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(ABC) Weird Today's Fark-ready headline: 'Confessions of a sperm donor'   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 64
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6677 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Aug 2010 at 4:59 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2010-08-20 02:29:57 PM
Yet it is still a better headline than "Confessions of a sperm donair"
 
2010-08-20 03:01:37 PM
Its not sperm donation, its remote cuckolding
 
2010-08-20 03:38:59 PM
Before I even opened the article I knew the motivation behind it was the new Jennifer Aniston movie.
 
2010-08-20 04:41:31 PM
FTA: In his days as a student at the University of Utah, Chase Kimball was known as number 007, donating his sperm at $20 a pop to help infertile couples.

Based on that math, I had gym socks worth thousands of dollars...


/try the veal
 
2010-08-20 05:01:28 PM
20 bucks? My sperm is worth 100 times that.
 
2010-08-20 05:05:31 PM
When shopping for sperm I guess women are drawn to 007.
 
2010-08-20 05:05:45 PM
I'm sorry...come again?
 
2010-08-20 05:06:31 PM
i96.photobucket.com

Sperm Doner?
 
2010-08-20 05:08:30 PM
*skeet skeet skeet*
 
2010-08-20 05:10:39 PM
I have been offered money from a woman at my workplace in excess of $500 for my semen. Couldn't do it.
 
2010-08-20 05:10:49 PM
It's like inverse bukkake.
 
2010-08-20 05:14:31 PM
Most children are never told they are the product of sperm donation, according to Kimball, "so the vast majority of my children don't even know I exist."

I so want to know how the lesbians pull this off.
 
2010-08-20 05:19:55 PM
Jeez, some young guy decides he needs the money and years later finds out, "Hey, you have 82 kids out there. Let's hope none of them married each other."
 
2010-08-20 05:22:14 PM
Came for Barney, left disappointed.

(Bastard took my donation and then stiffed me.)
 
2010-08-20 05:22:25 PM
FunkOut: Jeez, some young guy decides he needs the money and years later finds out, "Hey, you have 82 kids out there. Let's hope none of them married each other."

Wow. You know, some things we never really consider. I had never really thought about that.

Different mothers sort of takes most of the bite out of that dilemma, though.
 
2010-08-20 05:23:10 PM
I don't get it. i was adopted as a baby. Always knew. never gave a crap about my "birth parents" & never considered my parents my "social parents". they're the ones that raised me, tucked me in at night, etc. Why would anyone care enough about some kid who spooged in a cup for beer money back in college to make a big deal about him being their "father"?
 
2010-08-20 05:23:46 PM
Kimball's oldest daughter thought he was a "scam artist" with bad intentions or a "sleazoid." The youngest has struggled with the fact that he doesn't share her Mormon faith.

Being Mormon is not like being a Jedi, nothing genetic involved, just what kind of underwear you put on in the morning.
 
2010-08-20 05:23:50 PM
Treygreen13: FunkOut: Jeez, some young guy decides he needs the money and years later finds out, "Hey, you have 82 kids out there. Let's hope none of them married each other."

Wow. You know, some things we never really consider. I had never really thought about that.

Different mothers sort of takes most of the bite out of that dilemma, though.


Imagine them showing up with the grandkids. "Say hello to Double Grandpa!"
 
2010-08-20 05:28:43 PM
Treygreen13: FunkOut: Jeez, some young guy decides he needs the money and years later finds out, "Hey, you have 82 kids out there. Let's hope none of them married each other."

Wow. You know, some things we never really consider. I had never really thought about that.

Different mothers sort of takes most of the bite out of that dilemma, though.


There is a nice sci-fi movie on that topic: code 46.
 
2010-08-20 05:30:48 PM
Fap?
 
2010-08-20 05:31:52 PM
merrypranxter: I don't get it. i was adopted as a baby. Always knew. never gave a crap about my "birth parents" & never considered my parents my "social parents". they're the ones that raised me, tucked me in at night, etc. Why would anyone care enough about some kid who spooged in a cup for beer money back in college to make a big deal about him being their "father"?

I'm in the same boat. A couple years ago, my birth family found me. To make a long story short, I went out to meet a half sibling and his family. His wife immediately hated me, and was cold if not outright hostile. In the ensuing years I have gone out to visit twice when they were in town. I did not go this year. I was not called. I do not consider them to be my family in anything more than blood.. they certainly haven't treated me as such. I don't even know why his grandma bothered to contact me in the first place. It seems like she was the only one interested in my exsistance. It would hurt, but Its not like i've had a family relationship with these people to feel excluded from.

Something to think about if you ever adopt, are adopted, or whatever.
 
2010-08-20 05:32:31 PM
Before you wank into the cup realize the following:

1) You have no rights to the resulting child(ren)
2) The resulting children may feel like they have a right to you
3) People, individually, have no problem with your wanking in a cup, but if people you know in a professional manner find out you wank in a cup for money, they will spread the info and people will speak poorly of you.
 
2010-08-20 05:33:06 PM
BesiktasBoy83: I have been offered money from a woman at my workplace in excess of $500 for my semen. Couldn't do it.

Chicken. You could have delivered it fresh to them too.
 
2010-08-20 05:34:06 PM
sk8r: Most children are never told they are the product of sperm donation, according to Kimball, "so the vast majority of my children don't even know I exist."

I so want to know how the lesbians pull this off.


I beg your pardon?
 
2010-08-20 05:36:51 PM
Sperm bank - the only bank where you LOSE interest after making a deposit
 
2010-08-20 05:36:55 PM
tinyarena: sk8r: Most children are never told they are the product of sperm donation, according to Kimball, "so the vast majority of my children don't even know I exist."

I so want to know how the lesbians pull this off.

I beg your pardon?


He means, how do lesbians keep it a secret, and not tell their kids.
 
2010-08-20 05:37:05 PM
Again the article mentions those who want to end anonymous donations, since it has worked out so well elsewhere. I remember reading recently that some of the countries had to start importing sperm, as the local population stopped donating.
 
2010-08-20 05:43:48 PM
Wasn't there a guy who wound up having to pay child support because the lady proved he was the donor who was the father of her child? I seem to recall such a story.
 
2010-08-20 05:44:00 PM
Bless me father for I accidentally all over the confession booth?
 
2010-08-20 05:44:22 PM
Do the nurses ever help?
 
2010-08-20 05:44:45 PM
fb- is absolutely unimpressed.
 
2010-08-20 05:47:28 PM
Sin_City_Superhero: *skeet skeet skeet*

img820.imageshack.us
 
2010-08-20 05:48:11 PM
"My fellow Americans: I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did ga-googity that girl. I ga-shmoygadeed her ga-flavity with my googis, and I am sorry."

i38.tinypic.com
 
2010-08-20 05:48:22 PM
Cowboy Spencer: Wasn't there a guy who wound up having to pay child support because the lady proved he was the donor who was the father of her child? I seem to recall such a story.

I think you're right. He had to give a DNA sample. The sample was proof that he was the biological father. Paylarity ensured.
 
2010-08-20 05:52:41 PM
Hotdog453: I so want to know how the lesbians pull this off.

I beg your pardon?

He means, how do lesbians keep it a secret, and not tell their kids.


Oh,,okay
 
2010-08-20 05:54:14 PM
Holy crap I did that for a year.... I hope to god they dont track me down one day...
 
2010-08-20 05:55:10 PM
tinyarena: sk8r: Most children are never told they are the product of sperm donation, according to Kimball, "so the vast majority of my children don't even know I exist."

I so want to know how the lesbians pull this off.

I beg your pardon?


You seed what they did there?
 
2010-08-20 05:56:53 PM
AnubisMan: Kimball's oldest daughter thought he was a "scam artist" with bad intentions or a "sleazoid." The youngest has struggled with the fact that he doesn't share her Mormon faith.

Being Mormon is not like being a Jedi, nothing genetic involved, just what kind of underwear you put on in the morning.


And the fact that her biological father worked for the spank bank wasn't a tipoff?
 
2010-08-20 05:59:10 PM
Cowboy Spencer: Wasn't there a guy who wound up having to pay child support because the lady proved he was the donor who was the father of her child? I seem to recall such a story.

Yes, but he wasn't an anonymous donor through a fertility clinic.

Link (new window clickety money shot)
 
2010-08-20 06:03:45 PM
"They recruit young college kids with no education..."

Ok...
 
2010-08-20 06:04:33 PM
spentmiles: 20 bucks? My sperm is worth 100 times that.

You'd still be making money hand over fist!

Also (FTA): Most children are never told they are the product of sperm donation, according to Kimball

Um, aren't ALL children the product of sperm donation?
 
2010-08-20 06:10:43 PM
RareChimer: 3) People, individually, have no problem with your wanking in a cup, but if people you know in a professional manner find out you wank in a cup for money, they will spread the info and people will speak poorly of you.

Meh, it's not like they're not wankers themselves, they just feel stupid for doing it for nothing all these years.
 
2010-08-20 06:16:38 PM
thepatriotaxe.com

never thought i'd get to use this again
 
2010-08-20 06:20:27 PM
FunkOut: Treygreen13: FunkOut: Jeez, some young guy decides he needs the money and years later finds out, "Hey, you have 82 kids out there. Let's hope none of them married each other."

Wow. You know, some things we never really consider. I had never really thought about that.

Different mothers sort of takes most of the bite out of that dilemma, though.

Imagine them showing up with the grandkids. "Say hello to Double Grandpa!"


Bah. This is no big deal here in The South.
 
2010-08-20 07:00:10 PM
FunkOut: Imagine them showing up with the grandkids. "Say hello to Double Grandpa!"

This works better if you imagine it in Leo Wong's voice.

www.thomaspmbarnett.com
 
2010-08-20 07:01:11 PM
But think about all the free lunch. I mean, you realize that 82 mothers out there want to meet you, so, 82 free lunches.

/Know a lesbian couple whose child is the product of sperm donation
//Nice kid, if not a little erratic.
 
2010-08-20 07:04:05 PM
It does seem like there ought to be some sort of regulation to it-like once your man juice has made 2-3 children, they can't sell any more of you in that state.

(At one point, I would have wanked off in a cup for much-needed money, but declined to lie about my genetic quality. Oops. Had to go donate some plasma instead.)
 
2010-08-20 07:06:54 PM
RareChimer: Before you wank into the cup realize the following:

1) You have no rights to the resulting child(ren)
2) The resulting children may feel like they have a right to you
3) People, individually, have no problem with your wanking in a cup, but if people you know in a professional manner find out you wank in a cup for money, they will spread the info and people will speak poorly of you.


4)And it's hard to hit the cup. I thought I was supposed to fill it but was advised just do a rim shot and we'll dilute it.
 
2010-08-20 07:22:44 PM
SKMO: RareChimer: Before you wank into the cup realize the following:

1) You have no rights to the resulting child(ren)
2) The resulting children may feel like they have a right to you
3) People, individually, have no problem with your wanking in a cup, but if people you know in a professional manner find out you wank in a cup for money, they will spread the info and people will speak poorly of you.

4)And it's hard to hit the cup. I thought I was supposed to fill it but was advised just do a rim shot and we'll dilute it.


This isn't a urine test, you're not supposed to set the cup on the floor in front of you.
 
2010-08-20 07:45:37 PM
You want to get sperm donated from some 90-year-old dude who never got cancer. Not some college kid.

/Howard Family FTW!
//too 'scure?
 
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