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(Daily Mail) Amusing Dennis Shakespeare. One hell of a writer and actor   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 37
More: Amusing, Shakespeare, scanning, Julius Caesar, History Channel, Director Stuart Clarke, meditation, forensic anthropologist  
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8301 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Sep 2010 at 3:13 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2010-09-05 03:14:26 PM
FREAKY MAN.
 
2010-09-05 03:15:51 PM
I'm no scientist, but if your computer program creates "death masks" that haven't yet matched up with a historical likeness, maybe you want to reexamine your technology before making bold claims.
 
2010-09-05 03:15:52 PM
Why on earth would Shakespeare's death mask turn up in Darmstadt?
 
2010-09-05 03:19:07 PM
Tillmaster: Why on earth would Shakespeare's death mask turn up in Darmstadt?

Because he had coursers for cousins, and jennets for Germans
 
2010-09-05 03:22:33 PM
Is that death mask the end of zombie shakespeare?
 
2010-09-05 03:24:02 PM
scientists linked it to Shakespeare after carrying out a series of tests.
They say it proves the writer suffered from cancer towards the end of his life.


Look I know it's the Daily Mail and everything, but how would a death mask show that Shakespeare had cancer (unless his lips had rotted off or something?) And what kind of tests could you do to show that it was "linked to Shakespeare?"

No, I'm not going to go look for a better explanation. Actually I don't care what Shakespeare looked like.
 
2010-09-05 03:29:05 PM
Pop quiz, Romeo. There's a chick in town. You want to bone this broad. She's a Capulet. You're a Montague. If you bone the chick, her nephew, Tybalt, is gonna find you and make shiat real. What do you do? What do you do?
 
2010-09-05 03:30:31 PM
PABST BLUE RIBBON!!

Are subby and I the only ones who see this?
 
2010-09-05 03:34:23 PM
Doctor Funkenstein: Pop quiz, Romeo. There's a chick in town. You want to bone this broad. She's a Capulet. You're a Montague. If you bone the chick, her nephew, Tybalt, is gonna find you and make shiat real. What do you do? What do you do?

I'd bite my thumb at him...
 
2010-09-05 03:42:05 PM
That's not Shakespeare. That's Bacon.

/Even death masks go better with Bacon.
 
2010-09-05 04:08:26 PM
I'm a potential (studying degree in English right now) Shakespeare scholar, and I would make an informed guess that this is probably bullshiat. Shakespeare was just a normal bloke when he died. He wasn't farking Washington.

Also, he has really sad puppy eyes. And everyone knows Shakespeare shot lasers out of his eyes.

/but I look forward to Shakespearean banter to be had in this thread, if any
 
2010-09-05 04:08:39 PM
+1 yakman senior.
 
2010-09-05 04:16:44 PM
I'm surprised that no director has used Shakespeare's death mask as the scenery for one of his plays, the way Syberberg did with Wagner.
 
2010-09-05 04:22:30 PM
It...has a lot of similarities with the painting, it's just a lot older.
 
2010-09-05 04:25:44 PM
tomcatadam: It...has a lot of similarities with the painting, it's just a lot older.

Somehow I think the painting was created a bit longer ago than the 3-d computer image.
 
2010-09-05 04:27:26 PM
'Breakthroughs in computer imaging mean we may have to rewrite the history books on Shakespeare.'

Not only presumptuous, but also thinking rather too highly of one's own work.

I want a 3D image of him sticking his tongue out..."That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man, / If with his tongue he cannot win a woman." Old Willy was a kinky guy.

/Two Gentlemen of Verona
 
2010-09-05 04:31:17 PM
farquette: 'Breakthroughs in computer imaging mean we may have to rewrite the history books on Shakespeare.'

Not only presumptuous, but also thinking rather too highly of one's own work.

I want a 3D image of him sticking his tongue out..."That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man, / If with his tongue he cannot win a woman." Old Willy was a kinky guy.

/Two Gentlemen of Verona


no, him having a mole 2cm to left of where it was previously thought to be on his cheek sheds new illuminating light on the subtext of Hamlet, Othello and King Lear.
 
2010-09-05 05:37:22 PM
Accurate likeness of Shakespeare and an employer?

www.toplessrobot.com

/hot

Oh and a quote...


There's no art to find the mind's construction in the face.
Macbeth. Act i. Sc. 4.
 
2010-09-05 05:44:23 PM
Doctor Funkenstein: Pop quiz, Romeo. There's a chick in town. You want to bone this broad. She's a Capulet. You're a Montague. If you bone the chick, her nephew, Tybalt, is gonna find you and make shiat real. What do you do? What do you do?

I think you mean cousin there, sweet tits. If I was chasing a 14 year-old, I doubt I'd have to worry too awful much about her nephew.

I'd probably have some other concerns with other members of her family, but nephews would likely be safe.
 
2010-09-05 05:57:43 PM
yeah. he does look an awful lot like Dennis Hopper.
 
2010-09-05 06:20:02 PM
Doctor Funkenstein: Pop quiz, Romeo. There's a chick in town. You want to bone this broad. She's a Capulet. You're a Montague. If you bone the chick, her nephew, Tybalt, is gonna find you and make shiat real. What do you do? What do you do?

Boom, Headshot
 
2010-09-05 06:30:44 PM
Where art thou from, man?
 
2010-09-05 06:59:41 PM
Portrait: usually painted while the subject is alive, and often flatters the subject

Death mask: taken after the subject is dead, usually years or decades later, probably after illness

So, that the two might look different is not quite the shock the Mail makes it out to be, if you stop to think about it for a minute.
 
2010-09-05 07:28:13 PM
DADDY WANTS TO GET THEE TO A NUNNERY!!!
 
2010-09-05 08:15:38 PM
Excen: DADDY WANTS TO GET THEE TO A NUNNERY!!!

i52.tinypic.com
GET TO DA NUNNERY! NOW!
 
2010-09-05 08:35:52 PM
Stanfan114: So, that the two might look different is not quite the shock the Mail makes it out to be, if you stop to think about it for a minute.

And I don't see how it's all that different anyway.
 
2010-09-05 10:25:26 PM
So they did Napoleon (who we have a death mask of) and Washington (who we have a death mask of) and Shakespeare, for whom they used a death mask that turned up in Germany over a century after he died and which may not actually have been of him, and the Daily Fail decided to lead with Shakespeare?

/Also: why not chose Newton, Beethoven, or Abraham Lincoln, all of whom death masks exist for?
 
2010-09-05 10:38:36 PM
Dwight_Yeast: So they did Napoleon (who we have a death mask of) and Washington (who we have a death mask of) and Shakespeare, for whom they used a death mask that turned up in Germany over a century after he died and which may not actually have been of him, and the Daily Fail decided to lead with Shakespeare?

/Also: why not chose Newton, Beethoven, or Abraham Lincoln, all of whom death masks exist for?



Not enough of an academic shiatstorm in those cases?

Also, taking a Shakespeare class and getting a kick etc.
Was his last moment a little death?
 
2010-09-05 11:07:33 PM
that's just tacky: Not enough of an academic shiatstorm in those cases?

It's not any more of an "academic shiatstorm" than demanding that Shakespeare's plays be reprinted in the original Klingon would be; it's just silly.

And if we really wanted to know what he looked like, if we wanted to see how close to reality the various portraits are, all we have to do is exhume me.

/but that carries a terrible cost
//Zombie Shakespeare!
 
2010-09-05 11:14:10 PM
Dwight_Yeast: that's just tacky: Not enough of an academic shiatstorm in those cases?

It's not any more of an "academic shiatstorm" than demanding that Shakespeare's plays be reprinted in the original Klingon would be; it's just silly.

And if we really wanted to know what he looked like, if we wanted to see how close to reality the various portraits are, all we have to do is exhume me.

/but that carries a terrible cost
//Zombie Shakespeare!


If we have the Zombie Bard, can we send him after all those involved in She's the Man and the other bastardizations I can't remember?
 
2010-09-05 11:15:02 PM
Man_Without_A_Hat: I'm no scientist, but if your computer program creates "death masks" that haven't yet matched up with a historical likeness, maybe you want to reexamine your technology before making bold claims.

This. So much this. The article (haven't independently checked it) points to a string of past failures. The television show producers use software to generate images from death masks, but the previous images (according to the article) never match up well with any historical image of the subject (i.e. the control group, if this were an experiment). If this happened once or twice, that might indicate that some of the independent, historical images were poorly preserved, or that some of the death masks preserved a bad likeness; that this happens constantly makes one think that either the software is doing a poor job, or the producers want the images to be controversial in order to make noise and thus bump up ratings a bit.

The Daily Mail obliged them, and now we've all know of this show about which we'd never have cared or even heard otherwise.
 
2010-09-05 11:36:15 PM
yakmans_dad: That's not Shakespeare. That's Bacon.

/Even death masks go better with Bacon.



Kevin's head is flatter.
 
2010-09-06 12:03:12 AM
Wouldn't it be easier and more reliable to take DNA from WS' corpse, clone him, wait 50 years and take a picture?
 
2010-09-06 01:19:34 AM
0Icky0: Stanfan114: So, that the two might look different is not quite the shock the Mail makes it out to be, if you stop to think about it for a minute.

And I don't see how it's all that different anyway.


THISETH!
 
2010-09-06 09:50:33 AM
that's just tacky: Dwight_Yeast: So they did Napoleon (who we have a death mask of) and Washington (who we have a death mask of) and Shakespeare, for whom they used a death mask that turned up in Germany over a century after he died and which may not actually have been of him, and the Daily Fail decided to lead with Shakespeare?

/Also: why not chose Newton, Beethoven, or Abraham Lincoln, all of whom death masks exist for?


Not enough of an academic shiatstorm in those cases?

Also, taking a Shakespeare class and getting a kick etc.
Was his last moment a little death?


His last moment conscious moments, traditionally, have been recovering from a week-end long drunk with Ben Jonson. Then, IIRC, a stroke.
 
2010-09-06 12:45:04 PM
The warts-and-all image is featured in a TV documentary called Death Masks, due to be screened on the History Channel on September 13.

Didn't this air on the History Channel a year ago?
 
2010-09-06 03:11:28 PM
"That Barney Rubble...what an actor!"

Link (new window)
 
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