FARK.com: (5560727) Robber who ripped off victim's finger to get iPad hopes to get charges dropped by apologizing to victim. No, wait, I mean, by getting a hitman to kill victim

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		Robber who ripped off victim's finger to get iPad hopes to get charges dropped by apologizing to victim. No, wait, I mean, by getting a hitman to kill victim (denverpost.com)		108
		More: Fail, IPADE, Justice Center, parking garage, robbery

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15283 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Aug 2010 at 4:16 PM | Favorite | share:

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Tatsuma		2010-08-18 12:53:32 PM

Don't people realize at this point that unless you're a really really connected guy in the world of organized crime, every single hit man out there is a cop? And if he's not, he's going to be such a retard you're going to get caught?

EvilEgg		2010-08-18 01:02:30 PM

Tatsuma: Don't people realize at this point that unless you're a really really connected guy in the world of organized crime, every single hit man out there is a cop? And if he's not, he's going to be such a retard you're going to get caught?

How does one go about looking for a hitman anyway? Craigslist?

Sybarite		2010-08-18 01:02:45 PM

You know how we do it.

Incompetently? Half-assed?

Dr.Knockboots		2010-08-18 01:04:27 PM

So he's a thief and someone who wants to kill another human that he wronged.
Tell me how it would be in any way detrimental to society if we drug this guys body behind a boat in a way to attract sharks off of seal island and then made a second week of Shark Week?

Relatively Obscure		2010-08-18 01:06:34 PM

Tatsuma: Don't people realize at this point that unless you're a really really connected guy in the world of organized crime, every single hit man out there is a cop? And if he's not, he's going to be such a retard you're going to get caught?

This guy didn't even realize that they read your mail when you're locked up.

Shilldog		2010-08-18 01:07:10 PM

to be fair, the victim did give him the finger.

Ghastly		2010-08-18 01:16:23 PM

EvilEgg: Tatsuma: Don't people realize at this point that unless you're a really really connected guy in the world of organized crime, every single hit man out there is a cop? And if he's not, he's going to be such a retard you're going to get caught?

How does one go about looking for a hitman anyway? Craigslist?

Have you not seen my ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine? It's also a coupon for 10% off your first hit and buy 4 hits you get the 5th on FREE!

tnpir		2010-08-18 01:22:37 PM

Shilldog: to be fair, the victim did give him the finger.

omg.wthax.org

Kirk's_Toupee		2010-08-18 01:22:40 PM

kids and this dang sense of entitlement.

EvilEgg		2010-08-18 01:24:38 PM

Ghastly: EvilEgg: Tatsuma: Don't people realize at this point that unless you're a really really connected guy in the world of organized crime, every single hit man out there is a cop? And if he's not, he's going to be such a retard you're going to get caught?

How does one go about looking for a hitman anyway? Craigslist?

Have you not seen my ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine? It's also a coupon for 10% off your first hit and buy 4 hits you get the 5th on FREE!

All I get is Internet Tough Guy. It has ads for people who swear they really are hitmen, but always have excuses why they can't do your particular hit.

rcain		2010-08-18 02:32:49 PM

Where is pancakes house?
i.ytimg.com

I had a guy try to put a hit on me once after he walked in on me and his girlfriend.
Was offering a whole $500 for the job, the guy he went to was a friend of mine.
Yes, he got told. He just couldn't do anything but lose.
I even offered to take him out for some beer to set things right.
He said I needed to back off or he'd kill me, which must have meant walking home sulking.
Cuz that's what he did. No wonder his girlfriend boffed me at his little BBQ party.

Gig103		2010-08-18 03:04:15 PM

Ghastly: Have you not seen my ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine? It's also a coupon for 10% off your first hit and buy 4 hits you get the 5th on FREE!

That's not such a smart business model. What if my first four hits are old people with no neighbors or family, but then my fifth is an FBI agent? Unless all hits are the same price in your book (they shouldn't be), then you're really taking a chance with your profit margins.

Bathia_Mapes		2010-08-18 03:05:52 PM

EvilEgg: How does one go about looking for a hitman anyway? Craigslist?

You call 701-555-1996 & ask for Shep Proudfoot. He'll hook you up.

namatad		2010-08-18 03:06:28 PM

criss-cross

you need to offer payment in kind!
I will kill your dumbass wife and you can kill my dumbass wife.
we can alibi each other too.

would make for the perfect crime.

namatad		2010-08-18 03:08:13 PM

Gig103: Ghastly: Have you not seen my ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine? It's also a coupon for 10% off your first hit and buy 4 hits you get the 5th on FREE!

That's not such a smart business model. What if my first four hits are old people with no neighbors or family, but then my fifth is an FBI agent? Unless all hits are the same price in your book (they shouldn't be), then you're really taking a chance with your profit margins.

meh
me can always kill you instead for trying to make the 5th one such a hard jorb.

plus, fbis are just as easy to kill as the next guy.
their cars blow up just as easily as the next guy's.

TeddyBallGame		2010-08-18 03:13:39 PM

Now is it OK to support the death penalty?

namatad		2010-08-18 03:15:30 PM

TeddyBallGame: Now is it OK to support the death penalty?

no
cheaper to lock this tard up for life
more fun punishing him in prison
death is too easy for him

xanadian		2010-08-18 03:47:34 PM

iPad. Serious business.

tototototo		2010-08-18 04:03:10 PM

In fairness, he was already ripped off an arm and a leg. What's one more finger?

Philly_gp		2010-08-18 04:20:37 PM

"PEOPLE THAT ANNOY YOU"

J.Garcia'sRightMiddleFinger		2010-08-18 04:21:57 PM

At some point in maybe two or so years, this guy will reach that day when he would have gotten out for the robbery, and will still have at least a decade remaining as a result of his letter. This will be a sad day for him.

ChrisSuperstar		2010-08-18 04:22:07 PM

These are the time I wish we could bring back public hanging. Scum like this deserve to swing.

monoski		2010-08-18 04:22:45 PM

A guy in the Philly area just tried to hire a hitman off of Facebook to kill the woman he raped. This internet killer thing just might catch on.

neurobadger		2010-08-18 04:26:13 PM

... it's a farking IPAD.

Hallows_Eve		2010-08-18 04:28:12 PM

"I really need this otherwise it's a wrap!! If you do this, case is dropped."

I do not think he understands a process or two. And wasn't he caught on camera?

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom		2010-08-18 04:28:37 PM

Attractive, yes....successful? Not so much.

Citrate1007		2010-08-18 04:28:55 PM

ChrisSuperstar: These are the time I wish we could bring back public hanging. Scum like this deserve to swing.

You can only die once, but prison rape keeps on giving.

Makh		2010-08-18 04:29:35 PM

I'm sure Steve Ballmer would have done it for free.

Shrink		2010-08-18 04:30:03 PM

Bathia_Mapes: EvilEgg: How does one go about looking for a hitman anyway? Craigslist?

You call 701-555-1996 & ask for Shep Proudfoot. He'll hook you up.

Nice. I see what you did with the phone number.

stevecore		2010-08-18 04:30:52 PM

I BACKTRACED IT!!! YOU DUN GOOFED UP!!

KatjaMouse		2010-08-18 04:32:07 PM

neurobadger: ... it's a farking IPAD.

And the victim wasn't even buying it for himself. His boss gave him the corporate credit card to get one for a client.

ZeroCorpse		2010-08-18 04:34:59 PM

ChrisSuperstar: These are the time I wish we could bring back public hanging. Scum like this deserve to swing.

Swing? No.

This is the kind of guy that you put in the stockades, and then let the townsfolk throw garbage at him and laugh.

THEN you put him to work in a prison. He could use 50 years of digging ditches and cleaning out sewers.

And the guy he wrote to? Grab him and put the pressure on him confess. It sounds like this is not the first time they have silenced a witness.

FrangoVAM		2010-08-18 04:36:56 PM

Bwahahahahaha!

Man, the world just churns out losers at an amazing pace!

Hope Mr. Jordan sleeps soundly, knowing this idiot is gonna get PMITA'ed!

Maus III		2010-08-18 04:44:36 PM

monoski: A guy in the Philly area just tried to hire a hitman off of Facebook to kill the woman he raped. This internet killer thing just might catch on.

Lucian, nobody has to be sent to hell...even you. I read from your post that you worship killers. That is too bad. BUT...salvation is a FREE GIFT that happens in a split second when you believe in Jesus alone to save you! It is impossible to lose or "leave" salvation (John 6:39-40, John 10:28, 1 John 5:13).

The truth about Jesus is that the only way to be saved and to get into heaven and avoid being sent to eternal hell, is by believing in faith alone that Jesus, who is God, died on the cross for our sins as FULL PAYMENT for all our sins, and then Jesus rose from the dead (1 Corinthians 15:1-4). Believe this and you will be in heaven, no matter what!

Please pray now: "Jesus, please forgive me of my sins. I believe that You died on the cross for my sins and You rose from the dead. Thank You for eternal life!" You will be in heaven with Him forever when you die! :D

ThreadSinger		2010-08-18 04:44:46 PM

Kill this man. Now.

Kurmudgeon		2010-08-18 04:44:59 PM

"How does one go about looking for a hitman anyway? Craigslist?"

eBay, but you have to have Paypal.

jjorsett		2010-08-18 04:46:58 PM

namatad: TeddyBallGame: Now is it OK to support the death penalty?

no
cheaper to lock this tard up for life
more fun punishing him in prison
death is too easy for him

We tried that system at Abu Ghraib and people didn't think it was such a hot idea. Much better to just off this asshole. He's too stupid to let live anyway.

WhoGAS		2010-08-18 04:47:31 PM

ChrisSuperstar: These are the time I wish we could bring back public hanging. Scum like this deserve to swing.

That's racist!!

Philly_gp		2010-08-18 04:51:08 PM

WhoGAS: ChrisSuperstar: These are the time I wish we could bring back public hanging. Scum like this deserve to swing.

That's racist!!

No no, the "private hangings" were the racist ones.

Riotboy		2010-08-18 04:51:41 PM

Philly_gp: "PEOPLE THAT ANNOY YOU"

Riiight, but if he was white...

GungFu		2010-08-18 04:52:03 PM

How did the perp get the victim's address, ffs? And how did the police intercept this communication?

I wanna know for future reference.

Cpl.D		2010-08-18 04:53:07 PM

Dr.Knockboots: So he's a thief and someone who wants to kill another human that he wronged.
Tell me how it would be in any way detrimental to society if we drug this guys body behind a boat in a way to attract sharks off of seal island and then made a second week of Shark Week?

You got a newsletter? Put me on the list.

kobrakai		2010-08-18 04:53:48 PM

When "keepin' it real" goes wrong.

GungFu		2010-08-18 04:55:07 PM

clevershark		2010-08-18 04:55:53 PM

It's an awful lot of effort to save what, $600 or so...

clevershark		2010-08-18 04:58:02 PM

Being a killer on Craigslist is a thankless job. People agree on the phone to give you $500 but then show up at your place with only $200.

/now I'd rather throw stuff away than advertise on CL