He just forgot to miss the ground.

Maybe he thought he was walking on sunshine.

Langston: Guy who survived 39 floor suicide attempt may have believed he could fly

Well, for the first 38 floors, he was absolutely correct.

no, that was just falling WITH STYLE!

MaxxLarge: At least he understood the trick to flying:

Never, never land.



Actually, I believe it's more that you have to throw yourself at the ground very hard... and miss.

Meh. I bet he was probably a Mets fan.

They suck, you know....

DigitalSorceress: MaxxLarge: At least he understood the trick to flying:

Never, never land.



Actually, I believe it's more that you have to throw yourself at the ground very hard... and miss.


/lawl at self - realized what you did there after I posted
//slashie of shame!

38 floors

/not including the mezzanine
/knows when a sidewalk looks its best

When you have an EpicFail of 39-story proportions where do you go from here? Reality TV Show? over take M. Night's directorial career? Get elected in 2012 and start 2 new wars?

The Daily News probably did it on purpose. That's how the NY papers work, always trying to live up to the Post in terms of mixing humor with news.

I still liked the New York Post's article yesterday from the perspective of the lady that owned the car, complaining that she just had it detailed and changed the oil!

There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. [...] Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties. - DA

The New York Daily News has really gotten better since they let 4chaners edit content.

\concurs

Rawry: There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. [...] Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties. - DA

The trick is to get distracted right before you hit. Like noticing a bike theft or a bird's nest. Also, don't let gravity see you.

I think Stalin put it best when his kid tried to kill himself. Something to the effect of: "he's so stupid he couldn't even kill himself correctly."
/but 40 stories? holy shiat!
//MY CAR!!!

You can't fly without getting past the TSA first.

This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place and he takes a seat at the bar.

"This is a nice place. I've never been here before," he says to the guy next to him.

"Oh, really?" the other replies. "It is a nice place. It's also a very special bar."

"Why is that?" the first guy asks.

"Well, you see that window over there, fourth from the right? Well, the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out you'll fall about 50 feet before the wind catches you and you're pushed back up."

"No way! That's impossible," the guy scoffs.

"Not at all. Take a look," the other man replies, and with that the walks over to the window and opens it.

He climbs over the sill and falls out. He drops 10... 20...30...40... 50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh! He comes right back up and sails back through the window.

"See? It's fun. You should try it," he says.

"Try it?! I don't even believe I saw it!" the first man shouts.

"It's easy. Watch, I'll do it again." And with that, he falls out the window again. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40... 50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh! He comes right back up and sails back through the window.

"Give it a try. It's a blast," he says.

"Well what the heck, I'll give it a try," the first man says, and proceeds to fall out the window. He falls 10... 20...30...40... 50...60...70...80...90...100 feet and Splat!! He ends up as road kill on the sidewalk.

After watching this, the second guy casually closes the window, heads back to the bar, and orders a drink. The bartender arrives with the drink and says:

"You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."

HawgWild: Bartleby the Scrivener: \concurs



Nana-nana boo-boo
Stick your head in doo-doo

LAUGHTER OL

toddalmighty: Not ironic.

/Irony Police badge #1879

Not to us, no. But it was to him.

"Second star on the right, then straight on till morn- AAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!"

If only he had watched the opening scene to Kick-Ass, he might have learned what technically happens when humans try to fly.

Meh. Looks like an earth-bound misfit to me.

As a headline for trolling the irony police, it blows.

1/10

It doesn't mean anything. Everyone falls the first time.



/Whoa...

Somebody remind Magill that he needs happy thoughts AND pixie dust.

Or, better yet, a canopy designed for BASE jumping.

/Would make the same jump
//Need access to the outside of the building and a getaway driver
//Oh yeah - and a trip to NYC

Was listeneing to Van Halen's "Jump!"

Must've played too much D&D. "My 29th level thief can fly! I can fly!"

-l

/the 80s called and want their unfounded rumors back.

Idiot. Only British people can fly.

/obvious