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(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool It's taken twenty years, but Roger Ebert finally gets around to reviewing Troll 2   (rogerebert.suntimes.com) divider line 41
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4283 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 30 Jul 2010 at 6:49 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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Wight Power
2010-07-30 04:11:29 PM
He's reviewing it... and then he's going to review me!

Oh my GAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWD!
 
oldebayer
2010-07-30 04:53:35 PM
I saw a review of this on the Dish HD channel. Sounds pretty cool.
 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 04:58:45 PM
Well... kinda, subby.

It's more of a review of Best Worst Movie, the documentary about the phenomenon that *is* Troll 2.

I did a double-take at first, thinking: "Ebert gave Troll 2 three stars? How could THAT be?"


I would've given it four stars, personally. Shhhhhhhhh.
 
G_Fish [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 05:07:50 PM
We had a showing of Troll 2 and the documentary at my school last semester. The director of the documentary (the kid in the movie) was there and did a Q&A after.

They also called George Hardy and had him speak to the audience, he is hilarious.
 
The English Major [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 06:18:19 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Well... kinda, subby.

Hey, it was the best I could come up with. I was just glad he reviewed it!
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 06:42:55 PM
And he gave Die Hard 2 stars. Die Hard.
 
jake_lex [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 06:50:26 PM
Did he have a fly on his face during the review?

/OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
 
Psumek
2010-07-30 06:56:33 PM
Mugato: And he gave Die Hard 2 stars. Die Hard.

How many for Live Fast, Die Harderest?
 
Joed112784
2010-07-30 07:06:12 PM
Well he clearly saw that it is one of the greatest cinematic accomplishments of the last 50 years. I challenge any studio to recreate the perfect storm of suck created by this movie. It's almost beautiful. I show it to as many people as I can.

/Popcorn
 
Reverend Otis
2010-07-30 07:18:07 PM
There's a fly on my forehead!

OH MY GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWD!
 
Fano
2010-07-30 07:28:38 PM
Mugato: And he gave Die Hard 2 stars. Die Hard.

Didn't he originally give Star Wars a bad review, then went back and redid the review?
 
stoli n coke
2010-07-30 07:29:16 PM
Joed112784: Well he clearly saw that it is one of the greatest cinematic accomplishments of the last 50 years. I challenge any studio to recreate the perfect storm of suck created by this movie. It's almost beautiful. I show it to as many people as I can.

/Popcorn

This. Troll 2 is the Gone With The Wind of crap cinema.
 
jedzz
2010-07-30 07:30:02 PM
Joed112784: Well he clearly saw that it is one of the greatest cinematic accomplishments of the last 50 years. I challenge any studio to recreate the perfect storm of suck created by this movie. It's almost beautiful. I show it to as many people as I can.

/Popcorn

www.theroommovie.com
 
Psumek
2010-07-30 07:36:12 PM
jedzz:

{Everyone_betray_me.jpg}

That's a perfect movie. Nothing says date night like a nice half Canadian bacon with pineapple, half artichoke and pesto, light on the cheese pizza followed by a delicious scotchka. Sets the mood for soft core p0rn type sex.

/only to have it interupted by your mentally challenged 21 yo neighbor kid
 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark]
2010-07-30 07:46:55 PM
The English Major: Hey, it was the best I could come up with. I was just glad he reviewed it!

Oh, no worries, no prob, man.

All appreciated.


Mugato: And he gave Die Hard 2 stars. Die Hard.

And Speed 2 three stars.

AND Lakeview Terrace *AND* Knowing four stars.

Think about that for a second.

stoli n coke: Joed112784: Well he clearly saw that it is one of the greatest cinematic accomplishments of the last 50 years. I challenge any studio to recreate the perfect storm of suck created by this movie. It's almost beautiful. I show it to as many people as I can.

/Popcorn

This. Troll 2 is the Gone With The Wind of crap cinema.


Aye.

Few things are as rewarding as watching the reactions of someone who just got introduced to Troll 2.
 
Oysterman
2010-07-30 07:59:17 PM
FTA: A critic could become the most-hated person in fan circles by awarding it even half a star and spoiling the perfection of that zero.

I believe he just turned on the Armond White signal.
 
JoePiscopoJr.
2010-07-30 08:02:26 PM
I sooo want to see Best Worst Movie. I love me some Troll 2, I'm planning a family vacation to Nilbog this fall.
 
Capt. Sparkles
2010-07-30 08:34:23 PM
jedzz: Joed112784: Well he clearly saw that it is one of the greatest cinematic accomplishments of the last 50 years. I challenge any studio to recreate the perfect storm of suck created by this movie. It's almost beautiful. I show it to as many people as I can.

/Popcorn

That movie is epic fail on every known dimension of this universe, plus a few unknowns from another universe. What I'm trying to say is: It is inter-dimensional fail.

/it's not very good either
 
The Fool
2010-07-30 08:39:15 PM
jedzz: Joed112784: Well he clearly saw that it is one of the greatest cinematic accomplishments of the last 50 years. I challenge any studio to recreate the perfect storm of suck created by this movie. It's almost beautiful. I show it to as many people as I can.

/Popcorn

Link (new window)

Also a bit of a jerk.
 
antron
2010-07-30 09:09:36 PM
img715.imageshack.us
 
DeaH
2010-07-30 09:16:08 PM
FTA: Yes, "Troll 2" has a coveted zero percent rating on the Tomatometer: the lowest-rated film ever made.

Great, now Armand White is going to call it the greatest film ever made just to screw up the Tomatometer.
 
DeaH
2010-07-30 09:19:53 PM
Oysterman: FTA: A critic could become the most-hated person in fan circles by awarding it even half a star and spoiling the perfection of that zero.

I believe he just turned on the Armond White signal.

Oooo, you beat me to it!
 
CK2005
2010-07-30 09:43:09 PM
This is awesome hahaha. Ebert is the best.
 
oOCAKESOo
2010-07-30 09:51:29 PM
He actually says "Oh My Gosh!"
the sh is very subtle at the end
 
there4igraham
2010-07-30 10:07:04 PM
I give "The Room" a very hi Mark.
 
EngineerAU
2010-07-30 11:18:50 PM
And yet it still made more money than Delgo.
 
oldebayer
2010-07-30 11:55:58 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Mugato: And he gave Die Hard 2 stars. Die Hard.

And Speed 2 three stars.

AND Lakeview Terrace *AND* Knowing four stars.

Think about that for a second.

He also gave four stars to Love Streams, a movie I only watched all the way through to see John Cassavetes die in a long, painful, drawn-out and totally deserved way. I was very disappoint, and I have never respected Ebert's opinions since.
 
ertznay
2010-07-31 12:02:22 AM
Troll 2 sucks, and may very well be the worst movie made, but Shotgun is a damn close second.


He also gave four stars to Love Streams, a movie I only watched all the way through to see John Cassavetes die in a long, painful, drawn-out and totally deserved way. I was very disappoint, and I have never respected Ebert's opinions since.

Screw you, Cassavetes rocks. Love Streams is far from his best, but it's still good.
 
CK2005
2010-07-31 12:03:33 AM
oldebayer: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Mugato: And he gave Die Hard 2 stars. Die Hard.

And Speed 2 three stars.

AND Lakeview Terrace *AND* Knowing four stars.

Think about that for a second.

He also gave four stars to Love Streams, a movie I only watched all the way through to see John Cassavetes die in a long, painful, drawn-out and totally deserved way. I was very disappoint, and I have never respected Ebert's opinions since.

I disagree with him on a large number of movies, but he is still a great writer. Even when I disagree with his opinions, I still enjoy reading them. It's nice to get a well written point of view that might be different from your own.
 
Murderhahaha
2010-07-31 12:43:46 AM
Did he even review Troll 2? I guess Toshiro answered that up top. I do sort of wish he would. Best Worst Movie is pretty great, though. I think I liked it a little more than Ebert, maybe because I've seen Troll 2 a couple of times. Great double feature, to be honest.
 
Joed112784
2010-07-31 12:55:24 AM
The Room may be terrible, but there isn't anything as incomprehensible as the popcorn scene in Troll 2 in that movie. Or any movie for that matter.
 
Vuduchikn
2010-07-31 01:15:33 AM
Joed112784: The Room may be terrible, but there isn't anything as incomprehensible as the popcorn scene in Troll 2 in that movie. Or any movie for that matter.

You HAVE seen The Room, right? What about Denny (Dinny, Danny sp?)'s "drug problem" that appears out of nowhere and becomes a non-issue instantly?

/Or "I just got the results - I definitely have breast cancer"
//Oh wait... you said "AS" incomprehensible... hmm. Proceed, Troll 2-ers.
 
CK2005
2010-07-31 01:28:33 AM
Garrrbage Day!
*BLAM BLAM!*
 
agentanaranjado
2010-07-31 04:44:57 AM
The scene where the girl is dancing in front of the mirror is up there with the rooftop scene from "The Room" in terms of all-time farking terrible movie hilarity.

/I also recommend to anyone here who has not seen it "Aerobicide (aka Killer Workout)", another masterpiece of awful cinema.
 
Fano
2010-07-31 05:25:38 AM
DeaH: FTA: Yes, "Troll 2" has a coveted zero percent rating on the Tomatometer: the lowest-rated film ever made.

Great, now Armand White is going to call it the greatest film ever made just to screw up the Tomatometer.

And just think: TROLL 2. It's the perfect trap.
 
galactus5000
2010-07-31 08:55:24 AM
there4igraham: I give "The Room" a very hi Mark.

YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LISA!
 
GavinTheAlmighty
2010-07-31 09:26:50 AM
there4igraham: I give "The Room" a very hi Mark.

Boo this man! BOOOOOOOOOO
 
Kryllith [TotalFark]
2010-07-31 09:49:27 AM
Recently ran a campaign with a Nilbog as the main antagonist so I'm getting a kick...
 
galactus5000
2010-07-31 10:39:24 AM
GavinTheAlmighty: there4igraham: I give "The Room" a very hi Mark.

Boo this man! BOOOOOOOOOO

YOU'RE NOT MY F'N MOTHER!!
 
secularsage
2010-07-31 04:19:16 PM
Sometimes, I forget what a great writer Roger Ebert can be. And then I read lines like this one:

The lesson, I guess, is that you can only be the flavor of the month for about 30 days, sometimes 31. "Troll 2" was February.

Profound AND funny. That's some good stuff, Mr. Ebert.
 
calbert [TotalFark]
2010-08-02 09:55:13 AM
The English Major: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Well... kinda, subby.

Hey, it was the best I could come up with. I was just glad he reviewed it!

he didn't farking review it, you retard
 
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