I heard that David Foster Wallace was supposed to be on the show a few years ago, but that there were some scheduling hang-ups.

I'd love to see Neil Gaiman, personally. Although Amanda Palmer would probably get pissed he was in the spotlight and not her.

EW as a whole is losing touch with reality. They are trying too hard to be hipper than, say, SPIN and Esquire combined.

Did they expect, say, Christopher Hitchens to boogie on down with some hottie? Or T.C. Boyle to start a feud with some has-been douche? Even Danielle Steel would blow off the show's producers.

Having anyone who's an intellectual heavyweight participate is not the point of a comfort food show like DWTS. If EW thinks they're being funny/clever, it's a massive fail.

What about Ann Rice or Harlan Ellison. That would be priceless.

Bristol Palin? They couldn't get Kelly Osborne?

//Sorry Kelly, you come from far classier stock.

They've had 11 seasons. That seems wrong to me for some reason.

Harry_Seldon: Bristol Palin? They couldn't get Kelly Osborne?

//Sorry Kelly, you come from far classier stock.

She's already been on the show.

I read that as Stephen Hawking....

Because what the American public really wants to see is Sarah Palin's crotchfruit dancing on television.

Pastramification: I read that as Stephen Hawking....

If you can get Stephen Hawking to go up there and dance the Lambada, I promise that I will turn in.

/Second choice is Stephen Fry

Personally, I would like to see the resurrected cyborg corpse of Isaac Asimov do the robot.

Oh, come on. Who WOULDN'T want to see John Scalzi doing the Mashed Potato...

/in full Scalzorc costume, at that...

Well, compared to Bristol Palin and The Situation, authors aren't starry enough...

TemperedEdge: Oh, come on. Who WOULDN'T want to see John Scalzi doing the Mashed Potato...

/in full Scalzorc costume, at that...

My GOD that made me laugh! After watching that everyone's-gonna-cry-like-hell video from the main page, I needed that!

/My dad showed me the Mashed Potato when I was a youngun

I vote for Dan Brown. A: it is potentially humiliating. B: it might slow down his next 'book.'

I wouldnt mind seeing what kind of moves JK Rowling has.

DWTS viewers are not literate beyond a four-hour reading of Parade "magazine" every Sunday.

I hear Salman Rushdie cuts a mean carpet.

BizarreMan: What about Ann Rice or Harlan Ellison. That would be priceless.
Harlan would be great if to not wait for the inevitable meltdown with the producers. Last time I saw him he had hurt his back falling off a ladder so while still energetic he might not be up for it(that and the fact he had quadruple bypass surgery in the 90s).

I thought about Stephen King writing a novel about a writer from a small town in Maine who does suprisingly well in a TV dance competition... once the people voted out each week start dying. But I think it works better with Chuck Palahniuk:

Forbidden, the tale of a man who is invited to a strange dance competition, introduces an obscure technical term for one of the steps of the Lambada that somehow becomes the focus of the story, ends up trapped in a soundstage with a dozen other people who slowly turn on each other, and reveals, just before dying, that he organized the competition himself.

The English Major: Jclark666: But I think it works better with Chuck Palahniuk

Nothing works better with Chuck Palahniuk.

Sure it does, even Fark!

Threadjack, the tale of a man (let's call him Cletus) who joins a bizzare online community, introdcues an obscure technical term for online attention-seeking behavior that somehow becomes the focus of the story, ends up trapped in a thread with a dozen other people who slowly turn on each other, and reveals, just before dying, that he's actually the founder of the online community.

I mean, you try to go Stephen King with that set-up and you end up in M. Night Shayalaman "I see banned people" territory.

I would like to see George R.R. Martin dry hump Octavia Butler to a disco version of Ravel's Bolero. That would be a ratings grabber for the show.

radioman_: I would like to see George R.R. Martin dry hump Octavia Butler to a disco version of Ravel's Bolero. That would be a ratings grabber for the show.

Nah, he'd get two-thirds of the way in, disappear, then pop up every couple seasons promising to finish in a year or two, tops.

The last person to fark with Stephen King ended up DEAD.

Knob_Gobbler: DWTS viewers are not literate beyond a four-hour reading of Parade "magazine" every Sunday.

Nahh, that would tire 'em out. In Touch or US magazine would be more up their alley.