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(Some Guy)   You know you're a badass when you can punch your way through a school of sharks in a feeding frenzy. "My first thought was 'I hope this is a manatee.' "   (news-journalonline.com) divider line 74
    More: Florida, Oh My God, witness statements, Brevard County, swimmers, badass, punches, University of Florida, beach patrol  
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12007 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Aug 2010 at 11:47 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-08-07 04:53:47 PM  
fight back. who knew?
 
2010-08-07 05:28:16 PM  
Manta ray. Unreliable testimony and witnesses. Manta ray. Redundant....manta ray. Calling BS on recollections of participants. Fins and tails don't "wrap around" victim. Manta ray fin just might.
 
2010-08-07 07:11:54 PM  
lantawa

Manta ray

You're displaying ray bias.

/looking at her pic i hoped it was a manatee too
 
2010-08-07 09:46:17 PM  
From article: " As it seemed to roll on its side, she said it seemed to sort of wrap its tail around her. "

Just, NO!

Manta ray. That is all. I am know....
 
2010-08-07 10:56:52 PM  
FTA: Williams and her husband Ron had stepped out of their car to look out at the ocean. They first noticed a woman swimming alone, a couple hundred feet off shore. It was about 7:15 p.m. Then, as they watched, she said sharks appeared in the water, swimming parallel to the shore between the beach and the lone swimmer.

She was asking for trouble, swimming that far out at dusk, IMHO.

As I used to live in Brevard County, I recall seeing sharks, dolphins, and manatees frequently. But, nope, never saw any manta rays. Not saying it couldn't have been manta rays. But she rode it and the witnesses confirmed it was sharks.
 
2010-08-07 11:49:39 PM  
Oh THE HUGE MANATEE!

//all I got
 
2010-08-07 11:53:25 PM  
White lady in a black swimsuit? I was thinking Killer Whale ...

// Don't doubt the shark story for a minute.
 
2010-08-07 11:54:24 PM  
Group of sharks? More likely a dolphin pod.
 
2010-08-07 11:55:21 PM  
lantawa: Manta ray. Unreliable testimony and witnesses. Manta ray. Redundant....manta ray. Calling BS on recollections of participants. Fins and tails don't "wrap around" victim. Manta ray fin just might.

Ixitxachitl, probably.
 
2010-08-07 11:55:27 PM  
As Judy Fischman swam in the Atlantic Ocean here Thursday, she suddenly found herself lifted above the water on the back of a large dark animal.

"My first thought was 'I hope this is a manatee,' "


Interestingly, that was the shark's first thought as well...


Also, not a shark. Their skin is like 50 grit sandpaper; one hitting you hard enough to lift you out of the water would give you nasty road rash on the contact surfaces. Lady probably just beat the stuffing out of a porpoise trying to say hello.
 
2010-08-07 11:55:38 PM  
Can we just all compromise and call it a Manatee Ray?
 
2010-08-07 11:55:42 PM  
Marcus Aurelius: lantawa

Manta ray

You're displaying ray bias.

/looking at her pic i hoped it was a manatee too


I clearly must be missing something. Is that even ENGLISH?!
 
2010-08-07 11:58:49 PM  
I'm punching a manatee in the anus RIGHT NOW so I'm really getting a something something...
 
2010-08-07 11:59:35 PM  
Shark Week!
 
2010-08-07 11:59:37 PM  
GungFu: Can we just all compromise and call it a Manatee Ray?

Call it what you want, just don't eat the fins!
 
2010-08-08 12:00:20 AM  
Manatee are awesome.

/drtfa
 
2010-08-08 12:01:01 AM  
"Maybe they thought I was a seal," she said. "I had on a black bathing suit."

No, ma'am. Judging by your photograph, they probably thought you were a dead killer whale.
 
2010-08-08 12:01:31 AM  
Poppa Boner: I'm punching a manatee in the anus RIGHT NOW so I'm really getting a something something...

FISTING MANATEE!

New Band Name!
 
2010-08-08 12:01:36 AM  
www.news-journalonline.com


"My first thought was 'I hope this is a manatee.' "

They even got a quote from the shark. Now that's journalism.
 
2010-08-08 12:02:24 AM  
LoneVVolf: As Judy Fischman swam in the Atlantic Ocean here Thursday, she suddenly found herself lifted above the water on the back of a large dark animal.

"My first thought was 'I hope this is a manatee,' "

Interestingly, that was the shark's first thought as well...


Also, not a shark. Their skin is like 50 grit sandpaper; one hitting you hard enough to lift you out of the water would give you nasty road rash on the contact surfaces. Lady probably just beat the stuffing out of a porpoise trying to say hello.


FTA: "Scrapes on her legs" Shark skin, check.
 
2010-08-08 12:03:23 AM  
ThreeEdgedSword: Poppa Boner: I'm punching a manatee in the anus RIGHT NOW so I'm really getting a something something...

FISTING MANATEE!

New Band Name!


First album: When the Manatees Rape Back
 
2010-08-08 12:04:27 AM  
At least they weren't flying sharks. Or shark cavalry.
 
2010-08-08 12:04:56 AM  
She punched a Shark? She shouldn't have been on the West Side in the first place. Stay away from the Puerto Ricans, lady!
 
2010-08-08 12:05:59 AM  
"Maybe they thought I was a seal manatee," she said. "I had on a black bathing suit my customary thick layer of blubber and shapeless physique."
 
2010-08-08 12:09:42 AM  
...It took this long to point out her last name?
 
2010-08-08 12:11:01 AM  
drewkumo: "My first thought was 'I hope this is a manatee.' "

They even got a quote from the shark. Now that's journalism.


+10, would lol again.
 
2010-08-08 12:15:08 AM  
I thought it was the English who were meant to have bad teeth?

Either this creature had her photo taken after she hit the $5 all-u-can-eat bar near the beach or she's got some serious dental work due.

/not English
 
2010-08-08 12:15:45 AM  
When you punch a manatee, you know you've punched a manatee. It's like punching a barrel made of concrete.

/has punched a manatee
 
2010-08-08 12:18:13 AM  
Really knows about fighting sharks:
www.sealtwo.org
 
2010-08-08 12:20:16 AM  
It was a shark.
 
2010-08-08 12:27:30 AM  
But did she suck their dicks?
 
2010-08-08 12:31:15 AM  
img707.imageshack.us
 
2010-08-08 12:34:46 AM  
Funny, 'I hope this is a manatee.' was what I thought when I saw the lady's picture.
 
2010-08-08 12:35:08 AM  
It probably came at her broadside and realized that it couldn't open it's mouth that wide.

/of course, you see what I did there
// whale of a lady
 
2010-08-08 12:35:30 AM  
this dumb b*tch punched a playful dolphin. great, punch our only aquatic friends and closed marine relatives. if word gets out, we're screwed, lady!
shark week has everyone's head twisted
 
2010-08-08 12:41:33 AM  
JAGChem82: But did she suck their dicks?

Duh. She said she rolled it over.
 
2010-08-08 12:42:16 AM  
Gyrfalcon: drewkumo: "My first thought was 'I hope this is a manatee.' "

They even got a quote from the shark. Now that's journalism.

+10, would lol again.


I came here to photoshop her head on a manatee, but now I don't want to take away from the win that was your written expression.
 
2010-08-08 12:46:22 AM  
King Something: At least they weren't flying sharks. Or shark cavalry.

Shark Cavalry? GIS reveals nothing
 
2010-08-08 12:48:05 AM  
I bet sharks would be pretty freaked out by being punched, not all that much in their environment has much of a way of bludgeoning, except dolphins.
 
2010-08-08 12:52:37 AM  
Maybe she had help from Jedibats:
zubko.com
 
2010-08-08 01:00:40 AM  
www.news-journalonline.com
"Maybe they thought I was a seal," she said. "I had on a black bathing suit."


Classy.
 
2010-08-08 01:27:47 AM  
FTA: "I screamed," she said, "but I don't remember what I screamed."

Probably some variation of this (pops to youtube)
 
2010-08-08 01:45:52 AM  
Horny dolphin trying to have sex
 
2010-08-08 01:48:33 AM  
bostonowns: this dumb b*tch punched a playful dolphin. great, punch our only aquatic friends and closed marine relatives. if word gets out, we're screwed, lady!

No, skrew yoooo dorphin
 
2010-08-08 01:49:10 AM  
JAWSOME!
 
2010-08-08 02:01:55 AM  
Now this guy...
www.premiumhollywood.com
Fig. 1a: My Hero

... he would've pulverized the sharks with a barrage of concentrated, perfectly pronounced, pure profanity.

/He can kill sharks with florid, purple prose alone.
//Al Swearengen, 2012
 
2010-08-08 02:07:51 AM  
I'm trying to figure out the black tail she saw. the only sharks around here that have black on a portion of their tail would be the Spinner Shark and the Blacktip shark. (note: I am not a marine biologist or an ichthyologist. But I dive a lot along the east coast of Fl so by Fark standards I am an expert) But they usually aren't that big. A shark could wrap it's tail that far.

I don't think both the attackee and the shore witnesses would have mistaken dolphins for sharks. You can tell Dolphins from when they breathe and she wouldn't have seen the tail.

In Florida sharks are all over the place. I have even seen a Hammerhead from the beach here in Vero. If you have ever flown in a small plane along the beach you would be amazed at the number of sharks you see. Just be glad they don't find us as tasty as bacon.
 
2010-08-08 02:18:48 AM  
I am on my third marriage.

And you expect me to think THIS is a shark feeding frenzy?

ppffsstt

nubian pleez.

The animal shark is a pussy compared to the land shark called ex-wife.
 
2010-08-08 02:43:37 AM  
She forgot what she screamed?

I bet it was "Don't swim away little dolphins, you're gonna be in my tummy tonight yum yum!"
 
2010-08-08 03:43:53 AM  
GreenSun: She forgot what she screamed?

I bet it was "Don't swim away little dolphins, you're gonna be in my tummy tonight yum yum!"


Made me laugh, seriously.
Not sure why, maybe it just offset the thought of that woman punching a porpoise. Decking a dolphin? Fisting a fish? Scr....... nevermind.
 
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