I once knew a kid who was mentally challenged. He had a stuttering problem and was very quiet. He also had a heart of gold and could run like the wind. He was 'slow', sure, but the whole community loved him. There are real Forrest Gumps out there and they are not retards.

Then one day I watched some real retarded looking and acting people enter the store I worked at. Two of them to got married and had a baby. At first I was inspired by their success in life... untill I watched Daddy Retard drop Retard Junior head first from his shoulder. Both Mommy and Daddy Retard laughed it off while picking a crying Junior off the store floor in front of horrified onlookers. 'Don't worry.' He said. 'Happens all the time at home.' He said.

There are slow people and then there are retards. Let the slow people live their lives in peace. Don't let the retards get a hold of anything important. Things like kids.

Reading this thread, I'm reminded it's not Fark, it's 4chan.

Fireproof: R-word coun

I did some F5'ing and the counter actually went back. That's kinda retarded.

Retard, Midget, retard, midget.

chicken, arise! ........................

Still fair game on calling the stupids stupid though, right?

Retarded tends to be used as a synonym for stupid
Gay tends to be used as a synonym for lame
Crazy/Insane tends to be used to describe those of poor judgment or impulse control

/not articulate and not very kind

you're all retards...check out my profile picture. soup is good food

DiamondDave: No! No! No!

I am a musician and when I want to slow a piece of music down, I designate that the performer is to ritard those notes.

That's OUR word - you can't use it! Like when black people call each other nubian. You may hear it as something negative, but to my fellow musicians, it means love.

Damn straight:

sp86: Am I terrible person for wishing there was a bowling event at the special olympics? Because that shiat would be hilarious.

I went to a bowling alley in rural Wales with a girl some years ago. the local home for the mentally disabled were having their day out. and occupied all 15 or so of the other lanes.

They were running halfway down the lanes, forgetting to let go of the ball as they threw it, falling over everywhere in the slippery bowling shoes...

They seemed to be having a great time. I was trying so ard not to laugh that I nearly pissed myself.

Also y'all need to go read tardblog. I can't believe nobody mentioned it yet!

The original site is gone but there are arhives available if you google it. It's the funniest thing you'll read all year. And you'll feel like an evil, evil bastarrd for laughing at it.

Last July 4th I watched a "special" kid do a rendition of "You're a Grand Old Flag" while dressed in a red, white, and blue Uncle Sam costume with dance routine and everything.

I would have KILLED for a camcorder.

/felt bad that I found it so funny...which is an odd emotion.

I was closing out one of my service calls & I entered a part number incorrectly. My dispatcher emails me about it & I give them the correct part number. I get another email about 5 min later asking "Is this a straitjacket"? The description comes up *holder, retard*. I LOL'd.

Gothnet: Also y'all need to go read tardblog. I can't believe nobody mentioned it yet!

The original site is gone but there are arhives available if you google it. It's the funniest thing you'll read all year. And you'll feel like an evil, evil bastarrd for laughing at it.

I didn't feel evil for laughing at it. Funny is funny. The day someone feels guilty for laughing is the day the world ceases to exist. Augusta is the most gangsta 'tard ever. Who hasn't wanted to cut off a rat tail on a kid? Shii looks trashy.

Gothnet: The original site is gone but there are arhives available if you google it. It's the funniest thing you'll read all year. And you'll feel like an evil, evil bastarrd for laughing at it.

****Ignore this post - it's a long wandering story with very little payoff.****

Long before Tardblog there was a listserv for elderly care people in my home state (I'm sure there were many) and I managed to get added to one because my grandmother was staying with my parents after and during a few strokes before she died. I figured the list would give me a good idea of what to look for in competent home-care givers.

I realized pretty quickly it was just a "stress-relief" place for home caregivers to dump on when they went home at night. It took all of three days before I started pegging stories about my grandmother, primarily because I was in the house when she would make some of the quotes that would show up in the mail threads. To keep things clean, they nicknamed patients. My grandmother's nickname was "Granny Irish" because she hated Catholics even though my father is one.

My grandmother would occasionally choke because strokes make it hard to swallow, and that would usually end up in pooping, so you'd see quotes like "She said 'Don't worry, it felt solid this time'". My grandmother was horrendously racist, but she would try to compliment and it was always, always backhanded. If a care worker read her prescription to her, she say "I guess that's why you people can live so well with lions - you can see them coming". Or "I appreciate you don't steal from me."

All of that would show up in the list, along with other families with other elderly family members to care for. But for all the vitriol they wrote, whenever the patient died, they'd have a thread about it, and they would be kind. The worst people they ever helped would usually garner the most responses, but even my grandmother got a response for the 11 or 12 care workers in the area who had to take care of her at one point. Why? Because even if most workers never met the "worst person in the world" they enjoyed reading about them in the context of their job.

It was an amazing thing to read at the time. While people who deal with you every day can look on you with contempt - you're still a good story for someone else. That is the concept behind Tardblog, I think.

I thought about deleting all this, but instead I added a warning at the beginning. If you've made it this far, don't blame me.

Thorak: doublespeak I spoke of.

"Retard" just means someone who's retarded. One's an adjective, the other's a noun. That's the only godsdamned difference there is.

Pejoratives describe a negative condition. They're used because implying someone else has that negative condition is an insult if they don't. You're saying they're performing as poorly as someone who's held back by that, when they don't have that same excuse. That's the entire point of using it.

Making up a euphemism just means you use the euphemism as a pejorative, for the exact same reason. It doesn't change anything, and if anything, it shows disrespect to those who suffer the condition by making light of it.

Frankly, I'm more offended by people who call retarded people "special" than someone who calls them "retarded". The second guy isn't being a condescending arse to every retarded person there is.

Basically came here to say this. Every few years they change the terms used for referring to someone with a mental condition (retarded, special, mentally handicapped, mentally challenged, etc) because they feel the terms are negative, and don't seem to grasp that the terms are neutral, but become perceived as negative because of the association.

You can create whatever amazingly unoffensive term you want for referring to someone with a mental handicap and in a few years you're going to be doing it again because people will be using it as an insult.

HellRaisingHoosier: Does anyone else feel that Ben Roethlisberger has a little down in him?

Downs people still understand the word "no".

I was looking at the special olympics web page for the spread the word to end the word campaign, and noticed that it said "As of september 1, 2010, people on the world wide web have used the r-word 030302 times", and I instantly thought: unless that's per second, I'm gonna have to call that wildly optimistic.

A: That's retarded.
B: Hey, my sister is retarded. That's uncalled for.
A: Fine, he's stupid.
C: Hey, my cousin is stupid. That's insulting.
A: Whatever, he's got no brains.
D: What!? My uncle was attacked by a zombie. It's really not cool to talk about people without brains.
A: Wtf, fine, he's not bright.
E: My nephew is a collapsed star. You shouldn't call people 'not bright.'
A: Fark all of you.
Drew: Hey...

this thread is gay

dan78: we have become a nation of finger pointing children... "ohhh teacher ,teacher do you know what they said ? a bad word!!!"

*ding ding ding*

So can I call a retard 'retard'? I mean, if I consistently say 'intellectually underprivileged' to the mentally challenged, couldn't I use 'retard' for common stupid people? Or is that retarded?

/I iz confuusd

I'm only going to say this once, so pay attention if you're offended easily by words.

Words are made by moving air across the vocal cords in certain ways, varying in speed, and duration. These sounds, when made in a certain combination, paired along with the movement of the mouth and tongue, create words. The same sequence to create the word foot is only differed from the word retard by the combination and sequence of those actions that formed the word. The idea that when one certain combination is uttered is deemed offensive is absolute rubbish. The thought that one word can be deemed offensive over another is horseshiat and you know it. It also seems that the people who are offended by the words are unaware of the fluidity of the English language, and are unaware of its tendency to change its own meanings over time.

I mean, the whole creation of the phrases white meat and dark meat when referring to chicken dates back to the early 1900s I believe when it was deemed offensive to use the words breast or thigh because of the relation of those words to the female anatomy.

Hell, the word retard used to be the official designation for those with mental handicaps. It wasn't until kids started using it in a derogatory manner. You watch, in ten years this won't be an issue because kids will have come up with another word for it. I've already started replacing phrases like, "You're/That's so retarded" with phrases like, "You're/That's so mentally challenged" just to piss in the PC Police's Cheerios.

To further my point even more, I must retell a story from when I dealt with a cursing-sensitive superior in the Army. She was very quick to reprimand someone for the use of language she deemed inappropriate or foul. One day I had a conversation with her that I predicated with by informing her that for the purpose of the conversation, I was offended by the word "like". to me that word was no different from anyone using the word fark or shiat to her. The problem for her was that she was one of those persons that used it in every other word, sounding like a Valley girl minus the accent. This became a big challenge for her when I would accost her every time she said it. By the end of it she had a better understanding that a word is just a word and that it's only offensive you allow yourself to be.

That all being said, fark shiat ass biatch retard. Get over it, retards

Lord Farkwad

Super-obscure Law & Order reference?

I stopped reading after the first sentence. Dr. Laura's wildly racist rant? I guess this is just another example of the downside of the internet, because it opens up opportunities for everyone, including the extremely dumb who don't comprehend context.

I think that Vicki Santillano is a retarded retard and that his article made me more dumber...

Maul555: I think that Vicki Santillano is a retarded retard and that his article made me more dumber...

Agreed, I read her bio, can this really be a full time job that could sustain you, especially in an expensive city like SF? She's so retarded she probably gets disability money from the state though.

Re-tard.

Ret-ard.

Ruh-tahd.

We-todd.

Retard retard retard retard retard retard retard...........

............wwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

/curmudgeonly stoicism.

TheUltimateLink: I must retell a story from when I dealt with a cursing-sensitive superior in the Army

Offended by "foul langauge"? In the Army?

You shoulda introduced to to Gunney Ermy:



Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy farking walrus-looking piece of shiat! Get the fark off of my obstacle! Get the fark down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!



(Yeah, I know, He's a Marine.)

glassbottomboatcaptain: Lord Farkwad

Super-obscure Law & Order reference?

Yes it is. They stuck a soda bottle in her hoohah afterwords.

"Law & Order" Damaged (1998) (new window)

Humpty Dumpty was a retard.

Gothnet: Also y'all need to go read tardblog. I can't believe nobody mentioned it yet!

The original site is gone but there are arhives available if you google it. It's the funniest thing you'll read all year. And you'll feel like an evil, evil bastarrd for laughing at it.

first off that blog is the best... second off, let's add a link: tardblog mirror site (new window)

For those wondering about the dimwitted fellow I did a TINYEYE search of the image and found this.

Title: 10 on the retard scale video clip
Desc: Real earthquake warning!
http://www.hahaclips.net/videos.aspx/video~10_on_the_retard_scale/10_on_the_re ta rd_scale/Stupid_videos/ (new window)

Category: Stupid videos
Added: 06/13/2010
Viewed: 1063

Billy Ligue: TheUltimateLink: I must retell a story from when I dealt with a cursing-sensitive superior in the Army

Offended by "foul langauge"? In the Army?

You shoulda introduced to to Gunney Ermy:



Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy farking walrus-looking piece of shiat! Get the fark off of my obstacle! Get the fark down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!



(Yeah, I know, He's a Marine.)


I agree, she's a bit on the retarded side herself. But Gunney is actually a really cool guy in person. He came to Afghanistan shooting some scenes for Mail Call and visited a bunch of sites around the base. Me and a few guys ran into him near the Egyptian Hospital. One of the PFCs was named Pyle. He had a field day. Did the whole Gunnery Sergeant Hartman schtick. Awesome guy.

TheRaven7: Humpty Dumpty was a retard.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
all the king's horses and all the king's men
said "fark him, he's only an egg"

TheUltimateLink: Billy Ligue: TheUltimateLink: I must retell a story from when I dealt with a cursing-sensitive superior in the Army

Offended by "foul langauge"? In the Army?

You shoulda introduced to to Gunney Ermy:



Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy farking walrus-looking piece of shiat! Get the fark off of my obstacle! Get the fark down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!



(Yeah, I know, He's a Marine.)


I agree, she's a bit on the retarded side herself. But Gunney is actually a really cool guy in person. He came to Afghanistan shooting some scenes for Mail Call and visited a bunch of sites around the base. Me and a few guys ran into him near the Egyptian Hospital. One of the PFCs was named Pyle. He had a field day. Did the whole Gunnery Sergeant Hartman schtick. Awesome guy.

Cool Story .. seriously.

/thanks Vet
//Bro-in-law was in Kabul for a year, now is back as a "contractor"

Billy Ligue: TheUltimateLink: I must retell a story from when I dealt with a cursing-sensitive superior in the Army

Offended by "foul langauge"? In the Army?

You shoulda introduced to to Gunney Ermy:



Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy farking walrus-looking piece of shiat! Get the fark off of my obstacle! Get the fark down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!



(Yeah, I know, He's a Marine.)

Thanks to the video the other day, I forced myself into reading that with the Donald Duck voice.

Billy Ligue:

Cool Story .. seriously.

/thanks Vet
//Bro-in-law was in Kabul for a year, now is back as a "contractor"

Thanks. I tried to go back over again, but every body and their mama is fighting for them because of the big bucks you make in overtime.

sephjnr: Thanks to the video the other day, I forced myself into reading that with the Donald Duck voice.

You and me both.