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(News.com.au) Misc Armed men rob adult store, beat it before police arrive   (news.com.au) divider line 60
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3230 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Sep 2010 at 10:16 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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chestermania [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 06:41:04 PM
missed it by "T"hat much...
 
calbert [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 09:37:17 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

Beat If, Beat If
 
dark side of the moon [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 09:37:19 PM
chestermania: missed it by "T"hat much...
 
FirstNationalBastard [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 09:41:19 PM
Poor If.

I hope he's okay.

Those bastards better not have beaten him too badly!
 
shanrick [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 09:58:58 PM
If I only had a brain.
 
shanrick [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:04:10 PM
Please, mods, don't correct the headline and then delete all these off topic posts. It's Thursday night and it's been a helluva week. Let us drink our beer and eat our red meat and have our fun with subby.
 
elvisaintdead [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:06:08 PM
Clearly, these men were hardened criminals.
 
Hiro Nakamura [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:07:23 PM
elvisaintdead: Clearly, these men were hardened criminals.

When given a few years, these criminals really come into their own.
 
NutWrench
2010-09-02 10:08:22 PM
Robber: No large piles of money in safes?

Assistant: No, sir.

Robber: No deposit accounts?

Assistant: No sir.

Robber: No piles of cash in easy to carry bags?

Assistant: None at all sir.

Robber: No luncheon vouchers?

Assistant: No, sir.

Robber: Fine, fine. Well, um... adopt, adapt and improve. Just a double-headed blue jelly dildo, please.

/With apologies to Monty Python
 
Barakku
2010-09-02 10:18:13 PM
I'm beating if
 
dumpstertize
2010-09-02 10:21:18 PM
I find it odd that they did not take any porn. Just cash, cigarettes, and a drug scale.

You broke into a candy shop, but you didn't take any sweets?
 
Tanishh
2010-09-02 10:24:44 PM
calbert: Beat If, Beat If

I'm glad I swallowed my mouthful of coke before I got to your post, or else my keyboard would need some cleaning. Good show!
 
Penman
2010-09-02 10:25:44 PM
if (!policeArrive)
    beat();
else
    surrender();
 
Balchinian
2010-09-02 10:29:18 PM
I'll be in my bank.
 
j.carney
2010-09-02 10:30:09 PM
Armed men rob adult store, beat if it before police arrive came.

/ftfsubby
 
Jclark666 [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:30:25 PM
Farking proofreading, how does if work?
 
Make More Hinjews
2010-09-02 10:30:37 PM
Tanishh: I'm glad I swallowed my mouthful of coke

Fark is a helluva drug.
 
thisisyourbrainonFark
2010-09-02 10:31:36 PM
You're lucky this iffy story got greenlit, subby.
 
LadyMech
2010-09-02 10:31:51 PM
If consequences will be the same?
 
CreepyBasementGuy
2010-09-02 10:32:29 PM
This one will make it to the final round.
 
jondulars
2010-09-02 10:35:33 PM
just beef it beef it.....
 
rFarke
2010-09-02 10:36:14 PM
If 'if' and 'beat' were meat, then the police came across a rare treat
 
djkutch [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:46:46 PM
j.carney: Armed men rob adult store, beat if it before police arrive came.

/ftfsubby

I suck. Admins haven't saved me. I'm taking a beating.
 
thisisyourbrainonFark
2010-09-02 10:49:07 PM
djkutch: j.carney: Armed men rob adult store, beat if it before police arrive came.

/ftfsubby

I suck. Admins haven't saved me. I'm taking a beating.

It they hadn't saved you, if wouldn't be as much fun. ;)
 
katerbug72 [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:49:25 PM
haha This thread is making me giggle. Fank you, farkers.
 
thisisyourbrainonFark
2010-09-02 10:50:33 PM
(had)
 
calbert [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:50:45 PM
djkutch: j.carney: Armed men rob adult store, beat if it before police arrive came.

/ftfsubby

I suck. Admins haven't saved me. I'm taking a beating beat if.


ftfy

;)
 
bangman
2010-09-02 10:51:58 PM
You mean your taking a beafing.
 
drjekel_mrhyde
2010-09-02 10:55:35 PM
djkutch: j.carney: Armed men rob adult store, beat if it before police arrive came.

/ftfsubby

I suck. Admins haven't saved me. I'm taking a beating.
digging yourself deeper I see man
 
katerbug72 [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:55:45 PM
bangman: You mean your taking a beafing.

lmao!
 
Xanthobilly
2010-09-02 11:05:04 PM
Subby is getting whipped like a Devo music video. "You can whip if!"


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
numbone
2010-09-02 11:08:25 PM
Beaf meeters
 
Studson
2010-09-02 11:10:28 PM
they never saw it coming
 
FirstNationalBastard [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:12:29 PM
Well, it looks like they beat If so bad, that he turned into an "It".
 
Jclark666 [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:14:43 PM
Boo.
 
animeorb
2010-09-02 11:15:59 PM
Somehow I think they were talking about a different kind of "adult store", the ones where you buy stuff to...wait, what was I talking about again?
 
Seth'n'Spectrum
2010-09-02 11:16:03 PM
Jclark666: Boo.

This. Goddamn if, mods.
 
Das Kiwizoid
2010-09-02 11:19:51 PM
At least they can't possibly delete all the comments now, because then if would be commentless.
 
FirstNationalBastard [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:20:58 PM
Das Kiwizoid: At least they can't possibly delete all the comments now, because then if would be commentless.

9-2-2010

NEVER FORGIF!
 
lcurtisl
2010-09-02 11:23:09 PM
I got made fun of when I was subby, too, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/submitted the link to page 2 of an article.
 
Dellirium
2010-09-02 11:28:48 PM
Did they leave any evidence?


Signed,
Sir Spooge
 
katerbug72 [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:32:10 PM
Awww, why'd they go and fix it?
 
Another user name
2010-09-02 11:38:24 PM
I always wanted to say this
So she hid handcuffs in her hoo-ha?
 
RayD8
2010-09-02 11:55:19 PM
Don't worry subby, you'll get over if.
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:56:31 PM
I do hate when the modmins fix a headline before everyone gets to appreciate the joke.

That said, a better headline would still have been "Pair of hard men stick up adult store, beat it before cops come."

Or: "Team of master beaters beat adult store clerk, dial 911 till cops come."

You know, just for future reference.
 
RayD8
2010-09-03 12:00:59 AM
Gyrfalcon: I do hate when the modmins fix a headline before everyone gets to appreciate the joke.

That said, a better headline would still have been "Pair of hard men stick up adult store, beat it before cops come."

Or: "Team of master beaters beatDuo balls adult store clerk, dial 911 till cops come."

You know, just for future reference.

FTFY.
 
Cheesus
2010-09-03 12:02:05 AM
lcurtisl: I got made fun of when I was subby, too, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/submitted the link to page 2 of an article.

You shouldn't be alive right now. I swear, you farkers are slacking off big time.

/grabs some rope, jumper cables, and a car battery
 
j.carney
2010-09-03 12:04:24 AM
RayD8: Don't worry subby, you'll get over if.

What!? IF what!? Don't leave us hangin', man!
 
rescue11cpt [TotalFark]
2010-09-03 12:13:30 AM
Aww shif, I saw her tifs.
 
thisisyourbrainonFark
2010-09-03 12:14:59 AM
It dun gone and goofed (and I sincerely hope that you did not befall that fate), if same consequences will be never.
 
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