By the time he gets out, they'll either want to murder each other or be buddies.

My guess is if the wife was still interested in sex, she wouldn't look like that--she could at least have dignity. OTOH, for "dignity" she may wear a wig and just look like hell because she's, you know, at a vigil afraid for her mate.

The wife's best bet is to trade on her hubby loving the comforts of home and her cooking, and let him keep the mistress as a sexual pet.

The mistress's best bet is to quit being a naive douche and find a single guy--unless she and the wife can work out an arrangement. Once she thinks about it, the mistress may not want to spend her evenings trying to imitate his wife's and mama's cooking and her days picking up his socks and underwear and cleaning up two people's mess in her own home instead of one's.

You know, all the "benefits" the mistress gets if he leaves his wife for her.

If she wants to go work a day job of her own and have some independence and not have to argue over every dollar of personal spending, and get the sex and cuddles from a man without putting up with his shiat, she could do worse. So could the wife.

Salinas was stunned when she heard Susana shouting his name amid a crowd of miners' loved ones.

Salinas, 56, is said to be "horrified". However, she is determined not to give up her man to her love rival.

She told friends: "Barrios is my husband. He loves me and I am his devoted wife. This woman has no legitimacy."

But Valenzuela said the 50-year-old miner, who she met on a training course five years ago, was planning to leave his wife for her.

She said: "We are in love. I'll wait for him."


This sounds like an episode of Manana es para Siempre.

Since she looks past having kids, the mistress has the best deal of any of them--but it would be totally ruined if he left the wife, and she's too young and naive to see it.

His wallet? That's a trap. She'll have a fight over every dollar spent. Less work and stress to get the cheapest-ass job around for herself. If she doesn't marry him, she doesn't have to take his shiat for how she spends it.

For gods sake, woman, make peace with the wife and let her be cook, maid, and chief bottle-washer. You'll do less work, better work, and come out financially ahead no matter what job you find.

A man came home from work one evening to find his children and the neighbor children playing in the yard, smeared with food and dirt from head to toe. The front door was propped open banging in the wind, and the air conditioner was running full blast.

His seven year old daughter was dressed in her formerly best clothes, and his three year old son was stark naked.

He walked into his living room where, instead of its usual mess he found the cushions of every chair on the floor, the furniture turned over, the cat hiding on top corner of the bookshelves futilely trying to lick ketchup and mustard out of her fur.

In the kitchen, the chairs were overturned, every space was cluttered with food and all the groceries on hand dissipated as if fed to an entire army. He fell on his ass, hard, when he slipped where a full bottle of cooking oil appeared to have been painted across the floor. The dishes from last night were piled in the sink where he'd left them after clearing the table last night.

He picked his way up the stairs, after moving the mattress which had been dragged there as a slide, also coated with peanut butter and jelly.

In the master bedroom, he found his clothes strewn all over the floor, the bed unmade, and his wife lying in bed curled up with a romance novel and a glass of chardonnay.

"What the hell is going on here?" he demanded.

His wife gave him a peaceful smile and said, "You know how you're always asking me why the den is cluttered and the laundry not folded and the toilet and shower not scrubbed, and your dinner late to boot? You're always telling me you have no idea what I do with my time all day? Today I didn't do it."

Sorry, I thought the fark stereotypical bitterness could use a slight counterbalance from the stereotypical bitterness on the other side.

Yeah, I know, I know.

The vast majority of men don't fit the stereotype.

The vast majority of children do. Day care centers manage lots of children because the children are in spaces designed to keep them out of trouble. You can't do that to the same extent with a home.

That really is what it's like to care for kids at home. Kids in school are only marginally better, because the minute other parents and the school and church and anyone else find you are home, even if you have a full time job at home, they consider your time absolutely theirs, because women at home in traditional roles are "supposed to" do all these things and you aren't really doing anything that can't be put off, anyway.

It doesn't improve when the kids go to school. The people making demands before just make more of them--enough to compensate and more--including hubby (and kids themselves), because now you "have time to do" whatever. Unless you're a stone biatch at resisting social pressure and willing to have the community consider you a real biatch and neglectful parent (the school, if you don't jump every time they---frequently!--say frog)--and you're a stone biatch no matter how politely you say no, just for saying no--you have not one whit more time. If anything you have less.

House husbands don't experience this and talk about how much they get done and how much easier it is than women make it out to be, because other people genuinely do have lower expectations for and insistence upon their time. The house husband has enough demands to feel like he gets the same level, but he generally doesn't. Other people just react differently to Dad than Mom, and when he says no, he doesn't come in for the same social outrage.

Yeah, your house and kids turn out about the same if your wife has an outside job as they do if she stays in the home. But it's not because she isn't working (usually), it's because of all these invisible demands on her time that sound reasonable to you if you hear about one or two of them, and unreasonable of her to decline. In aggregate, the community around her sucks up all that time she's home and would otherwise be at a day job in her unpaid labor.

ExperianScaresCthulhu: LesserEvil:


Yeah, I think I'd go with the mistress, just on first glance. The wife isn't even trying, with the stupid butch cut hair... which doesn't help when she already looks about 20 years older than she actually is.

The wife has been being a wife. It's not fair to judge her. The mistress doesn't look all that hot, herself. Life is hard. Both of these women can do better than the miner.

It's not fair to judge the miner (who, by all accounts, has been a hero - helping his fellow miners). As for the wife, how do you know she's "been being a wife"? That sort of statement makes me think you are a Farkette with some emotional baggage (not trying to be hurtful here, just being realistic).

The guy made a choice to cheat with a much younger woman, with LONG HAIR. Why is that important? Because she represents his desires... meanwhile, the wife has her hair practically cut to her skull. That may not seem important to most women, but it's important to many men. The mistress is likely adhering to the miner's wishes whereas the wife did what she wanted.

I admit my comparison was mostly superficial, but many people (men and women) consider passion and love life as a big part of a relationship. At first glance, it's not unreasonable to assume the wife has abandoned that aspect, and that the mistress is providing it. I'd be dishonest in trying to build the case any other way, given the lack of any other evidence.

Well, like ExperianScaresCthulhu said, he probably has more women on the side, maybe not...

At least Tiger could afford 13+ of the white women...

All I could come up with...

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Julie Cochrane: ...

"What the hell is going on here?" he demanded.

His wife gave him a peaceful smile and said, "You know how you're always asking me why the den is cluttered and the laundry not folded and the toilet and shower not scrubbed, and your dinner late to boot? You're always telling me you have no idea what I do with my time all day? Today I didn't do it."

That was beautiful.

Actually, it's sad on many levels. I don't hassle my wife about chores - I help out around the house, and the outside of the house (and house maintenance) are pretty much all me. We share quite a bit of duties, particularly with the kids.

I married my wife for love, not for a maid.

I appreciate the things she does, and I let her know all the time, in many ways.

It's annoying that many women can't understand that many, many husbands are equal partners in marriage, due to their own less than satisfying experiences with men. It's sad when they trot out stories like this to validate their subconscious man-hating rationale.

I first thought "The mistress is sticking with her 'he said he's going to leave her to be with me forever' story" so that if he dies, she can get some of the lawsuit money until I read that the mining company isn't even paying any of the rescue funds for these poor bastards, so maybe there won't BE any lawsuit money.

Damn that wife of his is one ugly monster.

Can you imagine? Being stuck down there, told you may be there for 1/3 of a YEAR, then having to deal with that.

"Uh honey, can we talk about that after I get OUT of here, please?"

That's not my situation now, but to all the farkers whose wives stay home, the kids are in school, and they are quietly resenting what's not getting done?

The solution is to take your wife out to dinner without the kids and discuss the invisible demands on her time by people outside your family. Make a list. If it's hard to list, then ask her to make a list over time and you guys will meet back in a few weeks.

Then go down the list and decide which of those tasks you value as a family enough for her to continue, and where she and you and your kids are being taken advantage of. Let her know she has your support in saying no.

"Our family budgets my volunteer time just like we budget charitable contributions in money. My schedule is full, but it sounds like a good cause and I wish you luck in gathering volunteers."

It's generally not a problem with your wife, it's a mutual problem where you need to communicate and your family needs to stand its ground that you are not surrogates to take on the responsibilities of every two-earner family.

I made the mistake of not doing this, so I speak from experience.

Julie Cochrane: That's not my situation now, but to all the farkers whose wives stay home, the kids are in school, and they are quietly resenting what's not getting done?

The solution is to take your wife out to dinner without the kids and discuss the invisible demands on her time by people outside your family. Make a list. If it's hard to list, then ask her to make a list over time and you guys will meet back in a few weeks.

Then go down the list and decide which of those tasks you value as a family enough for her to continue, and where she and you and your kids are being taken advantage of. Let her know she has your support in saying no.

"Our family budgets my volunteer time just like we budget charitable contributions in money. My schedule is full, but it sounds like a good cause and I wish you luck in gathering volunteers."

It's generally not a problem with your wife, it's a mutual problem where you need to communicate and your family needs to stand its ground that you are not surrogates to take on the responsibilities of every two-earner family.

I made the mistake of not doing this, so I speak from experience.


Where does "don't cut your hair so it looks like you have a bad case of the mange and let yourself go so you look like Danny Trejo" fall on that list, because I think that's where this guy's wife screwed up.

palelizard: loonatic112358: Rubberband Girl: FTFA - Salinas, 56, is said to be "horrified". However, she is determined not to give up her man to her love rival.

She told friends: "Barrios is my husband. He loves me and I am his devoted wife. This woman has no legitimacy."

But Valenzuela said the 50-year-old miner, who she met on a training course five years ago, was planning to leave his wife for her.

She said: "We are in love. I'll wait for him."



"That okay guys," the miner was heard to say. "I'll hang back and, um, make sure the mine is sturdy. Or something."

Grande Juan doesn't have the same ring to it as Big John

Juan Grande. Adjective comes after the noun in Spanish. Not that it helps much.

I've seen 'grande' moved before a noun, where it becomes 'gran'. So in this case, it would be Gran Juan.

LesserEvil: .

Actually, it's sad on many levels. I don't hassle my wife about chores - I help out around the house, and the outside of the house (and house maintenance) are pretty much all me. We share quite a bit of duties, particularly with the kids.

I married my wife for love, not for a maid.

I appreciate the things she does, and I let her know all the time, in many ways.

It's annoying that many women can't understand that many, many husbands are equal partners in marriage, due to their own less than satisfying experiences with men. It's sad when they trot out stories like this to validate their subconscious man-hating rationale.

Did you notice I said it was a stereotype?

I agree with you that it's too easy for people to let their own bad experiences color their reactions to everyone around them.

Still, I've known a number of widows and divorcees who don't hate men. They just don't want to take on another one as a roommate and a financial partner.

It's okay for people to live without roomies. It's okay for people to operate the financial business of their life without a partner. Adding a new roomie or a financial partner always entails risk. Someone is not condemned to life and death isolated and alone if they decide not to add in one or the other.

The particular widow I'm thinking of had a network of close friends that she spent a lot of time with. She wasn't sad, alone, and pathetic. She was happy. She was social. She did date for company, she just didn't want to marry, and wasn't interested in sex. She was up front with her dates about this. The conversation I'm remembering was her discussion of why she would not marry the millionaire.

My interests and opinions--most of the people who share those are guys. So most of my friends are guys. My friends are great people. But right now I'm seriously considering that unrestricted financial partnership with anyone, and rooming to the point of sharing a bedroom, just may not work for me. I don't hate men. I don't hate marriage as a concept. I like sharing a bed. But I hate not having my finances separate, by myself, and not having my own bedroom just for the personal space and when the other person in the bed is, or I am, tossing and turning. Or, hell, just because I feel like sleeping in my own space for a few nights.

I have roomies now. A couple. We get along great--good friends. I have my own room, my finances are my own except for shared responsibilities, shared groceries, and the usual roomie stuff. But I have my own room, my own space, my own sanctum sanctorum.

I like guys. I'm hetero. I'm not a horndoggette (hornbiatch?).* Most of my guy friends go 20-25 years back, clear to college--my friendships aren't transitory. I don't think, "All the good ones are taken." There are just things that are de rigeur for marriage in our society that don't work for me.

/*Despite some things I sometimes say about sex. LOL.

And the sad fact is, marrying does entail the risk that your partner will meet the stereotype. This guy is cheating on his wife and probably lying to the mistress about intending to divorce. Good odds that he, specifically, does meet that stereotype.

People who meet the stereotype are very good at faking normal and faking nice. You marry for love, and it turns out the person you were in love with was a mask and mirage put up by the person you're now entangled with. And frequently they don't let the mask down fully until after there are kids and they feel like you're a captive audience.

Everyone who gets married to someone who wasn't wearing that mask thinks that someone who's paying attention should be able to tell the difference. It's just not true. These folks' masks (males and females both) are very good. Unfortunately, it does tend to be the same people who fall for the mask, over and over. Once you realize that's what you do, it takes a long time and a lot of work to fix your own problems that keep the pattern going.

But frequently the person who falls for the mask doesn't have anything wrong with them, it was just a really good mask.

I am glad that your wife's real, underlying personality is fundamentally the same as the one she presented when you were dating her and married her.

Great Headline Subster!! +1

Rubberband Girl:
"That okay guys," the miner was heard to say. "I'll hang back and, um, make sure the mine is sturdy. Or something."

Came here to say this. Nice work.