You only said rape once... you must not like rape. Rape.

Well, obviously we have a rapist in Daytona Beach. He's climbin' in your windows, he's snatchin' your people up, tryin' to rape 'em. So y'all need to hide your kids, hide your wife and hide your husband 'cause they're rapin' everybody out here.

Much ado about rape.

Was it rape or rape rape? Somebody call Whoopi.

At least she beat him off.

Heh. Butt soft. Heh.

/Rape
//Murder
///It's just a shot away
////It's just a shot away

Tittius Andronicus?

For never was a story of more woe,
Than the un-naméd victim
And Garcia, John Jairo.

Because they rapin everybody out here

drjekel_mrhyde: Because they rapin everybody out here

You can run and tell DAT. Homeboy!

Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile,
Hath not old custom made this life more sweet
Than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods
More free from peril than the envious court?
Here feel we but the penalty of Adam,
The seasons' difference, as the icy fang
And churlish chiding of the winter's wind,
Which, when it bites and blows upon my body,
Even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say
'This is no flattery: these are counsellors
That feelingly persuade me what I am.'
Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
And this our life exempt from public haunt
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones and rape in every thing.
I would not change it.

/subby

...in other news, "checking into the Conch House Motel" is my new favourite euphemism...

Motel manager Tom Stockman said he has met with pizza shop owners to tell them to keep flier deliverymen off the property, but none have complied. Chitwood said the practice is a huge problem because many deliverymen are criminals who push motel doors while posting the fliers to see if they're unlocked.

Oh sure, Mr. Manager, everybody is a criminal. Just go on with your paranoid self, seeing criminals everywhere, hanging around your motel to lie in wait for some unsuspecting--oh wait.

Day man! OH OH OHHHHHHHHH Fighter of the NIGHT MAN OH OH OHHHHHHHHH Champion of the sun!

Hide your kids hide your wife

to rape or not to rape, that is the question. whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous rape...

/the correct answer to the rape question is, of course, rape.

Rape is never funny.

"Police said they quickly tracked down John Jairo Garcia quickly and arrested him."

But how fast did they do it?

Daytona Beach Police Chief Mike Chitwood said a woman checking into the Conch House Motel on A1A struck up a conversation with a man delivering pizza fliers to the motel. Chitwood said the man returned around 3 a.m. and attacked her, but she fought him off.

So the lesson is never talk to people delivering fliers unless you want to be raped or attempted raped or rape raped.

rockrobster: to rape or not to rape, that is the question. whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous rape...

/the correct answer to the rape question is, of course, rape.

How long a man lie in the Earth, 'ere he rape?

Full fathom five, thy father rapes.

Shakespeare/Rape thread!

/The rape's the thing.

Good night, good night! raping is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.

We that are true rapists run into strange capers; but as all is mortal in nature, so is all nature in rape mortal
in folly.

Thou hast created a sublime headline Subby

Garcia was charged with sexual battery with home invasion robbery and attempted sexual battery

So if you batter someone sexually, you can be charged with both attempting it and being successful at it?

Shatner's Bassoon: Garcia was charged with sexual battery with home invasion robbery and attempted sexual battery

So if you batter someone sexually, you can be charged with both attempting it and being successful at it?

I got this awesome award for attempted chemistry

Uhhhh... Day man?

Shatner's Bassoon: Garcia was charged with sexual battery with home invasion robbery and attempted sexual battery

So if you batter someone sexually, you can be charged with both attempting it and being successful at it?

I think you misunderstand. One refers to actually sexual battering, the other refers to electric rape.

A rape.. a rape! My Kingdom for a rape..!

My mouth is left agape from the sublime awesomeness of that headline.

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

I bite my thumb at thee!

From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of rapists;
For he to-day that sheds vaginal blood with me
Shall be my rapist; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Rapist's day.

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is rape, and I am the sun!
Arise, fair sun, and kill the enviable boyfriend,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
From the GHB mix'd in his nightly nectar.
Be not afraid, since she is enviable.
Her taco of love is but sick and green,
And none but fools enter with consent. Cast it off!
She is my lady; O, victim of love!
O that she knew she were!

That is a funny freakin' headline.

Am I the first to ask, "Why not the Florida tag?"

Maybe I don't get the charges, but it always pisses me off when someone is charge with x crime and attempted x crime.

What is this, a charge I see before me?
Waffling ADA toward my hand?
Come let me plead thee.
I committed thee not, but you jayle me still.

Coconice: Maybe I don't get the charges, but it always pisses me off when someone is charge with x crime and attempted x crime.

I seem to recall a Fark story from a few months ago that involved someone arrested and charged with attempting to resist arrest. Just try to wrap your head around the recursive nature of that one.

Dammit, I was hoping the perpetrator resembled the "I am the sun" bearded fellow.

FTFA:

Chitwood said the man returned around 3 a.m. and attacked her, but she fought him off.

The victim described the man to police, including distinct white sunglasses, and an officer said he recognized the description, Chitwood said.

Wearing sunglasses at 3:00 in the morning. How cool is that.

I cant beleive this aint posted yet!!

Link (new window)

HIDE YA KIDS....HIDE YA WIFE!!!!

THX 1138: Wearing sunglasses at 3:00 in the morning. How cool is that.

Don't switch the blade on a guy in shades

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Coconice: Maybe I don't get the charges, but it always pisses me off when someone is charge with x crime and attempted x crime.

I seem to recall a Fark story from a few months ago that involved someone arrested and charged with attempting to resist arrest. Just try to wrap your head around the recursive nature of that one.

Thank you for dovetailing my Thursday.

Rape isn't a laughing matter... unless you are being raped by a clown