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(Greeley Tribune)   "Animal control officers received a call from an east Greeley resident who said a turkey was knocking on their front door"   (greeleytribune.com) divider line 38
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3119 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Aug 2010 at 12:04 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-08-26 10:54:13 AM
dinner delivered itself?
 
2010-08-26 11:25:16 AM
Knocking on the front door you say?
www.thedrinkshop.com
 
2010-08-26 11:37:42 AM
"We found out the turkey must have seen his reflection in the door glass," West said, "and thought it was another turkey and started pecking at it."

Sand Hill Cranes here do that. Except they're like 5 feet tall sometimes.

I have a Jane and two youngins feeding in my back yard lately. (turkeys that is)
 
2010-08-26 12:05:38 PM
Do me a favor and open the door and let 'em in.
 
2010-08-26 12:07:30 PM
It's not that hard to scare off a wild turkey, unless people have been feeding them...

But yeah. Dinner. Bring it to meeee...
 
2010-08-26 12:09:26 PM
That's no way to speak of a Jehovah's Witness.
 
2010-08-26 12:10:53 PM
My mom loves to tell this story about a wild turkey that lived in a field near her house. When she cut through the field on her way to school wearing a red sweater one day, the turkey attacked. After that, every time the turkey saw my mom, it was ON.

It doesn't sound that funny, but picture a little German girl with blonde pigtails going all UFC with a wild turkey.
 
2010-08-26 12:14:20 PM
As God is my witness, I thought turkeys couldn't knock.
 
2010-08-26 12:15:25 PM
img695.imageshack.us
Drop the chainsaw if you want him to live!
 
2010-08-26 12:15:54 PM
I sometimes spot some wild turkeys strollin' by the interstate.

Part of me wonders if one of them would hop in my car if I pulled over for it. What's a wild turkey doing in the emergenc lane of the interstate? Where's it trying to go? What's got this turkey so mad?

It's because everybody wants to run.

/Alabama's also got wild boars
//Though, really, they're just pigs that got loose and grew out their tusks from rootin' around in stuff that's harder than mud.
 
2010-08-26 12:18:19 PM
Came for Turketron. Left satisfied.
 
2010-08-26 12:29:40 PM
damn, i heard turkeys were hard to hunt.
 
2010-08-26 12:30:53 PM
Turkey is knocking on your doooooor
Always knocking on your dooooor

Do not reject him
Simply accept him
Now and forever more
 
2010-08-26 12:31:11 PM
gopher321: That's no way to speak of a Jehovah's Witness.

they really upped their game in my neighborhood. . . answered the door one day to a pair of quite attractive women in their 20's. . . before even thinking about why two cute black chicks might be knocking at my door in the morning, it was too late . . . they were really nice tho and strangely asked if i wouldn't mind if they came back again in the future

/i don't think they meant it the way i wanted them to
//still better than the mexi-missionaries who asked if anyone at my place spoke spanish
 
2010-08-26 12:31:59 PM
WTF, I live maybe 10 minutes away from Greeley and I've never seen a wild turkey in these parts...

That's it, I'm going turkey hunting.
 
2010-08-26 12:41:47 PM
Turkeys in Greeley? Isn't that a meatpacking city? I'd think that'd be great news, like wheat mysteriously showing up at a bakery.
 
2010-08-26 12:43:08 PM
gopher321: That's no way to speak of a Jehovah's Witness.

Laughter OL.
 
2010-08-26 12:51:39 PM
Isn't Greeley where that guy went on a Killdozer rampage?

googlebordello.crushhumanity.org

Rest In Peace, Funny Killdozer guy.
 
2010-08-26 12:57:30 PM
Reaperman: As God is my witness, I thought turkeys couldn't knock.

Came for a WKRP reference, leaving happy ...
 
2010-08-26 01:07:58 PM
farkinawsome: damn, i heard turkeys were hard to hunt.

1) Find a hole or steep incline and position yourself really low.
2) Use a turkey call.
3) Shoot their heads off when they peer over the edge.

They are dumb, dumb animals.
 
2010-08-26 01:11:39 PM
I'd like to see a turkey block the street in front of me. My car is larger--and believe me they do move the fark out of the way when they realize you're not stopping.
Unless they really are more stupid than the damn geese that like to play chicken with me at work. That would be hard to believe.
 
2010-08-26 01:13:13 PM
One evening I heard a scratching on the door. I assumed one of the cats was outside and wanted in. I opened the door to find a huge porcupine on the step. I closed the door, checked that all of the pets were inside and safe, and waited for him to leave. I'm really glad those guys aren't fast.
 
2010-08-26 01:19:54 PM
Proper etiquette is to show the bird in, and direct him to the oven.
 
2010-08-26 01:30:20 PM
louiedog: One evening I heard a scratching on the door. I assumed one of the cats was outside and wanted in. I opened the door to find a huge porcupine on the step. I closed the door, checked that all of the pets were inside and safe, and waited for him to leave. I'm really glad those guys aren't fast.

You should have kept it as a pet. I would.
 
2010-08-26 01:36:44 PM
That's Jive - I hear you knocking but you can't come in.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
2010-08-26 02:08:20 PM
Wild turkeys. Maybe wild and crazy turkeys, judging from their recent behavior.

img52.imageshack.us

How about a wiiiild and craaaaazy pigeon?
 
2010-08-26 02:47:56 PM
What kind of pansy calls animal control about a bird that can be scared off with a newspaper and some noise?


/would have answered the door with a baseball bat
//mmmmm... delicious wild turkey
 
2010-08-26 02:56:15 PM
Animal Control later reported that the turkey was delicious.
 
2010-08-26 03:03:07 PM
Should have invited it in for supper.
 
2010-08-26 03:05:28 PM
CaptainWes: Isn't Greeley where that guy went on a Killdozer rampage?



Rest In Peace, Funny Killdozer guy.


That was in Granby, Colorado
 
2010-08-26 03:52:49 PM
"Crandygram."
 
2010-08-26 04:11:18 PM
Cardinal: "Crandygram."

I wouldn't mind a "stuffing-gram."
 
2010-08-26 05:04:32 PM
Ah, Greeley... I was walking through Greeley Square in Manhattan today, thinking about how horrible Greeley, CO is... you can either smell the slaughterhouse or the feedlot. good times
 
2010-08-26 05:25:10 PM
Those turkeys are really pissed off!
 
2010-08-26 07:05:11 PM
drinki bird: Ah, Greeley... I was walking through Greeley Square in Manhattan today, thinking about how horrible Greeley, CO is... you can either smell the slaughterhouse or the feedlot. good times

Believe me - the slaughterhouse and feedlots smell better than Manhattan.

"How do you get from Denver to Greeley?"
"Go north til you smell it, then east til you step in it!"
 
2010-08-26 08:58:15 PM
I think it's been covered, but Greeley smells like shiat
 
2010-08-26 09:04:11 PM
Austin Nichols available, frozen...

/Yum.
 
2010-08-26 09:41:02 PM
You have nothing to fear from a wild turkey knocking on your door, that is unless you are Armenian..
 
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