Yeah, but I bet with the lasers he's got on that chair, he could take out the Super Devil.

"For 200 years the Colombian people have endured repression, hunger, injustice and violence, only because of their solid faith that once in heaven everything will be alright. Without this loyalty to God and His one and only representative on earth, the Church, Colombians may not be able to put up with what they are made to endure (and demand change),"

Perhaps the oppressed masses will be more willing to demand change here on earth if they realize that they don't have eternal paradise to look forward to when they die.

Lolwut?

Isn't it time these religious asshats brought back the Spanish Inquisition? I bet they'd love to. We wouldn't be able to Torquemada it.

That's ok. Hawking will be talking to God very soon, and He will cast him down saying "Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels."

God always gets the last word.

Stephen Hawking: Great Troll or Greatest Troll?

/who feels like 'shopping the successful troll guy into a wheelchair?

MorningBreath: Never listen to a man who won't stand up for his beliefs.

imagine a speak and spell saying 'oh snap'.

"It is exactly these kind of lies, haunting humanity ever since the so-called 'enlightment,' that have created communism," the inspector general warned the minister.

Looney tunes, the period of enlightenment brought us out of the Dark Ages served up by Religion.

LOVE THE PICTURE!!!

I've already seen the Jesus freaks getting ready to declare war on Hawking; one said that his disability was caused by Jesus, who has a "sense of humor" and is getting "revenge" on Hawking for daring to believe in science and reason instead of magic and superstition.

If anyone's faith is threatened by a scientist's opinions, that person had very weak faith to begin with.

Which is probably a good thing. Abandon the foolish faith that justifies your suffering and demand real change now, as opposed to possible paradise after you're already dead. Otherwise, it's like sitting all the way through a Shyamalan movie because you're convinced the "twist' at the end will make all the suffering worthwhile -- it could be so, but probably not, and you don't get to choose another movie just because you sat through a crap one.

For 200 years the Colombian people have endured repression, hunger, injustice and violence, only because of their solid faith that once in heaven everything will be alright. Without this loyalty to God and His one and only representative on earth, the Church, Colombians may not be able to put up with what they are made to endure (and I'd be out a job)" Ordoñez wrote to Foreign Minister Maria Angela Holguin.

MasterThief: Disinformation is Colombia Reports' satire section. Photos in this section may be manipulated and information may be completely false. If you want to contribute to this section, feel free to send us your ideas.

Double-secret-reverse Poe's Law?


I'm loving some of their Onion-style fake stories in the "Disinformation" section!

Colombia kills FARC commander's favorite parrot

Santos and Blair hold private botox conference

WorldCitizen: "For 200 years the Colombian people have endured repression, hunger, injustice and violence, only because of their solid faith that once in heaven everything will be alright. Without this loyalty to God and His one and only representative on earth, the Church, Colombians may not be able to put up with what they are made to endure (and demand change)," Ordoñez wrote to Foreign Minister Maria Angela Holguin.

WTF? Perfect example of religion being used to keep people down and repressed, and he CONFESSES to it right here! Wow. "If people stop believing in our version of the invisible sky god they might actually try to change being miserable under repression, hunger, injustice and violence. They might try to change the world into something free, peaceful, plentiful, just and safe. As a man of religion, I can't stand the thought of a world such as that full of happy people."

Yeah, really. What a strange status quo to endorse so explicitly (but in fairness, the parenthetical was not actually said, presumably). When I read that, I wondered if it was an onion article.

/Repression, hunger, injustice, and violence was good enough for my father, for my father's father, my father's father's father. And, by golly, it's good enough for me.

Religion threads belong on the Politics tab.

You know what's fun? Going through these comments to see who didn't read that oh-so-important last sentence of TFA.

ZoeNekros: When I read that, I wondered if it was an onion article.

Oh, I guess because it's also spoof. Strange, since only that one line really went over-the-top... lot's of people belief the other nonsense spouted, quite vocally.

And I thought this was going to be about Time Cube...

I respect his work as a scientician, but his flagrant disregard for the need to bring the Holy Spirit back into America is why he will never become president.

This thread is not near as interesting as the freeper thread.

What is it with the British and bad teeth?

19 Kilo: I respect his work as a scientician, but his flagrant disregard for the need to bring the Holy Spirit back into America is why he will never become president.

This

WorldCitizen: WTF? Perfect example of religion being used to keep people down and repressed, and he CONFESSES to it right here! Wow. "If people stop believing in our version of the invisible sky god they might actually try to change being miserable under repression, hunger, injustice and violence. They might try to change the world into something free, peaceful, plentiful, just and safe. As a man of religion, I can't stand the thought of a world such as that full of happy people."

There is no possible way to make the earth "free, peaceful, plentiful, just and safe". Whether or not the resources are present, greed will always keep that impossible.

"For 200 years the Colombian people have endured repression, hunger, injustice and violence, only because of their solid faith that once in heaven everything will be alright."

Exactly.

Thanks to the Onion, everybody now seems to believe they can just make shiat up and call it satire. Trouble is, to be satire it has to be a) implausible, and b) funny.

cyclebiff: Catholicism and many other forms of religion are inevitably dying due to political and social changes; they are losing control. They are scared. So don't be so hateful.

Religion will never die for the reason he stated. Poor (and thus typically uneducated) people yearn for a way to accept their bad lot in life. Belief in paradise after death is very comforting.

For 200 years the Colombian people have endured repression, hunger, injustice and violence

Isn't that a good indication that either God doesn't exist, or he does and really enjoys farking with you and watching you suffer an agonizing and miserable life?

Great... where's he supposed to get his coke to go with the hookers now?

ChrisSuperstar: I've already seen the Jesus freaks getting ready to declare war on Hawking; one said that his disability was caused by Jesus, who has a "sense of humor" and is getting "revenge" on Hawking for daring to believe in science and reason instead of magic and superstition.

Ray Comfort (mr banana) has already released a press release. Its pure comedy gold (new window).

It is embarrassingly unscientific to speak of anything creating itself from nothing. Common sense says that if something possessed the ability to create itself from nothing, then that something wasn't nothing, it was something -- a very intelligent creative power of some sort.

bravian: Ray Comfort (mr banana) has already released a press release. Its pure comedy gold (new window).

My favorite line was, "Hawking has violated the unspoken rules of atheism. He isn't supposed to use words like 'create' or even 'made.'". Take notes atheists, you can no longer use those words.

jingks: bravian: Ray Comfort (mr banana) has already released a press release. Its pure comedy gold (new window).

My favorite line was, "Hawking has violated the unspoken rules of atheism. He isn't supposed to use words like 'create' or even 'made.'". Take notes atheists, you can no longer use those words.

If the rules are unspoken, how does he know about them?

Don't fool yourselves, religion isn't losing ground because people are waking up, it's losing ground because it's no longer a necessity in the unification of nations. All that's happening is television and the sorts have supplanted religion as the primary means of unification of the masses.

That being said, religion will never go away because some people, like me, just love God.

And don't fool yourselves into thinking that religion is responsible for hardships placed on people by other people. People are responsible for hurting other people. If it wasn't religion it would be something else.

That's the ultimate hypocrisy in the militant atheist's anti- religion sentiments. They treat something they know isn't real as if it has power when in actuality it's the people abusing the belief system who are to blame.

And I would agree with that sentiment, religion is used by people to subjugate others and I don't like that.

Great... where's he supposed to get his coke to go with the hookers now?

The fact like things such as coke, mushrooms, pot, salvia & dmt exist point to a higher intelligence that permeates the Universe. Such things that expand or alter consciousness... Why would such things exist that enhance perception and / or intelligence? Ways to distort, or even, transcend this box temporarily... Hawking is indeed right though: it's certainly a multidimensional Universe.

bberg: That's ok. Hawking will be talking to God very soon, and He will cast him down saying "Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels."

God always gets the last word.

How admirable...an omnipotent being bullying a cripple. Hawking should challenge him to meet on equal terms and not be such a pussy.