Bear thread?

"Once they get people food, they don't want to go anywhere else," California Department of Fish and Game spokesman Jason Holley told ABC San Francisco station KGO-TV this week after Fish and Game officers euthanized a mother black bear that had been hanging around a campground in the Tahoe Basin.

I will now assume that they mean people-as-food. And not something lame like Sonicburgers or Cheetos.

Was about to comment... first three posts said it all.
/Da Bears.

dholway: I must admit it...people food IS pretty great.

It's the only food I eat.

Ya hear that Ed? BEARS. now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.

Hungry bears are not the least bit interested in eating me.

Hungry bears tomorrow will most likely want to have brunch with bloody marys. Or maybe mimosas.

Anyway, like I was sayin', people is the fruit of the bear. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, people-kabobs, people creole, people gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple people, lemon people, coconut people, pepper people, people soup, people stew, people salad, people and potatoes, people burger, people sandwich. That- that's about it.

They're just trying to fatten up for the winter. People food is good at that nowadays in the US at least.

Bears liking people food, just like my sister's dog.

Good things come in bears

Hungry bears will probably eat you tomorrow



No. They won't.

/Maybe the other way 'round

Seeing as Mr. Ramen is called Bear, I sure hope so...

I going to bear country soon, perfect time of year too. Not much easy food around and they get all cranky before they sleep for winter.

The bears pay the Bear Tax, Homer pays the Homer Tax.

I live in Chicago, so I'm really getting ....

/oh shut the fark up

this thread is all kinds of awesome.

texastag: Hungry bears will probably eat you tomorrow
No. They won't.
/Maybe the other way 'round

You're doing it wrong, you need bear spray if you don't want to be eaten.

There's been one prowling around about 2 blocks from my house... Was last spotted a few days ago.

Pretty unusual around here.

/has plenty of .308 bear repellent.

shogun: texastag: Hungry bears will probably eat you tomorrow
No. They won't.
/Maybe the other way 'round

You're doing it wrong, you need bear spray if you don't want to be eaten.

No, you need this (new window).

texastag: Hungry bears will probably eat you tomorrow



No. They won't.

/Maybe the other way 'round

That is a damn pretty rifle.

read that as 'huggy bear will probably eat you tomorrow'

Looks like I need some bear recipes then. If one comes a knockin I guess I need to know how to cook bear food.

/make nice blankets!

shogun: texastag: Hungry bears will probably eat you tomorrow
No. They won't.
/Maybe the other way 'round

You're doing it wrong, you need bear spray if you don't want to be eaten.

they use that as a seasoning on you -- to give people more flavor.

Good night Westley. Sleep well. Hungry bears will most likely eat you in the morning.

shogun: texastag: Hungry bears will probably eat you tomorrow
No. They won't.
/Maybe the other way 'round

You're doing it wrong, you need bear spray if you don't want to be eaten.

Supracentral: There's been one prowling around about 2 blocks from my house... Was last spotted a few days ago.

Pretty unusual around here.

/has plenty of .308 bear repellent.

Psssh...all you need is a stick (new window)


/and giant brass balls

If you go out in the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go out in the woods today
You'd better go in disguise.

No bear?
No bear.
No bear today. Bear tomorrow. There's always a bear tomorrow.

Unavailable for comment

They gotta start reruns of Yogi Bear as a PSA, when I was 4 yo I knew bears liked pickanic baskets. What happened to this once common knowledge?


/protip: feed the local bears dog food and they will help protect your weed crop

Denial_of_Death: No bear?
No bear.
No bear today. Bear tomorrow. There's always a bear tomorrow.

Oh, well-played, good sir.

/Sooner or later... bear.

Link

Also, a man is going hiking in bear country and the guy at the lodge tells him to wear a string of bells to warn the bears that he's approaching and to carry a pepper spray gun to shoot at them if the bears get too close.

And then he adds, "Watch out for the bear poop. You'll know if its bear poop from bears that like to eat people, because there'll be bells in it and it'll smell faintly of spicy peppers!".

Carry on.

//identified from DNA that it left on a yogurt cup at the campsite//

Stupid bear. Did he think he wouldn't get caught.

Bears have always been in the news.

II Kings 2:23-24

23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

/heck, I'd be summoning bears too, if "baldhead" was the worst insult kids could come up with.

Hungry bears like soylent green.

can't blame them. people are delicious!

Fark people food,

Just put up a couple of goal posts and and chalk line an endzone around your campsite. You'll be safe. No Bears go in there. Evar!