010-09-08 11:52:03 PM  
Yeah like the guy that rapes you in jail is really gonna stop and "suit up" first. Because after all, it's the considerate thing to do.
 
2010-09-08 11:58:10 PM  
qualopec: Yeah like the guy that rapes you in jail is really gonna stop and "suit up" first. Because after all, it's the considerate thing to do.

You're looking at it from the wrong perspective. If you were in prison and you were gonna f*ck the skinniest, weakest guy there, (because let's face it, that's the only one that you could probably subdue) wouldn't you want to protect yourself from the HIV he probably has?
 
2010-09-09 12:02:00 AM  
qualopec: Yeah like the guy that rapes you in jail is really gonna stop and "suit up" first. Because after all, it's the considerate thing to do.

Despite what you imagine to arouse yourself, the people I've known that have either done time or worked as guards say that the majority of sex that goes on in prison is consensual. Prison rape definitely happens, but it's only a small part.
 
2010-09-09 04:30:41 AM  
Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: qualopec: Yeah like the guy that rapes you in jail is really gonna stop and "suit up" first. Because after all, it's the considerate thing to do.

Despite what you imagine to arouse yourself, the people I've known that have either done time or worked as guards say that the majority of sex that goes on in prison is consensual. Prison rape definitely happens, but it's only a small part.


Well, don't let more carefully gathered information stand in the way of your second-hand anecdote.
 
2010-09-09 05:42:12 AM  
I was gonna get all snarky and obfuscate about when a certain Farker would show up, but then Ghastly graced us with his presence.

I'm oddly comforted by this...
 
2010-09-09 07:31:17 AM  
More proof that it's who you know when it comes to getting an article green-lit. Spelling and grammar be damned. You'd think the mods would at least read it since they are so particular on what gets approved.
 
2010-09-09 07:31:39 AM  
They'll send the deed for cripesake. I didn't expect them to send a whole damn bowling alley prison.
 
2010-09-09 07:32:50 AM  
kmmontandon: It's an even worse sign when someone sends you a prison.

Can you regift a prison? Is it still considered bad etiquette if you don't re-wrap something as large as a prison?
 
2010-09-09 07:33:17 AM  
Ghastly
Well if I was going to be raped I'd at least want my rapist to wear a condom... french ticklers, black mambas, crocodile ribs, sheaths designed not only to protect but to enhance the sexual congress...

That happens in Congress?
 
2010-09-09 07:33:36 AM  
Still waiting for the "I wear ribbed condoms inside-out for MY pleasure" post.
 
2010-09-09 07:36:16 AM  
 
2010-09-09 07:36:40 AM  
Ghastly: Well if I was going to be raped I'd at least want my rapist to wear a condom... french ticklers, black mambas, crocodile ribs, sheaths designed not only to protect but to enhance the sexual congress...

This, totally this. It's called prison RAPE for a reason, it isn't 'prison consensual sex'. Bubba the corpse-raping murderer isn't going to care if he gives you the clap, baby.

Also, DoctorCal, your link made me laugh. The top five prisons where male prison rape occurs are all in Texas. That really says something, I think.
 
2010-09-09 07:45:27 AM  
reported: We should always strive to use cromulent grammar.

Iseewhatyoudidthereblackadder.jpg
 
2010-09-09 07:50:31 AM  
DoctorCal: Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: qualopec: Yeah like the guy that rapes you in jail is really gonna stop and "suit up" first. Because after all, it's the considerate thing to do.

Despite what you imagine to arouse yourself, the people I've known that have either done time or worked as guards say that the majority of sex that goes on in prison is consensual. Prison rape definitely happens, but it's only a small part.

Well, don't let more carefully gathered information stand in the way of your second-hand anecdote.


Whilst that is all well and good, I do believe that it gets trumped by this.
 
2010-09-09 07:51:21 AM  
www.lexibridges.com

Condoms? We don't need no stinking condoms!
 
2010-09-09 07:54:39 AM  
I sense the thread is changing
static.tvguide.com
 
2010-09-09 07:56:45 AM  
I will never understand why people think having sex with other men in prison makes you tough. Just makes you gay.
 
2010-09-09 08:02:03 AM  
The only way you're gonna get raped in COUNTY jail is that you want to get raped.
/Now state and federal prison your ass is up for grabs
 
2010-09-09 08:03:50 AM  
Ghastly: Well if I was going to be raped I'd at least want my rapist to wear a condom... french ticklers, black mambas, crocodile ribs, sheaths designed not only to protect but to enhance the sexual congress...

Have you got one?

i.ytimg.com
 
2010-09-09 08:06:24 AM  
Subby: when the prison they send you


It's a pretty bad sign right off the bat when they're sending the prisons to convicts, instead of sending convicts to prison.
 
2010-09-09 08:06:54 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2010-09-09 08:11:46 AM  
MDGeist: I will never understand why people think having sex with other men in prison makes you tough. Just makes you gay.

Uh, nobody thinks that. They think raping other men in prison makes you tough. Consensual sex is just for fun, since in prison you probably have to get entertainment wherever you can get it.

I think this is a good thing. This is about reducing the spread of STDs, not reducing prison rape (although I do hope they deal with that problem as well).
 
2010-09-09 08:15:50 AM  
DoctorCal: Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: qualopec: Yeah like the guy that rapes you in jail is really gonna stop and "suit up" first. Because after all, it's the considerate thing to do.

Despite what you imagine to arouse yourself, the people I've known that have either done time or worked as guards say that the majority of sex that goes on in prison is consensual. Prison rape definitely happens, but it's only a small part.

Well, don't let more carefully gathered information stand in the way of your second-hand anecdote.


Where in that article does it say rape outnumbers consensual sex?
 
2010-09-09 08:17:47 AM  
d1jeditech: That happens in Congress?

Only when your stance is wide enough
 
2010-09-09 08:20:32 AM  
BlueDuckFarker: Subby: when the prison they send you


It's a pretty bad sign right off the bat when they're sending the prisons to convicts, instead of sending convicts to prison.


Good thing you pointed that out. I read right through that sentance and didn't notice it. I even skiped right through all the other comments before reading yours. Thanks again I hope your messege reaches subby and you can learn his ignorant ass.

/in before welcome to fark meme
 
2010-09-09 08:24:28 AM  
only san francisco would promote something like gay sex in a men's prison
 
2010-09-09 08:26:20 AM  
It's called "safe rape", one day it'll be taught in schools.
 
2010-09-09 08:29:54 AM  
TroyAtUC: BlueDuckFarker: Subby: when the prison they send you


It's a pretty bad sign right off the bat when they're sending the prisons to convicts, instead of sending convicts to prison.

Good thing you pointed that out. I read right through that sentance sentence and didn't notice it. I even skiped skipped right through all the other comments before reading yours. Thanks again I hope your messege reaches subby and you can learn his ignorant ass.

/in before welcome to fark meme


/speling fail
/yes i said speling
 
2010-09-09 08:32:00 AM  
IdBeCrazyIf: d1jeditech: That happens in Congress?

Only when your stance is wide enough


3.bp.blogspot.com

Ahnd de Senate!
De Senatwor fees Weft Oud!
 
2010-09-09 08:41:10 AM  
what? no lube vending machine?

/because men can be a pain in the arse
//or so I've heard
///nttawt
 
2010-09-09 08:43:09 AM  
Stupid brain. Somehow turned the ONE word "prison" into "poison ivy" when I first read the headline.

/obviously has poison ivy...had it for about 2 months...won't go away.
 
2010-09-09 08:44:51 AM  
It's actually a great sign, because it means there are dudes consenting with each other, thereby reducing one's chances of being someone's biatch.
 
2010-09-09 08:59:27 AM  
I hate to be the killjoy on the discussion involving prison rape, but these condom machines are being installed at a county jail.

My understanding is that this rape stuff generally happens at state penetentiaries or federal prison, not at your local lockup.
 
2010-09-09 09:00:03 AM  
So, if you have to go to prison, is it better if you're gay?

I ask this not as a joke, but as an honest question.
 
2010-09-09 09:14:05 AM  
Depends on the jail. Cook County jail is used as a fairly credible threat upon those uncooperative with the police / politeness insurance around here.
 
2010-09-09 09:17:34 AM  
Coconice: So, if you have to go to prison, is it better if you're gay?

I ask this not as a joke, but as an honest question.


No. The sex dynamic in prison is really weird. Going in with the mindset of "oh, I'm gsy so I'll get to have lots of sex" is a great way to become a sex slave. Just because some of the inmates will be willing to have sex doesn't mean they don't still consider themselves straight. It's not really as much of a contradiction as it seems when you consider the Kinsey report. You're creating an environment where incidental homosexuality is the only real option (unless you have conjugal visits with a wife). Now, certainly if you're lucky enough to not only be gay but also have a gay cellmate, and you both get along, well that's great. But prison still isn't fun even if all the cards are in your favor.
 
2010-09-09 09:18:06 AM  
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2010-09-09 09:41:43 AM  
I love this picture in the article. It looks like a condom plotting its escape.

imgs.sfgate.com

What a condom in a prison may look like.
 
2010-09-09 09:49:39 AM  
The Offspring and that "When You're in Prison" song comes to mind for some reason.

/Sorry for my absence, I've been so sick lately that I could barely sit up in a chair.
//And Ghastly made me laugh... Which is bad.
///Been puking for days, sides are sore.
 
2010-09-09 09:52:35 AM  
Next up, Installation changed to include "One Night Stand Mini Packs" that include a rubber, lube and a hanky.
 
2010-09-09 09:57:13 AM  
chickstan: Stupid brain. Somehow turned the ONE word "prison" into "poison ivy" when I first read the headline.

/obviously has poison ivy...had it for about 2 months...won't go away.


Use Absorbine Junior on it...an old aches and pains remedy. It is not advertised to clear up poison ivy, but my experience is that it generally knocks out even very bad cases in a day or so.

The warming sensation also helps with the itching.
 
2010-09-09 10:01:35 AM  
Coconice: So, if you have to go to prison, is it better if you're gay?

I ask this not as a joke, but as an honest question.


You'll probably get raped more because "you like it". And the authorities will turn their back because "you like it."
 
2010-09-09 10:11:40 AM  
J.Garcia'sRightMiddleFinger: It's actually a great sign, because it means there are dudes consenting with each other, thereby reducing one's chances of being someone's biatch.

How does condoms available mean consent?
 
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