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(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Your wife may be crazy if she tries to to burn your boat, go-kart and Jacuzzi because she didn't like you watching a Jennifer Lopez movie (w/ "yep, penis went there" mugshot)   (nwfdailynews.com) divider line 65
More: Florida, Jacuzzi, Jennifer Lopez, Santa Rosa County, drinking alcohol, boats  
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40446 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2010 at 5:43 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



65 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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ultraholland
2010-09-08 03:49:52 AM
It's that fiery Latin blood
 
Petit_Merdeux [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 03:58:53 AM
"...drinking alcohol..."

/my favorite
 
Gwendolyn [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 04:02:47 AM
I'm pretty sure that is exactly how you are supposed to react after being forced to watch Jennifer Lopez act.
 
Elvis_Bogart [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 04:31:06 AM
Dude needs a haircut. How about showing us the wife?
 
chixdiggit
2010-09-08 04:35:23 AM
She's been beaten with the ugly stick something fierce.
 
RayD8
2010-09-08 04:35:55 AM
I have to side with the wife on this one.
 
NashMcNash
2010-09-08 05:51:29 AM
Guys who still ride go-karts are pretty much limited to the bad-shiat crazy.

Also I got excited when I saw it was from Milton. But then I realized it was Florda, and not West Virginia. Maybe next time.
 
HelenKellersFingers
2010-09-08 05:56:15 AM
Headline: Your wife may be crazy if she tries to to burn your boat, go-kart and Jacuzzi because she didn't like you watching a Jennifer Lopez movie (w/ "yep, penis went there" mugshot)

You said to twice.
 
Razorwolf
2010-09-08 05:59:48 AM
If that husband had seen the hot/crazy scale before they got married, this could have all been avoided.

"Hmm yeah, it says here you're not hot enough to be tolerable at this level of nutjob. Good day, ma'am."
 
Khakimonkey
2010-09-08 06:05:24 AM
She's 34? Wow!

Anyways, I came to say that although I live in a mud hut with no "modern" amenities and right in the middle of the African Jungle, trailer-life is still way below my standards...
 
soosh [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 06:08:19 AM
women be ignitin'
 
Bullroarer_Took
2010-09-08 06:14:02 AM
i607.photobucket.com.
 
Dubai Vol
2010-09-08 06:20:48 AM
I need to see a pic of the kart before I know how to feel about this.
 
Spad31 [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 06:20:49 AM
Wow. Ladies....we love you. Your smell, your feel, your goofy girliness...we love all of it. You rule and we know it. What the fark is wrong with you?
 
yippie_kay_yay_mfer
2010-09-08 06:43:33 AM
Elvis_Bogart: Dude needs a haircut. How about showing us the wife?

...and done in 4
 
NuclearScientist
2010-09-08 06:47:26 AM
She had better fark so good that he's on top of it...
 
cantsleep
2010-09-08 06:54:14 AM
Sensitiveborderarea: She felt a bit insecure about her hubby looking at a hollywood floozy in a movie so she needed to do a few things to draw attention to herself and make herself seem more desirable. And now that her husband's shiny go-cart is all burned up, he probably won't be able to woo the hollywood floozy in real life.

Understandable, nothing turns on a Hollywood floozy like a sharp go cart.
 
Mad-n-FL
2010-09-08 07:15:45 AM
My home town.

Ask me why I moved...

/fail
 
Nuclear Monk
2010-09-08 07:18:24 AM
Did she drain the jacuzzi first, or try to light a pool full of water on fire?

also, a bag or two of cement would have handled all three things without being arrested.
 
CatJumpJohn
2010-09-08 07:21:30 AM
This is pretty much the perfect story for the Florida tag.
 
hobblekitty [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 07:21:33 AM
They actually *watched* a Jennifer Lopez movie? Rly?

/srsly?!
 
stuhayes2010
2010-09-08 07:29:19 AM
Gwendolyn: I'm pretty sure that is exactly how you are supposed to react after being forced to watch Jennifer Lopez act.

We're done here.
 
Another Government Employee
2010-09-08 07:39:17 AM
Husband showed admirable restraint during all of this.

Now, if he could just get a restraining order...
 
Ron T Davenport
2010-09-08 07:39:28 AM
Three words: Taco. Flavored. Kisses.
www.tvgasm.com
 
sniderman
2010-09-08 07:43:32 AM
She probably lost it when he muttered "Yup, right in her pooper" for the 100th time.
 
Thisbymaster
2010-09-08 07:43:59 AM
I am not sure how he stopped himself from finishing the job the ugly stick started.
 
Dialectic
2010-09-08 07:46:02 AM
But her movies suck ass.
 
Quantum Apostrophe
2010-09-08 08:20:45 AM
NashMcNash: Guys who still ride go-karts are pretty much limited to the bad-shiat crazy.

LOL, really? You think that? I've seen the Tony (?) kart races and those guys are all loaded and all have hot chicks with them.
 
zahadum party planner
2010-09-08 08:22:03 AM
"Witnesses also said Shannon punched Robert, but the husband didn't fight back."

Smart man. Don't matter that she's bat shiat crazy, has lit your stuff on fire, is threatening to euthanize your pets and hit you first, if you lay a hand on her, you will be arrested. in most states anyway.
 
cats4rent
2010-09-08 08:26:49 AM
feed her to the gators dude
 
NashMcNash
2010-09-08 08:31:50 AM
Quantum Apostrophe: NashMcNash: Guys who still ride go-karts are pretty much limited to the bad-shiat crazy.

LOL, really? You think that? I've seen the Tony (?) kart races and those guys are all loaded and all have hot chicks with them.

And hot chicks are traditionally bat-shiat crazy.
 
jpat
2010-09-08 08:35:41 AM
She looks like Randy Jackson (from Zebra, not American Idol).
 
SteelPeart
2010-09-08 08:38:54 AM
Y'all done missed this:

"When deputies arrived, they noticed a boat parked in front of a trailer was partially burned. Flames had reached the side of the trailer."
 
big pig peaches
2010-09-08 08:42:35 AM
"When deputies arrived, they noticed a boat parked in front of a trailer was partially burned. Flames had reached the side of the trailer."

Damn, you beat me by 4 minutes
 
Ron T Davenport
2010-09-08 08:42:58 AM
Why do I get the feeling prior to it being set on fire the "boat" looked something like
www.scubatampa.com
 
jynxyu
2010-09-08 08:44:09 AM
images.onset.freedom.com

The penis will be ripped off if it goes there!
 
major_accuracy
2010-09-08 08:45:47 AM
Petit_Merdeux: "...drinking alcohol..."

/my favorite

rlv.zcache.com
 
zerkalo
2010-09-08 09:17:14 AM
I don't know. I'm gonna have to hear what J-Lo movie it was. Judges?
 
sminkypinky
2010-09-08 09:19:01 AM
"attempted to burn his Jacuzzi"

Jeez! How angry do you have to be to try to burn water!
 
TheRaven7
2010-09-08 09:19:28 AM
Women who aren't hot enough to be having sex should be executed without trial.
 
Ron T Davenport
2010-09-08 09:20:10 AM
It's only a mug shot. She could be a butter face with a rockin' body.

/They Mostly Come Out At Night...Mostly
 
landimal
2010-09-08 09:29:23 AM
zerkalo: I don't know. I'm gonna have to hear what J-Lo movie it was. Judges?

Anaconda? The Cell? Only two movies of hers that I could picture a straight male watching.
 
FrylockMastershake
2010-09-08 09:34:14 AM
Ask her, I guarantee she won't admit she's crazy
 
ImRonBurgundy
2010-09-08 09:37:52 AM
Gigli. he deserved worse
 
Surly U. Jest
2010-09-08 09:42:53 AM
It had to be Gigli.
 
landimal
2010-09-08 09:46:58 AM
If it was Gigli he may have been trying to burn his own eyes out and just not doing it right.
 
Coconice
2010-09-08 09:51:14 AM
I've never told anyone that I was someplace "drinking alcohol."

What an odd way to say it.

We were drinking.
We were drinking beer.
We were having some wine.
We had a few drinks.
We had some gin and tonics.
Zaphod made us a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

We were drinking alcohol?
Really? What, did you rob a chem lab?
 
rogue_L_chick
2010-09-08 09:56:32 AM
Was it that movie where she is beautiful and sensitive and clumsy, and falls for a guy who is charming and good-looking? I bet it was that one.
 
caperbear
2010-09-08 10:04:46 AM
www.friedgold.co.uk

happy aniversary
 
Sitting_Duk
2010-09-08 10:12:05 AM
Khakimonkey: She's 34? Wow!

Anyways, I came to say that although I live in a mud hut with no "modern" amenities and right in the middle of the African Jungle, trailer-life is still way below my standards...

Perhaps you missed the fact that he has a boat, jacuzzi and a go-cart. Who needs a nice house, cute wife or stable family relationships when you can have all the awesomeness that owning a go-cart brings?
 
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