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(Gawker) Sad Obama unleases TV's Matlock to trick old people into supporting death panels   (gawker.com) divider line 120
More: Sad, Andy Griffith, death panels, Wonkette  
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9017 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jul 2010 at 5:44 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



120 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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impaler [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:03:10 PM
I've always wondered how the right would perform an character assassination on someone like Andy Griffith.

Now I'll know.
 
Diogenes [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:09:04 PM
Things sure have changed here in Mayberry.
 
Barbigazi [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:11:38 PM
Will he demonstrated the murder machines which will transform his useless old body into delicious soylent green?
 
Quasar [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:24:22 PM
OBAMA IS INDOCTRINATING OUR OLDTH
 
Diogenes [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:28:59 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
Maaaatloock!
 
robmilmel [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:36:34 PM
"Now I don't know spit about death panels, but back on the farm when a hoss had done broke his leg we would break out the .30-.30 and pump one into his brainpan...any of y'all have any broken limbs?"
 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:41:07 PM
It would have been funnier if you saw a stage hook come across the screen and pull him off.

/or a zombie Charlton Heston appearing in the background
 
lockers
2010-07-30 05:46:24 PM
Why was he leasing matlock in the first place?
 
allthebetter
2010-07-30 05:46:31 PM
Why would he do that? Doesn't it come with a rent-controled 3 bedroom condo with a view?
 
Treygreen13 [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:46:56 PM
impaler: I've always wondered how the right would perform an character assassination on someone like Andy Griffith.

Now I'll know.

If you had been paying attention, you would have seen the commercial during the election where Andy and Ron Howard promoted Obama.

So, if they were going to suddenly decide to attack him, they're WAAAAY late.
 
redsquid
2010-07-30 05:47:26 PM
I didn't know there was a lease.
 
FirstNationalBastard [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:47:36 PM
Well, now we know why Floyd the Barber disappeared after he had a stroke...
 
PowerSlacker
2010-07-30 05:48:39 PM
What's the problem with Death Panels anyway? Let's focus on quality of life instead of quantity of life.
 
swee2th [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:49:44 PM
What's the point of making statements...

/then amending them with this stupid slash? Get out your copy of Elements of Style and learn to write like a human being.

Nothing personal, AlwaysRightBoy, I'm just so sick of seeing this pointless Internet fad.
 
Treygreen13 [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:51:25 PM
swee2th: What's the point of making statements...

/then amending them with this stupid slash? Get out your copy of Elements of Style and learn to write like a human being.

Nothing personal, AlwaysRightBoy, I'm just so sick of seeing this pointless Internet fad.

i290.photobucket.com

Slashies are a time honored tradition. People were using slashies long before I got here.
 
FirstNationalBastard [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:51:46 PM
PowerSlacker: What's the problem with Death Panels anyway? Let's focus on quality of life instead of quantity of life.

Baby Jesus said that it's better to have a braindead vegetable Schiavo hanging around using up resources, because god could miraculously restore the person to health!
 
doc_jeckyll
2010-07-30 05:52:20 PM
The president would like me to inform you that we no longer deem your life cost effective please die quickly and have a nice day.
 
Shaggy_C
2010-07-30 05:52:32 PM
Psh, figures Obama won't even pony up the cash to buy a Matlock. He'll just lease it for a few years, then when his brats and dog have all but ruined it, he'll turn around and lease a new Matlock. Elitist.
 
Lacerated Spleen
2010-07-30 05:52:53 PM
Jesus wept.
 
lockers
2010-07-30 05:53:11 PM
swee2th: What's the point of making statements...

/then amending them with this stupid slash? Get out your copy of Elements of Style and learn to write like a human being.

Nothing personal, AlwaysRightBoy, I'm just so sick of seeing this pointless Internet fad.

I think you misposted this here since there are no comments with slashes above you, but I just wanted to ask why anyone should give a fark what your sick of?
 
Paris1127 [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:53:42 PM
lockers: Why was he leasing matlock in the first place?

It's cheaper, you pay in installments, and then you get to return him when you're done.
 
bugmn99
2010-07-30 05:53:56 PM
I see they've quietly done away with robot insurance.
 
Treygreen13 [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:54:04 PM
lockers: swee2th: What's the point of making statements...

/then amending them with this stupid slash? Get out your copy of Elements of Style and learn to write like a human being.

Nothing personal, AlwaysRightBoy, I'm just so sick of seeing this pointless Internet fad.

I think you misposted this here since there are no comments with slashes above you, but I just wanted to ask why anyone should give a fark what your sick of?

There were, actually.

It would have been funnier if you saw a stage hook come across the screen and pull him off.

/or a zombie Charlton Heston appearing in the background
 
dstanley [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:54:45 PM
So Medicare and I are the same age? Sweet!
 
lockers
2010-07-30 05:55:07 PM
Paris1127: lockers: Why was he leasing matlock in the first place?

It's cheaper, you pay in installments, and then you get to return him when you're done.

Considering the age of the unit, I guess that makes a lot more sense over owning it.
 
drjekel_mrhyde
2010-07-30 05:56:11 PM
swee2th: What's the point of making statements...

/then amending them with this stupid slash? Get out your copy of Elements of Style and learn to write like a human being.

Nothing personal, AlwaysRightBoy, I'm just so sick of seeing this pointless Internet fad.

You sound bitter and fat
 
lennavan
2010-07-30 05:56:25 PM
The ad is slated to run on channels seniors watch, such as the Weather Channel, CNN, Hallmark and Lifetime, at an initial cost of $700,000.

Or you could run it on:

Fox News (teehee, during Glenn Beck would be awesome)
Golf Tournaments
Local college sports games
The nightly local news

Or perhaps non-cable TV for seniors who don't have cable?
 
Jim from Saint Paul
2010-07-30 05:56:35 PM
redsquid: I didn't know there was a lease.

palmgoon.com
 
JavierLobo
2010-07-30 05:56:49 PM
Death panels were a good idea. Spending 80 grand on drugs to give someone 2 more weeks of painful life is a horrible waste. That 80 grand could buy much greater life extension on people not so close to death. If people want their 80 grand drugs to live another two weeks, let them pay for it. The government isn't a charity. The government is there to keep you alive long to tax.
 
lockers
2010-07-30 05:56:52 PM
Treygreen13: There were, actually.

Mea Culpa. charade you are.
 
HawgWild [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:57:28 PM
WTF is going on?!

"Unleashes"?

Is it supposed to be "unleashes" or "releases"?

/gotdammit
//but slashies make me feel better
///SLASHIES!
////LOTS AND LOTS OF SLASHIES!
//moar
//MOAR!
 
lockers
2010-07-30 05:58:41 PM
What's the point of making statements...

/then amending them with this stupid slash? Get out your copy of Elements of Style and learn to write like a human being.

Nothing personal, HawgWild, I'm just so sick of seeing this pointless Internet fad.
 
Treygreen13 [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:59:04 PM
JavierLobo: Death panels were a good idea. Spending 80 grand on drugs to give someone 2 more weeks of painful life is a horrible waste. That 80 grand could buy much greater life extension on people not so close to death. If people want their 80 grand drugs to live another two weeks, let them pay for it. The government isn't a charity. The government is there to keep you alive long to tax.

They are also the absolute certain way to make sure that anything they are attached to is voted down and removed within 3 minutes of passing.

I understand the value of a "death panel" in the long term, but you've gotta realize that is a PR nightmare. There is no "spin" capable of covering that mess.
 
zz9
2010-07-30 06:01:21 PM
robmilmel: "Now I don't know spit about death panels, but back on the farm when a hoss had done broke his leg we would break out the .30-.30 and pump one into his brainpan...any of y'all have any broken limbs?"

img836.imageshack.us
 
vernonFL [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 06:01:44 PM
Diogenes: Things sure have changed here in Mayberry.

Peaches in Mayberry (new window) NSFW!
 
Crid
2010-07-30 06:02:05 PM
I feel I must be missing something here. Presumably Obama isn't wanting to do away with private healthcare. So wouldn't you end up with what we've got in the UK, where you can use the NHS, but the private option is still open to you? My past few employers have offered private medical coverage and I've used it on one occasion for a hernia op. I saw the same specialist that I would have seen under the NHS, but because I was private (it wasn't MY money), I saw him sooner and got the op done sooner too.

So even if somebody is refused medical coverage for whatever reason, if they can afford to have it done privately, how are they any worse off than they are now? (And if they can't afford to have it done privately, how are they any worse off than they are now?)

/Not trolling - it's a genuine question
 
MadameX
2010-07-30 06:02:11 PM
swee2th: What's the point of making statements...

/then amending them with this stupid slash? Get out your copy of Elements of Style and learn to write like a human being.

Nothing personal, AlwaysRightBoy, I'm just so sick of seeing this pointless Internet fad.


Farkers and Farkettes love slashies.

/the more slashies
//the better we love them
///feel the love
 
horsecore
2010-07-30 06:02:26 PM
swee2th: What's the point of making statements...

/then amending them with this stupid slash? Get out your copy of Elements of Style and learn to write like a human being.

Nothing personal, AlwaysRightBoy, I'm just so sick of seeing this pointless Internet fad.

you sound old.

/and fat.
 
bubbaprog [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 06:02:42 PM
Treygreen13: lashies are a time honored tradition. People were using slashies long before I got here.

Then you must be new, because in the timeline of Fark slashes are late to the game.

They originated as pseudo HTML tag closes in this style:

Poster: Yeah, I think that'll work perfectly.

/sarcasm

Then people who were stupid started adding the word "off"

Poster: I love the slashes.

/sarcasm off

And now people with small brains leave streams of slashes they think are clever but are actually nonsensical and stupid.

But they are not a Fark "tradition" in the way, oh, Boobies threads were a Fark tradition.
 
Ringtailed79
2010-07-30 06:03:23 PM
The whistling. THE GODDAMN WHISTLING.
Fark that theme song and fark you for reminding me of it.
 
Gonz [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 06:03:47 PM
swee2th: What's the point of making statements...

/then amending them with this stupid slash? Get out your copy of Elements of Style and learn to write like a human being.

Nothing personal, AlwaysRightBoy, I'm just so sick of seeing this pointless Internet fad.

There's only one thing that bugs me about slashies. It's not the fact that they exist, either.

//It's that there should always be two of them.
 
PeppaJack
2010-07-30 06:04:02 PM
swee2th: What's the point of making statements...

/then amending them with this stupid slash? Get out your copy of Elements of Style and learn to write like a human being.

Nothing personal, AlwaysRightBoy, I'm just so sick of seeing this pointless Internet fad.

www.wired.com

/there's a slashie in there somewhere
 
Lonestar
2010-07-30 06:04:06 PM
truerecovery.files.wordpress.comHot


RELEASE THE KRAKEN
 
impaler [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 06:04:10 PM
Treygreen13: /then amending them with this stupid slash?

A little fark trivia. the '/' notation started as mock html

Example:

Doh!


which was sometimes changed to:
[homer]
Doh!
[/homer]
Because of php message board notation and html being enabled.

This was later commonly truncated to:
Doh!
[/homer]

and then:
Doh!
/homer

And now it is pretty much short hand for 'PS'.
 
trancemission
2010-07-30 06:04:12 PM
Will this be running alongside the commercials for Old Glory Robot Insurance?
 
bobbette
2010-07-30 06:04:27 PM
I just realized that 60 years from now, Lindsay Lohan or Zac Efron will be explaining the forced-euthanization chambers to people my age, on old-people channels where they're showing re-runs of Jersey Shore.

"There's pretty music, and you go on to the next big, like adventure! Let'shiat the beach, you guys!"

And the President will be some young whippersnapper who wasn't even alive when 9/11 happened, and will laugh at how old-fashioned we are when we reminisce about iPhones, or Youtube, or Twitter...

This grim vision makes me long for a future of runaway global warming, where we all end up floating in raft cities on an un-ending ocean planet, fighting for control over that huge patch of floating plastic garbage in the Pacific Ocean ("America II".)
 
lockers
2010-07-30 06:05:02 PM
bubbaprog: Then you must be new, because in the timeline of Fark slashes are late to the game.

Should we get off your lawn? Is our loud playing interrupting your nap time before jeopardy?
 
jagec
2010-07-30 06:05:07 PM
Treygreen13:
They are also the absolute certain way to make sure that anything they are attached to is voted down and removed within 3 minutes of passing.

I understand the value of a "death panel" in the long term, but you've gotta realize that is a PR nightmare. There is no "spin" capable of covering that mess.

It gets into the age-old problem of how democracy deals with unpopular, but necessary measures.

The answer is, not well. It's one of the greatest weaknesses of the system, in fact.
 
Treygreen13 [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 06:05:34 PM
bubbaprog: Treygreen13: lashies are a time honored tradition. People were using slashies long before I got here.

Then you must be new, because in the timeline of Fark slashes are late to the game.

They originated as pseudo HTML tag closes in this style:

Well, I definitely haven't been here as long as you have. You can look at my profile and see how long I've been here.

However, since I got here in 2007 this is the first time I've ever seen anybody complain about slashies. People do them all the time and nobody says anything about them.

Hence, my comment about slashies being a "fad". They're not. It's 3 years later and people do still use it and nobody ever says anything about it.
 
FirstNationalBastard [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 06:06:10 PM
Ringtailed79: The whistling. THE GODDAMN WHISTLING.
Fark that theme song and fark you for reminding me of it.

It's okay.

Why don't you think about Aunt Bea using one of her Kerosene Cucumbers as a dildo instead? One in each hole.
 
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