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(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Secret Service arrests fraud suspect, discovers $1540 tied to his scrotum with a shoelace. And how big are your balls?   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 38
More: Amusing, witness tampering, religious denomination, arrests  
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7931 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Sep 2010 at 11:29 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
Eyebleach
2010-09-07 11:06:42 PM
In dimes, even.

i52.tinypic.com
 
ShadowWolf
2010-09-07 11:31:45 PM
Why does my $20 smell funny?
 
breakfast_in_bedlam
2010-09-07 11:34:38 PM
Cockring?
 
EvilVanMan
2010-09-07 11:35:53 PM
Had to be large bills, seeing as how I have trouble carrying around more than 10 singles in my wallet without sitting funny.

/10ish, plus other bills
//but I don't carry around that much cash
///seriously!
 
the_chief
2010-09-07 11:37:01 PM
Mine are small. I need to see a doctor.
 
Barakku
2010-09-07 11:38:24 PM
EvilVanMan: Had to be large bills, seeing as how I have trouble carrying around more than 10 singles in my wallet without sitting funny.

/10ish, plus other bills
//but I don't carry around that much cash
///seriously!

You keep your wallet under your balls?
 
phully
2010-09-07 11:41:08 PM
One more reason I have to stop licking my fingers when I count money...
 
Poldana
2010-09-07 11:43:25 PM
Only six comments in and this thread is already full of so much win...
 
fragMasterFlash
2010-09-07 11:44:09 PM
Put your mouth where my money is.
 
LeroyBourne
2010-09-07 11:45:42 PM
Barakku: EvilVanMan: Had to be large bills, seeing as how I have trouble carrying around more than 10 singles in my wallet without sitting funny.

/10ish, plus other bills
//but I don't carry around that much cash
///seriously!

You keep your wallet under your balls?

Yeesh, when I was a kid my dad use to carry his in his sock.
/wallet, not balls.
//looked just as ridiculous.
 
SurgeonDryHog
2010-09-07 11:47:42 PM
My thing is to dip my balls in gold dust and creme fraiche, but I like this guy's style.
 
Mr. Potatoass
2010-09-07 11:48:06 PM
Prison guards found 19 $100 bills up my ass, once.
I told them "I guess that's why I haven't felt too grand, lately."

/Sorry
 
SurgeonDryHog
2010-09-07 11:53:45 PM
Mr. Potatoass: Prison guards found 19 $100 bills up my ass, once.
I told them "I guess that's why I haven't felt too grand, lately."

/Sorry

Your name is Potatoass. Really. Potatoass...
 
Number40
2010-09-07 11:55:04 PM
You magnificent bastids! One and all!
 
Rich Cream [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 12:03:32 AM
So they confiscated the $1000 as drug money?
 
foo monkey
2010-09-08 12:13:07 AM
A month ago, my balls were ENORMOUS.

The downside was, it was because of an MRSA infection on my nutsack.
 
hardinparamedic
2010-09-08 12:18:06 AM
And to think, some men actually pay 1500 dollars to a woman to do this for them. IF ONLY THEY HAD THIS MAN'S INGENUITY!

/Yes, I made a BDSM joke. I went there.
 
TailsAndy
2010-09-08 12:20:24 AM
foo monkey: A month ago, my balls were ENORMOUS.

The downside was, it was because of an MRSA infection on my nutsack.

Fark, man I got one on my side a while back and the agony... I can't imagine the pain from one in the sack. I'd have kept myself in the hospital on many drugs until it was impossible for me to feel it anymore.

/fark, man
//fark
 
ShadowWolf
2010-09-08 12:20:45 AM
Whats the difference between Beer nuts and Deer nuts?

Beer Nuts are $1.02
Deer Nuts are just under a buck.
 
CreamFilling
2010-09-08 12:21:28 AM
The suspect is being held in custody in a slatted wooden chair.

/so very scared
 
Loucifer
2010-09-08 12:53:24 AM
HAHAHAHA! While you're busily watching out for his scrote-dollars, you'll never see my ass-pennies coming.
 
Foundling
2010-09-08 01:02:30 AM
(to the tune of "Turkey in the Straw"):
Do your balls hang low?
Do they dangle to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?

(you're welcome!)
 
RayD8
2010-09-08 01:06:05 AM
LeroyBourne: Barakku: EvilVanMan: Had to be large bills, seeing as how I have trouble carrying around more than 10 singles in my wallet without sitting funny.

/10ish, plus other bills
//but I don't carry around that much cash
///seriously!

You keep your wallet under your balls?

Yeesh, when I was a kid my dad use to carry his in his sock.
/wallet, not balls.
//looked just as ridiculous.

Where did he put the sock?
 
blather_wince_repeat
2010-09-08 01:06:22 AM
That's nothing. Last week our department arrested a guy hiding 8 crack rocks in his foreskin.

Then he tried to dispose of evidence by swallowing it.


blaaargh!
 
MrFi5ter
2010-09-08 01:25:58 AM
My balls are big but I sure couldn't tie 1001.3650 pounds to my scrotum.
 
Trucker
2010-09-08 01:37:18 AM
"Whats in your wallet jockstrap?"
 
texastag
2010-09-08 01:50:38 AM
Foundling: (to the tune of "Turkey in the Straw"):
Do your balls hang low?
Do they dangle to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?

(you're welcome!)

Thanks. I came in for this.

/Mine are like a continental soldier
 
zzrhardy
2010-09-08 02:32:15 AM
I once tried to hide a 5 cent peice in my jocks but it obscured my balls...
 
hardinparamedic
2010-09-08 03:00:20 AM
Gridlock: Type "Ball Stretching" in GOOGLE if you want to see how the crazy pros do the deed.

This, of course, is about men's testicular sacs being banded and then stretched. Obviously -- NOT SAFE FOR WORK (NSFW).

// You're on your own now.

I came.
 
cretinbob [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 03:15:37 AM
about tree fiddy
 
Ron T Davenport
2010-09-08 07:07:55 AM
cretinbob: about tree fiddy

en.wikivisual.com
 
poot_rootbeer
2010-09-08 07:42:40 AM
foo monkey: A month ago, my balls were ENORMOUS.

The downside was, it was because of an MRSA infection on my nutsack.

Does MR. A know she's carrying?
 
Charles Martel
2010-09-08 08:36:13 AM
I like the old orange and black format of TSG much better.
 
xCO2MANx
2010-09-08 08:56:01 AM
No I said I am gonna need THAT wad!
 
I_AM_SRC [TotalFark]
2010-09-08 09:35:53 AM
He's got (had.. sniffle) the biggest of them all.
www.taste-of-black.ch
 
foo monkey
2010-09-08 10:02:12 AM
TailsAndy: foo monkey: A month ago, my balls were ENORMOUS.

The downside was, it was because of an MRSA infection on my nutsack.

Fark, man I got one on my side a while back and the agony... I can't imagine the pain from one in the sack. I'd have kept myself in the hospital on many drugs until it was impossible for me to feel it anymore.

/fark, man
//fark

It was the most physically painful experience of my life. I will never again question my threshold for pain.
 
ranfour
2010-09-08 03:20:59 PM
Iron Egg?

Kinda NSFW.

Link (new window)
 
VictorOfBorge
2010-09-08 05:00:49 PM
Depending on how tight that shoe lace was tied, He went from bass to baritone to tenor!
 
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