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(My Fox DC) Asinine Documentary looks at decades old rumors of Paul McCartney's death and says fans were right   (myfoxdc.com) divider line 68
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3202 clicks; posted to Asinine on 04 Sep 2010 at 4:29 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2010-09-03 11:32:54 PM
"They had covered up the death at the behest of her Majesty's government and the British intelligence service, MI5," said the documentary's director Joel Gilbert. He says the British government was "afraid there would be a rash of suicides worldwide if Paul McCartney's death was made public."

www.zmemusic.com
 
2010-09-03 11:59:53 PM
i find it hard to believe that people arent getting dumber
 
2010-09-04 12:09:37 AM
moothemagiccow: i find it hard to believe that people arent getting dumber

I find it hard to believe that such a thing is even possible.
Nevertheless, the evidence supports that conclusion.
 
2010-09-04 01:26:10 AM
I prefer to believe that the real Paul died and that the shiatty music we got during the Wings days was done by a doppleganger.
 
2010-09-04 02:13:55 AM
Cranberry sauce!
 
2010-09-04 02:38:01 AM
Gilbert says you can find evidence of Paul McCartney's death littered throughout the Beatles extensive body of work.

"Take a look at the cover of the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album. That scene is essentially a funeral for Paul McCartney. If you look at the lyrics at that time, they say 'he died at five o'clock on a Wednesday morning. We had a pool of tears,'" Gilbert said.

A mere coincidence according to the Fab Four. Well? What do you think?


I know that the Beatles found the rumors amusing and that they encouraged it with little red herrings because it drove the nuts even crazier.

Good golly, what a waste of electrons.
 
2010-09-04 02:49:34 AM
It would have been a lot of fun if Nirvana had given us a fake Kurt Cobain.
 
2010-09-04 03:21:19 AM
No, he just smells that way
 
2010-09-04 03:26:22 AM
The filmmaker says the man we've celebrated the past 44 years is a guy named William Campbell, who was discovered during a secret Paul McCartney look-alike contest staged by Dick Clark's American Bandstand.

Oh, come the fark on. You aren't even trying.
 
2010-09-04 04:35:00 AM
FirstNationalBastard: I prefer to believe that the real Paul died and that the shiatty music we got during the Wings days was done by a doppleganger.

To be fair, Lennon's solo music was overrated, too. Which former Beatle am I referring to: The one who put out album after album of great albums, or the one who put out a ton of crap punctuated by moments of greatness?

Yeah.

Truth is, The Beatles were truly the sum of their parts.

/oh, and George Martin
 
2010-09-04 04:44:43 AM
Of course he died and was replaced by a walrus, who do you think wrote that song?!?
 
2010-09-04 05:03:51 AM
In related news John Lennon is alive and still "practicing" (new window)
 
2010-09-04 05:08:09 AM
Paul was killed because he was going to reveal who really shot JFK.
 
2010-09-04 05:27:11 AM
LewDux: In related news John Lennon is alive and still "practicing" (new window)

I dont get it
 
2010-09-04 06:01:50 AM
steamingpile: LewDux: In related news John Lennon is alive and still "practicing" (new window)

I dont get it


Hint:
www.retrohound.com
 
2010-09-04 06:21:32 AM
FTFA: "a secret Paul McCartney look-alike contest staged by Dick Clark's American Bandstand"

Maybe I'm slow, but how do you stage a secret contest on broadcast television?

My theory is that Paul faked his own death because he was tired of touring and of being unable to have any kind of normal life. EMI was terrified by the prospective cost of losing the Beatles so they blackmailed Paul into returning and then covered up the fake death. They also paid rogue MI5 agents to kill Brian Epstein to stop him from revealing the truth. John then started the "Paul is dead" hoax in revenge, using details from the fake death, to screw with the authorities. The Beatles scattered clues to this whole story if you know how to read them. For example, Paul is barefoot on the cover of Abbey Road to symbolize his resistance to participating in the album.

My documentary will be coming out next month.
 
2010-09-04 06:43:23 AM
FishyFred: I know that the Beatles found the rumors amusing and that they encouraged it with little red herrings because it drove the nuts even crazier.

And they even came out and SAID THAT'S WHAT THEY WERE DOING!

And still people didn't believe them.
 
2010-09-04 06:45:33 AM
LewDux: In related news John Lennon is alive and still "practicing" (new window)

I prefer the Jagz Kooner remix
 
2010-09-04 07:35:54 AM
Ishkur: FishyFred: I know that the Beatles found the rumors amusing and that they encouraged it with little red herrings because it drove the nuts even crazier.

And they even came out and SAID THAT'S WHAT THEY WERE DOING!

And still people didn't believe them.


Remember the rules:
1 - Anything that favors the existence of a conspiracy simply proves the existence of the conspiracy.
2 - Anything that opposes the existence of a conspiracy simply proves how large the conspiracy is.

It makes me give in and cry...
 
2010-09-04 07:37:38 AM
I prefer to believe that the real Paul died and that the shiatty music we got during the Wings days was done by a doppleganger.

It still blows anything done by the Plastic Ono Band out of the water.
 
2010-09-04 08:07:53 AM
ertznay: It still blows anything done by the Plastic Ono Band out of the water.

Meh.
 
2010-09-04 08:22:01 AM
ertznay: I prefer to believe that the real Paul died and that the shiatty music we got during the Wings days was done by a doppleganger.

It still blows anything done by the Plastic Ono Band out of the water.


McCartney was/is an entertainer. Lennon was the artist.
 
2010-09-04 08:43:54 AM
Ishkur: FishyFred: I know that the Beatles found the rumors amusing and that they encouraged it with little red herrings because it drove the nuts even crazier.

And they even came out and SAID THAT'S WHAT THEY WERE DOING!

And still people didn't believe them.


Kind of like when I was watching a Top Gear episode from 2005 last night and caugt Clarkson using the phrase " A Stig"
Makes me wonder if that was a slip or planned or what. Now I want to go back and see how many other times he said that.
 
2010-09-04 08:45:33 AM
I knew it!! Everyone said I was crazy but who is crazy know?

The marrying of the one-legged prostitute really gave it away.
 
2010-09-04 08:46:47 AM
know=now
 
2010-09-04 08:52:47 AM
I wonder if the "Ancient Aliens" people believe this, too. The logic is about the same.
 
2010-09-04 09:17:14 AM
Well, it seems like it would be easy enough to ask the ancient Dick Clark whether or not his production company ever held a secret Paul McCarney look alike contest,right?
I was a kid during the Paul McCarney is Dead mania, I remember it was a lot of fun playing the songs backwards and looking for clues in the albums, I also remember that even at 12 it seemed pretty far fetched to me. Perhaps this documentary maker is slightly retarded.
 
2010-09-04 09:46:35 AM
I watched the trailer from the website and it looks to me that this is just a documentary about the whole "Paul is Dead" thing told from the perspective of those who think it's real. The supposed narration by George Harrison sounds very dramatic and "acted" and clearly recorded in a studio. It made me think of the marketing for The Blair Witch Project a long time ago, where the movie makers wanted you to believe those tapes were real.
 
2010-09-04 11:13:35 AM
cretinbob: Kind of like when I was watching a Top Gear episode from 2005 last night and caugt Clarkson using the phrase " A Stig"
Makes me wonder if that was a slip or planned or what. Now I want to go back and see how many other times he said that.


Some say he is Paul McCartney's corpse.
 
2010-09-04 11:31:56 AM
t0.gstatic.com
 
2010-09-04 11:35:03 AM
ertznay: I prefer to believe that the real Paul died and that the shiatty music we got during the Wings days was done by a doppleganger.

It still blows anything done by the Plastic Ono Band out of the water.


How different the world would have been if Dirty Mac became a touring/recording band?
Yer Blues - Live (new window)
 
2010-09-04 11:40:58 AM
 
2010-09-04 12:09:55 PM
FredaDeStilleto: ertznay: I prefer to believe that the real Paul died and that the shiatty music we got during the Wings days was done by a doppleganger.

It still blows anything done by the Plastic Ono Band out of the water.

McCartney was/is an entertainer. Lennon was the artist.


Please. McCartney is just as much of an artist as Lennon. Paul just uses a different palette. And make no mistake Lennon released a lot of shiatty music as a solo artist, too.

It's just plain stupid to pit one against the other.
 
2010-09-04 12:10:22 PM
czetie: My theory is that Paul faked his own death because he was tired of touring and of being unable to have any kind of normal life. EMI was terrified by the prospective cost of losing the Beatles so they blackmailed Paul into returning and then covered up the fake death. They also paid rogue MI5 agents to kill Brian Epstein to stop him from revealing the truth. John then started the "Paul is dead" hoax in revenge, using details from the fake death, to screw with the authorities. The Beatles scattered clues to this whole story if you know how to read them. For example, Paul is barefoot on the cover of Abbey Road to symbolize his resistance to participating in the album.

I love a good conspiracy theory (hey, who doesn't, right?) and this one definitely blows the original Paul Is Dead theory out of the water. It's got multiple switchbacks, killings, blackmail, and spies. Just about perfect. +1, dude, good job.
 
2010-09-04 12:15:52 PM
FredaDeStilleto: ertznay: I prefer to believe that the real Paul died and that the shiatty music we got during the Wings days was done by a doppleganger.

It still blows anything done by the Plastic Ono Band out of the water.

McCartney was/is an entertainer. Lennon was the artist.



Aren't you short-selling both of them a wee bit?

Listen to some of Paul's greatest songs ("And I Love Her"; "Blackbird"; "And Your Bird Can Sing") and tell me that is not pure artistry. Now dig up the Apple Rooftop concert on YouTube and marvel at John's showmanship on guitar and vocals and tell me that man was not born to entertain.

Perhaps Paul was more extroverted and John introverted, but the Beatles were so damned successful (and still loved to this day) because all of them** were great songwriters, great performers, and great media personalities.

**even Ringo
 
2010-09-04 12:30:24 PM
czetie: FTFA: "a secret Paul McCartney look-alike contest staged by Dick Clark's American Bandstand"

Maybe I'm slow, but how do you stage a secret contest on broadcast television?

My theory is that Paul faked his own death because he was tired of touring and of being unable to have any kind of normal life. EMI was terrified by the prospective cost of losing the Beatles so they blackmailed Paul into returning and then covered up the fake death. They also paid rogue MI5 agents to kill Brian Epstein to stop him from revealing the truth. John then started the "Paul is dead" hoax in revenge, using details from the fake death, to screw with the authorities. The Beatles scattered clues to this whole story if you know how to read them. For example, Paul is barefoot on the cover of Abbey Road to symbolize his resistance to participating in the album.

My documentary will be coming out next month.


You're mostly right, except that he was not really tired of touring. Instead, Paul faked his death because he wanted to go underground and help Gandhi (who has also faked his own death) bust up a heroin smuggling ring for Interpol.


It's no coincidence that Ben Kingsley (who played Gandhi in the movie Gandhi) and Gene Hackman (who played the actual Gandhi-A.K.A. "Popeye" Doyle in The French Connection) both have a Bacon Number of 2.

Hackman was in Welcome to Mooseport with Deborah Grover who was in Where the Truth Lies with Kevin Bacon, while Kingsley was in The Love Guru (get it?) with Sean Cullen who was also in... yeah, you guessed it, Where the Truth Lies with Kevin Bacon.

Where the truth LIES. Get it? It's so obvious! It's a typical Masonic in-joke. They like to hide the clues in plain sight. It's a play on words- the "lie" of the fake deaths coupled with the "lying" of a body in the grave is a clear indication that Gandhi and McCartney were both sources of truth who had to be silenced- not actually killed, but recruited and turned into agents of the Illuminati.

Obviously.
 
2010-09-04 12:57:02 PM
E burres stigano!
 
2010-09-04 01:00:57 PM
TheHopeDiamond: E burres stigano!

If you sing the title of "Sgt. Rutter's Only Darts Club Band" backwards it sounds uncannily like "dnab bulc strad ylno srettur tnaegres."
 
2010-09-04 01:21:00 PM
that'll teach Paul not to piss off "fox and friends" by telling everyone at the Whitehouse (where he as honored for the song 'michelle' by the Library of Congress) that its nice to have a President now who knows what a library is......ouch. even Turdblossom rove winced at that one.


Fox and their CONservative owners did not like that, even though its the truth. course, why would blue blood republican aristocrats be interested in the truth?? the truth isn't going to get them their much deserved tax cuts. the truth is not going to keep that nosy government off wall street banker criminals while they are robbing this nation blind.
 
2010-09-04 01:25:06 PM
I remember reading somewhere that another theory was that the "paul is dead" hoax was started by the record company in america to boost sales [hopefully people would buy albums to look for clues] after Lennon's "bigger than jesus" quote caused many records and whatnot to be burned and fans lost in the ensuing controversy.
 
2010-09-04 01:28:00 PM
FloydA: czetie: FTFA: "a secret Paul McCartney look-alike contest staged by Dick Clark's American Bandstand"

Maybe I'm slow, but how do you stage a secret contest on broadcast television?

My theory is that Paul faked his own death because he was tired of touring and of being unable to have any kind of normal life. EMI was terrified by the prospective cost of losing the Beatles so they blackmailed Paul into returning and then covered up the fake death. They also paid rogue MI5 agents to kill Brian Epstein to stop him from revealing the truth. John then started the "Paul is dead" hoax in revenge, using details from the fake death, to screw with the authorities. The Beatles scattered clues to this whole story if you know how to read them. For example, Paul is barefoot on the cover of Abbey Road to symbolize his resistance to participating in the album.

My documentary will be coming out next month.

You're mostly right, except that he was not really tired of touring. Instead, Paul faked his death because he wanted to go underground and help Gandhi (who has also faked his own death) bust up a heroin smuggling ring for Interpol.


It's no coincidence that Ben Kingsley (who played Gandhi in the movie Gandhi) and Gene Hackman (who played the actual Gandhi-A.K.A. "Popeye" Doyle in The French Connection) both have a Bacon Number of 2.

Hackman was in Welcome to Mooseport with Deborah Grover who was in Where the Truth Lies with Kevin Bacon, while Kingsley was in The Love Guru (get it?) with Sean Cullen who was also in... yeah, you guessed it, Where the Truth Lies with Kevin Bacon.

Where the truth LIES. Get it? It's so obvious! It's a typical Masonic in-joke. They like to hide the clues in plain sight. It's a play on words- the "lie" of the fake deaths coupled with the "lying" of a body in the grave is a clear indication that Gandhi and McCartney were both sources of truth who had to be silenced- not actually killed, but recruited and turned into agents of the Illuminati.

Obviously.


Your particular brand of crazy is pretty epic.
 
2010-09-04 01:50:27 PM
MadSkillz:

Your particular brand of crazy is pretty epic.



You may scoff, but I learned from my guru, the Great Prophet Lester. He is truly wise.

i105.photobucket.com
 
2010-09-04 01:59:58 PM
FredaDeStilleto: ertznay: I prefer to believe that the real Paul died and that the shiatty music we got during the Wings days was done by a doppleganger.

It still blows anything done by the Plastic Ono Band out of the water.

McCartney was/is an entertainer. Lennon was the artist.


I don't think they're that easily pigeon holed.

Ram is a great album.
 
2010-09-04 02:05:23 PM
mud_shark: Lennon's Tribute to Yoko and she gets puts in a gunny sack (new window)


How could Paul ever compete with that level of brilliance?
 
2010-09-04 02:09:19 PM
DKinMN: FredaDeStilleto: ertznay: I prefer to believe that the real Paul died and that the shiatty music we got during the Wings days was done by a doppleganger.

It still blows anything done by the Plastic Ono Band out of the water.

McCartney was/is an entertainer. Lennon was the artist.

I don't think they're that easily pigeon holed.

Ram is a great album.


Ram on.

My favorite post-Beatle album by any of 'em.

/Venus and Mars is fun, too.
 
2010-09-04 02:11:44 PM
Daytime Nightime Suffering.

That is all (she gets)
 
2010-09-04 02:21:42 PM
Paul is neither alive nor dead:

img26.imageshack.us
 
2010-09-04 02:24:16 PM
Wow, this is just as interesting as when I submitted a link on the exact same thing four weeks ago.

/bawwww
 
2010-09-04 02:28:04 PM
Stig's been dead for ages, honestly!
 
2010-09-04 02:31:49 PM
shoegaze99: I wonder if the "Ancient Aliens" people believe this, too. The logic is about the same.

Paul is buried in a sound stage in Utah?
 
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