I found hair in my food once.

For me, I decided never to go there again.

Had I been one of the fine servicemen of our beloved law enforcement, here to protect and serve all the fine citizens of my jurisdiction, I'd have of course decided to go on a crusade to fry his ass.

As a man with a substantial amount of body hair, a small percentage of which is shed and regrown constantly, I sympathize with the defendant.

Does that look like spit to you? Ah, fark it!

I don't understand how cops in uniform ever eat anywhere, don't they know the people who work at these places often drive the cars that the police ticket for what amounts to being poor?

"This is simply an argument between two people who happen to not get along and one of them is a police officer," said Burke's attorney, T. Alex Kushner.

Well I could have sworn that I have had arguments with people before. I guess not. Because none of them involved body hair. I've got to change my definition of argument.

"One egg and sausage bagel...it's for a cop."

Sybarite: I notice they say "body hair" but not what part of the body they came from.

But we know where it came from. Is there any other hair fit for official consumption?

When in uniform, I usually brown-bag it or go home for lunch. Sometimes I go to Subway, where I can watch them prepare my sammich.

Anywhere else, ya take yer chances.

/aware of cop hate

If I was a cop, I'd never eat out while in uniform. To many cop haters out there.

5 years?!?!? OH FFS.

His attorney said the guy's defense will be "He wouldn't do something like this!"

Good luck with that.

Lt. Walt Miller declined to comment as to whether physical evidence from the incident was saved.

I hope he did or I'd think that any lawyer worth his salt would cite a lack of discovery. Oh! And we'd like a DNA analysis to prove whose hair it is. Personally, while I think Most cops are scumbags and deserve it, i still don't think it should be done to them. They'll need to be well fed to continue to harass blacks and obfuscate justice.

Aggravated assault? Really? Can one of you e-lawyers tell me how some pubes are going to cause serious bodily harm?

Diogenes: I find that statement slightly unsettling.

Wrongdoing is wrongdoing, regardless of who is being wronged.

The difference is that when wrongdoing is done against a regular person, the punishment tends to be moderate.

When it's done against a cop you'll be lucky to ever see outside of a jailcell again.


While part of me has to laugh and enjoy what this guy did, most of me realizes it was still wrong to do. Especially if my guess as to which hairs he used is right. But the charges they got against him are over the top.

has been indicted on charges of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer and drug or food tampering.

So did the cop order the drugs or the food with hair?

Thenixon: Aggravated assault? Really? Can one of you e-lawyers tell me how some pubes are going to cause serious bodily harm?

Crabs.

Mudflap: When in uniform, I usually brown-bag it or go home for lunch. Sometimes I go to Subway, where I can watch them prepare my sammich.

Probably the luncheon meat was prepped in someone's ass crack for just such an occasion.

Mykeru: Mudflap: When in uniform, I usually brown-bag it or go home for lunch. Sometimes I go to Subway, where I can watch them prepare my sammich.

Probably the luncheon meat was prepped in someone's ass crack for just such an occasion.

LOL. Damn you.

Is the tuna safe?

Mudflap: When in uniform, I usually brown-bag it or go home for lunch. Sometimes I go to Subway, where I can watch them prepare my sammich.

Pay with a credit card, or else they might be giving you ass pennies for change.

Mudflap: Sometimes I go to Subway, where I can watch them prepare my sammich.

they have the special "cop gloves" they use there.

CaptainWes: I wish more dining establishments did this. Send a message to the pigs.

"It's German for 'The Pigs The'..."

doredor: has been indicted on charges of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer and drug or food tampering.

So did the cop order the drugs or the food with hair?

When some idiot puts something in my food, I am not worried about the degree of the offense. Pube or poison it should be treated the same.

Stanfan114: His attorney said the guy's defense will be "He wouldn't do something like this!"

Good luck with that.

Well it sounds like the prosecution's case is "Yes he did". They won't even say if they have evidence.

What is the average there would have been hair in his food regardless if he was a cop or not?

Accidents happen. Generally only pigs consider it direct assult on them personally. Gez pigs, why do you feel that everything is an assult on police officer? Do you really feel that much discontent to the society in which you are forced to protect?

CaptainWes:

1. That is awesome.
2. I'm not on patrol. No cop car. No taser. No ticket writing.
3. I also shun the cop mustache.

I should really get around to watching that movie sometime.

The chef was just protecting the bagel! (new window)

Marlton, New Jersey? Hair products involved?

Mudflap: When in uniform, I usually brown-bag it or go home for lunch. Sometimes I go to Subway, where I can watch them prepare my sammich.

Very smart.

What confuses me is how the cop decided it was this dude's hair. Did he order the sandwich and then get back to his car and chow down, only to find some hairs, and then he raced back to the restaurant only to realize the guy making the sandwiches was a guy that he had ticketed for a traffic offense a year before? How did the cook know that the bagel was for a cop, and not only that but this specific cop?

I mean, wtf? If I was the defense lawyer I'd be yelling about how much it costs to DNA test things, because they're going to have to DNA test that hair to make sure that it's his.

"Uh, well, to be honest, there did seem to be a lot of strange clumps of hair flying around in the kitchen that day, it was pretty farking weird."

The cop should have let it go and then followed the dude around and ticketed him for something BS. Now the legal system gets to deal with it, and the winners are the lawyers.

Ashame it wasn't arsenic or something more deserving for that jackbooted fat thug.

That's right. Bling raging cop hatred. Don't care about any of them. So call "good ones?" Meh. Collateral damage

wha, didn't like the fresh garden herbs?

/GIS with safe search on moderate gave some NSFW images when searching "waiting"

Reality Dichotomist: Ashame it wasn't arsenic or something more deserving for that jackbooted fat thug.

That's right. Bling raging cop hatred. Don't care about any of them. So call "good ones?" Meh. Collateral damage

Apparently your folks didn't feed you enough of it in your baby food and got the half-ass result that you are as a consequence.

Lampmonster: Stanfan114: His attorney said the guy's defense will be "He wouldn't do something like this!"

Good luck with that.

Well it sounds like the prosecution's case is "Yes he did". They won't even say if they have evidence.

He has motive, and they MIGHT have the pube in question (hereafter prosecution Exhibit A), along with photographs of the kitchen and the perp's nether regions with circles and arrows pointing to the scene of the crime, not to mention the aerial photographs.

wyrlss: As a man with a substantial amount of body hair, a small percentage of which is shed and regrown constantly, I sympathize with the defendant.

Then it doesn't bother you when there is hair in your food?

I prefer to go to Q'Doba where not only do they make my fajita in front of me, they cook the meat in front of me and cut it up in front of me and it is about 100% more delish than Subway.

Diogenes: "This is simply an argument between two people who happen to not get along and one of them is a police officer," said Burke's attorney, T. Alex Kushner.

I find that statement slightly unsettling.

Wrongdoing is wrongdoing, regardless of who is being wronged.

The lawyer was not talking "He did it, sure, but it's just an argument".

He's saying "This is an argument, and it just happens one of the people involved is a cop, who is abusing his power."

The guy is being charged with ASSAULT and trying to get revenge for an officer's prior actions. These are serious convictions, and both are based on assumptions- from the officer, who thinks "I'm a police officer, so clearly whatever happened was done on purpose, to purposely terrorize me"

The lawyer responds "They're arguing and one just happens to be a self-entitled farkwit"

CaptainWes: You work dispatch?

Nah. I'm a sheriff's deputy working as a bailiff in one of the county courts. I'm like a bouncer. I enforce dress codes and smack down the unruly. And if I take you to jail, it was the judge's call, not mine.

I readily confess to my desire to taser some elderly people. It's probably for the best I don't have one.

Stay Classy NJ.

Stanfan114: Lampmonster: Stanfan114: His attorney said the guy's defense will be "He wouldn't do something like this!"

Good luck with that.

Well it sounds like the prosecution's case is "Yes he did". They won't even say if they have evidence.

He has motive, and they MIGHT have the pube in question (hereafter prosecution Exhibit A), along with photographs of the kitchen and the perp's nether regions with circles and arrows pointing to the scene of the crime, not to mention the aerial photographs.

Which is great until the judge walks in with a seeing eye dog.

Cervidanti: Diogenes: "This is simply an argument between two people who happen to not get along and one of them is a police officer," said Burke's attorney, T. Alex Kushner.

I find that statement slightly unsettling.

Wrongdoing is wrongdoing, regardless of who is being wronged.

The lawyer was not talking "He did it, sure, but it's just an argument".

He's saying "This is an argument, and it just happens one of the people involved is a cop, who is abusing his power."

The guy is being charged with ASSAULT and trying to get revenge for an officer's prior actions. These are serious convictions, and both are based on assumptions- from the officer, who thinks "I'm a police officer, so clearly whatever happened was done on purpose, to purposely terrorize me"

The lawyer responds "They're arguing and one just happens to be a self-entitled farkwit"

When the guy put a hair in the food it went from "argument" to "fourth-degree charge of retaliation for past official action" and "aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer" and "drug or food tampering" all of which /= a simple argument.