Heavens, I skipped the header and went straight for the article, and thought it was straight-up The Onion. Then I saw it was Christwire.

.

His book is one of the most random, nonsensical things I have ever read. And it is awesome.

Did he write this?

I mean to say, Stephenson Billings can't be anyone's real name

Wait. Just... What?

Should have Satire tag for Christwire k thx

Well I just tweeted it to Hodgeman... I'm sure he's seen it but I just can't believe this thing exists.

Anyway, it's hillarious that a writer who has been worknig for nigh on a decade in major publications before getting an major ad gig and a regular spot on a popular comics "came on the scene" to anything.

Apparently the author can't be bothered to use that commieliberal cesspit, Wikipedia, to see his career before Apple.

I can't remember. Is christwire serious and therefore hilarious, or a joke and therefore moderately funny?

Otto's_Jacket: There is no Stephenson Billings

Stephenson Billings needs a hug and a Rice Krispie Treat.

LordOfThePings: Otto's_Jacket: There is no Stephenson Billings

Stephenson Billings needs a hug and a Rice Krispie Treat.

Rice Krispies were developed by a Jew and thus must not be eaten by good Christians.

/obscure?
//hot as Burnbarrel Blvd.

Lenny and Carl: I can't remember. Is christwire serious and therefore hilarious, or a joke and therefore moderately funny?

I can't tell anymore.

Lenny and Carl: I can't remember. Is christwire serious and therefore hilarious, or a joke and therefore moderately funny?

I think it's a joke, first time I've been to the site but here's one of the front page articles:

Gays Invent New Wii Sex Toy, So Blacks Can Have Virtual Sex With White Women

Two forces have come together to take their sexual lifestyle's to a whole new level. One side likes inserting their satan scepters into other men's sewer holes and the other likes to brainwash young white youth with 8-bit music and turn your lady home makers into "ho" makers. The two have combined forces to virtual sneak into your house and violate your American wife while you are hard at work trying to get by while Obama steals you health care plan.

John Hodgman isn't a comedian, he's a humorist... which is just like being a comedian without being funny.

Like most of the people on this thread, I was at least halfway through this article thinking it was satire.

I keep going back and forth on whether that site is serious or satire. Poe's law asplodes!

Whichever, John Hodgeman = awesome. And, you're welcome.

I couldn't finish "My Areas of Expertise"

The Guys Behind Christwire, Creating Parody From 'Glenn Beck on Steroids' (new window)

They fail to see the incredible self-satisfaction and egomania of this media mini-phenomenon.


You're welcome.

I've seen grasping for straws before, but god damn. I mean they didn't even bother to do their research. I'm not familiar with the website, but judging by what others here are saying, it's something I'm going to stay away from now on.

Otto's_Jacket: moothemagiccow: I mean to say, Stephenson Billings can't be anyone's real name


There is no Stephenson Billings (new window)

That sucks, because he sounds like he'd be an awesome children's party entertainer:

Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!

SnakeMan: Has nobody figured out by now they're a satirical website?

Judging from what was posted above, some who have been published there don't get it either. Not to mention the those who leave comments there.

Trolling people that dumb rarely works as intended, since most of them will still believe that you were being sincere no matter how many times you deny it.

True believer syndrome. See: John Tutor.

LOL I've never been to this website before and was thinking The Onion all the way.

Great site. Their obsession with everything gay gives it away.

moothemagiccow: I mean to say, Stephenson Billings can't be anyone's real name

After reading this post, I'm pretty sure that it's actually John Hodgman.

I especially liked this line:

(whose parent company, Apple Inc. is an avowed supporter of liberal causes, including "homosexual" rights).

Subtle, given that Microsoft is known as one of the most gay-friendly companies in the US.

gas giant: SnakeMan: Has nobody figured out by now they're a satirical website?

Judging from what was posted above, some who have been published there don't get it either. Not to mention the those who leave comments there.

Trolling people that dumb rarely works as intended, since most of them will still believe that you were being sincere no matter how many times you deny it.

True believer syndrome. See: John Tutor.

Well I will admit, after I read about half the article, I totally thought it was real. I guess I've just missed christwire if they've ever been linked on Fark before. And that's what I get for just doing a cursory glance over the comments here. I thought people were saying it was serious, but it's so goddamn retarded that it comes dangerously close to satire. Skim reading hasn't bit me in the ass that bad since the college essay about a book I barely read, in which I referred to a male character as female repeatedly, going so far as to base an argument around their behavior and "gender norms" or some bullshiat.

The real scary thing, that I was completely able to believe there were actual human beings with such a viewpoint. And that's because I've met them before.

Jim_Callahan: After reading this post, I'm pretty sure that it's actually John Hodgman.

I haven't bothered reading the whole thing, but it sounds like Hodgman from the first two sentences. They have his particular cadence.

That was the most awesomely confusing thing I've seen tonight.

I liked the part where they take the Daily Show Correspondent positions seriously.

vartian: In their stead, Hodgman and his comrades in this underground "fanboy" movement proposed the far less reputable flashy toys by Macintosh (whose parent company, Apple Inc. is an avowed supporter of liberal causes, including "homosexual" rights).

Why is homosexual in quotes?

The word "gay" often appears in quotes in the writings of the Religious Right. My feeling is that they probably do that because they feel the term trivializes what they perceive to be the severe mental and moral defect that is homosexuality. It's either that or their view of homosexuality as a mental illness makes them suspicious of the fact that a homosexual could possibly be as happy with their lives and themselves as the term "gay" would imply. In liberal writings you'll almost always see the term "ex-gay" in quotes for similar reasons of incredulity. Both practices annoy me.

But in this article the term in quotes is "homosexual." If the article is sincere and not a satire, then the author forgot that "homosexual" is a clinical term and universally appropriate regardless of one's stance on the subject. If it is indeed a satire, then it's suggesting that these people use quotes around the word "gay" so much that this author has forgotten why they started doing it in the first place and he is now putting quotes around any term that references homosexuality.

That's what I think, at least.

saintstryfe: There is no

Poe's Law

Never heard of Christwire, but the work filters block it, category 'tasteless'.

Reading this article made me thing that Planet Earth itself was getting high, instead of just me.

When the fark did John Hodgman get famous enough to warrant any serious response from insane people?

sidcart42: Reading this article made me thing that Planet Earth itself was getting high, instead of just me.

When the fark did John Hodgman get famous enough to warrant any serious response from insane people?

Well, there was the 2009 Radio and TV Correspondents' Dinner, where he got to roast President Obama a bit, questioning his nerd credentials. And being a Daily Show correspondent. And those Apple ads.

I'll lay odds of 5 to 1 this is Hodgman lampooning himself.

Alphax: Never heard of Christwire, but the work filters block it, category 'tasteless'.

Laughter out loud