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(Daily Mail) Scary Parasailing: more fun than you can stake a chick at   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 37
More: Scary, umbrellas  
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17612 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2010 at 8:09 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
Barfmaker [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 07:20:24 AM
Oh bravo Subby, +1, would LOL again.
 
DreamWeaver
2010-09-08 07:23:41 AM
I lol'd. Bravo
 
gcc
2010-09-08 08:10:15 AM
Winnar
 
Day_Old_Dutchie
2010-09-08 08:12:08 AM
img716.imageshack.us
Derp.
 
excusimfark
2010-09-08 08:12:24 AM
The Taliban? Al Queda?
This was an inside job!
 
Shadow Blasko [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 08:15:43 AM
Wow .. nicely done
 
Balchinian
2010-09-08 08:15:51 AM
Headlines like this make me really wish there was a "Funniest In-Context Headline of the Year" category.

+1 and then some
 
Prank Call of Cthulhu
2010-09-08 08:17:41 AM
Beachgoers watched in horror as White smashed into several umbrellas before slamming into a wooden volleyball pole.

I know it's a chick, but I can't help imagining Homer Simpson getting dragged through a bunch of beach umbrellas.

"D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'OH!!!"
 
Klitch
2010-09-08 08:20:19 AM
I went parasailing in St. Thomas and before I went up I was a little scared, the unknown I guess. Then when I got up there I thought to myself "this is the most boring thing I have ever done. I guess this woman would have opted for the more boring trip like I had.
 
reubendaley
2010-09-08 08:24:14 AM
In before you farkers realise subby's arse has been thoroughly licked and that it's time to turn on the victim . . .

//what the fark was she thinking . . .
 
Ron T Davenport
2010-09-08 08:24:57 AM
Just like my grandmother always said, it's all fun and games until someone is impaled on a beach umbrella.
 
pandabear [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 08:25:50 AM
Oh, good. Very, very good.
 
Tsukari
2010-09-08 08:28:10 AM
Didn't someone use this particular joke last year?
 
12349876
2010-09-08 08:29:39 AM
They still do off the beach parasailing?

That's your problem right there.

Technology. Use it.

www.alohatoystore.com
 
FredaDeStilleto
2010-09-08 08:30:46 AM
Tsukari: Didn't someone use this particular joke last year?

You have an excellent memory (new window).
 
Ender's [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 08:31:39 AM
I like this headline, but, unfortunately, cannot credit Subby for it not having been done before.
 
DammitIForgotMyLogin [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 08:34:04 AM
 
Flab [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 09:07:09 AM
FredaDeStilleto: You have an excellent memory (new window).

Two more:

Another stake a chick at headline. (Headline of the year candidate for 2007)

And a stake a pick at variation on a common theme.
 
abfalter
2010-09-08 09:17:56 AM
Yes, heard it before, but thanks Subby for making me laugh once again. Still well played!
 
DontBeThatGuy [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 09:36:04 AM
great headline

/whether or not it's been used before
 
JNowe
2010-09-08 09:45:15 AM
Holy shiat, that's a great headline.
 
Another Government Employee
2010-09-08 09:48:28 AM
"I had taken 1/2 a Vicodan and was on the beach enjoying a rum drink..."

Bill Engvall.
 
Psycho Zombie Monkey
2010-09-08 09:50:55 AM
Better than this story

Link (new window)
 
reubendaley
2010-09-08 10:12:10 AM
reubendaley

In before you farkers realise subby's arse has been thoroughly licked and that it's time to turn on the victim subby . . .

FTFM
 
NeoBad
2010-09-08 10:12:44 AM
I would have liked to have seen this. Was she pretty? Scantily dressed?

Could be the opening scene of next summer's Jaws replacmenet...."The Wind"
 
MLWS
2010-09-08 10:30:31 AM
All quibbling over the headlines originality aside, I would never consider para-sailing without a a cutoff knife on my person.

If she had had one, she could have cut herself loose while still over the water.

///Yes I dive....with a knife...fishing line and old nets can be a killer.
 
PsychoTherapist
2010-09-08 10:30:50 AM
Recycled headline is recycled ... actually it's still funny. Well done subby.
 
AirForceVet [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 11:55:50 AM
The only time I've gone parasailing, a sudden thunderstorm came up over the mountains (this was in a Tennessee lake). The winds picked up so much, I was dragging the boat. So they signaled me to release the towline. I did and hit the water OK.

But, the wind kept the chute inflated, so it dragged me across the lake at a fair pace. The boat caught up with me and yelled how to collapse the chute (by pulling the center lines going up to the top of the chute). It collapsed and kept me from drowning or worse.

/Safety briefings are important before parasailing.
 
BartJones
2010-09-08 12:35:27 PM
The word 'parasailing' always makes me think of paraplegics going sailing. Pretty close to true this time.
 
DogSlaughter
2010-09-08 12:35:33 PM
AirForceVet: The only time I've gone parasailing, a sudden thunderstorm came up over the mountains (this was in a Tennessee lake). The winds picked up so much, I was dragging the boat. So they signaled me to release the towline. I did and hit the water OK.

But, the wind kept the chute inflated, so it dragged me across the lake at a fair pace. The boat caught up with me and yelled how to collapse the chute (by pulling the center lines going up to the top of the chute). It collapsed and kept me from drowning or worse.

/Safety briefings are important before parasailing.

Cool story, bro. I'm curious which lake you were on.
 
pandabear [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 01:08:42 PM
FredaDeStilleto: You have an excellent memory (new window).

Cited submission has a link to an even earlier use. Trifecta complete.
 
AirForceVet [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 03:39:45 PM
DogSlaughter: AirForceVet: The only time I've gone parasailing, a sudden thunderstorm came up over the mountains (this was in a Tennessee lake). The winds picked up so much, I was dragging the boat. So they signaled me to release the towline. I did and hit the water OK.

But, the wind kept the chute inflated, so it dragged me across the lake at a fair pace. The boat caught up with me and yelled how to collapse the chute (by pulling the center lines going up to the top of the chute). It collapsed and kept me from drowning or worse.

/Safety briefings are important before parasailing.

Cool story, bro. I'm curious which lake you were on.

I was on Center Hill Lake^ on a camping trip, a bit east from Nashville.
 
shiattynick
2010-09-08 04:25:23 PM
Saw a girl in Cancun get caught up in the wind and not be able to come down on the beach, she was hanging up there for twenty minutes or so while the boat kept repositioning so that they could keep her over the beach. When she finally did come down, the boat was closer than they thought and they dumped her on the opposite side of a fence that separated the beach from a bunch of wild, prickly fauna. Good times!
 
This Is Bold Text [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 08:04:06 PM
Pssssshhhh subby stealing my jokes.
 
untaken_name
2010-09-08 08:21:57 PM
FTFA: The Coast Guard and Florida Fish and Wildlife officers have launched an investigation to find out why the tow line connecting the parasail to the boat snapped.

Er, I can tell them the answer. More force was applied to the line than it was capable of withstanding, at least at one specific point. That's just a guess, though.
 
EvilIguana966
2010-09-08 09:53:53 PM
The title of the article says she was impaled yet the text does not seem to support that. What am I missing exactly?
 
Indubitably
2010-09-08 11:16:38 PM
EvilIguana966: The title of the article says she was impaled yet the text does not seem to support that. What am I missing exactly?

Indeed.
 
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