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(WBTV) Amusing News: Woman breaks husband's nose. Strange: follows up assault with breaking-and-entering a middle school. Fark: Naked (with do-not-want pic)   (wbtv.com) divider line 41
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16123 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Sep 2010 at 4:11 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-09-07 12:36:02 PM
I dunno...clean her up, give back her dentures and hand me a bottle of Jack Daniels.
 
2010-09-07 12:49:56 PM
Click image to enlarge

Uh, no thanks.
 
2010-09-07 12:59:13 PM
jehovahs witness protection: I dunno...clean her up, give back her dentures and hand me a bottle of Jack Daniels.

If it means I don't have to think about her, I'll hand you anything you want.
 
2010-09-07 01:29:17 PM
The woman allegedly punched her husband in the face breaking his nose and causing injury to his eye.

Police said she then jumped out of the truck and walked away naked.



I am still very confused.
 
2010-09-07 03:19:01 PM
GAH!
 
2010-09-07 03:25:15 PM
Injury to his eye?

Lucky bastard.
 
2010-09-07 04:14:19 PM
That's not a woman, that's Chris Cooper. And he stole Zack Morris' hair.
 
2010-09-07 04:14:27 PM
FTFA "They say she later broke into the school which set off all kinds of alarms."

"All kinds." Really? Who wrote this, a 15 year old?
 
2010-09-07 04:15:02 PM
I can't fap to this pic.
 
2010-09-07 04:16:31 PM
Sybarite: The woman allegedly punched her husband in the face breaking his nose and causing injury to his eye.

Police said she then jumped out of the truck and walked away naked.


I am still very confused.


Judging by the looks of her, she did him a favor when she punched him in the eye.
 
2010-09-07 04:18:22 PM
Joe Theismann?
 
2010-09-07 04:18:51 PM
*looks at pic*

img830.imageshack.us
 
2010-09-07 04:18:57 PM
Jeez, Goddess Heather has really let herself go.
 
2010-09-07 04:20:19 PM
LordSunder: FTFA "They say she later broke into the school which set off all kinds of alarms."

"All kinds." Really? Who wrote this, a 15 year old?



Probably. I want to know if she set off the fire alarm, or the carbon monodixe alarm. If not, the "all kinds of alarms" claim is a little misleading.
 
2010-09-07 04:22:37 PM
Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii: LordSunder: FTFA "They say she later broke into the school which set off all kinds of alarms."

"All kinds." Really? Who wrote this, a 15 year old?


Probably. I want to know if she set off the fire alarm, or the carbon monodixe alarm. If not, the "all kinds of alarms" claim is a little misleading.


Came here to make this joke, basically, with the addition of the ground proximity alarm and the low cabin pressure alarm. I leave an also-ran.
 
2010-09-07 04:22:47 PM
Lincey: *looks at pic*

ROFLMAO
 
2010-09-07 04:23:03 PM
I sometimes wonder if I'll have any warning before I snap and become completely irrational.

Will I also try to break into a school while naked? Or will I be found by the side of the road nude, smeared in my own feces? Will there be weapons involved?

Why do these people always end up naked somehow?
 
2010-09-07 04:24:53 PM
I wouldn't marry a women that could deliver a blow like that.
/no pun intended. or did i?
 
2010-09-07 04:24:53 PM
I sometimes wonder what people like her looked like when the were, say, 20-ish.
 
2010-09-07 04:25:14 PM
Do Not Want... her to punch me in the nose. Looky the neck muscles on that beast. And no lips.
 
2010-09-07 04:32:12 PM
"Where can I find a woman like that, like
Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I want,
I want Jessie's girl"

You are most welcome for the ear turd.
 
2010-09-07 04:34:20 PM
jehovahs witness protection: I dunno...clean her up, give back her dentures and hand me a bottle of Jack Daniels.


Dude, I'm a fuhking drunk drunk, hrell Im drunk right now, and I wouldnt hit that with Rosie O Donells dick.
 
2010-09-07 04:36:07 PM
The only thing at that school gettin pounded is the erasers
 
2010-09-07 04:37:39 PM
LordSunder: FTFA "They say she later broke into the school which set off all kinds of alarms."

"All kinds." Really? Who wrote this, a 15 year old?


Could be a Jewish writer. "Nu? Vot's all the noise, already? There are all kinds alarms going off here!"
 
2010-09-07 04:37:50 PM
Mom?
 
2010-09-07 04:41:56 PM
dv-ous: I sometimes wonder if I'll have any warning before I snap and become completely irrational.

Will I also try to break into a school while naked? Or will I be found by the side of the road nude, smeared in my own feces? Will there be weapons involved?

Why do these people always end up naked somehow?


because the clothes hold the crazy in. you have to lose the clothes to really be free
 
2010-09-07 04:49:20 PM
I work for the company that runs one of WBTV's competitor's sites. When the writers at our site do crap jobs, we threaten to send them there. It has thus far been an effective threat.
 
2010-09-07 04:57:14 PM
All I got from that story is other guys wife's ride around naked with them. I need to have a talk with my wife this evening.

//thank god she looks better than the gal in the article
///and she already finished school
 
2010-09-07 04:59:37 PM
Police said Shields "has a bad case of selected memory"
 
2010-09-07 05:06:23 PM
Pfffttt, just another day in Charlotte. Glad I live in the country.
 
2010-09-07 05:21:59 PM
If this had happened here in California the husband would have been thrown in jail for domestic violence.
 
2010-09-07 05:37:04 PM
D_Evans45: jehovahs witness protection: I dunno...clean her up, give back her dentures and hand me a bottle of Jack Daniels.


Dude, I'm a fuhking drunk drunk, hrell Im drunk right now, and I wouldnt hit that with Rosie O Donells dick.


Not even if you were at a bi-sexual bridal shower?
 
2010-09-07 05:38:48 PM
Dude looks like a lady.
 
2010-09-07 06:06:17 PM
DPSturm: The only thing at that school gettin pounded is the erasers

My Aunt used to teach there. There were plenty of 9s and 10s fresh out of college on the faculty there.

/This sounds like typical drunken, crazy Ballantyne cokehead wife behavior.
 
2010-09-07 06:47:20 PM
I don't understand why Gordon Ramsay's picture is in this article.
 
2010-09-07 07:45:29 PM
tallguywithglasseson: Police said Shields "has a bad case of selected memory"

Yeah, what the hell does that even mean?

If I could pick and choose my memories, the memory of imagining that chick naked would not be one of my keepers.
 
2010-09-07 07:46:23 PM
"Janice Shields, 58, told cops she went to a party with her husband and later found herself waking up naked in the school."

Sounds like she sobered up, discovered he was renting her out by the minute at the party, and cracked him one in the face. Then she got all self-destruct-y and sad, and broke into the school to be "rescued" by a prince-like policeman, thus completing the Disneyesque princess drunk act.

The Aristocrats!
 
2010-09-07 08:21:02 PM
*Ugh*

Looks like she should be labeled the hidden boss of the internet.
 
2010-09-07 09:44:29 PM
LordSunder: FTFA "They say she later broke into the school which set off all kinds of alarms."

"All kinds." Really? Who wrote this, a 15 year old?


Considering most news articles are written at a 4th grade reading level, probably more like 10, maybe 11 or 12 if they were left back a year.
 
2010-09-07 11:20:42 PM
Mama knows how to party, y'all.

/shudder
 
2010-09-08 12:59:51 AM
At this rate, we here in NC are gonna need our own tag. And I came here from Florida to get away from tags.
 
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