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(Some Guy)   Nike files patent for self-lacing "Back to the Future II"-style shoes. Only five more years till we get our hoverboards   (joblo.com) divider line 95
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13386 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Aug 2010 at 10:23 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-08-28 05:46:09 AM
Radical!
 
2010-08-28 09:10:16 AM
Holy crap, somebody must have already gone back to the past and submitted this for a greenlight!
 
2010-08-28 09:15:15 AM
The hell of it?

We'll probably get that Jaws 19 movie within those five years.
 
2010-08-28 09:31:06 AM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: The hell of it?

We'll probably get that Jaws 19 movie within those five years.


Getting there (new window)
 
2010-08-28 09:33:43 AM
Remember, bojo, those boards don't work on water...unless you got POWER!
 
2010-08-28 09:51:08 AM
I want one of those self drying jackets too. And the double tie.
 
2010-08-28 10:15:05 AM
Great. The flying car, the hoverboard, the self drying jacket, the food hydrator, the Pit Bull, blood replacement, holographic sharks and which technology did we actually achieve? The self lacing shoes.

Although we do have nostalgic 1980's bars and we have the technology and number of channels to have a dozen on tv at once if we wanted to. Fax machines are almost obsolete so we're ahead of them in that respect. Pepsi Perfect probably tastes just as shiatty as every other Pepsi product so we're not missing out there.

/doesn't really want a flying car
//people can't drive in 2 dimensions, they don't need a 3rd
 
2010-08-28 10:28:07 AM
More importantly, only ten years until the Cubbies sweep the World Series!
 
2010-08-28 10:29:47 AM
Figures, the one time I post without previewing, I screw up. FIVE years until the Cubbies sweep the World Series.

/FTFM
//and we've already got a team in Miami
///Bartman's revenge!
 
2010-08-28 10:31:01 AM
This would have come very in handy for the people at the Glenn Beck teabagging festival. LAUGHTER OL. I say this as the political joke to say that they probably are not smart enough to do the tying of their own shoes. I do not mean to offend others with this comment because this is a very neat story about the shoestringings and it shows laziness on the part of the people who play the basketball.
 
2010-08-28 10:31:03 AM
I've always said that if no one invents these things I'm going to do it myself.

Of course, it's Nike so expect them to cost $400 and fall apart after 6 months so you need a new pair. Probably won't survive the first time you walk through a puddle, either.
 
2010-08-28 10:31:40 AM
So I was gonna make a comment about adding the cinematic masterpiece that is Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus to the Jaws series, just so we can get to Jaws 19...and then I found THIS.
 
2010-08-28 10:33:04 AM
Patentable? Talk about prior art!
 
2010-08-28 10:34:00 AM
Will they be full of eels?
 
2010-08-28 10:36:11 AM
I want a flying DeLorean and a sports almanac good for 2000-2050.
 
2010-08-28 10:36:55 AM
Martin The Mess: More importantly, only ten years until the Cubbies sweep the World Series!

Against Miami no less...
 
2010-08-28 10:37:03 AM
Meh...i sub'd this yesterday with an equally crappy BttF headline.
 
2010-08-28 10:40:38 AM
Hey Marty, let's get back to 1955 so I can do your mom.
img833.imageshack.us
I'm on my way Doc!
img412.imageshack.us
 
2010-08-28 10:41:07 AM
Mugato: Great. The flying car, the hoverboard, the self drying jacket, the food hydrator, the Pit Bull, blood replacement, holographic sharks and which technology did we actually achieve? The self lacing shoes.

I'll just leave this here...
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15646766

/copypasta, biatchezzzzz
 
2010-08-28 10:42:06 AM
meow said the dog: This would have come very in handy for the people at the Glenn Beck teabagging festival. LAUGHTER OL. I say this as the political joke to say that they probably are not smart enough to do the tying of their own shoes. I do not mean to offend others with this comment because this is a very neat story about the shoestringings and it shows laziness on the part of the people who play the basketball.


To be fair, basketball players wouldn't mind not having shoelaces to get in the way of playing basketball. I don't mean that they are stupid, but that the strings on the shoes may get loose or undone and could cause someone to trip, but is something you don't want to happen while playing sports.
 
2010-08-28 10:42:14 AM
Heavy!
 
2010-08-28 10:43:34 AM
meow said the dog: This would have come very in handy for the people at the Glenn Beck teabagging festival. LAUGHTER OL. I say this as the political joke to say that they probably are not smart enough to do the tying of their own shoes. I do not mean to offend others with this comment because this is a very neat story about the shoestringings and it shows laziness on the part of the people who play the basketball.

I'm afraid to admit I missed the whole "LAUGHTER OL" thing. I wonder if someone will explain it to me or go all Fark on me.
 
2010-08-28 10:45:03 AM
daveb0rg: meow said the dog: This would have come very in handy for the people at the Glenn Beck teabagging festival. LAUGHTER OL. I say this as the political joke to say that they probably are not smart enough to do the tying of their own shoes. I do not mean to offend others with this comment because this is a very neat story about the shoestringings and it shows laziness on the part of the people who play the basketball.

I'm afraid to admit I missed the whole "LAUGHTER OL" thing. I wonder if someone will explain it to me or go all Fark on me.



Don't worry. Is is not a farkism. There is no joke, which may or may not be the joke.
 
2010-08-28 10:47:12 AM
daveb0rg: meow said the dog: This would have come very in handy for the people at the Glenn Beck teabagging festival. LAUGHTER OL. I say this as the political joke to say that they probably are not smart enough to do the tying of their own shoes. I do not mean to offend others with this comment because this is a very neat story about the shoestringings and it shows laziness on the part of the people who play the basketball.

I'm afraid to admit I missed the whole "LAUGHTER OL" thing. I wonder if someone will explain it to me or go all Fark on me.


Someone is trying to be overly elaborate in setting up an alt, which includes months of pidgin english posts.
 
2010-08-28 10:53:16 AM
Martin The Mess: Figures, the one time I post without previewing, I screw up. FIVE years until the Cubbies sweep the World Series.

/FTFM
//and we've already got a team in Miami
///Bartman's revenge!


Yeah screw the Hoverboards. What about the Cubbies?
 
2010-08-28 10:54:07 AM
bwakie: Hey Marty, let's get back to 1955 so I can do your mom.

Hey, I would've been tempted too. Look at her!

www.gunaxin.com

www.exposay.com

youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com

And yes, it's from Howard the Duck, but every dirt pile has the occasional gem hidden in it.

www.gunaxin.com

...and I would STILL do such things to that woman.

scifiwire.com
 
2010-08-28 10:57:31 AM
As a sneaker-head I welcome our new gum-soled, self-tightening foot-based overloads.

/Loves me some Nike brand
//uglier the better
///...I spend what on Dunks?

Hangs head in shame.
 
2010-08-28 10:57:51 AM
unalivezombie: To be fair, basketball players wouldn't mind not having shoelaces to get in the way of playing basketball. I don't mean that they are stupid, but that the strings on the shoes may get loose or undone and could cause someone to trip, but is something you don't want to happen while playing sports

Somehow I don't think that would be worse than an electric shoe that could suddenly untie or strangle your foot or become self aware and make you kick random people in the balls.


MzPigy: Mugato: Great. The flying car, the hoverboard, the self drying jacket, the food hydrator, the Pit Bull, blood replacement, holographic sharks and which technology did we actually achieve? The self lacing shoes.

I'll just leave this here...
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15646766

/copypasta, biatchezzzzz



No one wants me to get started on the Jehovah's Witnesses, this is supposed to be a fun thread.
 
2010-08-28 11:02:37 AM
mrlewish: Patentable? Talk about prior art!

Non-enabling prior art. It took 25 years for people to figure out how to make it work. Clearly nonobvious.
 
2010-08-28 11:06:52 AM
Where's our flying cars? We were promised flying cars!
 
2010-08-28 11:07:16 AM
So when will we finally get Mr. Fusion?
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2010-08-28 11:07:53 AM
YES! We are getting closer to the Cubs winning the World Series!
 
2010-08-28 11:10:14 AM
MzPigy: Mugato: Great. The flying car, the hoverboard, the self drying jacket, the food hydrator, the Pit Bull, blood replacement, holographic sharks and which technology did we actually achieve? The self lacing shoes.

I'll just leave this here...
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15646766

/copypasta, biatchezzzzz


Yeah, too bad they aren't using this stuff in the field 6 years down the road. It was actually making zero impact in long-term survival rates, and the rates of adverse outcome were actually worse. Remember - blood does a lot more than JUST carry oxygen. Until you can artifically replicate every protein, immune molecule, clotting factor, and electrolyte to the same consistancy as human blood - you're still not doing any good. Still gotta treat leaky capillaries, lack of clotting factor, DIC, and the metabolic acidosis of shock.

The research on these compounds right now is geared towards how, because the oxygen-carrying molecules are smaller than those contained in a RBC, these compounds can help reduce the infarcted area of ischemic events, such as an AMI or Ischemic Stroke, and reduce the long-term effects of them.
 
2010-08-28 11:10:21 AM
FTFA: "This also means that there will need to be some sort of power supply in the shoe itself. Apparently, the patent reveals that Nike is trying to figure whether to go with either a USB or mini-USB port to charge the sneaker's on-board battery. Crazy. "

That had better be a joke, if they don't go with a kinetic charger with built in battery, Nike is dead to me.
 
2010-08-28 11:15:18 AM
This kid would love a pair...

Shoe-tying kick (new window)
 
2010-08-28 11:17:26 AM
danielem1: FTFA: "This also means that there will need to be some sort of power supply in the shoe itself. Apparently, the patent reveals that Nike is trying to figure whether to go with either a USB or mini-USB port to charge the sneaker's on-board battery. Crazy. "

That had better be a joke, if they don't go with a kinetic charger with built in battery, Nike is dead to me.


Hell, watchmakers have had kinetic chargers for years now. Shouldn't be hard.
 
2010-08-28 11:17:54 AM
Hoverboards are already here.
a.imageshack.us
Shop I did for a thread earlier this week (new window).

/drying mode on
//jacket drying
///your jacket is now dry
 
2010-08-28 11:19:49 AM
meow said the dog: This would have come very in handy for the people at the Glenn Beck teabagging festival. LAUGHTER OL. I say this as the political joke to say that they probably are not smart enough to do the tying of their own shoes. I do not mean to offend others with this comment because this is a very neat story about the shoestringings and it shows laziness on the part of the people who play the basketball.

Dammit meow, you are my favorite troll. =)
 
2010-08-28 11:20:37 AM
fark hover boards subby, I want my flying car.
 
2010-08-28 11:21:20 AM
daveb0rg: meow said the dog: This would have come very in handy for the people at the Glenn Beck teabagging festival. LAUGHTER OL. I say this as the political joke to say that they probably are not smart enough to do the tying of their own shoes. I do not mean to offend others with this comment because this is a very neat story about the shoestringings and it shows laziness on the part of the people who play the basketball.

I'm afraid to admit I missed the whole "LAUGHTER OL" thing. I wonder if someone will explain it to me or go all Fark on me.


Hello when you are on the Internet you cannot hear what others are doing so to say LAUGHTER OL is to tell people that you are having the laughter and it is out loud in the real life.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=LAUGHTER%20OL&defid=5154780

Again I will say that this is fantastic news especially for people who have the disabilities. What I am concerned about is those people who have massive fatness because this will just give them more of the incentive to be the lazy person. The roommate of me probably gets the most exercise in a day when she is tying her shoes but she usually uses the flipping flops for this reason as she is the bigger person. The other side of this says though that maybe just being the fat person it is hard to do the exercising with the flipping flops so then this could be the step that the fat people need to do further walking and eventually to losing the weight. But let us be honest it will take much more than the shoes that do their own tying to cure the laziness of fat people.
 
2010-08-28 11:21:51 AM
Mugato: Great. The flying car, the hoverboard, the self drying jacket, the food hydrator, the Pit Bull, blood replacement, holographic sharks and which technology did we actually achieve? The self lacing shoes.



I want a Mr. Fusion.
 
2010-08-28 11:22:31 AM
beaverteeth92: So when will we finally get Mr. Fusion?

That's just what I was wondering.

Hopman: Martin The Mess: More importantly, only ten years until the Cubbies sweep the World Series!

Against Miami no less...


Except Miami's team and the Cubs are in the same league, so they could never face one another in a World Series. But things can change in five years...
 
2010-08-28 11:25:58 AM
Shadowknight: bwakie: Hey Marty, let's get back to 1955 so I can do your mom.

Hey, I would've been tempted too. Look at her!

And yes, it's from Howard the Duck, but every dirt pile has the occasional gem hidden in it.



...and I would STILL do such things to that woman.


I'd hit it like a DeLorean doing 88 MPH
 
2010-08-28 11:35:29 AM
Oldiron_79: Shadowknight: bwakie: Hey Marty, let's get back to 1955 so I can do your mom.

Hey, I would've been tempted too. Look at her!

And yes, it's from Howard the Duck, but every dirt pile has the occasional gem hidden in it.



...and I would STILL do such things to that woman.

I'd hit it like a DeLorean doing 88 MPH


Which might already explain your lasting power deficiencies.
 
2010-08-28 11:40:06 AM
Clete Orris: Oldiron_79: Shadowknight: bwakie: Hey Marty, let's get back to 1955 so I can do your mom.

Hey, I would've been tempted too. Look at her!

And yes, it's from Howard the Duck, but every dirt pile has the occasional gem hidden in it.



...and I would STILL do such things to that woman.

I'd hit it like a DeLorean doing 88 MPH

Which might already explain your lasting power deficiencies.


HEY, your mom said she wasn't gonna tell anyone about that.
 
2010-08-28 11:42:03 AM
Oldiron_79: HEY, your mom said she wasn't gonna tell anyone about that.

It was just that one time, too. Nothing like that has ever happened to you before.
 
2010-08-28 11:42:49 AM
It's easier for slave labor to make shoes instead of hoverboards.
 
2010-08-28 11:46:14 AM
About time, since science blew it on the personal jet packs we all were supposed to have by now...

/Zoom, zoom, ZOOM!!
 
2010-08-28 11:53:00 AM
Oldiron_79: Shadowknight: bwakie: Hey Marty, let's get back to 1955 so I can do your mom.

Hey, I would've been tempted too. Look at her!

And yes, it's from Howard the Duck, but every dirt pile has the occasional gem hidden in it.

...and I would STILL do such things to that woman.

I'd hit it like a DeLorean doing 88 MPH


While you're driving around a parking lot being chased by Iranians with AKs, I'll be hitting it like one-point-twenty-one gigawatts.

/gigity gigity-watts
 
2010-08-28 12:00:42 PM
Mugato 2010-08-28 10:15:05 AM Great. The flying car, the hoverboard, the self drying jacket, the food hydrator, the Pit Bull, blood replacement, holographic sharks and which technology did we actually achieve? The self lacing shoes.
=============================================================

Hoverboard is easily attainable with magnets, but no one is going to want to put magnets in every sidewalk in america.

'The Pit Bull'?

Blood replacement is happening for treatment of certain disorders, but not for 'rejuvenation'.

And we have plenty of holograms around, just none that are quite as awesome as the jaws 19 thing.
 
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