If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WBTV) Amusing News: Woman breaks husband's nose. Strange: follows up assault with breaking-and-entering a middle school. Fark: Naked (with do-not-want pic)   (wbtv.com) divider line 41
More: Amusing  
•       •       •

16123 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Sep 2010 at 4:11 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
jehovahs witness protection [TotalFark]
2010-09-07 12:36:02 PM
I dunno...clean her up, give back her dentures and hand me a bottle of Jack Daniels.
 
dark side of the moon [TotalFark]
2010-09-07 12:49:56 PM
Click image to enlarge

Uh, no thanks.
 
tnpir [TotalFark]
2010-09-07 12:59:13 PM
jehovahs witness protection: I dunno...clean her up, give back her dentures and hand me a bottle of Jack Daniels.

If it means I don't have to think about her, I'll hand you anything you want.
 
Sybarite [TotalFark]
2010-09-07 01:29:17 PM
The woman allegedly punched her husband in the face breaking his nose and causing injury to his eye.

Police said she then jumped out of the truck and walked away naked.


I am still very confused.
 
SilentStrider [TotalFark]
2010-09-07 03:19:01 PM
GAH!
 
I_Am_Weasel [TotalFark]
2010-09-07 03:25:15 PM
Injury to his eye?

Lucky bastard.
 
Orgasmatron138
2010-09-07 04:14:19 PM
That's not a woman, that's Chris Cooper. And he stole Zack Morris' hair.
 
LordSunder
2010-09-07 04:14:27 PM
FTFA "They say she later broke into the school which set off all kinds of alarms."

"All kinds." Really? Who wrote this, a 15 year old?
 
Dixie_Wrecked
2010-09-07 04:15:02 PM
I can't fap to this pic.
 
Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii
2010-09-07 04:16:31 PM
Sybarite: The woman allegedly punched her husband in the face breaking his nose and causing injury to his eye.

Police said she then jumped out of the truck and walked away naked.


I am still very confused.

Judging by the looks of her, she did him a favor when she punched him in the eye.
 
sboyle1020
2010-09-07 04:18:22 PM
Joe Theismann?
 
Lincey
2010-09-07 04:18:51 PM
*looks at pic*

img830.imageshack.us
 
Squid Pro Quo
2010-09-07 04:18:57 PM
Jeez, Goddess Heather has really let herself go.
 
Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii
2010-09-07 04:20:19 PM
LordSunder: FTFA "They say she later broke into the school which set off all kinds of alarms."

"All kinds." Really? Who wrote this, a 15 year old?


Probably. I want to know if she set off the fire alarm, or the carbon monodixe alarm. If not, the "all kinds of alarms" claim is a little misleading.
 
airsupport
2010-09-07 04:22:37 PM
Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii: LordSunder: FTFA "They say she later broke into the school which set off all kinds of alarms."

"All kinds." Really? Who wrote this, a 15 year old?


Probably. I want to know if she set off the fire alarm, or the carbon monodixe alarm. If not, the "all kinds of alarms" claim is a little misleading.

Came here to make this joke, basically, with the addition of the ground proximity alarm and the low cabin pressure alarm. I leave an also-ran.
 
cgw_niu
2010-09-07 04:22:47 PM
Lincey: *looks at pic*

ROFLMAO
 
dv-ous
2010-09-07 04:23:03 PM
I sometimes wonder if I'll have any warning before I snap and become completely irrational.

Will I also try to break into a school while naked? Or will I be found by the side of the road nude, smeared in my own feces? Will there be weapons involved?

Why do these people always end up naked somehow?
 
LeroyBourne
2010-09-07 04:24:53 PM
I wouldn't marry a women that could deliver a blow like that.
/no pun intended. or did i?
 
FSUpaintball
2010-09-07 04:24:53 PM
I sometimes wonder what people like her looked like when the were, say, 20-ish.
 
Thud'nBlunder [TotalFark]
2010-09-07 04:25:14 PM
Do Not Want... her to punch me in the nose. Looky the neck muscles on that beast. And no lips.
 
interluder
2010-09-07 04:32:12 PM
"Where can I find a woman like that, like
Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I want,
I want Jessie's girl"

You are most welcome for the ear turd.
 
D_Evans45
2010-09-07 04:34:20 PM
jehovahs witness protection: I dunno...clean her up, give back her dentures and hand me a bottle of Jack Daniels.


Dude, I'm a fuhking drunk drunk, hrell Im drunk right now, and I wouldnt hit that with Rosie O Donells dick.
 
DPSturm
2010-09-07 04:36:07 PM
The only thing at that school gettin pounded is the erasers
 
Rufus Lee King [TotalFark]
2010-09-07 04:37:39 PM
LordSunder: FTFA "They say she later broke into the school which set off all kinds of alarms."

"All kinds." Really? Who wrote this, a 15 year old?

Could be a Jewish writer. "Nu? Vot's all the noise, already? There are all kinds alarms going off here!"
 
Multiple_Sargasms
2010-09-07 04:37:50 PM
Mom?
 
Noobian Noob
2010-09-07 04:41:56 PM
dv-ous: I sometimes wonder if I'll have any warning before I snap and become completely irrational.

Will I also try to break into a school while naked? Or will I be found by the side of the road nude, smeared in my own feces? Will there be weapons involved?

Why do these people always end up naked somehow?

because the clothes hold the crazy in. you have to lose the clothes to really be free
 
unclemongo
2010-09-07 04:49:20 PM
I work for the company that runs one of WBTV's competitor's sites. When the writers at our site do crap jobs, we threaten to send them there. It has thus far been an effective threat.
 
ShamanGator
2010-09-07 04:57:14 PM
All I got from that story is other guys wife's ride around naked with them. I need to have a talk with my wife this evening.

//thank god she looks better than the gal in the article
///and she already finished school
 
tallguywithglasseson [TotalFark]
2010-09-07 04:59:37 PM
Police said Shields "has a bad case of selected memory"
 
cig-mkr
2010-09-07 05:06:23 PM
Pfffttt, just another day in Charlotte. Glad I live in the country.
 
OgreMagi
2010-09-07 05:21:59 PM
If this had happened here in California the husband would have been thrown in jail for domestic violence.
 
SLCBreeze
2010-09-07 05:37:04 PM
D_Evans45: jehovahs witness protection: I dunno...clean her up, give back her dentures and hand me a bottle of Jack Daniels.


Dude, I'm a fuhking drunk drunk, hrell Im drunk right now, and I wouldnt hit that with Rosie O Donells dick.

Not even if you were at a bi-sexual bridal shower?
 
CrankMyBlueSax
2010-09-07 05:38:48 PM
Dude looks like a lady.
 
mandyer
2010-09-07 06:06:17 PM
DPSturm: The only thing at that school gettin pounded is the erasers

My Aunt used to teach there. There were plenty of 9s and 10s fresh out of college on the faculty there.

/This sounds like typical drunken, crazy Ballantyne cokehead wife behavior.
 
kevinboehm
2010-09-07 06:47:20 PM
I don't understand why Gordon Ramsay's picture is in this article.
 
elev8meL8r
2010-09-07 07:45:29 PM
tallguywithglasseson: Police said Shields "has a bad case of selected memory"

Yeah, what the hell does that even mean?

If I could pick and choose my memories, the memory of imagining that chick naked would not be one of my keepers.
 
Mtop18
2010-09-07 07:46:23 PM
"Janice Shields, 58, told cops she went to a party with her husband and later found herself waking up naked in the school."

Sounds like she sobered up, discovered he was renting her out by the minute at the party, and cracked him one in the face. Then she got all self-destruct-y and sad, and broke into the school to be "rescued" by a prince-like policeman, thus completing the Disneyesque princess drunk act.

The Aristocrats!
 
cousndick
2010-09-07 08:21:02 PM
*Ugh*

Looks like she should be labeled the hidden boss of the internet.
 
hobblekitty [TotalFark]
2010-09-07 09:44:29 PM
LordSunder: FTFA "They say she later broke into the school which set off all kinds of alarms."

"All kinds." Really? Who wrote this, a 15 year old?

Considering most news articles are written at a 4th grade reading level, probably more like 10, maybe 11 or 12 if they were left back a year.
 
Hop-Frog
2010-09-07 11:20:42 PM
Mama knows how to party, y'all.

/shudder
 
markcant
2010-09-08 12:59:51 AM
At this rate, we here in NC are gonna need our own tag. And I came here from Florida to get away from tags.
 
Displayed 41 of 41 comments

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
From the Fark Shop:
More from the Fark Shop »