You can blame that on people like Paul and Augustine.

I see what you did there, Submitter. +1

I can't speak for other christians, but I find that the difference between great sex and regular old sex is whether I give him head beforehand. :-p

FTA: Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn't just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, "sex when you're married is awesome."
/that one really made me chuckle.

I guess my wife and I are ahead of the curve, then...

It's one of our favorite ways to say "I love you!"

The article should've replaced "Christians" with "Christian Fundamentalists".

They spoil it by being ugly?

/dnrtfa

FYI: Water is also wet.

Fundies frown on your hot, sweaty shenanigans subby.

+1

uncletogie: I guess my wife and I are ahead of the curve, then...

It's one of our favorite ways to say "I love you!"

The article should've replaced "Christians" with "Christian Fundamentalists".

This!

/author sounds old

My Christian upbringing definitely spoiled sex for me (something which has taken me years to slowly combat.)

Took 9 months for me to lose my virginity after my boyfriend and I started dating. In the end, my qualms with sex and intimacy are what ended our 3 year relationship. *Le sigh*

/not trying to be a Debbie-downer...still consider myself a very positive and emotionally healthy person.

C: "This ball gag tastes of Penn Jillette."

except christians report higher enjoyment of sex than other demographics

/throws a wrench in his theory

chickstan: /not trying to be a Debbie-downer...still consider myself a very positive and emotionally healthy person.

I'd say you're on your way to becoming an emotionally healthy person, anyway.

You mean coitus?

Christians could fark up a wet dream

Shadowknight: chickstan: /not trying to be a Debbie-downer...still consider myself a very positive and emotionally healthy person.

I'd say you're on your way to becoming an emotionally healthy person, anyway.

Hm...yes, I would agree.

Passionate, toe-curling sex isn't normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general.

well it can sure seem spiritual when she's screaming "Oh god! Oh god! Jesus! Holy shiat!"

According to the Gospels, Jesus ate and drank with Publicans, not Republicans. Big difference.

lo quilty: I can't speak for other christians, but I find that the difference between great sex and regular old sex is whether I give him head beforehand. :-p

You REALLY need to talk to my wife.

Listerine: except christians report higher enjoyment of sex than other demographics

/throws a wrench in his theory

If all I ate was rice, each day every day for my entire life and not knowing anything different, I would think the small addition of carrots to be completely amazing.

If you live the majority of your life having no sex and fighting off any urge to want to have sex, and then you finally have bland, safe sex your entire life, you will probably still think it's the best thing ever even if it's not. Because, hey, it's better than NO sex.

/only been with one woman my entire life
//just lucky she's adventurous every so often

...And they beat their swords into flying plowgirls...
Timothy 12:17

Finally!, a Christian perspective on sex I can get on board with.

g4lt: Christians could fark up a wet dream

Depends on whether you think wet dreams about men is a fark up or not.

Timdesuyo: lo quilty: I can't speak for other christians, but I find that the difference between great sex and regular old sex is whether I give him head beforehand. :-p

You REALLY need to talk to my wife.

I can't believe I hear this so much. If the guy is clean, it's a lot of fun. ;-D

Nice headline.

did any one get a load of the comments on that article, fun for the whole family... people saying they have incredible s_x lives and are so S-E-X ually liberated with their lover their s x is incredible even though they can't physically arrive at TYPING THE WORD ON A COMPUTER. they must be a big hit in the sack. SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX

/SEX
//what? i like it.
///hate jesus.

Listerine: except christians report higher enjoyment of sex than other demographics

/throws a wrench in his theory

My theory is that christians are all liars. Disprove it.

chickstan: Hm...yes, I would agree.

Just a heads up, though: Girls from repressed, religious childhoods seem to be the girls that REALLY like the freaky stuff. My wife was a Lutheran school kid her entire life before she met me. We started out at 17, just normal boring sex (that was freaking AWESOME at the time).

By the time we were 25... Well, let's just say we have a collection of various toys to spice things up.

Just a warning, for someone with no exposure to "weird" sex, it can be addictive. If you want to try it out, I suggest taking my wife's route: Two shots of tequila, have a good time. If you didn't like it or are ashamed, you can blame it on the alcohol. If you do... Enjoy the new life of debauchery!

Shadowknight: Two shots of tequila

Life's master key

MadeuLaTerestrian: did any one get a load of the comments on that article, fun for the whole family... people saying they have incredible s_x lives and are so S-E-X ually liberated with their lover their s x is incredible even though they can't physically arrive at TYPING THE WORD ON A COMPUTER. they must be a big hit in the sack. SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX

/SEX
//what? i like it.
///hate jesus.

Did not even bother to look at the comments until you mentioned that. That is some funny shiat.

There's sex after marriage? Really?

Catholic girls give the best head, while Fundamentalist Protestant girls are phreaks in the sack.

/Atheist

uncletogie: I guess my wife and I are ahead of the curve, then...

It's one of our favorite ways to say "I love you!"

The article should've replaced "Christians" with "Christian Fundamentalists".

Tend to agree. I'm Catholic, I'm married, I had a lot of sex before marriage, but the best sex has been with my wife after marriage.

LittleSmitty: Catholic girls give the best head, while Fundamentalist Protestant girls are phreaks in the sack.

/Atheist

What DO athiest chicks yell in the sack? Presuming the traditional 'oh God' and 'Jesus' would be out.

m0llusk: "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
--Ezekiel 23:20

That's totally out of context.

sk8r: There's sex after marriage? Really?

No. Don't believe the lies.

hillary: chickstan: My Christian upbringing definitely spoiled sex for me (something which has taken me years to slowly combat.)

Took 9 months for me to lose my virginity after my boyfriend and I started dating. In the end, my qualms with sex and intimacy are what ended our 3 year relationship. *Le sigh*

/not trying to be a Debbie-downer...still consider myself a very positive and emotionally healthy person.

If that is you in the top picture in your profile, I'm certain there are plenty of Farkers who will help you broaden your experience. If that's you in the lower picture, well, not so much.

You must be new here.

ultraholland: Shadowknight: Two shots of tequila

Life's master key

Well, in my wife's case, it just kind of primes the pump. She's a bit of a hard drinker on the right nights. Seems a strong religious belief is no match for an Irish genetic pool and a best friend who makes it her sole mission to get her rightly farked up.

/did I mention I love her best friend
//because on those nights she gets my wife trashed, she's MY best friend too

chickstan: My Christian upbringing definitely spoiled sex for me (something which has taken me years to slowly combat.)

Took 9 months for me to lose my virginity after my boyfriend and I started dating. In the end, my qualms with sex and intimacy are what ended our 3 year relationship. *Le sigh*

/not trying to be a Debbie-downer...still consider myself a very positive and emotionally healthy person.

It's kind of the reason I think premarital sex is so important. It's not something people are naturally good at. So you should get some practice in before you find someone you'll really want to please.

/Sorry about your football team

sk8r: LittleSmitty: Catholic girls give the best head, while Fundamentalist Protestant girls are phreaks in the sack.

/Atheist

What DO athiest chicks yell in the sack? Presuming the traditional 'oh God' and 'Jesus' would be out.

I use "God" and "Jesus" all the time, and I'm atheist. Not much different that saying "Fark" or "Oh yeah, baby, put it in there. Slide it in. Guide me in, that's right, you know you want it..."

Or something like that, anyway.

This article is bullshiat.

Sexual guilt is the cornerstone of every major religion. You can't keep people in line by just telling them not to murder and steal. Most people can do that with out praying or going to church.

You have to make people feel guilty about natural urges that everybody has. You tell them those urges are bad and that the only way for them to not be bad is to act on those urges only when God says it's allowed.

So borrowing a line of reasoning from House, if religious people didn't feel guilty about sex, there would be no religious people.

You think Todd is pounding Sarah until she creams on his holy cock?

macadamnut: My theory is that christians are all liars. Disprove it.

I'm lying.

Listerine: except christians report higher enjoyment of sex than other demographics

/throws a wrench wench in his theory

FTFY