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(Some Guy)   What does a guy who tries to steal six steaks and some pomegranate juice by putting them down his pants look like? This   (wtsp.com) divider line 46
    More: Florida  
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15638 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Aug 2010 at 1:39 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-08-27 01:25:51 PM  
I understand they are still on the lookout for his accomplice who asked for 10,000 marbles.
 
2010-08-27 01:42:24 PM  
The fact that it is not actually a picture of a man with pants full of steaks and pomegranate juice saddens me.
 
2010-08-27 01:42:42 PM  
Tim Buckley?

Not linking this because it's got adblock circumventing ads, but copy and paste:
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Tim_Buckley#The_Man_Himself
 
2010-08-27 01:42:56 PM  
"Why'd he steal the Vaseline?"

"Where do you think he was going to put the pomegranate juice bottle?"
 
2010-08-27 01:43:53 PM  
whew! for a second there I thought they'd actually gotten MY picture.
 
2010-08-27 01:44:18 PM  
"I'm starving. I'm starving. That is why I took the steaks," Belkola told deputies, according to the offense report.

Then do what I usually do when pressed. Browse the local Food Lion, choosing various ready-to-eat options then go to the back bathroom and ingest the goods. Once you flush the wrappers they have no evidence to use against you.

/dumb kids these days...
 
2010-08-27 01:44:24 PM  
And Vaseline. Don't forget the vaseline.
 
2010-08-27 01:44:58 PM  
I understand this guy was finally caught after a long steak-out.
 
2010-08-27 01:46:57 PM  
What, no bottle of Old Harper and panty shields?
 
2010-08-27 01:47:33 PM  
I think he resembles Bill Murray.
 
2010-08-27 01:47:35 PM  
themanfromlamancha: I understand this guy was finally caught after a long steak-out.

Well done!
 
2010-08-27 01:48:10 PM  
Shoulda used the old 'empty wrapped present boxes' trick. Or for the really big haul, the 'hide in the freezer til closing time' trick.
 
2010-08-27 01:48:11 PM  
"Why'd he steal the Vaseline?"

"Where do you think he was going to put the pomegranate juice bottle?"



fireflyblog.org

Ouch.
 
2010-08-27 01:48:13 PM  
You know who else wanted to eliminate the juice?
 
2010-08-27 01:48:21 PM  
http://www.denofgeek.com/siteimage/scale/800/600/43633.png
 
2010-08-27 01:48:34 PM  
a man tried to steal six steaks, Vaseline and pomegranate juice by stuffing them in his shorts.

Your dog wants the vegetarian option.
 
2010-08-27 01:49:19 PM  
www.denofgeek.com
 
2010-08-27 01:50:17 PM  
Let him eat steak.
 
2010-08-27 01:52:31 PM  
Treygreen13: You know who else wanted to eliminate the juice?

Marcia Clark?
 
2010-08-27 01:52:37 PM  
Boobiesontheside: Shoulda used the old 'empty wrapped present boxes' trick. Or for the really big haul, the 'hide in the freezer til closing time' trick.
Approves -
codedink.com
 
2010-08-27 01:59:49 PM  
He coulda coughed up 10 cents for a Top Ramen and not been starving, or in jail. NO, he had to have 6 steaks. SIX! These a-holes and their self entitlement issues.
 
2010-08-27 02:01:00 PM  
www.watchmojo.com

Does he look like a biatch?
 
2010-08-27 02:02:27 PM  
"Master I am disappoint"
 
2010-08-27 02:06:27 PM  
"...a man tried to steal six steaks, Vaseline and pomegranate juice by stuffing them in his shorts."

Sounds like buddy was gearing up for one hell of a weekend.
 
2010-08-27 02:12:59 PM  
pomegranate stains don't come out.
 
2010-08-27 02:16:05 PM  
SlothB77: pomegranate stains don't come out.

And that juice is expensive.
 
2010-08-27 02:18:15 PM  
Employees at Publix say they saw Mark Alan Belkola, 51, select "six individual packs of steaks"

Not six steaks, illiteratemitter. Six PACKS of steaks. That means a minimum of 12 steaks, and possibly more.
 
2010-08-27 02:19:01 PM  
I feel bad for the guy...
 
2010-08-27 02:19:07 PM  
Shorts have never been the prefered storage of choice by the vast majority of thieves.

If you're a guy, the penis and balls kinda gets in the way and bulge awkawardly. If you're a woman, you wouldn't be wearing shorts, for one, and you'd be suspiciously considered a lesbian and up to no good. I suggest sticking them under a large jacket.
 
2010-08-27 02:24:37 PM  
My GF knows a crack head lady who will deliver you steaks and charge 50% of the marked price. Apparently she is pretty good, she can walk out with a half dozen of the best steaks unnoticed.
 
2010-08-27 02:24:49 PM  
www.designverb.com

In other news, thanks to these I've never had to purchase drinking glasses.
 
2010-08-27 02:25:29 PM  
www.nicepicture.info
 
2010-08-27 02:26:43 PM  
Johnnyflash: My GF knows a crack head lady who will deliver you steaks and charge 50% of the marked price. Apparently she is pretty good, she can walk out with a half dozen of the best steaks unnoticed.

The problem is how she smuggles them out.
 
2010-08-27 02:27:38 PM  
bugmn99: In other news, thanks to these I've never had to purchase drinking glasses.

Nutella does the same thing, or they used to at least. I really wonder why others don't, I love it.
 
2010-08-27 02:29:59 PM  
Don't you hate it when you find an article to submit but for the life of you just can NOT come up with a decent headline?
 
2010-08-27 02:33:31 PM  
yoohoo52 http://AnimalHouse.jpg/

Came for the AH reference, leaving satisfied.
 
2010-08-27 02:34:48 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
"I stuff three pair of socks and a bar of beauty soap down
in front of my pants..."

/hot like the place Rance Muhammetz lives
 
2010-08-27 02:38:13 PM  
Treygreen13
Johnnyflash: My GF knows a crack head lady who will deliver you steaks and charge 50% of the marked price. Apparently she is pretty good, she can walk out with a half dozen of the best steaks unnoticed.

The problem is how she smuggles them out.


This is not what they mean by "cheesesteak."
 
2010-08-27 02:46:40 PM  
Came for pic of Dan Akroyd in santa suit from Trading Places. Leaving not disappoint.
 
2010-08-27 02:49:11 PM  
irwhiteboi: I feel bad for the guy...

Why?

When I was homeless and hungry, I didn't shoplift. I asked if I could help clean up the store for a meal. If this guy was too lazy to work, go to a food bank, or ask a church for help, he gets what he deserves.
 
2010-08-27 02:55:34 PM  
bugmn99: In other news, thanks to these I've never had to purchase drinking glasses.

heh.

i use them as vases.


im pretty sure he was going to sell the steak and not eat it. it supposed to be tucked into a girdle under an A line dress. shorts dont work.

/grew up around a professional booster
 
2010-08-27 03:17:10 PM  
rnatalie: I can't be the only one to notice...

randomesq.com

Dad, I am disappoint.
 
2010-08-27 03:35:39 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

// pedobear in training knows that sweaters work betters
 
2010-08-27 04:08:16 PM  
GungFu: Shorts have never been the prefered storage of choice by the vast majority of thieves.

If you're a guy, the penis and balls kinda gets in the way and bulge awkawardly. If you're a woman, you wouldn't be wearing shorts, for one, and you'd be suspiciously considered a lesbian and up to no good. I suggest sticking them under a large jacket.


You might be suspicious for wearing a large jacket In the MIDDLE of the Summer. Especially in Florida.
 
2010-08-27 04:50:49 PM  
What does a guy who tries to steal six steaks and some pomegranate juice by putting them down his pants look like?

A meth addict? Me thinks so..
 
2010-08-27 05:10:29 PM  
Bondith: Treygreen13
Johnnyflash: My GF knows a crack head lady who will deliver you steaks and charge 50% of the marked price. Apparently she is pretty good, she can walk out with a half dozen of the best steaks unnoticed.

The problem is how she smuggles them out.

This is not what they mean by "cheesesteak."


She uses a bag or purse, those were some good steaks.
 
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