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(APP.com) Asinine HOA removes 150-year-old headstones from local graveyard because they didn't conform to standards. To be replaced by white placards flush to the ground, killer clown dolls, and child-abducting TV sets   (app.com) divider line 240
More: Asinine, HOA, Association of Baptist Churches in Ireland, committeemen, killer clown, posters, Holmdel, standards  
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14528 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Sep 2010 at 4:59 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2010-09-07 12:32:18 PM
HOA's are evil, pure and simple, from the 8th dimension. That is all you ever need to know.
 
2010-09-07 12:36:46 PM
Whatever. He's married to Beyonce so he can do what he wants.
 
2010-09-07 12:38:25 PM
How the fark can an HOA have this sort of power?!
 
2010-09-07 12:40:03 PM
They weren't painted in approved colonial colors...

Wrong_Intentions: How the fark can an HOA have this sort of power?!

They probably made the cemetery part of the "common ground" of the HOA parcel...
 
2010-09-07 12:50:02 PM
Those people shouldn't have died in an area that would later be filled with anal retentive uptight busybodies.
 
2010-09-07 12:51:09 PM
Wrong_Intentions: How the fark can an HOA have this sort of power?!

But Beau Ridge Association president Edward Esler said everything was done by the letter of the association's laws.

"There's no story here," Esler said. "By the bylaws of our organization, we are required to maintain that area, which was done when the place was built 25 years ago and is being done now. Everything we've done has been done to the letter of the law."


That's an idea of the immense egos of a group like that. We passed rules saying we can do this, so we can do this.
 
2010-09-07 12:51:58 PM
True Story:

Part of my job this summer was traveling to cemeteries this summer to map out their UTM coordinates. This is part of a law passed a few years ago by the state after some issues with developers. Developers were buying up farm land to put up crappy McMansions and discovering old family burial plots, which are really common around here, and rather than moving the remains, would just pour the foundation or road right over them. Hopefully now that we are getting all the coordinates, we can force them to treat the remains respectfully.
 
2010-09-07 01:15:24 PM
the problem is they will apologize, maybe pay a small fine, but in the end get their way, unless the town and locals pressure them to put these back!
 
2010-09-07 01:21:35 PM
playblu: That's an idea of the immense egos of a group like that. We passed rules saying we can do this, so we can do this.

HOA are useless unless you have some common ground that must be maintained. If you have playgrounds, pools, or a commons building anything the HOA would do can be done with one phone call to the city. Hell I got elected to my HOA just so I could vote against any action
 
2010-09-07 01:35:27 PM
I don't believe we shouldn't be wasting valuable land by burying carcasses, but that's just wrong.
 
2010-09-07 01:35:29 PM
Wait, what? I thought the cemetery wouldn't be subject to the HOA since it was around before the HOA came about.

/HOAs are unnecessary unless you live in a condo.
 
2010-09-07 01:35:54 PM
You didn't remove the bodies!

That was on TV just the other day. Awesome movie. I work in CGI but I admit the conventional FX were incredible. And JoBeth Williams was a MILF. Too bad so many actors in those movies died. Creepy.
 
2010-09-07 01:38:52 PM
Opponents could probably get Craig T. Nelson to dress up as a ghost and "haunt" the HOA members for a very, very affordable rate right now.
 
2010-09-07 02:12:12 PM
FTA: "It's now flatlands, like grass seed," Wall noted. "Are we now that culturally bankrupt to remove historical gravestones?"

Yes, Mr. Wall. We are that culturally bankrupt.
 
2010-09-07 02:24:15 PM
Mugato: You didn't remove the bodies!

That was on TV just the other day. Awesome movie. I work in CGI but I admit the conventional FX were incredible. And JoBeth Williams was a MILF. Too bad so many actors in those movies died. Creepy.


I watched it too, and yes, yes she certainly was. Running around in her little shorts just to get me hot. That little minx.
 
2010-09-07 02:24:46 PM
Unless the cemetery residents signed a contract with the HOA, the HOA can bite their wormy carcasses.
 
2010-09-07 02:27:37 PM
That really is twisted that an HOA can do that.
 
2010-09-07 02:36:21 PM
Donald_McRonald: Whatever. He's married to Beyonce so he can do what he wants.

That was probably my loudest laugh of the week. Thank you for that.
 
2010-09-07 02:46:13 PM
The article doesn't say who the people in the graveyard actually were. But if the headstones were 150 years old, then it's a cinch that they lived in a simpler and more moral time, when people were more outwardly devoted to the tenets of capitalism and to the man who died on the cross to protect the American way of life. These souls know what's going on. They understand. They know that there are property values to be protected. And I'm sure that they're smiling down on us this day from the heavens above, and that they're saying "Ya done good, fellas. Ya done good."
 
2010-09-07 02:47:15 PM
I really, really hope there's some sort of afterlife, because my "things to haunt the shiat out of" list seems to grow by the minute.
 
2010-09-07 03:04:49 PM
Cagey B: I really, really hope there's some sort of afterlife, because my "things to haunt the shiat out of" list seems to grow by the minute.

There is, and he is waiting:

img842.imageshack.us
 
2010-09-07 03:05:14 PM
If anyone is able to buy a home in today's market it would be in their best interest to obtain a copy of the HOA bylaws, if any, and read them before signing any contract. If the HOA will not let you read before you buy then go elsewhere. There is a 12 - 18 month inventory of new homes in the country and about the same amount of older homes. It's a buyer's market, if there are any buyers.
 
2010-09-07 03:17:54 PM
teto85: If anyone is able to buy a home in today's market it would be in their best interest to obtain a copy of the HOA bylaws, if any, and read them before signing any contract. If the HOA will not let you read before you buy then go elsewhere. There is a 12 - 18 month inventory of new homes in the country and about the same amount of older homes. It's a buyer's market, if there are any buyers.

An HOA cropped up a few years AFTER I bought my home and I'm continually pressured to join. Screw them--I don't use the private beach down the road so why should I pay dues? And now, just to make their life miserable, I seeded my lawn w/Dutch White Clover instead of grass (well, mostly because only the most expensive grass seed would even take hold & clover was 1/10 the price, but pissing off the HOA was certainly an added motivation.) Plus, I can put up as many Halloween decorations as I want (The HOA limits it to 1 large inflatable and some "suggested" decorations. No cobwebs, gravestones, skeletons, or jack-o-lanterns. And DEFINITELY no fog machines. Guess which house is the most popular...)
 
2010-09-07 03:24:58 PM
I'd really like to see someone come in and defend the HOA on this one. The resulting epic beatdown would make my day.
 
2010-09-07 03:44:29 PM
I'd really like to see someone come in and defend the HOA on this one. The resulting epic beatdown would make my day.

*clears throat*

I hear Barack Obama is a big supporter of homeowners associations because it's just great when a community gets together and organises.

There you go - that should bring the usual suspects in.
 
2010-09-07 03:49:21 PM
brigid_fitch: An HOA cropped up a few years AFTER I bought my home and I'm continually pressured to join. Screw them--I don't use the private beach down the road so why should I pay dues? And now, just to make their life miserable, I seeded my lawn w/Dutch White Clover instead of grass (well, mostly because only the most expensive grass seed would even take hold & clover was 1/10 the price, but pissing off the HOA was certainly an added motivation.) Plus, I can put up as many Halloween decorations as I want (The HOA limits it to 1 large inflatable and some "suggested" decorations. No cobwebs, gravestones, skeletons, or jack-o-lanterns. And DEFINITELY no fog machines. Guess which house is the most popular...)

Congratulations... you are officially my hero.
 
2010-09-07 04:07:34 PM
Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: discovering old family burial plots, which are really common around here, and rather than moving the remains, would just pour the foundation or road right over them

www.joblo.com
 
2010-09-07 04:08:12 PM
brigid_fitch: Plus, I can put up as many Halloween decorations as I want

Ok, right there? That's farking horseshiat. I can understand a HOA telling its members not to install a windmill or a pool on the front lawn, and making sure that your house stays reasonably well maintained, but HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS???

In what FARKING WAY does your neighbors Halloween decorations effect your life?
 
2010-09-07 04:09:38 PM
what_now: brigid_fitch: Plus, I can put up as many Halloween decorations as I want

Ok, right there? That's farking horseshiat. I can understand a HOA telling its members not to install a windmill or a pool on the front lawn, and making sure that your house stays reasonably well maintained, but HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS???

In what FARKING WAY does your neighbors Halloween decorations effect your life?


You've not experiencing the corrupting influence of power, have you?

I have. But I enjoyed doing whatever she told me to do!
 
2010-09-07 04:26:38 PM
Isn't there some sort of... grandfather clause?
 
2010-09-07 05:01:17 PM
Well here's a novel farking idea: If you want a plot of land not to be developed, ever, don't sell the farking thing.
And if you do choose to sell it, then shut the fark up; you've lost all moral righteousness to do so.
 
2010-09-07 05:02:10 PM
Donald_McRonald: Whatever. He's married to Beyonce so he can do what he wants.

No, no, he goes by "HPOA".
 
2010-09-07 05:03:55 PM
If you're fat don't get ill...
 
2010-09-07 05:04:44 PM
AdolfOliverPanties: Mugato: You didn't remove the bodies!

That was on TV just the other day. Awesome movie. I work in CGI but I admit the conventional FX were incredible. And JoBeth Williams was a MILF. Too bad so many actors in those movies died. Creepy.

I watched it too, and yes, yes she certainly was. Running around in her little shorts just to get me hot. That little minx.


Nekkid in "Kramer vs Kramer", striptease in "Teachers"....

/I'll be in my bunk
 
2010-09-07 05:05:10 PM
FTA "There's no story here," Esler said. "...Everything we've done has been done to the letter of the law."

The story is about how farking stupid your laws are, dumbass.
 
2010-09-07 05:05:56 PM
How farking disgusting. Those HOA things are WAY out of control. How dare they destroy 150 year old memorials to the dead, just so the area would fit into their tacky design scheme.

Shameful, shameful, shameful.
 
2010-09-07 05:06:21 PM
Well, personally I would never buy a home in an HOA-controlled area. But, if it were one of my ancestor's headstones that Edward Esler feels fully justified in destroying, I'd be digging a shallow grave for that pr!ck.
 
2010-09-07 05:06:42 PM
That HOA is now cursed.
 
2010-09-07 05:07:45 PM
This is what happens when you let old stupid retirees with nothing better to do rule how people in a community live.

What was so wrong with death panels again?
 
2010-09-07 05:07:47 PM
Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: True Story:

Part of my job this summer was traveling to cemeteries this summer to map out their UTM coordinates. This is part of a law passed a few years ago by the state after some issues with developers. Developers were buying up farm land to put up crappy McMansions and discovering old family burial plots, which are really common around here, and rather than moving the remains, would just pour the foundation or road right over them. Hopefully now that we are getting all the coordinates, we can force them to treat the remains respectfully.


www.i-mockery.com
 
2010-09-07 05:08:31 PM
Degreeless, thanks for the nightmares.
 
2010-09-07 05:10:16 PM
Calmamity: Isn't there some sort of... grandfather clause?

10/10
 
2010-09-07 05:10:19 PM
This makes me so very sad, my son and I have always had a fascination with cemeteries (new and old, mostly old though) and have started blogging about them
beyondthecemeterygates (new window)

/OK go ahead, I open the floor to ridicule, to be fair, it is me and my 15 yr old sons (and we havent updated in a while cause it has been to freaking hot here in Oklahoma to go explore and take pics)
 
2010-09-07 05:10:26 PM
I can only guess that the cemetery had been decommissioned many around the time the housing went in and is "not considered of historical value" by the authorities.

That's the only set of circumstances I can imagine an HOA would be ballsy and inconsiderate enough to attempt this.

That or city officials are getting kickbacks from or have familial connections to the developer.
 
2010-09-07 05:10:39 PM
brigid_fitch: teto85: If anyone is able to buy a home in today's market it would be in their best interest to obtain a copy of the HOA bylaws, if any, and read them before signing any contract. If the HOA will not let you read before you buy then go elsewhere. There is a 12 - 18 month inventory of new homes in the country and about the same amount of older homes. It's a buyer's market, if there are any buyers.

An HOA cropped up a few years AFTER I bought my home and I'm continually pressured to join. Screw them--I don't use the private beach down the road so why should I pay dues? And now, just to make their life miserable, I seeded my lawn w/Dutch White Clover instead of grass (well, mostly because only the most expensive grass seed would even take hold & clover was 1/10 the price, but pissing off the HOA was certainly an added motivation.) Plus, I can put up as many Halloween decorations as I want (The HOA limits it to 1 large inflatable and some "suggested" decorations. No cobwebs, gravestones, skeletons, or jack-o-lanterns. And DEFINITELY no fog machines. Guess which house is the most popular...)


Like what are they gonna do about it, you were around before they even existed.
 
2010-09-07 05:10:39 PM
Personally, I think that all graveyards should be dug up, the remains be cremated to fertilize the land, and the names put on a nice, space-saving wall nearby so the plot can actually be put to some use other than storing dead people who aren't around to give a crap.

/Artificially mummifying your grandmother with toxic chemicals in a concrete-encased sarcophagus is creepy as hell.
//Putting hundreds of them in one place is even creepier.
 
2010-09-07 05:11:28 PM
Calmamity: Isn't there some sort of... grandfather clause?

I'm wondering this, myself. The cemetery obviously predates the development that went up around it, so how does the HOA get the authority to do anything with it?

I am not a-- oh, wait. I am a lawyer, and I'd love to see how the HOA derives it's authority over this graveyard.
 
2010-09-07 05:12:03 PM
ChrisSuperstar: How farking disgusting. Those HOA things are WAY out of control. How dare they destroy 150 year old memorials to the dead, just so the area would fit into their tacky design scheme.

Shameful, shameful, shameful.


Agreed, HOA's have been out of control for long enough someone with money needs to take them to court.
 
2010-09-07 05:12:44 PM
Who does that kind of thing? That's absurd.
 
2010-09-07 05:13:28 PM
illicit: Personally, I think that all graveyards should be dug up, the remains be cremated to fertilize the land, and the names put on a nice, space-saving wall nearby so the plot can actually be put to some use other than storing dead people who aren't around to give a crap.

/Artificially mummifying your grandmother with toxic chemicals in a concrete-encased sarcophagus is creepy as hell.
//Putting hundreds of them in one place is even creepier.


This. Our funerary customs are really farked up.
 
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