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(The Scottish Sun) Unlikely 106-year-old credits her long life to being a virgin   (thescottishsun.co.uk) divider line 123
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11849 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Sep 2010 at 6:02 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2010-09-04 06:34:24 PM
I'd pop it.
 
2010-09-04 06:37:28 PM
If I were a genie and some dude wished for a virgin, I'd send him her.
 
2010-09-04 06:42:04 PM
Well, then why the hell do you want to live to be 106?
 
2010-09-04 06:45:51 PM
Her cherry is rotten and she has fruit flies.
 
2010-09-04 06:49:17 PM
This is a late parrot: Her cherry is rotten and she has fruit flies.

[ibarfd.jpg]
 
2010-09-04 07:12:59 PM
If that's what it takes, I'd rather die young.

bighasbeen: If I were a genie and some dude wished for a virgin, I'd send him her.

Or all 72 virgins for the suicide bombers.
 
2010-09-04 07:15:09 PM
Earguy: Or all 72 virgins for the suicide bombers.

Nah, they get D&D players
 
2010-09-04 08:03:36 PM
bighasbeen: If I were a genie and some dude wished for a virgin, I'd send him her.

Not sure if serious
img.thesun.co.uk
 
2010-09-04 08:07:09 PM
bighasbeen: If I were a genie and some dude wished for a virgin, I'd send him her.

I can see them being sent in blocks of 72...
 
2010-09-04 08:28:30 PM
Yeah right. She's probably taken it in the hoop many times.

/drunk, needs sleep now...
 
2010-09-04 08:38:25 PM
Think about it, though. This lady was already 37 years old when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, and in her sixties when St. Ronnie was first elected president. She was in her 20's when Pretty Boy Floyd and Machinegun Kelly were making headlines. Somebody needs to interview her about how she saw famous historical events, and just about her life in general.
 
2010-09-04 09:23:44 PM
Isa has never even been KISSED...

Seriously, what is wrong with her? There has to be something not right.
 
2010-09-04 09:34:54 PM
phlegmmo: Isa has never even been KISSED...

Seriously, what is wrong with her? There has to be something not right.


Indeed.

Never Been Kissed?!?

We need to get her to enroll in a high school to write an article about the youth of today, and have her befriend Leelee Sobieski!
 
2010-09-05 06:09:34 AM
Living to 106 without sex/love/relationships?! I would have died of boredom long before then...
 
2010-09-05 06:10:14 AM
"She did like the odd sherry though."

Oh, she's a lesbian. Gotcha.
 
2010-09-05 06:10:37 AM
"She's always lived in Edinburgh and worked for 35 years as a private secretary"

"And she had a high-powered job"


Haha, that's adorable.
 
2010-09-05 06:11:38 AM
VIRGIN?

The Howard Foundation frowns on her shenanigans.
 
2010-09-05 06:14:04 AM
Just because you can't remember it doesn't mean it didn't happen.

"Sex?"
*recalls the past 40, 50, 60, 70 years of her life*
"Nope, never had it."
 
2010-09-05 06:17:50 AM
This is sad.
 
2010-09-05 06:17:55 AM
/volunteers
 
2010-09-05 06:22:02 AM
Deacon Blue: This lady was already 37 years old when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor

You know who else bombed Pearl Harbor?
 
2010-09-05 06:22:40 AM
Ah, so the morals of this story: rohypnol takes away all the bad memories, and what you don't know can't hurt you.


Also, obvious and obligatory:

img801.imageshack.us
 
2010-09-05 06:25:14 AM
These people want me to sit by while they tell ME what to do. fark that!
 
2010-09-05 06:25:23 AM
I had her in '72.

Of course, she was only 68 at the time.
 
#2 [TotalFark]
2010-09-05 06:25:47 AM
"Virginity is in the lies of the beholder."

- The Clown Prince of Darkness
 
2010-09-05 06:26:13 AM
Deacon Blue: Think about it, though. This lady was already 37 years old when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, and in her sixties when St. Ronnie was first elected president. She was in her 20's when Pretty Boy Floyd and Machinegun Kelly were making headlines. Somebody needs to interview her about how she saw famous historical events, and just about her life in general.

Kind of like you remember the election of Tony Blair, and would want to document it in 60 years or so?

I'm also fairly certain she was quite occupied by the time pearl harbor came around. You know, because her country was being continuously barraged by the Germans.

Also, the Brits don't give much of a fark about prohibition era gangsters either, since they never found alcohol to be quite as much of a public nuisance.

/rtfa
 
2010-09-05 06:29:03 AM
Hilary T. N. Seuss: "She did like the odd sherry though."

Oh, she's a lesbian. Gotcha.


I was assuming "flower club" was a euphemism...
 
2010-09-05 06:31:00 AM
i53.tinypic.com

"You mean you have to choose between a life without sex and a gruesome death?"

/Tough call.
//100+ years and no sex is gruesome.
 
2010-09-05 06:35:36 AM
The hymen...the hymen...

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2010-09-05 06:42:25 AM
www.antique-jewelry-investor.com

Picture of her from "the old days".

/i still demand to know why she threw the damn diamond back in the ocean
//that poor dude was spending millions to try to recover it, she had it all along and didn't even want it apparently
 
2010-09-05 06:46:52 AM
I wonder if she has any grandchildren?
 
2010-09-05 06:48:22 AM
Sweet
I take this to mean I'm going to live forever!!!

I got to get out of the basement.
 
2010-09-05 06:53:42 AM
You know, if this shiat is true I think I would rather die at the age of 20 at least knowing what sex feels like rather than live to one hundred and six mother farking years old and dying a withered old spinster. Up yours gran- er, old virgin biatch.
 
2010-09-05 06:54:57 AM
I wanna slap her niece for repeatedly referring to auntie in the past tense.

"She did like the odd sherry..."
"She was wrapped up in her church..."
"She never had time to be sad..."
 
2010-09-05 06:56:28 AM
WOOHOO!!! I'm gonna live forever!!
 
2010-09-05 07:03:47 AM
i bet she gives one hell of a gummer
 
2010-09-05 07:06:43 AM
Deacon Blue: Think about it, though. This lady was already 37 years old when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, and in her sixties when St. Ronnie was first elected president. She was in her 20's when Pretty Boy Floyd and Machinegun Kelly were making headlines. Somebody needs to interview her about how she saw famous historical events, and just about her life in general.

ummm, pretty sure others have already posted that the Germans id not bomb Pearl Harbor. Just posting this because I think you are an ass.
 
2010-09-05 07:12:06 AM
jaytkay: "She did like the odd sherry..."

img.listal.com

Sherry Britton would like a word.
 
2010-09-05 07:14:14 AM
I call shenanigans.

Outside of being a cloistered nun, I don't see how you can go through life without a sexual encounter. Esp. in wartime Britain- things got nice and loose over there.

I call this, 'I want my family to think I was a virgin".

Would be hysterical if her 70 year old son, that she gave up for adoption, stepped forward.
 
2010-09-05 07:17:12 AM
But she's kept vibrator and battery companies in business for 100 years
 
2010-09-05 07:23:10 AM
These are the Darwin Award criteria:

Reproduction - Out of the gene pool: 1)dead or 2)sterile.
None whatsoever. - 1)Yes, as good as. Some parts definitely. 2)Yes, even if miraculously not, no one's wanting to find out.

Excellence - Astounding misapplication of judgment.
One of a kind. - Yes, the mind boggles.

Self-Selection - Cause one's own demise.
Yes. - Own choice.

Maturity - Capable of sound judgment.
Hell freaking yes, literally! - Okay, devout churchgoer. But must have been at some point.

Veracity - The event must be true.
Well, the Sun is there. - Let's assume so.
 
2010-09-05 07:24:47 AM
old_toole: Sweet
I take this to mean I'm going to live forever!!!

I got to get out of the basement.


Rickerkioz: WOOHOO!!! I'm gonna live forever!!

I'd bet half the people on fark will live a long, long time.
 
2010-09-05 07:30:16 AM
well-tabbed.
 
2010-09-05 07:30:38 AM
RangerVet75: ummm, pretty sure others have already posted that the Germans id not bomb Pearl Harbor. Just posting this because I think you are an ass.

www.myteespot.com
 
2010-09-05 07:40:08 AM
Im not sure if it kept her alive when she was young....but it would probably kill her now.
 
2010-09-05 07:43:31 AM
Surely she must have reached the point at which she could attribute her virginity to her age long before she could attribute her age to her virginity?
 
2010-09-05 07:44:04 AM
Old people have kinda a kooky way of thinking though. On hearing of my dietary preference, my grandmother made me a delicious vegetarian soup (so I'm told). It had bacon in it - but not *much* bacon. You see where I'm going with this?
 
2010-09-05 07:46:41 AM
Oznog: /i still demand to know why she threw the damn diamond back in the ocean
//that poor dude was spending millions to try to recover it, she had it all along and didn't even want it apparently


A bigger question is why the stupid girl didn't stay in the lifeboat. If she hadn't jumped out, Leonardo would have been on his own with that bit of wreckage and there would have been room for him to climb out. Basically she killed him.
 
2010-09-05 07:46:53 AM
Well it feels like you live longer....
 
2010-09-05 07:50:59 AM
Oznog: /i still demand to know why she threw the damn diamond back in the ocean
//that poor dude was spending millions to try to recover it, she had it all along and didn't even want it apparently

crumblecat:A bigger question is why the stupid girl didn't stay in the lifeboat. If she hadn't jumped out, Leonardo would have been on his own with that bit of wreckage and there would have been room for him to climb out. Basically she killed him.


And WHY would a ship with a huge crew and lookouts NOT notice a huge friggin iceberg in the middle of the ocean, nothing in the way, that they slowly plowed right into?

This movie was full of plot holes.
 
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