No subby-man, no.


Any and all lemon-based pies are the most dangerous.

True horror weapons they are.

More violence from the radical, right-wing, rethuglican, Tea Party members.

Story is a bit light on details. I need to know more about the war crimes alleged to figure out if the senator in question deserved a pie to the face.

baka-san: Alphax: Story is a bit light on details. I need to know more about the war crimes alleged to figure out if the senator in question deserved a pie to the face.

Nutjobs(bush=Hitler, Obama=Stalin, ect) don't let little things like facts stand in their way.

Well, saying something about the discussion would be nice. You know, like news media should do.

Interrupted Infinitum: No subby-man, no.


Any and all lemon-based pies are the most dangerous.

True horror weapons they are.

Lemon?

Pfffffft on your lemon.

Pecan will cut you like shrapnel.

And I won't even go into the horrors of mincemeat. (shudder)

An intelligent response from Levin to boot. Using the publicity of a pie to the face in order to say that "I hold meetings like this morning's so I can hear the views of Michiganians, and I'm more than willing to hear from people who disagree with me."

baka-san: Alphax: Story is a bit light on details. I need to know more about the war crimes alleged to figure out if the senator in question deserved a pie to the face.

Nutjobs(bush=Hitler, Obama=Stalin, ect) don't let little things like facts stand in their way.

You're dismissing half of Fark with that post.

muck4doo: baka-san: Alphax: Story is a bit light on details. I need to know more about the war crimes alleged to figure out if the senator in question deserved a pie to the face.

Nutjobs(bush=Hitler, Obama=Stalin, ect) don't let little things like facts stand in their way.

You're dismissing half of Fark with that post.

HALF?!?!?! I don't think that means what you think it means.

Xetal: "I hold meetings like this morning's so I can hear the views of Michiganians Michiganders

FTFY

At least he wasn't thrown a dutch rudder.

Was it cooked in a dutch oven?

blackminded
FTFY

You know, I'm from Michigan and I didn't even notice his error the term for Michigan residents.

Unless someone actually asks where I'm from, then I lie and say that I'm from someplace that doesn't suck so hard.

soy_bomb: More violence from the radical, right-wing, rethuglican, Tea Party members.

Wrong, but keep swinging.

Just your run of the mill violent anti-war protester.

Xetal: You know, I'm from Michigan and I didn't even notice his error the term for Michigan residents.

I just RTFA; Carl should know better than that. C'mon, Carl. Debbie is the aloof disconnected one. Get it together.

Came for the Starman reference.

Leaving terrifically satisfied.

They sound completely nuts.

However, I cannot resist laughing at the pie-in-the-face gag when it happens in real life because I enjoy absurd humor.

I saw that some Key Lime Pies are deadly on DEXTER.

soy_bomb: More violence from the radical, right-wing, rethuglican, Tea Party members.

But the guy throwing a shoe at the President is a hero to you retards? Wow.

The way your minds work is Gods own private mystery.

I'm amused at soy_bomb's trolling.

This is an outrage!

How can you waste perfectly good pie like this when there are Canadians starving in Canada?!

/haven't had breakfast yet
//pie sounds great right now

Ah, so old Levin doesn't like it so much when he gets lumped in with all the other Washington bigshots who are killing Arabs, eh? It's all fun and games until people start to notice that you and your hypocrite party are just as responsible for the wars as teh evil rethuglican warmongers, right Carl?

The assault came after a speech by another protester, Max Kantar, 23, of Big Rapids, who criticized Levin - chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee - for his stance on U.S. foreign policy issues, including "Israel war crimes against the Palestinian people." After Mohsen pied the long-time senator, both she and Kantar fled from Pepper's.

"Carl Levin is one of the most respected senators in Congress," Mohsen said. "People tend to blame the war on Republicans, but we wanted to target Levin today to send a message that liberals and Democrats are just as implicated in the violence as the Republicans."

Medea Benjamin: "Detroit is careening off the cliff and elected officials like Senator Levin are throwing trillions of dollars into a bloated military budget and unwinnable wars. Detroit's own citizens -- the ones who have not yet abandoned the city -- have been forced to pay for their own demise. In the past decade, residents of Detroit have paid $1.8 billion for wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Taxpayers in Senator Levin's home state of Michigan have been forced to pay $27.8 billion in war spending since 2001." (new window)

Not defending the pie-throwers or the senator. Just pointing out how it's interesting that there's nary a mention throughout the article of Levin's political affiliation... whereas if he was a Republican, that would be noted in the headline.

That's all.

/ducks

LivingDeadX1: Not defending the pie-throwers or the senator. Just pointing out how it's interesting that there's nary a mention throughout the article of Levin's political affiliation... whereas if he was a Republican, that would be noted in the headline.

That's all.

/ducks

Maybe this is because everyone knows who Carl Levin is already? He's one of the most prominent Democratic Senators.

bobbette: LivingDeadX1: Not defending the pie-throwers or the senator. Just pointing out how it's interesting that there's nary a mention throughout the article of Levin's political affiliation... whereas if he was a Republican, that would be noted in the headline.

Maybe this is because everyone knows who Carl Levin is already? He's one of the most prominent Democratic Senators.

Do you mind? He's trying to feel persecuted.

I don't always throw pies, but when I do, I throw pot pies.

/small, compact, perfect for throwing

It look like soy_bomb is failing to troll his intended audience.

Assault. Nothing more, nothing less.

Show us your Marx: It look like soy_bomb is failing to troll his intended audience.

What else is new?

Anyway, the Dutch have always been rudderless.

Xetal:

Unless someone actually asks where I'm from, then I lie and say that I'm from someplace that doesn't suck so hard.

When people ask me, I just tell them 'At the moment I live in Michigan'. I tend to get 'Oh, I'm sorry' responses.

/not a MI native
//likes northern MI
///not fond of central MI

GanjSmokr: Asalt. Nothing more, nothing less.

And sugar.

Show us your Marx: It look like soy_bomb is failing to troll his intended audience.

No, no, I always cast a wide net.

/Sometimes I catch those with a wide stance...

Mr_H: When people ask me, I just tell them 'At the moment I live in Michigan'. I tend to get 'Oh, I'm sorry' responses.

Flip side of this: When an employer asks me about my job history, saying "Well I'm from Michigan" is the best trump card ever.

/laid off '08

GanjSmokr: Assault. Nothing more, nothing less.

Actually, it is something more. It's battery, too.

My sister worked at Peppers for 2 years.
They threw her a graduation party when she left.

/csb.

blackminded: Xetal: "I hold meetings like this morning's so I can hear the views of Michiganians Michiganders

FTFY

No no, if there's more than one Michigander, then it's just Michigeese.

I really have nothing to say besides:

"This story and everything about it and everyone involved has just made my day."

Y'all take care in this thread now, y'hear?

No one suspects the Dutch apple.

To hell with any of you Michigan haterz!

/In Michigan EVERY season has its charm and beauty - and sometimes you can experience all of them in one week :)

Hagbardr: Was it cooked in a dutch oven?

Came here for this, leaving satisfied.

\It took that long, though? Seriously, Fark. You're slipping.

blackminded: Xetal: "I hold meetings like this morning's so I can hear the views of Michiganians Michiganderps

FTFY

FTFY

soy_bomb: Show us your Marx: It look like soy_bomb is failing to troll his intended audience.

No, no, I always cast a wide net.

/Sometimes I catch those with a wide stance...

Are you admitting you are a catcher? if so can you pull a NYzooMan and take a full horse penor up your buttox

In the Court of the Levin King:

I probably don't agree with Levin on everything he's ever done, but I've always been proud that he's my senator. He just seems reasonable.

Also, Michigan is awesome, but, whatever.

baka-san: cue these two being hailed as "Heroes of the Right" in 3...2...

That's ridiculous.

There isn't even any attached footage of the thrower wearing a ridiculous pimp costume for the follow-up interview.

There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's pies and Dutch apple.

I never understood the pie nonsense. You just end up looking like a retard, like those jerks that jump onto the field during sporting events. I hope the idiot does 30 days for battery.

Stupid Flanders...

Can someone add some pies to this?

/@wurk

I thought people from Michigan were called Michiganders. Retard politician.

ahhh, equal opportunity idiocy. Excellent.

tomWright: Interrupted Infinitum: No subby-man, no.


Any and all lemon-based pies are the most dangerous.

True horror weapons they are.

Lemon?

Pfffffft on your lemon.

Pecan will cut you like shrapnel.

And I won't even go into the horrors of mincemeat. (shudder)

I saw a guy get hit with a shepherd's pie once. It was horrible; his face looked like hamburger.

ColonelNorth: I never understood the pie nonsense. You just end up looking like a retard, like those jerks that jump onto the field during sporting events. I hope the idiot does 30 days for battery.

But the pie gets far more publicity than a letter writing campaign. Publicity is the goal.

Rapmaster2000: ColonelNorth: I never understood the pie nonsense. You just end up looking like a retard, like those jerks that jump onto the field during sporting events. I hope the idiot does 30 days for battery.

But the pie gets far more publicity than a letter writing campaign. Publicity is the goal.

Too mucha salt in that battery

canyoneer: "Carl Levin is one of the most respected senators in Congress," Mohsen said. "People tend to blame the war on Republicans, but we wanted to target Levin today to send a message that liberals and Democrats are just as implicated in the violence as the Republicans."

So that is why the TFA didn't print any recount of the story. Same reason they never say Levin is a democrat. Journolist rules are like the ten commandments meets fight club.

Rule # 1: You do not talk about Democrats.
Rule # 2: You do not talk about Democrats!

Murphyr: baka-san: cue these two being hailed as "Heroes of the Right" in 3...2...

That's ridiculous.

There isn't even any attached footage of the thrower wearing a ridiculous pimp costume for the follow-up interview.

Don't give them any ideas.. that's still possible.

YoMammaObama: So that is why the TFA didn't print any recount of the story. Same reason they never say Levin is a democrat. Journolist rules are like the ten commandments meets fight club. Rule # 1: You do not talk about Democrats. Rule # 2: You do not talk about Democrats!

I don't know about all of that, but the elephant in the drawing room is that the Democrats have voted for everything they blame on the Republicans - tax cuts, free trade, deregulation, the wars, everything. The Democrat vs. Republican thing is nothing but a policeman's game: Good cop, bad cop. It's all a farce.

Was the pie baked in a Dutch oven?

Free Speech takes on a new flavor...

canyoneer: Good cop, bad cop. It's all a farce.

Well of course they are both cops, they run for the same job. It is not a farce, however.

canyoneer: I don't know about all of that,

Well, take a look at TFA and let me know if you see any mention of democrats. Any mention at all.

Dammit too late

YoMammaObama: Well of course they are both cops, they run for the same job. It is not a farce, however. Well, take a look at TFA and let me know if you see any mention of democrats. Any mention at all.

All important U.S. policies have "broad bipartisan support." The rest of it is farce.

I suppose organizations like ABC have a pro-Democrat bias, but Fox has a pro-Republican bias, and I was able to find a more in-depth article on the Levin pieing with a 2-second google search. You'll notice that all of these traditional MSM outlets are sucking for air...people are tuning out.

so did he eat the pie off his face?

If it were a Republican who took a pie in the face, there would be lulz across the board, and the perp would be on Letterman and the view the following week, yucking it up. Instead we get stunned ambiguity.

Mr_H: Xetal:

Unless someone actually asks where I'm from, then I lie and say that I'm from someplace that doesn't suck so hard.

When people ask me, I just tell them 'At the moment I live in Michigan'. I tend to get 'Oh, I'm sorry' responses.

/not a MI native
//likes northern MI
///not fond of central MI

I just take out my hand and point.

/MI native
//stuck in Louisiana

This is a horrible thing. Sen. Carl Levin has represented MI for over 30 years of its worse economic downturn. Why punish a perfectly good pie.

Obviously some individuals allow their preconceptions to override common sense and good faith attempts at finding solutions.

blackminded: Xetal: "I hold meetings like this morning's so I can hear the views of Michiganians Michiganders

FTFY

Must be from the udder side of da state. Michiganians and Michiganders are both acceptable.

//Born and raised in the Thumb.

I like how a democrat got hit with a pie but the republicans in the thread are still trying to claim victim status. Classic.

A true right winger would have thrown a fresh cow pie. So obviously this is some kind of leftie vegan protester.

Oliver Twisted: This is a horrible thing. Sen. Carl Levin has represented MI for over 30 years of its worse economic downturn. Why punish a perfectly good pie.

Blame 30 years of Michigan jerking off the Big 3 as they circled the toilet.

I love the state, but for godsakes, everyone saw what was happening with automation, but they stubbornly refused to change focus. Then NAFTA, but nope, we're a manufacturing state.

Now, only now are they seriously trying to entice some newer tech businesses not related to the auto industry.

meat0918: Michiganians

get your bad axe out of here!!!

This should be fun. Apparently the Pie Thrower, Ahlam Mohsen, has a colorful past. She was arrested while protesting Israel's occupation of Gaza, in front of Levin's office. I'm guessing that's where the stalking stuff comes from, at least in part.

FreeBeerClickHere: meat0918: Michiganians

get your bad axe out of here!!!

Booo. The only saving grace of that town is the China King restaurant.

I have yet to find as yummy egg rolls elsewhere.

tcan: A true right winger would have thrown a fresh cow pie. So obviously this is some kind of leftie vegan protester.

She wasn't a right winger at all, not even sure if she was a left winger. She's got the whole anti-Zionist thing going on, and those people are all over the map politically.

Let me know when we move on to none-partisan shovels to the face and then I might be interested.

soy_bomb: More violence from the radical, right-wing, rethuglican, Tea Party members.

Liberals have been attempting to hit conservative speakers with pies for years. Not saying it's right either way but at least admit that conservatives didn't invent this particular attack on free speech.

Okay, I laughed. But let's get serious. That crumble topping can put your eye out!

I wonder what would happen if you didn't like a policeman and threw a pie in their face.

canyoneer:
I don't know about all of that, but the elephant in the drawing room is that the Democrats have voted for everything they blame on the Republicans - tax cuts, free trade, deregulation, the wars, everything. The Democrat vs. Republican thing is nothing but a policeman's game: Good cop, bad cop. It's all a farce.

So vote Bad Cop?

Brubold: soy_bomb: More violence from the radical, right-wing, rethuglican, Tea Party members.

Liberals have been attempting to hit conservative speakers with pies for years. Not saying it's right either way but at least admit that conservatives didn't invent this particular attack on free speech.

I'll be honest, the war crimes bit makes me thinks of some overzealous liberal college students from GVSU or CMU.

You don't hear the war crimes bit from Tea Partiers to much.

meat0918: Oliver Twisted: This is a horrible thing. Sen. Carl Levin has represented MI for over 30 years of its worse economic downturn. Why punish a perfectly good pie.

Blame 30 years of Michigan jerking off the Big 3 as they circled the toilet.

I love the state, but for godsakes, everyone saw what was happening with automation, but they stubbornly refused to change focus. Then NAFTA, but nope, we're a manufacturing state.

Now, only now are they seriously trying to entice some newer tech businesses not related to the auto industry.

And in fairness to Sen. Levin, I do not so much blame him for the downturn as for not doing anything to improve the state as much as he worked to improve his own political position. Not that that makes him different from any other politician.

Bag of Hammers: So vote Bad Cop?

Vote Cop. You have no other choice.

Here's one where the guy deserved it:



Why yes, that is Bill Kristol.

"Journolist rules"

Is this a deliberate misspelling intended to mean something?

Speaks: "Journolist rules"

Is this a deliberate misspelling intended to mean something?

google is your friend.

soy_bomb: More violence from the radical, right-wing, rethuglican, Tea Party members.

I'm a liberal, and I'd say this is less 'violence' and more 'immaturity'.

ColonelNorth: I never understood the pie nonsense. You just end up looking like a retard, like those jerks that jump onto the field during sporting events. I hope the idiot does 30 days for battery.

Well, if you make it about the pie throwers then yeah, I'm sure it seems pretty shallow, since we don't get to hear any of what they had to say and they were caught and arrested.

But if you make it about Levin then you could make any number of fun points.

Levin ends up with pie on his face like the clown he and the rest of the congresscritters in this country are quickly becoming.

or

Congresscritter has American symbols of patriotism and national unity shoved down HIS throat for once.

or

It's kind of like waterboarding only it's not torture but somehow more illegal.

It's a harmless pie. There was no injury or apparent attempt to injure anything but the man's pride. I think charging these clowns with battery and throwing the book at them would demonstrate a sort of better-than-thou attitude toward our senators. IMO, Levin should take it as a joke, move on, and not press charges. Maybe make a statement to the effect of:

"If elected officials clogged up our judicial system every time somebody tried to injure our pride we wouldn't have time to do the things that you elected us to do. My job is to represent our beautiful state, not to represent myself. And my duty is to you people, even those who disagree with me, not to myself. I intend to continue serving in that capacity with or without a clean face. So no, I won't be pressing charges. Just as I wouldn't press charges if they had thrown pillows or roses. I appreciate your concern for my well being and I hope that those two youngsters can learn better ways to deal with disagreement without needed to enter the system. Thank you."

baka-san: cue these two being hailed as "Heroes of the Right" in 3...2...

Did you read the article? Only lefty nut jobs throw pies as punishment for war crimes.

/It actually combines all the lefty traits into a single action: loud, obnoxious, crazy, incoherent, cowardly and soft on crime.

GanjSmokr: Assault. Nothing more, nothing less.

It was a pie. If they wanted to assault the man, they would not have thrown a humorous prop.

Treating this like assault because it's a senator only reinforces their above-the-law-ness. If someone threw a pie at you in a baking class in college and you reported that to police as assault you would be laughed off of campus.

If they had thrown roses, and he had been pricked by a thorn, would you expect him to charge the throwers?

canyoneer: Bag of Hammers: So vote Bad Cop?

Vote Cop. You have no other choice.

totally heard that in this guys voice

BeesNuts: It's a harmless pie. There was no injury or apparent attempt to injure anything but the man's pride.

So you should be able to walk in a courtroom and throw a pie at a judge you don't agree with, for instance?

BeesNuts: It was a pie. If they wanted to assault the man, they would not have thrown a humorous prop

It was a toy gun. If they really intended on killing the hostage they would have used a real gun.

BeesNuts: GanjSmokr: Assault. Nothing more, nothing less.


Treating this like assault because it's a senator only reinforces their above-the-law-ness. If someone threw a pie at you in a baking class in college and you reported that to police as assault you would be laughed off of campus.

Which may be an indication of a problem with the police versus you reporting it. Not to say prison time is warranted in either case but you certainly should expect to pay a fine and some community service for the action. In both cases.

BeesNuts: ColonelNorth: I never understood the pie nonsense. You just end up looking like a retard, like those jerks that jump onto the field during sporting events. I hope the idiot does 30 days for battery.

Well, if you make it about the pie throwers then yeah, I'm sure it seems pretty shallow, since we don't get to hear any of what they had to say and they were caught and arrested.

But if you make it about Levin then you could make any number of fun points.

Levin ends up with pie on his face like the clown he and the rest of the congresscritters in this country are quickly becoming.

or

Congresscritter has American symbols of patriotism and national unity shoved down HIS throat for once.

or

It's kind of like waterboarding only it's not torture but somehow more illegal.

Ah, I see, so something like . . .

[bong hit] "*Cough* *cough* *cough* So you know how, like, people say Congress is a bunch of stupid clowns and stuff, and, like, how they do all kinds of stupid things, like clowns do? Well we should do something that makes Levin look stupid, you know, like a clown . . . OMG we could throw a pie in his face! LOLOLOLOL"

or

[bong hit] "*Cough* *cough* *cough* So you know how, like, Levin represents America and stuff, but he's not REALLY representing America, because, he, you know, does stuff that's bad for America? Well we should like, I dunno . . . throw something American in his face, like . . . uhhhh . . . OMG, an apple pie!! LOLOLOLOL"

or

[bong hit] "*Cough* *cough* *cough* So you know how, like, those people say that waterboarding isn't illegal, but small stuff, like, you know, hitting someone, is? Well WE should get OURSELVES in trouble for something small like that, so, you know, like, people can see the absurdity of saying waterboarding isn't bad . . . like, maybe we could throw something harmless at him, like . . . uuuhhh . . . OMG, an apple pie!! LOLOLOL"

You know, or you could all assume that two young people were trying to threaten and attack a man with baked goods.

I'm not saying they aren't stupid or wrong, or that they had a "good" reason to do this. Which is what you're all piling on about. What I'm saying is that it would probably be unwise to lynch these two people over it. I also think it's wrong for us to assume that they went to the trouble of baking a pie, preparing a statement, and throwing the pie at an elected official without a point to make.

I do see that The Name there got the gist of my point, though possibly without realizing it. Young people do some dumb things to get their point across. It sucks being young. People don't listen to you simply because you are young. I seem to recall some pretty excellent pictures of young people from the 60s and 70s doing some fairly stupid things to get in the news to give a platform to their point.

The difference is that today the press turns people who have and express opinions in a public manner into extremists and nutjobs. Back in the 60s and 70s they put them on the covers of magazines and celebrated their rebellious nature.

Yes. This was a very dumb thing to do. No. I don't think this counts as assault. Yes. I do think it is wrong and should be punished. No. I do not think this is assault. Yes. I do agree that the "point" being made is likely incoherent. No. I do not think this is assault.

I'm sorry if that turns people off, but I find it hard to consider a pie "an unlawful attempt to commit violent injury upon another."

I also don't think that pie throwing SHOULD be considered:
"an attempt to cause or purposely, knowingly, or recklessly causing bodily injury to another; or negligently causing bodily injury to another with a deadly weapon."

A pie isn't considered a deadly weapon. That last clause is right out. It can't be considered an attempt to commit violent injury upon another unless you actually want to believe their intent was to harm the man. With a pie. So the first clause goes, IMO.

And since he wasn't injured the middle clause goes.

Again, I'm not trying to defend these fools. I just want people to stop being such farking drama queens, the way the word "assault" got tossed about in here earlier.

Possibly Battery.

Oliver Twisted: BeesNuts: GanjSmokr: Assault. Nothing more, nothing less.


Treating this like assault because it's a senator only reinforces their above-the-law-ness. If someone threw a pie at you in a baking class in college and you reported that to police as assault you would be laughed off of campus.

Which may be an indication of a problem with the police versus you reporting it. Not to say prison time is warranted in either case but you certainly should expect to pay a fine and some community service for the action. In both cases.

So you're saying that you'd report a pie in the face to police.

We truly have become a nation of pantywaists.

And I still think Battery is a bit much. Possibly *true* by the letter of the law, but then so is a pat on the back if it's unwelcome.

BeesNuts: And I still think Battery is a bit much. Possibly *true* by the letter of the law, but then so is a pat on the back if it's unwelcome.

definitely more of a crusty thing than a battery thing

/I am gonna keep making this joke mofos

canyoneer: YoMammaObama: So that is why the TFA didn't print any recount of the story. Same reason they never say Levin is a democrat. Journolist rules are like the ten commandments meets fight club. Rule # 1: You do not talk about Democrats. Rule # 2: You do not talk about Democrats!

I don't know about all of that, but the elephant in the drawing room is that the Democrats have voted for everything they blame on the Republicans - tax cuts, free trade, deregulation, the wars, everything. The Democrat vs. Republican thing is nothing but a policeman's game: Good cop, bad cop. It's all a farce.

The blind partisan posters here don't want to accept that.

Maybe it is time to revisit civility lessons? Too many people in our country sure do seem to feel that acting like trailer-trash in public is acceptable.

BeesNuts: So you're saying that you'd report a pie in the face to police.

Wouldn't that depend on the circumstances?

baka-san: cue these two being hailed as "Heroes of the Right" in 3...2...

Given that they were ranting about Levin and "war crimes," guess again which side of the political aisle is going to regard them favorably.

blackminded: Mr_H: When people ask me, I just tell them 'At the moment I live in Michigan'. I tend to get 'Oh, I'm sorry' responses.

Flip side of this: When an employer asks me about my job history, saying "Well I'm from Michigan" is the best trump card ever.

/laid off '08



I got a 3.5% raise today.

Yay me!

/yay Michigan!

Lando Lincoln: I love dutch apple pie. Mmm-mmm. If I could choose which pie to be hit in the face with, I definitely would choose that. Unless it just came out of the oven. Then it would be bad. But if had cooled sufficiently, then yes, go for it.

For my 15th birthday, I had a coconut cream pie thrown in my face.

/I had a choice between cocount cream and lemon merangue
//3rd hour Current Events, Mr. Lepler.

BeesNuts: Oliver Twisted: BeesNuts: GanjSmokr: Assault. Nothing more, nothing less.


Treating this like assault because it's a senator only reinforces their above-the-law-ness. If someone threw a pie at you in a baking class in college and you reported that to police as assault you would be laughed off of campus.

Which may be an indication of a problem with the police versus you reporting it. Not to say prison time is warranted in either case but you certainly should expect to pay a fine and some community service for the action. In both cases.

So you're saying that you'd report a pie in the face to police.

We truly have become a nation of pantywaists.

Depending on the intent, yes I would.