Was the make-up gun set on "Whore"?

I've done the whole make-over, using different product lines at different department stores. The only non-degrading evaluation I ever had was at Bloomingdale's (surprise - since they leap on you like badgers once you enter the cosmetics department).

The woman said I did my make-up well, skin looked fine; the only thing she suggested was, that when I needed new stuff, to try out her company's line. I imagine she no longer works there.

I hope you ladies appreciate how most of us guys manage to look so good without any makeup at all.

Although I know, intellectually, that the makeup sold in this labyrinthine space is the same as what I can buy in the drugstore for a fraction of the price, I am unable to resist the fancy packaging and the placards advertising free gifts and special enzyme action. I am seduced into believing that these products will make me, in the immortal words of Oprah, "as cute as I can be."

You believed something Oprah said, kill yourself now!

I don't wear makeup often. That way people aren't too startled when they see my "real" face. Also, that's time I could spend sleeping.

ThighsofGlory: I don't wear makeup often. That way people aren't too startled when they see my "real" face...

Same reason I rarely wear underwear.

I read up as far as her quoting Oprah. That's never okay.

I play dressup on the weekends. My makeup never looks off.

I would do her.

"I am unable to resist the fancy packaging and the placards advertising free gifts and special enzyme action. I am seduced into believing that these products will make me, in the immortal words of Oprah, "as cute as I can be."

I knew all this, but still, it is the nature of the cosmetic counter to erase memory, not to mention logic and common sense.

I was under a spell, my will entirely obliterated so that I purchased $100 worth of products. "


Holy shiat, what a moron.


"When I got home, my daughter said I looked like a clown and my husband said I looked the way I always do"

Probably one and the same.

/Works sometimes...

I've seen more women who look far better without makeup, than those who wear it.

Ladies, just give it up. There isn't anything more attractive than self-confidence. Dressing up for a special occasion is fine. But if you're constantly frittering over how you look (makeup, clothes, size, etc.), that will quickly kill the fun out of any activity. Wear some sun screen and a hat, and stop pissing away cash on products that are designed to help your self-confidnce more than your skin.

Marketing towards men: "This is great! You'll love it!"

Marketing towards women" "You suck. This is the only thing that will help you be normal, not that you ever were in the first place."

By the way:

FredaDeStilleto: since they leap on you like badgers once you enter the cosmetics department

I've seen badgers but never once has a badger leaped on me or sold me cosmetics. What the hell are you playing at?

I wear very little make-up and I look amazing.

ThighsofGlory: I don't wear makeup often. That way people aren't too startled when they see my "real" face. Also, that's time I could spend sleeping.

Girls who have thighs of glory don't need makeup anyway.

Claude Ballse: Marketing towards men: "This is great! You'll love it!"

Marketing towards women" "You suck. This is the only thing that will help you be normal, not that you ever were in the first place."

Hehe nice.

Claude Ballse: I've seen more women who look far better without makeup, than those who wear it.

Ladies, just give it up. There isn't anything more attractive than self-confidence. Dressing up for a special occasion is fine. But if you're constantly frittering over how you look (makeup, clothes, size, etc.), that will quickly kill the fun out of any activity. Wear some sun screen and a hat, and stop pissing away cash on products that are designed to help your self-confidnce more than your skin.

Marketing towards men: "This is great! You'll love it!"

Marketing towards women" "You suck. This is the only thing that will help you be normal, not that you ever were in the first place."

MOTHERFOING THIS

Happy, relaxed, confident with a smile on her face (the smile is VERY important) will be out any amount of makeup, preening, primping, crimping or boosting.

If you need makeup to look good, you're ugly.

I made it through around 10 words of that before offing myself. Now I will haunt this thread. Hope you're happy submitter.

dark side of the moon: strangeguitar: Was the make-up gun set on "Whore"?

Thanks for the laugh!

sirgrim: I made it through around 10 words of that before offing myself. Now I will haunt this thread. Hope you're happy submitter.

lol.

I once saw a teenage BOY wearing eyeliner. So I asked him, "Are you wearing eyeliner?"

Boy: "Yes."

Me: "Why?"

Boy: "That's how I express myself."

He was in the company of his parents.

People baffle me.

Raging Thespian: shucherfase: I've seen badgers but never once has a badger leaped on me or sold me cosmetics. What the hell are you playing at?

Ahem...

check and mate

Never seen such a high concentration of female commenters on FARK before...

Nightjars: Never seen such a high concentration of female commenters on FARK before...

There's an assumption in there...

"When I got home, my daughter said I looked like a clown and my husband said I looked the way I always do"

The author's logic is bad if she believes these statements are automatically polar opposites....

corn-bread: "When I got home, my daughter said I looked like a clown and my husband said I looked the way I always do"

The author's logic is bad if she believes these statements are automatically polar opposites....

She's a woman. It's a given that her logic will be bad.

Thankfully I was born with a penis because I'd get all stabby if I couldn't even go to the grocery store unless I dolled my face up.

"It turns out I like having lips like ripe plums. Bodacious berry is definitely my color"

favorite quote

Snakeophelia: a beauty salon

A beauty salon gives you a makeover because you pay them to. A department store gives you a makeover so that they can sell you product.

Remind me again why we gave women the right to vote? Or rights at all?

Makeup: reason #47 why I'm glad to be a guy.

/ #46 is "can write name in snow without fancy footwork"

Honest Bender: Remind me again why we gave women the right to vote? Or rights at all?

It shut them up for a while?

This is a dark and disturbing look into how society treats women, and how women think they need to be for society to respect them.

/glad he's a man

corn-bread: "When I got home, my daughter said I looked like a clown and my husband said I looked the way I always do"

The author's logic is bad if she believes these statements are automatically polar opposites....


I took it to mean that the husband was agreeing with the daughter...

"you look like you always do" is the least specific answer a man can give to the loaded question he was given - "honey, how do I look?" That question is a farking minefield.

sirgrim: I made it through around 10 words of that before offing myself.

Yeah, I scanned the whole page quickly, thought "why the fark would anyone want to read this tripe?" and came back here to see if anyone in the thread had enjoyed the article and to post this. Now moving on with my life.

The only make-up chair I've ever sat in with the intent on having something sold to me was at Bare Escentuals and I already like their product line (Bare Minerals is the only foundation I will wear) so convincing me I needed their face cleansing system was not difficult at all.

/I like it because I can identify every mineral in their ingredients. Thank you Mineralogy and Crystallography. :D
//Normally don't wear makeup except when teaching, on stage, or on a fancy date.

Any daughter that tactless to tell her mom "she looks like a clown", I would disown, and tell her TGTFO. Don't come back, don't call.

When I am in the mood, I love getting just close enough to the make-up counter zombies to hear their "scientific" explanations of what is wrong with people's skin and what they can do to stop, prevent and best of all, "reverse" it. To anyone who has taken a couple biology and chemistry courses, or at least payed attention in high school, there is comedy gold in their BS pseudoscience babble. In addition to the make-up counters, Bath and Body Works, or most any store specializing in just lotion would also be a great place to go if you want to hear this kind of horseshiat.

/(our product) is awesome because it (sciency words) with the latest breakthrough in chemistry, (chemical sounding word that has likely been focus grouped) that attacks your (facial character they brought to your attention and made you feel bad about), thereby reversing the effects !!!!!!1111!!