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(Wall Street Journal) Amusing "He trusts God to keep him safe, and I'm here just in case that doesn't work out" says atheist marine assigned to protect a chaplain's foxhole   (online.wsj.com) divider line 230
More: Amusing, Terry Moran, Sangin, chaplains, Canadian citizen, carrying weapons, Trust in God, nuclear submarines, religious denomination  
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12242 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Sep 2010 at 5:07 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2010-09-04 09:57:43 AM
"Lt. Moran takes the Bible at its word, rejects the evolution of species and believes the Earth to be 6,000 years old."

That couldn't have been worded any better.
 
2010-09-04 10:04:34 AM
"He carries a large Bible with him into the combat zone, while RP2 Chute totes writings of Richard Dawkins, the evolutionary biologist and fierce critic of the notion that God designed the universe."

So...they both have a book to express their faith.
 
2010-09-04 10:21:04 AM
It has always been my persistent atheism that has crushed my hopes and dreams of fleecing people by delivering feel-good sermons on Sunday mornings. I think I could be a great preacher, if I wouldn't feel endlessly guilty about lying to people about my personal beliefs.

Funny that.

gameshowhost: "Lt. Moran takes the Bible at its word, rejects the evolution of species and believes the Earth to be 6,000 years old."

That couldn't have been worded any better.


Second.
 
2010-09-04 10:26:02 AM
Spanky_McFarksalot: "He carries a large Bible with him into the combat zone, while RP2 Chute totes writings of Richard Dawkins, the evolutionary biologist and fierce critic of the notion that God designed the universe."

So...they both have a book to express their faith.


But the Chaplain's bible is camouflaged.

I had to read that twice. They make camouflaged bibles?
 
2010-09-04 10:31:16 AM
The chaplain was struck both by RP2 Chute's command of the Book of Revelation, and his refusal to take it seriously. "He's familiar with the Christian doctrine, but he chooses not to believe it," says the chaplain, a slender-faced, soft-spoken man with a fringe of gray in his black hair. "That's what I find puzzling."

And this is why those with logic can never get the point across to those with belief. They simply cannot imagine thinking any other way than they do.


Spanky_McFarksalot: So...they both have a book to express their faith.

I'll give that a 3/10. It had Hurr, but not enough Durr.
 
2010-09-04 10:31:24 AM
After reading the article, this chaplain shouldn't be in combat with the troops. His behavior is threatening the lives of those who are there to protect him. I'm not referring to preaching what he believes, but simply *stupid* things like not following in the footsteps of his fellow soldiers (literally), standing up in clear view of a sniper's nest seemingly oblivious to the danger of his surroundings.

This guy's goal is to become a martyr. I hope he doesn't take others with him due to his careless behavior in the field of battle.
 
2010-09-04 10:34:21 AM
An RP2 is a Sailor, not a Marine. Just sayin'.

/shallow AND pedantic
 
2010-09-04 11:21:03 AM
A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get in, get in!" The religious man replies, "no I have faith in God."

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. The religious man replies again, "no I have faith in God.". With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause "God will grant me a miracle."

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. The man then drowns.

He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to God, "I thought You would grant me a miracle." God chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're complaining about, I sent you three boats and a helicopter."

Perhaps the minister can believe God sent him a RP2 to protect him?
 
2010-09-04 12:00:59 PM
BackAssward: I'll give that a 3/10. It had Hurr, but not enough Durr.

My ass! It's got plenty of hurr and just enough durr.

I demand a revote.
 
2010-09-04 01:04:54 PM
Hiro Nakamura: An RP2 is a Sailor, not a Marine. Just sayin'.

/shallow AND pedantic


It bears repeating, I've never come across an RP who did anything resembling actual work. Glad to see one of them is earning his pay somewhere.
 
2010-09-04 01:17:31 PM
... a chaplain and an atheist together in a foxhole?

Is this some sort of wacky sitcom?
 
2010-09-04 01:22:32 PM
damageddude: A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get in, get in!" The religious man replies, "no I have faith in God."

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. The religious man replies again, "no I have faith in God.". With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause "God will grant me a miracle."

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. The man then drowns.

He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to God, "I thought You would grant me a miracle." God chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're complaining about, I sent you three boats and a helicopter."

Perhaps the minister can believe God sent him a RP2 to protect him?


I spent a lot of time at Waffle House in college, mostly in the middle of the night, because it was relatively quiet place to get work done, I could smoke, and there were free refills on coffee. One time I had a drunk guy start a conversation with me about religion. I explained that I didn't have faith in God, but that I agreed with a lot of the moral messages of most religions, particularly Christianity (which is almost certainly in part a cultural bias). Long story short he seemed to become convinced (he might have been joking, but I doubt it) that I was somehow a test of his faith sent by God. He was really drunk.
 
2010-09-04 01:43:24 PM
BunkyBrewman: This guy's goal is to become a martyr. I hope he doesn't take others with him due to his careless behavior in the field of battle.

My thoughts exactly. If he continues to behave in the manner described in the article, he's going to get himself killed. And if that happens, hopefully he doesn't take anybody else out with him.
 
2010-09-04 01:52:42 PM
BunkyBrewman: I had to read that twice. They make camouflaged bibles?

Yeah, they just put the book jacket from "On the Origin of Species" on it.
 
2010-09-04 01:54:19 PM
BunkyBrewman: After reading the article, this chaplain shouldn't be in combat with the troops. His behavior is threatening the lives of those who are there to protect him. I'm not referring to preaching what he believes, but simply *stupid* things like not following in the footsteps of his fellow soldiers (literally), standing up in clear view of a sniper's nest seemingly oblivious to the danger of his surroundings.

This guy's goal is to become a martyr. I hope he doesn't take others with him due to his careless behavior in the field of battle.


Agreed. No matter the religion of the people protecting him, they don't deserve to be injured or killed because the chaplain is acting like an idiot. If he ignores their instructions and gets one of them killed, he should be tried for murder. It's one thing if he gets himself killed (although I would prefer that he not be), but getting other people killed is just not on.

Or maybe he's hoping his guard will take a bullet for him, thereby 'proving' god is protecting him and not atheists.

I don't know. If he has so much faith that he's untouchable, why does he even have a guard? He should stand in front of a firing squad and see if god protects him.
 
2010-09-04 01:56:36 PM
The chaplain shouldn't ever be allowed in a combat theater. I'm going to echo what everyone else seems to be saying, which is that a man in the armed forces who truly believes that God will protect him from the enemy is a man who is going to get himself or someone else killed through sheer stupidity.
 
2010-09-04 01:59:20 PM
And he will come out of this convinced he survived because God protected him.
 
2010-09-04 02:05:02 PM
Mentat: BunkyBrewman: I had to read that twice. They make camouflaged bibles?

Yeah, they just put the book jacket from "On the Origin of Species" on it.


Checking around on Google there appears to be an entire market niche for emasculated Christian men. Example (new window).
 
2010-09-04 02:06:03 PM
Unfetchable URL? Bah!

Here's the link:

http://www.christianoutdoorsman.com/catalog/Camo-Bibles/c25/p557/Waterproof-NEW - TESTAMENT-NIV-Sportsman&%2339;s-Edition/product_info.html?osCsid=2
 
2010-09-04 02:21:40 PM
Sid_6.7: Checking around on Google there appears to be an entire market niche for emasculated Christian men. Example (new window).

heh. I went to a local church a few years ago just to check it out and the pastor spent three weeks complaining that men don't go to church anymore because society has feminized Jesus.
 
2010-09-04 02:22:41 PM
You know, this premise would make an awesome sitcom.
 
2010-09-04 02:25:42 PM
Sid_6.7: Mentat: BunkyBrewman: I had to read that twice. They make camouflaged bibles?

Yeah, they just put the book jacket from "On the Origin of Species" on it.

Checking around on Google there appears to be an entire market niche for emasculated Christian men. Example (new window).


I have a bible from 1816 that was clearly designed with similar purposes in mind. It's leather-bound, and the leather extends over the edges as flaps so that if you hold the book shut it would be almost waterproof. So, nothing new about making bibles sturdy. But the camouflage aspect is pretty amusing.
 
2010-09-04 02:30:07 PM
Sid_6.7: Mentat: BunkyBrewman: I had to read that twice. They make camouflaged bibles?

Yeah, they just put the book jacket from "On the Origin of Species" on it.

Checking around on Google there appears to be an entire market niche for emasculated Christian men. Example (new window).


And at least one Bible peddler who doesn't know the difference between "phased" and "fazed."
 
2010-09-04 02:41:29 PM
Hiro Nakamura: And at least one Bible peddler who doesn't know the difference between "phased" and "fazed."

The description is still technically accurate!

Rincewind53: I have a bible from 1816 that was clearly designed with similar purposes in mind. It's leather-bound, and the leather extends over the edges as flaps so that if you hold the book shut it would be almost waterproof. So, nothing new about making bibles sturdy. But the camouflage aspect is pretty amusing.

I think that the silliest part of the link I posted is that in the example video the guy deliberately throws the Bible on the ground to get it dirty so that he can demonstrate that you can wash it clean with water. Isn't throwing the Bible on the ground merely to demonstrate a product so that money can be made really not good?
 
2010-09-04 02:45:08 PM
Why can't they just give the Chaplins basic combat training before they send them out? Not field stripping an M16 training necessarily, but at least teach how to take cover, how to move as a unit, and why standing up in the middle of a firefight is a good way to get OTHER PEOPLE killed and not just yourself.

You can believe your god will protect you all you want, but I promise a 7.62mm round is an atheist.
 
2010-09-04 02:47:25 PM
Abstruse: You can believe your god will protect you all you want, but I promise a 7.62mm round is an atheist.

Especially if it's fired from a Communist assault rifle!
 
2010-09-04 02:49:24 PM
www.djsfeedstore.com.
 
2010-09-04 02:55:24 PM
abb3w: .

Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock 'n roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?
 
2010-09-04 02:56:31 PM
Rincewind53: The chaplain shouldn't ever be allowed in a combat theater.
 
2010-09-04 03:01:14 PM
BunkyBrewman: This guy's goal is to become a martyr.

It would be amusing if he ended up with a Darwin Award.

Pocket Ninja: You know, this premise would make an awesome sitcom.

"Ceiling Cat and the Devil Dog".
 
2010-09-04 03:04:18 PM
Sid_6.7: I think that the silliest part of the link I posted is that in the example video the guy deliberately throws the Bible on the ground to get it dirty so that he can demonstrate that you can wash it clean with water. Isn't throwing the Bible on the ground merely to demonstrate a product so that money can be made really not good?

I AM FILLED WITH CHRIST'S LOVE *throws Bible*
 
2010-09-04 03:06:29 PM
abb3w: Pocket Ninja: You know, this premise would make an awesome sitcom.

"Ceiling Cat and the Devil Dog".


That thing you just said? Yeah, it was pretty awesome.
 
2010-09-04 03:15:34 PM
An interesting story.
 
2010-09-04 03:44:55 PM
Sid_6.7: Abstruse: You can believe your god will protect you all you want, but I promise a 7.62mm round is an atheist.

Especially if it's fired from a Communist assault rifle!


Why do you think I picked that round?
 
2010-09-04 04:14:24 PM
Abstruse: Why do you think I picked that round?

It uses the metric system?
 
2010-09-04 04:19:49 PM
Sid_6.7: Abstruse: Why do you think I picked that round?

It uses the metric system?


It's the standard load for the AK-47. The M16 uses 5.56mm.
 
2010-09-04 04:50:42 PM
After several noncombat jobs, he volunteered to minister to the Marine infantry, knowing that such an assignment would likely mean he'd end up in Iraq or Afghanistan. "I needed another deployment in order to stay competitive with my peers," he says.

Oh, well, THAT'S a good reason.
 
2010-09-04 05:14:56 PM
It's a good idea because then he doesn't have to close his eyes or look down while they are praying.
 
2010-09-04 05:16:30 PM
Pocket Ninja: You know, this premise would make an awesome sitcom.
Causing me, ever the cynic, to wonder if this story is bogus at some level, and they are, in fact, aiming for a reality show.

/I like commas
 
2010-09-04 05:17:29 PM
cure serious wounds or gtfo
 
2010-09-04 05:17:38 PM
BunkyBrewman: Spanky_McFarksalot: "He carries a large Bible with him into the combat zone, while RP2 Chute totes writings of Richard Dawkins, the evolutionary biologist and fierce critic of the notion that God designed the universe."

So...they both have a book to express their faith.

But the Chaplain's bible is camouflaged.

I had to read that twice. They make camouflaged bibles?


It's sort of like Rule 34: if you can think of it, there's a Bible of it.
 
2010-09-04 05:20:06 PM
Abstruse: It's the standard load for the AK-47. The M16 uses 5.56mm.

Yeah, no shiat, thanks.
 
2010-09-04 05:21:10 PM
41 posts and not this? Y'all are slippin'...

i566.photobucket.com
 
2010-09-04 05:21:14 PM
Sexy Republican Girl: cure serious wounds or gtfo

+1
 
2010-09-04 05:22:24 PM
fredklein: 41 posts and not this? Y'all are slippin'...

The Catholic Church comprehends that God helps those who help themselves. The chaplain in the article...not so much.
 
2010-09-04 05:22:43 PM
This seems way less badass when he stands around in the line of fire than when Robert Duvall does it.

lh4.ggpht.com
 
2010-09-04 05:25:13 PM
fredklein: 41 posts and not this? Y'all are slippin'...

He has the bullet-proof glass not because he needs to be protected. The previous pope was a homicidal maniac, and the glass was needed to keep him from shooting up the crowd.
 
2010-09-04 05:25:27 PM
"Lt. Moran takes the Bible at its word, rejects the evolution of species and believes the Earth to be 6,000 years old."

And his salary is 100% taxpayer funded.
 
2010-09-04 05:25:30 PM
So the Chaplain is a lieutenant, and the other guy is just some enlisted prick? Why doesn't Lt. Moran (ha) just order RP2 Chute to believe in God?

Also, I agree with those that are saying this would make a good sitcom or funny movie. Let's pitch the idea to the people that made the Hurt Locker. We could call it "Hurt Locker 2: Rendering Unto Caesar".
 
2010-09-04 05:25:32 PM
On the near side of the bridge, Gunny Shawhan got out of his own vehicle to yell at the chaplain to take cover, but Lt. Moran didn't seem to hear over the noise of the engines. "Tell the [expletive] chaplain to get behind the goddamn vehicle," Gunny Shawhan yelled into the radio.

"Like bullets aren't going to kill the goddamn chaplain," he muttered to the men near him.

RP2 Chute hustled Lt. Moran to safety behind the armor plating.

Later, Lt. Moran explained that he had been unsure which vehicle he was supposed to ride in. But his serenity had a deeper explanation.

"No matter what situation you find yourself in on planet Earth, God will protect you," he said after the patrol returned safely to base. "All He asks is that you trust and believe what He says. So, if I find myself in a combat situation, His promise of protection is still valid."


You smarmy, shiat eating automaton. The only reason anyone has saved your maggoty, dripping ass is because it was required by law and duty.

In nature, you'd be left as a sacrifice to the prey that strong men eat.
 
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