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(Some Guy)   Guy's lovely night of drinking vodka cranberries at the Mermaid Lounge ruined after he crapped himself during a DUI test   (wtsp.com ) divider line
    More: Florida  
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10481 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Aug 2010 at 10:58 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2010-08-05 10:15:44 AM  
after he crapped himself during a DUI test

Some TV news reporter in Tulsa did this a couple of years ago. I snickered bigtime the next time I saw him on the news. (Link goes to a copy of the police report)
 
2010-08-05 10:53:09 AM  
Ah the drunk pants-shiatting experience - who hasn't been there?

/ If you haven't, then you haven't had nearly enough to drink
// like my vodka cranberry muddled with prunes
 
2010-08-05 10:59:30 AM  
Did he pass?
 
2010-08-05 11:02:28 AM  
Thank tha gods we're done with that "vodak" crap.

Heh...crap.
 
2010-08-05 11:02:32 AM  
A turd rolled down my cousin's pants legs when he was drunk last week.
/good times
 
2010-08-05 11:02:42 AM  
Haha, he drinks vodka & cranberries
 
2010-08-05 11:03:36 AM  
What a shiatty night....
 
2010-08-05 11:04:28 AM  

Elzar: Ah the drunk pants-shiatting experience - who hasn't been there?

/ If you haven't, then you haven't had nearly enough to drink
// like my vodka cranberry muddled with prunes


Seriously. Just trying to squeak one out at a crowded bar--whoops!--the night is over.
 
2010-08-05 11:05:17 AM  
Thank God they didn't charge him with crapping his pants. That's one right they can't take from us. You can have my shiat strewn underpants when you peel it from my cold, dead, buttocks.
 
2010-08-05 11:05:49 AM  
Vodka&cranberries? I wonder if he was actually getting his period instead of crapping himself.
 
2010-08-05 11:06:40 AM  
his reputation will suffer a permanent stain.
 
2010-08-05 11:07:57 AM  
I'd love to see the look on the cop's face during transport.
 
2010-08-05 11:08:42 AM  
Enjoy your giant drink.

www.me-thinks.com
 
2010-08-05 11:09:17 AM  
Short straw has to transport him back to the station.
 
2010-08-05 11:09:18 AM  

emjaysea: Thank God they didn't charge him with crapping his pants. That's one right they can't take from us. You can have my shiat strewn underpants when you peel it from my cold, dead, buttocks.


Give it time.. there'll be a fine.
If there's a way a cop can think of giving you a ticket, they will.

/cops do not want your underpants, just your money
 
2010-08-05 11:09:57 AM  

joyride75: Elzar: Ah the drunk pants-shiatting experience - who hasn't been there?

/ If you haven't, then you haven't had nearly enough to drink
// like my vodka cranberry muddled with prunes

Seriously. Just trying to squeak one out at a crowded bar--whoops!--the night is over.


Talk about the walk of shame...

/ walk of shame, duck-waddle be thy name
 
2010-08-05 11:14:20 AM  
Was it Danny Devito?
 
2010-08-05 11:15:07 AM  

TheMega: emjaysea: Thank God they didn't charge him with crapping his pants. That's one right they can't take from us. You can have my shiat strewn underpants when you peel it from my cold, dead, buttocks.

Give it time.. there'll be a fine.
If there's a way a cop can think of giving you a ticket, they will.

/cops do not want your underpants, just your money


Waste of finite resources sounds about right, or close enough
 
2010-08-05 11:15:16 AM  
This is news?
 
2010-08-05 11:15:56 AM  

Elzar: Ah the drunk pants-shiatting experience - who hasn't been there?

/ If you haven't, then you haven't had nearly enough to drink
// like my vodka cranberry muddled with prunes



Ya know, I used to have a problem with alcohol. I even was taken to the drunk tank once with a .42 BAC, a .2 was the normal daytime level for me and I have NEVER shiat myself because of it.

I Also never peed myself (ok other than being a baby) and most, if not all of my friend have....I hope this all carries over into old age.
 
2010-08-05 11:15:57 AM  
Damn it people, there are rules for things like this. Such as, a man may only drink clear or brownish drinks in a bar.

Other colors may only be imbibed say, at dinner, or outdoors.
 
2010-08-05 11:16:11 AM  
sometimes you just gotta get pants shiatting drunk
 
2010-08-05 11:17:01 AM  
t2.gstatic.com
 
2010-08-05 11:17:43 AM  
Give the guy some credit. It's a brilliant attempt at not getting busted.
What cop is going to want to toss a guy with a load in his pants into the back of his cruiser?
Good thing they have plastic back seats.

/not that I know or anything.
//Just sayin'...
 
2010-08-05 11:17:51 AM  
Nice of them to print the guys' mugshot. LOL. It sort of says to me, "Yeah...I did it."
 
2010-08-05 11:17:58 AM  
ahhh, I love it when someone tells a funny story about someone they know crapping themselves; everyone gets a good laugh then there's always that awkward silence after wards when we think about the time it happened to ourselves.
 
2010-08-05 11:19:24 AM  
Brian Matthew Collins, 35, had a "very strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from his breath, slurred speech and bloodshot watery eyes," when the deputy approached his car, according to the arrest report.

Not sure how to break this to you officer but that strong odor of alcohol....you're going to be wishing that was the only strong odor you were dealing with in 3...2...1...
 
2010-08-05 11:22:33 AM  

emjaysea: Thank God they didn't charge him with crapping his pants. That's one right they can't take from us. You can have my shiat strewn underpants when you peel it from my cold, dead, buttocks.


Eating lunch, leaving thread.

/I'm a moran for for coming to this thread in the first place.
 
2010-08-05 11:23:48 AM  

Bullroarer_Took: This is news?


No,.....

*sunglasses*

....it's Fark.

YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
 
2010-08-05 11:28:55 AM  
Should've used these:

grupthinkpro.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2010-08-05 11:29:59 AM  
img801.imageshack.us
 
2010-08-05 11:32:26 AM  
Vodak people. come on. get with the prograhm
 
2010-08-05 11:34:07 AM  
Is crapping yourself during a DUI test considered a Fail?

Somebody needs to queue the Oil hitting the Anus picture...
 
2010-08-05 11:35:47 AM  
I've seen that guy. His friends call him Mac, and he was actually at Paddy's Pub.
 
2010-08-05 11:36:16 AM  
Just another example of pigs hasslin' poor innocent folks!
 
2010-08-05 11:39:55 AM  

Leeds: Is crapping yourself during a DUI test considered a Fail?...


Depends...
 
2010-08-05 11:48:19 AM  
Collins was arrested for driving under the influence, driving with a canceled license and two counts of DUI with property damage.

shouldn't it be POOPERTY damage?
 
2010-08-05 11:51:52 AM  
I Just shiat My Pants by Frank O' The Mountain ... NSFW (obviously!!!)

YouTube (new window)
 
2010-08-05 11:53:55 AM  

SueDisco: Nice of them to print the guys' mugshot. LOL. It sort of says to me, "Yeah...I did it."


"You done goofed".
 
2010-08-05 12:00:29 PM  

Dirtybird971: Collins was arrested for driving under the influence, driving with a canceled license and two counts of DUI with property damage.

shouldn't it be POOPERTY damage?


Will you be here all week? Should we try the veal?
 
2010-08-05 12:01:20 PM  

2KanZam: Elzar: Ah the drunk pants-shiatting experience - who hasn't been there?

/ If you haven't, then you haven't had nearly enough to drink
// like my vodka cranberry muddled with prunes


Ya know, I used to have a problem with alcohol. I even was taken to the drunk tank once with a .42 BAC, a .2 was the normal daytime level for me and I have NEVER shiat myself because of it.

I Also never peed myself (ok other than being a baby) and most, if not all of my friend have....I hope this all carries over into old age.


Congratulations on your excellent bowel control!
 
2010-08-05 12:02:46 PM  
What's so difficult about dropping the kids off at the pool before you start drinking?

/been ripped to the tits drunk many times
//haven't soiled my trousers since childhood
 
2010-08-05 12:06:30 PM  
Bet he was popular in the lock up, probably has to sit on the bench by himself.

"What are you in for?"
"DUI"
And they all came over
"and crapping myself during the arrest"
and they all moved away
 
2010-08-05 12:11:12 PM  

2KanZam: Elzar: Ah the drunk pants-shiatting experience - who hasn't been there?

/ If you haven't, then you haven't had nearly enough to drink
// like my vodka cranberry muddled with prunes


Ya know, I used to have a problem with alcohol. I even was taken to the drunk tank once with a .42 BAC, a .2 was the normal daytime level for me and I have NEVER shiat myself because of it.

I Also never peed myself (ok other than being a baby) and most, if not all of my friend have....I hope this all carries over into old age.


So when did we see the arrest report come across fark?
 
2010-08-05 12:14:42 PM  

CheddarPants: What's so difficult about dropping the kids off at the pool before you start drinking?

/been ripped to the tits drunk many times
//haven't soiled my trousers since childhood


Same here. I've also managed to avoid yakking on myself or in my car, which seems to be beyond other people's ability to manage. I can't say the same for numerous gas station bushes though.

/No I was NOT driving
//When I say pull over, PULL OVER.
 
2010-08-05 12:15:54 PM  
Save the very occasional skidmark, I think I'm fairly innocent of this one as well. Experientially, smoking lotsa marginally cured (what's the term the winos have for the new stuff?) cannabis can tend toward instability, as can sleep dep caused by days of alternating hallucinogens. Let's cut this guy some slack before we know all of the facts. Amazed he could relax his relevant sphincter in that context.

//The machine elves
//are just regular guys
 
2010-08-05 12:20:27 PM  

CruJones: Damn it people, there are rules for things like this. Such as, a man may only drink clear or brownish drinks in a bar.

Other colors may only be imbibed say, at dinner, or outdoors.


I claim an exemption, as I'm from Cape Cod.
 
2010-08-05 12:27:33 PM  

jbrooks544: CruJones: Damn it people, there are rules for things like this. Such as, a man may only drink clear or brownish drinks in a bar.

Other colors may only be imbibed say, at dinner, or outdoors.

I claim an exemption, as I'm from Cape Cod.


i like a splash of grapefruit juice in my vodka. is that not manly? too bad, because it taste like crap mixed with coke.
 
2010-08-05 12:29:15 PM  

silent tom:
i like a splash of grapefruit juice in my vodka. is that not manly? too bad, because it taste like crap mixed with coke.


Who mixes grapefruit juice with Coke?!
 
2010-08-05 12:37:47 PM  

Pyynk: CheddarPants: What's so difficult about dropping the kids off at the pool before you start drinking?

Same here. I've also managed to avoid yakking on myself or in my car, which seems to be beyond other people's ability to manage. I can't say the same for numerous gas station bushes though.


True story.

Taking a good friend home after a concert ... he's gotten completely plastered and couldn't drive his very nice luxury car.

As we're cruising down the highway, he rolls down the window and declares:

I'M GONNA BE SICK!

There wasn't enough time to pull over and he leans his head out the window and proceeds to puke all over the side of said luxury vehicle ...

Needless to say, his wife was seriously p!ssed the next morning!

LOL
 
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