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Helicopter parent crashes, jailbreaking DNA, and the fit has hit the Shan: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week from 8/29 - 9/4 
Posted by Drew at 2010-09-07 4:06:09 PM (14 comments) | Permalink
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4470 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Sep 2010 at 4:08 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, so enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-08-29 to Sat 2010-09-04:

   Woman dies in helicopter parent crash    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is rape, and I am the sun    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Wife of trapped miner finds another hole he was stuck in    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Chinese officials are forcing families with the last name "Shan" to change it, because it requires a character that can't be typed in standard word-processing programs. In fact, you might say, the fit has hit the Shan    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Tapped Chilean miner sends wedding proposal to his sweetheart. Article is useless without picks    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Magistrate decrees logodaedaelian hoosegow cageling may retain his thesaurus. You presented this typescript with a more frumptuous epigraph    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Sheen from yesterday's oil rig explosion downgraded to Estevez    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Truck smashes into apartment building. I guess it's a flat now    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   How Christians spoil sex: An alternative view from a missionary's position    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Thousands protest French crackdown on Gypsies. In other news, French President Nicolas Sarkozy is beginning to look ...thinner    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Amana-ccused of throwing air conditioner at police after Rheeming his frigid heir. Tag is for subby    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Sports:

   Favre last night: 0 TDs, 2 INTs. Love him or hate him, it's impressive he can miss all of training camp and be right in playoff form    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Seven-year-old boy attends nearly 500 Orioles games, enjoying dozens of wins    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Jacksonville State, led by a true freshman QB, comes back from 21 to win at Ole Miss. Apparently, Masoli couldn't steal the game    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Geek:

   Geneticists jailbreak apple DNA    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Breast, ovary removal cuts cancer risk. In other exciting news, leg amputation reduces risk of ACL injuries    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Bacteria controlled by magnets build a tiny pyramid, start sacrificing protozoa to Ra    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Showbiz:

   Christina Hendricks' dress once again wins best role in supporting an actress    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Jennifer Grey worried about competing on "Dancing with the Stars," being put in a corner    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Robert Pattinson was almost crushed to death by an elephant last week. Shockingly, it doesn't involve his Twilight fanbase    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Politics:

   U.S. disappointed at Israel's leading ultra-Orthodox party, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, for saying all Palestinians should perish. U.S. asks that Israel check Yosef before he wrecks himsef    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Jesse Jackson shows up at rally for green jobs in an Escalade, is dismayed to discover that auto theft is carbon neutral    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Obama says his economic policies halted "bleeding," all but assuring adviser Tim Geithner will win the Nobel Tampon for economics    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Music:

   I don't know what's worse, the fact that someone suckered in hundreds of people with bogus Take That tickets, or that hundreds of people want to see Take That desperately enough    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Seen another darned liszt of things that depress you? No need for haydn, you can handel it. Just bach it all off with the Mozart Effect    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Coming soon to a store near you: The Rolling Stones Monopoly. Go directly to jail, do not pass Altamont, do not collect $200    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Business:

   Toyota recalls the Matrix. Whoa. Déjà vu    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Drake University's new "D+" logo shows you may not want to base an advertising campaign on the polling of high school students    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

   Kia recalls 56,000 Souls. Let the Reaping begin    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]
· · ·
(view entire blog)


14 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2010-09-07 04:14:15 PM  
Has Drew been hanging with Zombie Castro?
/I kid!
 
2010-09-07 04:14:25 PM  
I feel bad for that woman who died in the dorm room. Her daughter has cerebral palsy and needs help. She was just doing what she had been doing for years.

Very sad.

/Boobies!
 
2010-09-07 04:15:05 PM  
Damn!
 
2010-09-07 04:21:08 PM  
No update regarding the Crack.com partnership?
 
2010-09-07 04:22:18 PM  
I made HOTW? Neat.
 
2010-09-07 04:28:36 PM  
OMFG. The Kia recall headline is amazing. I haven't laughed that hard for a long, long time.
 
2010-09-07 04:32:45 PM  
AnthraxRipple: I made HOTW? Neat.

Feels good huh. Congrats.
 
2010-09-07 04:34:49 PM  
AnthraxRipple: I made HOTW? Neat.

Congrats!
 
2010-09-07 04:45:25 PM  
U.S. asks that Israel check Yosef before he wrecks himsef

OK, that's farkin' funny
 
2010-09-07 04:59:36 PM  
I must admit the Sheen/Estevez headline had me giggling.
 
2010-09-07 05:10:47 PM  
Damn. Two in one week.
This unemployment thing is really paying off!

Not mine, but A++ on the Kia.
 
2010-09-07 05:14:15 PM  
netweavr: No update regarding the Crack.com partnership?

You seriously expect one?
 
2010-09-07 05:52:45 PM  
Holy crap I made the list. All those years of forcing the mods to redlight my horrible puns has been totally worth it.
 
2010-09-07 09:10:40 PM  
Wait! no retweet? that was funny.
 
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