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(Breitbart.com) Fail Quite possibly the worst music review ever written; Breitbart slams Sheryl Crow, accuses her of making "muzak"   (bighollywood.breitbart.com) divider line 62
More: Fail, Sheryl Crow, Dixie Chicks, Eat Pray Love, singing voices, background vocals, background music, muzak, crows  
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1782 clicks; posted to Fail on 02 Sep 2010 at 11:59 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



62 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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FireBreathingLiberal [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 05:40:26 PM
Breitbart sez "Pat Boone Rocks"
 
Quasar [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 05:47:12 PM
[screech]I'm leavin' Las VegaaaaAAAAAAssssssss[/screech]
 
AdolfOliverPanties [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 05:48:11 PM
bighollywood.breitbart.com

This is the reviewer. A book that should definitely be judged by its cover.
 
gilgigamesh
2010-09-02 05:49:04 PM
Goddammit Subby don't you make me agree with friggin Breitbart.

Oh well, a broken clock, etc etc.
 
Nabb1 [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 05:49:22 PM
Come on, now, are we so outraged at Breitbart that we are going to defend Sheryl Crow's music? That is just a descent into madness.
 
kmmontandon
2010-09-02 05:57:47 PM
... I don't know who to root for.

Is there any way they can BOTH lose?
 
krelborne
2010-09-02 06:02:12 PM
TFA: Not one of the twelve tracks on the album is under four minutes, and for good reason. Ms. Crow understands the helpfulness of extending the fast-paced opener "Our Love is Fading" from what could be a comfortable 2 ½ minutes to nearly 6 ½.

"Comfortable". Yeah, we're familiar with how the Breitbart crowd likes their clips cut short.
 
House of Tards
2010-09-02 06:10:15 PM
Nabb1: Come on, now, are we so outraged at Breitbart that we are going to defend Sheryl Crow's music? That is just a descent into madness.

Sounds like a change would do you good.
 
2wolves [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 06:39:04 PM
Nabb1: Come on, now, are we so outraged at Breitbart that we are going to defend Sheryl Crow's music? That is just a descent into madness.

Can't I reject both?
 
SilentStrider [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 09:51:13 PM
Sheryl Crow deserves at least purgatory for inflicting her cover of Sweet Child'o'Mine on the world.
 
Flab [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 09:59:21 PM
2wolves: Can't I reject both?

If it makes you happy.
 
strangeguitar
2010-09-02 10:32:46 PM
gilgigamesh: Goddammit Subby don't you make me agree with friggin Breitbart.

Oh well, a broken clock, etc etc.

That's my thought exactly.
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:37:08 PM
Whether you agree with his assessment or not, the article is deliciously satirical.

I actually believe that he likes the album for all the same reasons I would hate an album.
 
Demetrius [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:37:39 PM

Regardless of my opinion of Sheryl Crow, I would just like to say:


"Shut up Breitbart, you cock!"
 
The English Major [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:39:39 PM
Flab: 2wolves: Can't I reject both?

If it makes you happy.

Perhaps a change would you you good, 2wolves.
 
thomps [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:44:19 PM
can we instead just make fun of this guy for taking the time to write a review of a sheryl crow album?
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:50:21 PM
thomps: can we instead just make fun of this guy for taking the time to write a review of a sheryl crow album?

All I want to do is have some fun.
 
thomps [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 10:51:52 PM
i hate all of you.
 
The English Major [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:04:33 PM
thomps: i hate all of you.

I figured you'd be Strong Enough to stay in this thread.
 
dugitman [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:05:21 PM
thomps: i hate all of you.

C'mon, C'mon. We Do What We Can.
 
thomps [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:07:21 PM
The English Major: thomps: i hate all of you.

I figured you'd be Strong Enough to stay in this thread.

ha is that even a song title? does sheryl crow have enough hits to pull this thread through? i don't remember her as ever being more than minorly relevant and in 2010 it's pretty hilarious that this dude would follow up his arcade fire biatchfest with a sheryl crow biatchfest? breitbart picks weird battles.
 
dugitman [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:10:57 PM
thomps: ha is that even a song title? does sheryl crow have enough hits to pull this thread through?

No One Said It Would Be Easy
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:19:31 PM
thomps: does sheryl crow have enough hits to pull this thread through?

I don't even know if she has enough tits to pull this thread through.

images.askmen.com

Make It Go Away
 
The English Major [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:22:23 PM
thomps: The English Major: thomps: i hate all of you.

I figured you'd be Strong Enough to stay in this thread.

ha is that even a song title? does sheryl crow have enough hits to pull this thread through? i don't remember her as ever being more than minorly relevant and in 2010 it's pretty hilarious that this dude would follow up his arcade fire biatchfest with a sheryl crow biatchfest? breitbart picks weird battles.

Yeah, she even put out a greatest hits back in 2003. (new window)

Breitbart: We Can't Even Persecute Sheryl Crow
 
imbrial
2010-09-02 11:24:50 PM
Dear doughy, unfarkable reviewer with visible stale cheese breath:

Kindly EABOD and DIAF, her tangible, material support of education in one of the nation's poorest congressional districts already far exceeds what you will ever do with your crusty kleenex infested life.
 
thomps [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:26:23 PM
The English Major: thomps: The English Major: thomps: i hate all of you.

I figured you'd be Strong Enough to stay in this thread.

ha is that even a song title? does sheryl crow have enough hits to pull this thread through? i don't remember her as ever being more than minorly relevant and in 2010 it's pretty hilarious that this dude would follow up his arcade fire biatchfest with a sheryl crow biatchfest? breitbart picks weird battles.

Yeah, she even put out a greatest hits back in 2003. (new window)

Breitbart: We Can't Even Persecute Sheryl Crow

are you even technically allowed to make new music after releasing a "very best of" album? this guy, in the year 2010, purchased a new cheryl crow album, listened to it, contemplated its merit, and then wrote 1000 words about it. see also, his review from july 2010 of "the 2009 album of the year."
 
The English Major [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:40:40 PM
thomps: are you even technically allowed to make new music after releasing a "very best of" album? this guy, in the year 2010, purchased a new cheryl crow album, listened to it, contemplated its merit, and then wrote 1000 words about it. see also, his review from july 2010 of "the 2009 album of the year."

I think of those types of best-of albums as fulfilling a contract. Off the top of my head, The Eagles, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, Pet Shop Boys, Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Nick Cave, and David Bowie have all done the "greatest hits" or "singles" releases after a few albums were released.
Sheryl Crow, though, had a few hits. Tuesday Night Music Club is a good album.
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:44:41 PM
I do agree with your premise, thomps...the words "So Far" should be added to the end of the title of those greatest hits albums.
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:45:34 PM
"So Far"

Copyright pending!

Oh dammit, I guess it's already been done.
 
The English Major [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:49:18 PM
Icicle Works has a "greatest hits" collection. Talk about false advertising.

Oh, and, Demetrius: "Shut up Breitbart, you cock!"
 
thomps [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:54:49 PM
jaylectricity: "So Far"

Copyright pending!

Oh dammit, I guess it's already been done.

yeah johnny rotten is sneering angrily at your copyright.
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2010-09-02 11:59:44 PM
"As of now"

Copyright pending!
 
iccky
2010-09-03 12:31:29 AM
The English Major: thomps: are you even technically allowed to make new music after releasing a "very best of" album? this guy, in the year 2010, purchased a new cheryl crow album, listened to it, contemplated its merit, and then wrote 1000 words about it. see also, his review from july 2010 of "the 2009 album of the year."

I think of those types of best-of albums as fulfilling a contract. Off the top of my head, The Eagles, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, Pet Shop Boys, Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Nick Cave, and David Bowie have all done the "greatest hits" or "singles" releases after a few albums were released.
Sheryl Crow, though, had a few hits. Tuesday Night Music Club is a good album.

Red Hot Chille Peppers released a greatest hits album called What Hits!? before they released "One Hot Minute," Californication or most of the songs that they're known for today.

Though honestly I wish they'd stopped after Mother's Milk
 
Scottybobotty
2010-09-03 12:46:47 AM
iccky: Though honestly I wish they'd stopped after Mother's Milk

This. The latest releases by RHCP are very weak.
 
Neondistraction
2010-09-03 12:57:39 AM
SilentStrider: Sheryl Crow deserves at least purgatory for inflicting her cover of Sweet Child'o'Mine on the world.

This.

Also, when you consider her cover of Dyer Maker I think she's earned a front row seat on that bus to hell.

And don't even get me started on that abomination she created with Kid Rock...
 
saintstryfe
2010-09-03 01:11:51 AM
I don't like Sheryl Crow, but that's just because I don't dig her music. She could, in theory, make good music at some point. And as a human being she's probably a more then fine person.

I don't like Breitbart because he's a scummy, evil human being. No redemption for him that I can think of.
 
Uzzah
2010-09-03 01:29:13 AM
The English Major: Icicle Works has a "greatest hits" collection. Talk about false advertising.

image.allmusic.com

How does it differ from the only album Ritchie ever released? It pretty much doesn't.
 
SnakeMan [TotalFark]
2010-09-03 01:44:11 AM
So because breitbart.com hates her, now I have to like trash like "Soak Up the Sun"? Fark all of you.
 
Rockdrummer
2010-09-03 01:54:24 AM
Why would you denigrate Breitbart? Oh I get it, any one who points out hypocrisy and fraud on the left is immediately denigrated, truth be damned. Kinda like Fox news.
 
LucklessWonder
2010-09-03 02:00:04 AM
cdn-www.cracked.com
cdn-www.cracked.com


Greatest hits/best of albums are meaningless
 
soseussme
2010-09-03 02:32:39 AM
I care even less what not-so-Breitbart thinks about music than I do what he thinks about politics, if that's actually possible.
 
zerkalo
2010-09-03 03:05:27 AM
Finding anything remotely redemming about Sheryl Crows takes serious ball
 
simon bennet robbins oppenhiem and tap
2010-09-03 04:56:55 AM
kevinfamous.com
"Everyone here is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
 
seabass242
2010-09-03 07:37:18 AM
iccky: m.

Red Hot Chille Peppers released a greatest hits album called What Hits!? before they released "One Hot Minute," Californication or most of the songs that they're known for today.

Though honestly I wish they'd stopped after Mother's Milk

I'll never understand the Mother's Milk phenomenon. Anyone who claims to like the chili peppers says they should have stopped there. Blood Sugar Sex Magic is a masterpiece with not a single miss on the entire album, and it's a long album. The same can not be said for Mother's Milk, and I like Mother Milk a lot.
 
Still Itchy
2010-09-03 08:19:49 AM
SilentStrider: Sheryl Crow deserves at least purgatory for inflicting her cover of Sweet Child'o'Mine on the world.

I heard this abortion of a cover at Starbucks the other day...I got the giggles so bad I could barely pay for my coffee. Cashier asked what was so funny and all I could do was point at the ceiling speaker while walking out laughing.
 
2wolves [TotalFark]
2010-09-03 08:30:49 AM
The English Major: Flab: 2wolves: Can't I reject both?

If it makes you happy.

Perhaps a change would you you good, 2wolves.

I see what both of you did there.
 
bigbadideasinaction
2010-09-03 08:52:13 AM
krelborne: "Comfortable". Yeah, we're familiar with how the Breitbart crowd likes their clips cut short.

applause.jpg
 
Cortez the Killer
2010-09-03 09:12:33 AM
Tsk Tsk Breitbart....trying to look cool by ripping off John Lennon's slam on Paul from the song "How Do You Sleep".

Pro Tip: You will never, ever be cool.
 
Great_Milenko
2010-09-03 09:25:26 AM
I loved this little gem:

especially great if you prefer the saxophone sound of Kenny G to that of groups like Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings with their aggressive-nay, threatening! feel).

I don't know which part is funnier. That someone slamming Cheryl Crow would use Kenny G as an example of a superior artist, or that a group that is basically recreating the classic Motown sound is "threatening".

I too think "shut up breitbart, you cock" sums things up nicely.
 
Great_Milenko
2010-09-03 09:27:27 AM
Upon further review, the above should be amended to "shut up erza dulis, you cock".

/breitbart still sucks
//and can shut up, you cock as well
 
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