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(WSAZ West Virginia)   Man commits "lewd acts" with armless mannequin. Kim Cattrall not amused   (wsaz.com) divider line 102
    More: Fail, Kim Cattrall, water coolers, Booker T. Washington Memorial Park, indecent exposure  
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6218 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Aug 2010 at 1:19 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-08-09 09:58:04 AM
Eddie M. Campbell from Belle was caught at Booker T. Washington Memorial Park

He was Up From Mannequin.
 
2010-08-09 10:30:19 AM
i275.photobucket.com

Extra security. STAT!!!
 
2010-08-09 10:35:32 AM
Oh no, it was armless, IT COULDN'T DEFEND ITSELF!
 
2010-08-09 11:49:30 AM
Dummy
 
2010-08-09 01:19:35 PM
I heard it was just Mostly 'armless.
 
2010-08-09 01:21:55 PM
Was he using The Elaine?
 
2010-08-09 01:22:20 PM
Marley: Oh no, it was armless, IT COULDN'T DEFEND ITSELF!

Thank goodness the cops showed up and were able to get a handle on the situation.
 
2010-08-09 01:23:57 PM
You wanna know how I know subby is gay?
 
2010-08-09 01:24:43 PM
Lt. Cheese Weasel: You wanna know how I know subby is gay?

No but I am sure you're gonna tell us anyway...
 
2010-08-09 01:24:50 PM
Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii: Marley: Oh no, it was armless, IT COULDN'T DEFEND ITSELF!

Thank goodness the cops showed up and were able to get a handle on the situation.


First words from their mouth:

"Man... AGAIN?!?!"
 
2010-08-09 01:25:59 PM
I would probably settle for a plastic version of Kim Cattrall to commit lewd acts upon. Just not in public, because that would be weird.
 
2010-08-09 01:26:01 PM
Marley: Oh no, it was armless, IT COULDN'T DEFEND ITSELF!

The gun nuts were right!
 
2010-08-09 01:26:14 PM
If only prostitution were legal, even bums could raise some cash for a night of sexual fun. Now they have to steal mannequins lacking an arm just to jack off.
 
2010-08-09 01:26:23 PM
Candid photo of man in question:

www.tvgasm.com
 
2010-08-09 01:28:22 PM
This is not surprise at all. How many times have you heard the phrase "Arms for the pure...Arms for the pure..."
 
2010-08-09 01:28:22 PM
Ah, Mannequin. The terrible movie filmed partly locally that just won't die.
 
2010-08-09 01:28:58 PM
Edsel: I heard it was just Mostly 'armless.

Winnah
 
2010-08-09 01:29:03 PM
Plus he was caught doing it dogwood style.
 
2010-08-09 01:30:02 PM
I'd hit it.
 
2010-08-09 01:31:48 PM
You should never interrupt a man when he's trying to get a piece of wood.
 
2010-08-09 01:32:06 PM
Int he bums defense, maybe he thought it was a "special" manequin:

onceuponawin.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-08-09 01:33:24 PM
What's his Fark handle?
 
2010-08-09 01:34:12 PM
skinink: You should never interrupt a man when he's trying to get a piece of wood.

Or when he's jacking off the man again.
 
2010-08-09 01:35:09 PM
FTA "have yet to interview the mannequin..." I'm guessing that will be a pretty one sided interview.
 
2010-08-09 01:35:14 PM
Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii: Int he In the bums defense, maybe he thought it was a "special" manequin:

/FTFM
 
2010-08-09 01:35:39 PM
solokumba: What's his Fark handle?

RandyMossStoleMyLunchMoney, I think
 
2010-08-09 01:39:48 PM
I_Am_Weasel: skinink: You should never interrupt a man when he's trying to get a piece of wood.

Or when he's jacking off the man again.


ants.planet.ee
 
2010-08-09 01:42:20 PM
Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii: Int he bums defense, maybe he thought it was a "special" manequin:

Exactly where was he wearing that hat?
 
2010-08-09 01:44:58 PM
Hi, I'm a squid!
 
2010-08-09 01:45:36 PM
media.graytvinc.com
blogs.sfweekly.com

Hey Captain Campbell, why's that ships wheel stapled to your crotch?

Arrrr, it be drivin me nutts!

/I'm here all week, try the veal.
 
2010-08-09 01:48:00 PM
"Let's go to the DELLS... I think you're SWELL..."
 
2010-08-09 01:48:13 PM
Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii: Int he bums defense, maybe he thought it was a "special" manequin:

Oh, and I think you might have given me an idea for my Halloween costume this year.
 
2010-08-09 01:50:58 PM
Approves
/hotlinked
 
2010-08-09 01:51:32 PM
Shakespeare's Monkey: Hey Captain Campbell, why's that ships wheel stapled to your crotch?

Arrrr, it be drivin me nutts!

/I'm here all week, try the veal.


arrrr this mannequin will prevent us from committing homosexual acts........for about 5 minutes...
arr arrrrrr arrrrrrr.
 
2010-08-09 01:53:19 PM
lets try this hotlink again

images.starpulse.com

approves
/lukewarm link, just in case it doesn't work again
 
2010-08-09 01:55:11 PM
But did he get a reach-around for his effort?
 
2010-08-09 01:56:27 PM
"♪♫ Nothin's gonna stop him now! ♪♫"

We...except The Police.

/don't stand so close to me...
//2 Bands 1 Post
 
2010-08-09 01:56:53 PM
As the proud owner of a female mannequin, I am constantly being asked the same question. "Do you fark it???"

Actually no, it doesn't have a hole...
 
2010-08-09 01:57:45 PM
Kanawha County, represent!


/ugh
 
2010-08-09 01:58:03 PM
field marshal tania: As the proud owner of a female mannequin, I am constantly being asked the same question. "Do you fark it???"

Actually no, it doesn't have a hole...


is that the only reason?
 
2010-08-09 01:58:07 PM
field marshal tania: As the proud owner of a female mannequin, I am constantly being asked the same question. "Do you fark it???"

Actually no, it doesn't have a hole...


Does that mean you would if it did have a hole?
 
2010-08-09 01:58:41 PM
LockeOak: Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii: Int he bums defense, maybe he thought it was a "special" manequin:

Exactly where was he wearing that hat?


Suspect was hatless...Repeat...Hatless!...

/Nothings gonna stop him now...
 
2010-08-09 02:06:28 PM
dentalhilljack: Kanawha County, represent!


/ugh


:(

At least it wasn't like a few years back when someone molested the sheep in the nativity scene. Left out candles and oils and everything.

I swear, you could tell which sheep it was from the faint smile on its face on the news...
 
2010-08-09 02:10:32 PM
Interesting. Are there no hot pics of this "Kim Cattrall" in existence?
 
2010-08-09 02:11:43 PM
In a press release, the Kanawha County Sheriff's Office says they "have yet to interview the mannequin, so they are unsure if it was picked up off the street or the two met for a date in the park, however the mannequin is now being held as evidence  a material witness."
 
2010-08-09 02:12:47 PM
Mr. Shabooboo: LockeOak: Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii: Int he bums defense, maybe he thought it was a "special" manequin:

Exactly where was he wearing that hat?

Suspect was hatless...Repeat...Hatless!...

/Nothings gonna stop him now...


I guess we know what's gonna stop us now. It's the cops.
 
2010-08-09 02:13:57 PM
MelGoesOnTour: Interesting. Are there no hot pics of this "Kim Cattrall" in existence?

Fark has been slipping for a while.
 
2010-08-09 02:14:39 PM
In a press release, the Kanawha County Sheriff's Office says they "have yet to interview the mannequin, so they are unsure if it was picked up off the street or the two met for a date in the park, however the mannequin is now being held as evidence."


tommyproductions.smugglersguild.net
 
2010-08-09 02:16:18 PM
Finally a perv decides to hump a piece of wood instead of abducting some kid named Amber and this is what he gets for his thoughtfulness?
 
2010-08-09 02:16:23 PM
Paul and Storm have this guy covered. Link (new window)

I haven't slept at all
Since I saw you at the mall
With just one steely glance I was seduced
Now the girl that I adore
Stands on Macy's 2nd floor
Inbetween petites and women's shoes

On your tiny platform stage
With your skin of Band-Aid beige
You silently inhabit my whole world
In the same pose every day
You have stole my heart away
You're my fantastic plastic girl

Your lovely arms and legs
All attached by metal pegs
Their loose embrace just me love you even more so
We would be the perfect match
If I could just get you detached
From the steel support rod bolted to your torso

My little darlin'
I know we'll rise above
Those who would condemn our love
Resisting all their efforts to examine it
Ah, but if they only knew
The loving heart that beats in you
(Notwithstanding that you are inanimate)

I'd swim the Atlantic and roam the seas
To bring my mannequin home to me
And until you snap in half, you'll rock my world
I'll never tire of your beauty
Or your smokin' hot fiberglass booty
You're my fantastic plastic girl

You could be a bit more sex-able
If you were just a bit more flexible
You're my fantastic plastic girl

Your worth as a mate is debatable
But at least you're not inflatable
You're my fantastic plastic girl
 
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